Don't Stop For Cats.

[kiddo]

lyrics I wrote for my band which are a little less on the poetic side toward the end, but they're lyrics. which can be heard at: www.myspace.com/areyouokaymyspace if you check out the actual music, bare with us on the recordings, it's all we can afford _________________________ watch him feed her with the kitchen fork and it's got sweets, sweetie. you're just starting when you're already done. how does that taste? i bet it tastes real good and that's why you fold. i've been sculpting ice out in the cold. i know that the sun will melt her wings into a pot of gold. i will smile at the believers sleeping in my back yard. cut the cake to let the spiders flee, they've become dependent on the frosting. they're happy to solve your problems and you haven't a hint of a bath your eyes have sunk ships in the wake of all your math. numbers rot your foundation. all of your wants have been baked and rationed out to the starving and they nibble nibble and the orphaned infants pick up their dribble dribble. she knows your married but the chocolate is hers. "if you touch a cats belly, she might pur", she's leaving it in your hands to rough her fur. i've got her attention but i didn't warm the milk. our progress is that of the living dead. "now or never, as is or not at all! i'll take off this ring and make a call! this is autumn speaking, not the fall!" i can smell apples on her breath, she's been eating knowledge and it's crystal clear that she's been doing crystal meth! [she's afraid of water. "there's no alcohol in water, and i'm really warm". get this girl some chloro-chloroform. i don't have any drugs for you. "but you are a drug". actually you're wrong, i'm the calm before the storm.] is it because i sing? girl, i can't afford a nice ring. i like to write, i'm not giving up for a girl who doesn't give a fuck. some girls, they just don't give a fuck. most of them are just bad luck. some girls should just get hit by a truck.

[Identity X]

Get a lyricist. As a fan of Interpol sometimes I have to make do with nonsense lyrics, but that's not to say I like them. And although, this might mean something to you, only snippets are coherent to me. Should all lyrics be meaningful and lucid? I think so. Unless you deliberately want to be surreal you might as well go the distance a la Sigur Ros and make up a language. I've not heard the song but the lyrics aren't too great. BTW I'd say exactly the same to Paul Banks. Edit: I might have a little go at writing some lyrics to this tune that as yet is unheard due to techical reasons. But it depends. I am not a lyricist as I advise you to "get".

[kiddo]

Hmm, I always thought of myself more a lyricist than an overall musician. I guess I forget that metaphors to myself appear as gibberish to others. I always liked how in writing, the reader can make anything they want of it. It's not always about how the writer intends it. It's what everyone can take from it in different ways. I've never heard/read Paul Banks. Never got into Interpol. I don't really know anyone else who enjoys writing, and I've always had this thing against singing other people's words unless it's a cover. So what I should focus on is making sure the reader can understand it?

[Carôusoul]

Hello generic hair. I just luvvv your generic music. Pft.

[kiddo]

We play what we like. What is wrong with that?

[Carôusoul]

Nothing. Nothing. 's just very.. done.

[Identity X]

Edit: I might have a little go at writing some lyrics to this tune that as yet is unheard due to techical reasons. But it depends. I am not a lyricist as I advise you to "get". I retract this comment. I will not have a go at writing lyrics to that. Sorry dude, I couldn't even hear those lyrics let alone comment on them in context. What I could hear is your music, which is why I turned off my speakers after a while. Yuck. I have no idea what genre that is but I don't think there are many that are willing to contain it. On a positive note some of your MySpace "friends" are quite attractive. Hello generic hair. I just luvvv your generic music. At least in previous avatars, your hair looked like a rip out of almost every "moody teenage male" anime character ever to disgrace the screen. Not that I would usually insult someones hair, but, and I know this is the lamest of excuses, you started it.

[Carôusoul]

I retract this comment. I will not have a go at writing lyrics to that. Sorry dude, I couldn't even hear those lyrics let alone comment on them in context. What I could hear is your music, which is why I turned off my speakers after a while. Yuck. I have no idea what genre that is but I don't think there are many that are willing to contain it. On a positive note some of your MySpace "friends" are quite attractive. At least in previous avatars, your hair looked like a rip out of almost every "moody teenage male" anime character ever to disgrace the screen. Not that I would usually insult someones hair, but, and I know this is the lamest of excuses, you started it. I've seen the light since my previous avatars. Which is hence why I know exactly everything about this music and the attitude and stuffz. Yawn. I have grown as a person. I'm hoping this fellow can do the same.

[Identity X]

I have grown as a person. I'm hoping this fellow can do the same. Now don't go preaching. What I can suggest though is that kiddo's music is objectively not very good. I would say "try harder" but I'm not convinced. I'd suggest you reconsider musicianship altogether.

[Siиdяed]

*watches someone's dreams torn apart and eaten by Identity X...wishes there was something he could do to help...gives up, looks for spare change*

[CoLd BlooDed]

As someone who doesn't mind this kinda music (I love Underoath), I can give an unbiased description of why it doesn't sound good, and not just telling you straight out like Identity. Personally, I like the lyrics. Metaphor doesn't have to be relatable to the audience at all... metaphor applies to only you if you want it to apply to only you. Either that or you can make obvious metaphor that people will understand. I mean, look at my poetry thread in this section, I'm a metaphorholic. If it's your style, don't change it. I like the surrealism. One thing you got down is the screaming, good projection and all that, and your words are still intelligible (coming from someone who can actually understand the screaming ). However, the actual singing itself is terrible, including the harmonies. The guitar playing, for the most part, is horrible too; lots of flubbed notes and subpar timing. And I'm not saying that because I'm trying to be mean... but as someone who writes, sings, and plays guitar I'm just trying to tell you what to improve on. Good luck.

[Identity X]

As someone who doesn't mind this kinda music (I love Underoath), I can give an unbiased description of why it doesn't sound good, and not just telling you straight out like Identity. Personally, I like the lyrics. Metaphor doesn't have to be relatable to the audience at all... metaphor applies to only you if you want it to apply to only you. Either that or you can make obvious metaphor that people will understand. I mean, look at my poetry thread in this section, I'm a metaphorholic. If it's your style, don't change it. I like the surrealism. One thing you got down is the screaming, good projection and all that, and your words are still intelligible (coming from someone who can actually understand the screaming ). However, the actual singing itself is terrible, including the harmonies. The guitar playing, for the most part, is horrible too; lots of flubbed notes and subpar timing. And I'm not saying that because I'm trying to be mean... but as someone who writes, sings, and plays guitar I'm just trying to tell you what to improve on. Good luck. Yeah, this. I know nothing of music, so I couldn't say why it sounded bad. Thanks for the clarification. I didn't mean to tear up his dreams "and eat it". But I guess, since his username is that of his band, he came here with the aim to get feedback on his music, or at least that's why this thread here. And we all deserve an honest review. Seriously, I could have been more descriptive with my utter disgust at his music (I really really don't like it), but that would not have added anything to the post. But yeah, it's bad.

[kiddo]

Thanks ColdBlooded. IdentityX, if you know nothing of music than you shouldn't be the one dishing out the criticism. Also, hairstyle is not what makes a person. So, if I were to cut my hair, I wouldn't 'grow as a person', it doesn't make any sense. Also, it'd prove how low you are if you were to comment on who I am through one song, my hair, and one current band that I am involved with because you don't know me, and I don't know you. I won't "re-consider musicianship" no matter how terrible it is to you, because I guess when it all comes down to it, the only thing that matters is that I enjoy doing it myself. You guys should probably make up your mind. Identity doesn't recognize the genre, Carousoul thinks it's too generic.

[Siиdяed]

I think it's just swell! Seriously though, I would agree with you. Keep at what you to do, and you'll improve. Or not. Just enjoy yourself, have your hair how you want it, be generic (it's good enough for everyone else), just go crazy. Don't give up your musicianship, it's a neat skill. There. I made up my mind.

[CoLd BlooDed]

I didn't mean to tear up his dreams "and eat it". Hah, you didn't do that. You gave an honest reply, and that's fine. I mean, there's certain tastes that people have, right? As for me, I like everything, so I thought I'd give a (semi) indepth review. No worries.

[thegnome54]

I think it's just swell! Seriously though, I would agree with you. Keep at what you to do, and you'll improve. Or not. Just enjoy yourself, have your hair how you want it, be generic (it's good enough for everyone else), just go crazy. Don't give up your musicianship, it's a neat skill. There. I made up my mind. Seconded. Though I'll admit that I hate the music, I don't generally like metal (edit - I'm not even sure if it's metal, to hint at the extent of my musical ignorance. I just don't like screaming music, I guess) so my opinion is irrelevant. As long as you enjoy yourself.

[CoLd BlooDed]

It's screamo, not metal. Big difference, hahah. (Yes, I'm aware you admitted your musical ignorance, I just thought it was funny )

[Identity X]

Thanks ColdBlooded. IdentityX, if you know nothing of music than you shouldn't be the one dishing out the criticism. Also, hairstyle is not what makes a person. So, if I were to cut my hair, I wouldn't 'grow as a person', it doesn't make any sense. Also, it'd prove how low you are if you were to comment on who I am through one song, my hair, and one current band that I am involved with because you don't know me, and I don't know you. I won't "re-consider musicianship" no matter how terrible it is to you, because I guess when it all comes down to it, the only thing that matters is that I enjoy doing it myself. You guys should probably make up your mind. Identity doesn't recognize the genre, Carousoul thinks it's too generic. Uh, I enjoy music, I listen to it a lot, pretty much any time I can. I buy albums. Of course I should be allowed to dish out criticism. And, yeah, I think it's nigh on terrible. But as long as you enjoy it, I guess that's ok. I just have an issue with you advertising it. I enjoy drawing, especially in lectures, but I'm shit at it and you won't be see any "Drawings of Identity X" threads here. Also, Carousoul wasn't judging you on "one song, ... and one current band that I am involved with", he was judging you on a song that you chose to share with us here as representative of your work, a song you presented to us for critique. Of course, as your own creation, we tend to extrapolate some details from that. Or, rather, that you presented it here in the first place. I've listened to others and they sound similar. And, yes, I don't like them too. Carousoul doesn't know you, that is true, but what does it matter? You ask us to listen to your song and then do not accept criticism because we're strangers? If you only want to listen to your friends, do so, but however upright they are at least a proportion will be inclined towards a favourable bias due to your relationship with them. Cold, hard anonymity provides the best criticism, I have found with my poems at least. And some of my poems have been objectively crap. But I accepted this criticism and did not question the integrity of those that dished it out on the sole basis of their anonymity. Ok, so mine and Carousoul's criticism were not great literary feats, but you should not dismiss them, simply because I don't know the technicalities of music. I apologise if my post was shallow, but I felt I had to reply. This is all a bit annoying. And don't get me started on the song...

[Merlock]

I'll have to go with Identity X on this one but go a step further. How is that music? How is that singing? You're talking in a loud ragged voice on top of a repeating barely melodic guitar sound... However, could you perhaps post the lyrics here? There's no link to the lyrics themselves on your page (or maybe I didn't find it), and seeing how I can't tell them apart from the "singing", I'd like to actually read them and see what the song is about. Since, although I can't imagine anyone finding listening to that pleasant, I can't speak for everyone, and thus would like to look over the song itself, at least for the value the lyrics add to any song (for me, lyrics usually mean more than vocals but about the same as the music).

[Identity X]

I'll have to go with Identity X on this one but go a step further. How is that music? How is that singing? You're talking in a loud ragged voice on top of a repeating barely melodic guitar sound... However, could you perhaps post the lyrics here? There's no link to the lyrics themselves on your page (or maybe I didn't find it), and seeing how I can't tell them apart from the "singing", I'd like to actually read them and see what the song is about. Since, although I can't imagine anyone finding listening to that pleasant, I can't speak for everyone, and thus would like to look over the song itself, at least for the value the lyrics add to any song (for me, lyrics usually mean more than vocals but about the same as the music). They're in the original post. Although the lyrics have themselves only limited merit, it's such a waste...

[Merlock]

Well, here's to my blindness and/or unattentiveness. I had deduced everything below the first line was his signature...didn't even bother reading. Ah, my impatience will be the death of me. The lyrics are interesting and have rhymes in them, which is indeed a merit since rhyming is innately more pleasant to the ear. But...really...my view remains negative. With such delivery, any lyrics are rather...well, "a waste" indeed.

[kiddo]

Uh, I enjoy music, I listen to it a lot, pretty much any time I can. I buy albums. Of course I should be allowed to dish out criticism. And, yeah, I think it's nigh on terrible. But as long as you enjoy it, I guess that's ok. I just have an issue with you advertising it. I enjoy drawing, especially in lectures, but I'm shit at it and you won't be see any "Drawings of Identity X" threads here. Also, Carousoul wasn't judging you on "one song, ... and one current band that I am involved with", he was judging you on a song that you chose to share with us here as representative of your work, a song you presented to us for critique. Of course, as your own creation, we tend to extrapolate some details from that. Or, rather, that you presented it here in the first place. I've listened to others and they sound similar. And, yes, I don't like them too. Carousoul doesn't know you, that is true, but what does it matter? You ask us to listen to your song and then do not accept criticism because we're strangers? If you only want to listen to your friends, do so, but however upright they are at least a proportion will be inclined towards a favourable bias due to your relationship with them. Cold, hard anonymity provides the best criticism, I have found with my poems at least. And some of my poems have been objectively crap. But I accepted this criticism and did not question the integrity of those that dished it out on the sole basis of their anonymity. Ok, so mine and Carousoul's criticism were not great literary feats, but you should not dismiss them, simply because I don't know the technicalities of music. I apologise if my post was shallow, but I felt I had to reply. This is all a bit annoying. And don't get me started on the song... I usually wouldn't be bothered by criticism, but this: What I can suggest though is that kiddo's music is objectively not very good. I would say "try harder" but I'm not convinced. I'd suggest you reconsider musicianship altogether. You even said that some of your own work has been utter crap, but has anyone told you to reconsider writing altogether because that one was utter crap? Oh well. I won't post anymore lyrics/music, and we'll all be happy and dandy

[Carôusoul]

[ClouD]

/me breaks down and cries.

[Siиdяed]