poems!!

[rastasteez]

hey couldnt find a all around poem thread so, here please just post your poems that you've made. here are some of mine. im not good and i like writing about my memories I loved you once I loved you twice But then I fell for you a third time And I hit, hard like a bird from the sky it was then that I knew that it was all a lie As you pulled me from above the only thing I thought about was your love it was in my eyes but all I saw were your “goodbyes” I thought you were nice now im just left here under all this ice wondering did you ever love me to Was it ever true? I guess ill never know unless you tell me so ^^^^^^^ this was about no one in particular This is a picture of us When we were young What the fuck is that on your tounge Look at our crazy faces We barely knew how to tie our laces we were best friends Then you left me But you are still my favorite as can be Our stupid fights Lead into fun crazy nights We still keep in touch When I see you, I run, hug, and clutch You are still my favorite girl My best friend I will never forget you My favorite foo And until the end This is what I give you to lend My heart Until we return to the start ^^^^^^^^^about my best friend that moved HI BEN ______... The way i said your name made me sound very lame as your smile grew one brighter it made my day a whole lot lighter. your blue eyes twinkled like a star your blonde hair coming from under your hat you are hard to make smile but i conquered that feat as i did i felt my heart skip a beat. as you walk to class it made me feel as if i were a shard of glass beautiful, but when dropped to the ground it made a pitiful sound. this day will be a memory never forgotten a day spent with you a day turned from turned from black to blue. it is you ben who is my friend who is there for me when i am down i will be there for you when you need it most i dont mean to boast, but you are one of my best friends ^^^about a guy i liked at the time. i dont anymore but we are good friends and i still love this poem. it reminds me of him, which is good! i wrote these freshman/sophomore yr i cant remember which

[WhiteVeins]

I'm not much for rhyming poetry, but "This is a picture of us / When we were young / What the fuck is that on your tounge" is brilliant.

[rastasteez]

I'm not much for rhyming poetry, but "This is a picture of us / When we were young / What the fuck is that on your tounge" is brilliant. haha that wasnt just for rhyming either! shes actually has a picture of us when we were like 4 and she has something on her tongue! but thanks!

[nerve]

that reminds me of that nickelback song that I hate. anyway, you're right, the poems aren't good. I'm not trying to put you down, and I'm not an expert on poetry by any stretch, but your rhymes are totally hackneyed; you've used a lot of lines that you'll hear in thousands and thousands of less than mediocre songs. they take no effort, no thought, and anyone can do it. they lack originality. also, they lack fluency, the syllables (or stresses, or whatever, I don't know the poetical terms) aren't placed well, which makes the poems choppy, rough, not pleasing to the ears (which is like the whole point of poetry). If you like to write, try...writing the exact opposite of what pops into your head? ok, really, do some writing exercises. you can probably find some by searching "poetry exercises" on google. the best advice I can give you, though, is to practice, write and write and write. write a lot of crap that is strictly for practice and not meant to be final or complete. do it knowing you're free to make mistakes and sound stupid. if you practice a lot, you can improve a lot. and read a lot of other poems. I found this one just now, it's nice: Bring me all of your dreams, You dreamers, Bring me all of your Heart melodies That I may wrap them In a blue cloud-cloth Away from the too-rough fingers Of the world. --Langston Hughes it doesn't rhyme, but it sounds pleasant, it has a very nice flow. and it doesn't use lines you've heard a million times on the radio. so if you want to write, practice a lot, and try to avoid saying what everyone else says.

[rastasteez]

hah yeah i know i suck!! these are just poems ive written during class..tired and bored and no thought..i dont like that nickoleback song either but it reminded me of me and my friend! haha i idk but thanks im gunna work on t hem i stopped for a b out a yr... no one i know write poetry so i dont hear it a lot. =] thankss