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    1. 08-24-2008 08:12 AM #1
      wer
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      Attempt at song writing

      Hello everyone. Just recently I've started to write songs (for the guitar), and I'd like to know what you guys think of my most recent one. Please note that this is the forth song I've ever written, so be nice.

      Frangible Reverie

      Look outside your window,
      And see what I see,
      I am the same as you are,
      There is nothing we can't be,
      What can you see when you feel me?
      Am I here or are you dreaming me?

      Is this what they call a tangible reality?
      It feels more like a frangible reverie,
      But when your eyes look into mine,
      You've erased all that is lonely inside me

      I can't tell how I feel when I see you,
      But I think its something they call love,
      The thing is I don't even know who you are,
      Its your humanity that makes me want to be you,
      Its that quality thats so close yet so far

      Is this what they call a tangible reality?
      It feels more like a frangible reverie
      But when your eyes look into mine,
      You've erased all that is lonely inside me

      It isn't memory that keeps us from getting lost,
      Its the mystery that sparks up all thought,
      We won't be history but we'll still leave our mark

      We will die, but we won't ever cease to be,
      We may loose ourselves, but who are we actually?
      Our names have never governed reality,
      We're all just a part of the this cosmic mystery

      Oh is this what they call a tangible reality?
      It seems more like a frangible reverie,
      But when your eyes look into mine,
      You've erased all that is lonely inside me

      I haven't decided if its finished yet. What do you guys think? Any suggestions?
      "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
      - Albert Einstein
      "We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about."
      -Joseph Campbell
      "He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilisation should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."
      -Albert Einstein
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    2. 08-24-2008 02:04 PM #2
      Afterglow
      Australia Afterglow is offline
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      Personally I like it, the way that it is structured in some of the lines, for example, "Is this what they call a tangible reality?
      It feels more like a frangible reverie,"

      Seems really catchy and intriguing

      Good work, I really like it
      When I was in high school I was very ambitious, I wanted to be the Class President but I missed out by only about 3 votes.

      So they made me the Class Secretary of Defence.
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