My Current Novel Project

[DiegoDraw]

Alright. Well, I've written one novel before, and I strive to do it again, but for some reason, I guess I've just never been able to get very far with it. However, this I'm hoping to be a well-worked out idea before I start so that it can be written well. I have the concept of what I want in the novel down. I currently don't have any story points yet (for example, no character concepts for the protagonist or antagonist and no real solid plot points), but that will come with time. I'll probably update this thread as I begin outlining the plot and then as I begin writing and what not. Anyways, enough of the set-up. I'd appreciate as much harsh criticism as you want to dish out. If you think it sucks, tell me! Don't worry, you will absolutely not hurt my feelings. I want as harsh as you can possibly dish out (while still being comprehensible and constructive, that is ). So, here's the concept, setting, and very rough outline of what's going down in the story: It's a futuristic social satire (a la George Orwell's 1984), meant to hopefully draw out the ridiculousness of the extremist religious AND extremist atheistic views. For reference, I myself am an atheist (it perhaps would be necessary to point that out to portray exactly where I'm coming from here). The story will take place in a (at least as of now) indefinite place in the future. There is a worldwide governing body (as in each country has a locational government as states have governments, but there is a centralized federal government of the world, unliked today's United Nations), and it is very atheistic. The government basically rejects faith in all forms. If you are aware of either of the writers/atheist activists Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris (writers of, respectively The God Delusion and Letter to a Christian Nation), this might make more sense. They reject those who believe in God, but also those who have faith in any religion. Obviously, this is the extremist atheism. But it's to the point where there is hardly any fidelity at all anymore. There are no marriages (not that they aren't allowed, just uncommon due to mistrust), most children are only bastardized, and probably not accepted by the mother (but of course, the mother doesn't trust any doctor to give her an abortion). There is very low education, and everyone is so incredibly paranoid of trusting anyone that it's almost complete chaos. But of course there's still the government. They retain control (kind of), but obviously a democracy would crumble within seconds of its existence, and the government is just an oligarchy, but even that is highly unstable, and those who hold power only do until they are smart enough to quit or are assassinated by those who lust for their jobs. Now, this brings us to the other side. Of course, there are rebels, who dislike the government (don't stop here, it's not that cheesy). They are religious extremists, and belong to the "cult of God." This is pretty highly Christian, but is inclusive of all monotheistic religions (Hinduism and other polytheistic religions sort of trailed off and got assimilated eventually). This cult, though is mostly following the teachings of texts such as the old testament, which was largely violent and horribly sacrificial. Thus they are hardly any better than the government itself. They are active in their promotion of God, but choose to do it in a horribly bloody way, and are basically just bloodlusting people, but who are "righteous" because they follow God. The atheistic government basically deals with these people by torturing them until they crack and give into atheistic beliefs (or at least are broken enough to shut up about their own beliefs). So as you can see, neither side is very...nice... Well, this is where the story begins. A new "cult" of rebels grows, this one being atheistic, but inclusive and trusting, referring to other members as brothers and sisters of faith and they are actually the first in a long while to actually have something formed like this, seeing as most people choose to follow the government in their entire lack of fidelity. The government begins by overlooking these people, seeing as they really don't care about what clubs are formed as long as they are atheistic, but soon the government is keeping a watchful eye on them, and begins feeling threatened. This group of faithful-yet-atheistic "happy mediumers" are actually accomplishing FAR more than the government could hope to in their chaotic state, seeing as nobody in the government can actually bother liking each other. Eventually, this group strives to take control, works on sedating the cult of God, and actually performs a successful preach to the cult, after some tribulation, and they basically tell the cult that what they're doing isn't any better, but that they should find sort of that happy medium, where they don't have to bother killing a bunch of people to get their way. Now, the government jumps at this chance. They notice that the group of atheists has just approved of faith, and use this to lunge at them politically. Eventually, this leads into an unnecessary battle and a large amount of the group is slaughtered mercilessly, because they refuse to stoop to the level of the government. But in the middle of the battle, something happens, and there's a ton of confusion, because different people vying for power see their chance to lunge into a higher power. In seemingly a split second, the second-in-command is turned against, the seargants are killed off, and basically the pyramid tumbles as was obviously expected by such an uneasy unstable governmental system. The higher powers try to defend themselves as they start being assassinated by the lower power, and basically everything falls apart pretty fast, and eventually the group takes power as the new worldwide government, explaining to the public their views, and it's generally well-received. There's a lot of crap for them to clean up, but they're up to the task. So...Sorry for the extensive post. What do you guys think about this, though? ~D-Draw

[skyS]

I think there's room for improvement. The whole idea is pretty creative- but maybe you need to add a romance or something to detract from the intensity of the whole ordeal- well I guess you havent thought of all that- but it's interesting- it would need to be exciting. I think the cult of God should be more liberal.

[DiegoDraw]

I think there's room for improvement. The whole idea is pretty creative- but maybe you need to add a romance or something to detract from the intensity of the whole ordeal- well I guess you havent thought of all that- but it's interesting- it would need to be exciting. I think the cult of God should be more liberal. [/b] Yeah, I was actually probably going to have a romance, as sort of a way of showing the values and morals of the group. And believe me when I say I know there is definitely room for improvement. Heh. This is a very rough concept right now. And what do you mean about the cult of God being more liberal? I don't want them dulled down, if that's what you mean. I want to portray the extreme angles. ~D-Draw

[Adagio molto]

The atheistic government basically deals with these people by torturing them until they crack and give into atheistic beliefs (or at least are broken enough to shut up about their own beliefs). [/b] Until they give into Big Brother! Yes, very reminiscent of 1984. I think it's a good story, I would enjoy reading and discussing it. One question I have; what "side" is the protanist in? Or the antagonist? Winston was a "rebel" right? But I don't clearly remember if the story was through his point of view. Or you could sort alter the position of the protagonist, a la "Brave New World", where Bernard is an insecure hypocrite.

[DiegoDraw]

Okay, I've got an outline down, which should give you an idea of where this is going to be going sort of. I apologize as some of this is probably not adherent, due to the fact that my outlines are generally written specifically for me, and things that will spark my memory. Nevertheless, I think this'll convey the basic plotline. If anybody actually wants to read an outline that would make more sense, feel free to ask me, and I'll re-do it. For now, I might as well stick with this one: Outline: -Third Person: Police bust in on a family holding a candlelight vigil for a loved one in an apartment. There are decorated emblems of christianity in the display. Family is beaten mercilessly and a rope is thrown around their necks as they are dragged from the home and thrown in a vehicle. -First Person: "This is the world in which I live..." speech. Explain the basics of the world, with a relative amount of characterizing bias. -Sam Thomas walks into the street, describing people's emotions, faces, and feelings. Walks into coffee shop, ordering a coffee. A young woman--Catherine Harris--steps up and talks to him, breaking the silence of the coffee shop, asking him what time it is. He responds kindly, and she thanks him, then orders a cappuccino. Sam whispers in her ear that the cappuccinos at the place aren't any good, and she should get a regular coffe. She chuckles and reorders. -Girl asks Sam's phone number. He looks at her oddly, and then writes it down for her, asking her if she's new to this place. She says "What place," he says "You know...Earth?" She chuckles and they part ways. -Sam goes to his office job as an accountant. The firm is not doing well and rumors are floating around that there's going to be downsizing. Sam gets to his file folder, and he doesn't have any work. He figures it's a mistake, but figures out it's not, because nobody trusts the firm well enough, and most people take their checkbooks into their own hands. The boss gives him the day off for now. -Sam leaves, briefcase empty, and walks back to his apartment. Looks at girl's phone number on the table, picks up phone and calls her. Catherine and Sam meet up at coffee shop--O'Gara's--and discuss how stupid people are acting, but mostly whispering. Finally, the clerk asks them to leave because they're causing a disturbance. They leave, and Sam goes back home. -Sam checks messages--one from Catherine, telling him to meet her at O'Gara's the next morning. He goes to sleep, and heads over to O'Gara's early in the morning. They talk for a while, and Sam goes to work. He is fired along with three other people. One of them talks to him after they leave the building, about being sick of the place. -Sam calls Catherine, bringing the other fired worker, Steven, along with him. They meet up at O'Gara's again. They start talking about change and how things can be different if people actually trusted each other. The waiter overhears and wants to help them out. He tells them to come back after dark and let's them in to discuss how things can work better, and how much of a difference they could make. -Meet in coffee shop every night for weeks, when finally Sam wants to put their heads together and make a plan for action. They decide they need to evolve from the nighttime meetintgs at a coffee shop. They put some money together to rent a space for their group to grow, and do so the next morning. -Sam gets a call from his father. His mother has been fatally wounded by a stray bullet in crossfire. He asks Sam to come to the capital city of the government to tend to her death bed. He instantly heads to the airport, and Catherine meets him there, and they fly to the capital city. -Sam and Catherine arrive, see the chaos in the city (third person for small description). The government doesn't bother with even a police watch, and there are many criminals. Sam goes to his mother, and sees her just as she's dying. Sam insists his father come home with him, but his father disagrees. -Sam and Catherine have to rent a hotel room because Sam's father can't afford to harbor any more people. They have an "almost sex scene." Catherine kisses Sam, and they start getting active, but Sam is hesitant, and Catherine can tell that he is, so backs off. -Sam goes to funeral with Catherine and they return home after the funeral and more insistance but denial between Sam and his father. -(Third Person for small description) When they get back, the group has substantially grown, and so has the presence of the "cult of God" in the city, as well as city watchmen. The growth has attracted the government's attention, and the group is under watch by spies of the government, but they can't do anything about them yet, due to preoccupation with the cult of God members. -Sam finds out that Steven was captured by the cult of God. Sam goes on a rescue mission to save his friend, but it's too late. Steven tells him to not mess with the cult of God, because they're extremely dangerous and the group isn't ready to retaliate against so potent a foe. Sam hesitates because of Steven's dying words, but tells everyone that Steven told him to seek revenge for the sake of Steven's dignity, and that revenge is something that they should beging to bolster for, but not take quite yet. -Third Person: Catherine staggers down the street after being attacked by government agents. She goes to Sam's house for shelter, and he takes her in and tends to her wounds, and they end up having a sexual encounter in Sam's house. -First Person: Sam decides that he's organizing a march on the government. He gathers the group together to march on the capital. They do so. -Climax: At the capital, the extremist leader and some loyal followers are standing up to the government. The government orders all of them killed immediately. They stand there and take the bullets because they want to be martyred. Third Person: Sam steps forward after the battle takes place and asks why they felt it necessary to resort to violence. Government sees the chance to final pin some charges on the rebel group, and call him on sympathizing with the enemy. The rebels refuse to stoop to the government's level, and so are killed mercilessly until all the government agents turn on each other in a strive for power. All government agents are killed. Sam is shot in the shoulder, and bleeding a lot. Sam goes and grabs the second-in-command's keys and barges into the capital building, and straight into the president's office. He pulls out a pistol. -"This first and only bullet..." speech. Shoves the pistol nose into the president's stomach and fires it. -First Peron: Sam pops up on the nationally televised screen and makes a "There's so much to do, but we are ready for it." As you can see, there are times when the narration switches over to third person, which then is an omniscient narrator that isn't in the story. This is just to make some scenes more powerful but still allow the view of one of the characters to be watched carefully. ~D-Draw

[DiegoDraw]

The beginning of the story, for a taste of my writing style and how the book is going to be fleshed out: Candlelight flickers dimly, refracting off of a sheet of glass. Sparkles dance from a cross-shaped object leaning against the wall. Wreaths of flowers hide in the shadows behind a portrait, illuminated by the dozen candles of different heights. A violin concerto plays in the background as a family of three bows their head in mourning. Two small girls bury their heads into the bosom of their mother eyes never breaking from the last remaining image of their father. Smoke rises from the display as all the candles burn, and a small box on the ceiling instantly becomes aware of the presence. Beeping loudly and untamed, the alarm flashes in despair. The mother panics, smashing the box, and quickly attempting to clean up the display. But she is far too late. The front door is swung open, as the mother holds in her hand the small crossed ornament. Three men, dressed in all black with helmets resting atop their skulls turn their heads warily, sending shockwaves through the mother’s spine. The children huddle in the corner of the room. The cross drops to the wooden floor and breaks in half. The three men silently remove ropes attached to their belts securely, and walk into the room. One man leans over in an act of unmerciful menace, cracking the picture frame open and burning the picture inside of it. One rope falls tragically over the neck of the mother. Two more fall over the children, helplessly flailing. The men walk from the apartment building downstairs, leaving the door wide open and the house unturned, with three humans forcefully marching behind them, heading towards unimaginable torture and disparity in the conversion of their lives. This is the world in which I live. The government’s power, from their hold in Mallus Sactionoris, reign over all of Earth, and with their reign comes their faith, their beliefs, shoved down the throats of every single inhabitant. Faith as a concept is intolerable. But with the defenestration of faith comes also the abolition of fidelity. While nobody is allowed to claim themselves as a part of a religious group, just the same they are made paranoid by the announcements and harsh criticisms of trust displayed by the government. This is the world in which I live. Friends are optional, and rare. Those who know true friendship hear it only because of regularity and it only feeds off of punctuality and pragmatics. Those who trust each other do so not by choice, but by a feeling of necessity. Family is a term neither remembered nor revered, nor even respected too oft. Most who come into this world do usually as a result of unexpectedness, or more so of prostitution or rape. Romance is not worth the time and risk, and those who love someone are considered not lovers and fools, but solely the latter. My name is Sam Thomas, and this unerringly unbearable world is the world in which I live. ~D-Draw

[Roller]

Hey man good work indeed... I wrote a novel a while ago and it was a very scary and fun experience, but I have yet to get started on my second one. I guess you don't need any advice seeing as you've already written one, but at least talking over the story with people helps to flesh it out and construct it in your mind. I've only glanced over your idea, but it seems a very good one. It's strange how 1984 affects so many readers.

[DiegoDraw]

Hey man good work indeed... I wrote a novel a while ago and it was a very scary and fun experience, but I have yet to get started on my second one. I guess you don't need any advice seeing as you've already written one, but at least talking over the story with people helps to flesh it out and construct it in your mind. I've only glanced over your idea, but it seems a very good one. It's strange how 1984 affects so many readers. [/b] Heh. I can always use advice. At least I try to get more all the time. And I've already talked through the plotline with a few different people (and I've had arguments in my head in plentiful abundance). So yeah. I'm about two-thousand words in, but I'm kind of procrastinating. ~D-Draw

[Roller]

Hmm my best advice is to close your eyes and type like mad, especially in the first draft. With my novel I worked by just writing as much as I could and never reading back over my writing until I finished the first draft. The reason I did this is that it was my first draft, and my first novel, and I wanted to just get it written without being plagued by the whole self-doubt stuff. I find that if I try reading over a draft while I'm still writing it I start to want to correct little things and re-write chapters and tweak little aspects... I end up getting nowhere. Getting the first draft down and written is the most important things, I think, because it gives a platform to get stuck into the other drafts, which is where most of the hard work is done. The only drawback that I found with the 'close your eyes and go' method was that I kind of lost direction a few times, and my writing sometimes didn't make much sense. It does make it a lot of fun though... kind of like an adventure I guess. Yeah, it helps to have a bit of a plan, and fleshing it out the way that you have already will be a big advantage, but be careful that you don't get stuck just at the planning stage. Also, don't be afraid to change direction and you plan - it should be a guide, not a be-all-end-all. Man, I'm starting to want to write another novel now... just starting to realise how much fun I had.