The Boy - A Suicide

**ClouD** · 02-09-2009 10:38 AM

ClouD(7:46 PM):
the boy reached for the razor, the cold airconditioning really getting to him now
ClouD(7:50 PM):
the razor was laying in a small pool of water, and with the wet air it slipped
ClouD(7:51 PM):
it cut lightly into his thumb
ClouD(7:51 PM):
not hard enough to draw blood
ClouD(7:51 PM):
but enough to cause an attractive sting, clenching his teeth
Daniel Danciu(7:51 PM):
did he enjoy the sting?
ClouD(7:51 PM):
yes
ClouD(7:51 PM):
in a way
Daniel Danciu(7:51 PM):
did he want to do it again?
Daniel Danciu(7:52 PM):
or was he feeling unsure?
ClouD(7:52 PM):
he lightly rolled the razor between his thumb and finger to pick it up
ClouD(7:52 PM):
the razor cut deeper this time, slipping again flat into the water
ClouD(7:52 PM):
his cheeks tightening around his clenched teeth
ClouD(7:53 PM):
saliva steadily building up on his sore tongue
ClouD(7:53 PM):
this is it
ClouD(7:54 PM):
he reach down and brought his index finger to the center of the razor and pressed hard so that he could pincer it with his thumb
ClouD(7:54 PM):
this time the razor went deep to cause an aching pain
Daniel Danciu(7:54 PM):
why is he doing this again and again?
ClouD(7:55 PM):
expending energy into thin air, tears streamed down to drop onto his exposed legs
ClouD(7:55 PM):
i don't know Daniel
ClouD(7:55 PM):
his face tightened and relaxed and then tightened again, contorting with anguish
ClouD(7:56 PM):
the razor still cutting deep into his thumb and causing a steady trickle of blood to dilute on the wet floor
ClouD(7:56 PM):
he raised it higher
ClouD(7:56 PM):
and brought the razor to his thigh
ClouD(7:56 PM):
this wasn't a fucking game, and anger crept in to take control
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
hah
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
just watch it
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
there is nothing in this
ClouD(7:57 PM):
lul
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
nothing to lose, nothing to gain
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
just a razor, just flesh to cut
ClouD(7:57 PM):
i've been speaking through emotion since i said the first line n__n
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
just blood to bleed, into a pool of water
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
i was asking questions from the heart
ClouD(7:57 PM):
yes, tranquil almost
Daniel Danciu(7:57 PM):
i feel, really simple
Daniel Danciu(7:58 PM):
yes, tranquil
ClouD(7:58 PM):
the cool mist of the air he inhaled
ClouD(7:58 PM):
pressing the metal into his skin
ClouD(7:58 PM):
he pushed
ClouD(7:58 PM):
it didn't hurt so much now
ClouD(7:58 PM):
he felt it coming
ClouD(7:58 PM):
he continued up across the artery
Daniel Danciu(7:59 PM):
do you mind if i write with you in this?
ClouD(7:59 PM):
knowing he was already gone
ClouD(7:59 PM):
please do
Daniel Danciu(7:59 PM):
=D
Daniel Danciu(7:59 PM):
the feelings told him to avert, to drive away the pains
ClouD(7:59 PM):
please write, i like this
ClouD(8:00 PM):
:3
Daniel Danciu(8:00 PM):
avoid things, avoid the endings
Daniel Danciu(8:00 PM):
keep going, but not this
Daniel Danciu(8:00 PM):
pleasure, he loves it, but not the pains attached to the loss they bring
Daniel Danciu(8:00 PM):
he pulled the blade further, cutting through the flesh and boundaries of the artery
Daniel Danciu(8:00 PM):
the subtle sting, the decrease in pressure
ClouD(8:01 PM):
oh god i fucking love it
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
it began to flow stronger now
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
=]
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
out it came, out of his flesh
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
spilling, flowing, like a river of life onto the canvas of bleak existence
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
there's nothing more
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
he said to himself
Daniel Danciu(8:01 PM):
why speak? there's nothing more
Daniel Danciu(8:02 PM):
the red fluid of warmth and beginning came out faster
Daniel Danciu(8:02 PM):
cold began to spread
Daniel Danciu(8:02 PM):
he tugged the blade harder, feeling the frustration of incompletion arise
Daniel Danciu(8:02 PM):
chanting to himself 'there's nothing more' again and again
Daniel Danciu(8:02 PM):
pulling harder
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
cutting deeper
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
more flowed out
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
the pool of water was darker
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
redder
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
more and more mixed with blood
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
wasteful
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
nothing to waste
Daniel Danciu(8:03 PM):
the blade went through his flesh and left his body
Daniel Danciu(8:04 PM):
droplets trickling off the metal edge
Daniel Danciu(8:04 PM):
dropping into the murky pool
ClouD(8:04 PM):
he looked at it all, almost laughing
ClouD(8:05 PM):
-then an elf appeared- <- disregard
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
lul disregarded
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
smile
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
he could see
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
see it all
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
see nothing
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
blind, and full of aching
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
throbbing
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
it was coming out
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
he was coming out
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
the shell was withering
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
crying
Daniel Danciu(8:05 PM):
begging
Daniel Danciu(8:06 PM):
but he almost laughed
Daniel Danciu(8:06 PM):
held back by....fear
ClouD(8:06 PM):
sweeping waves of tensions dissapating into his chest
ClouD(8:07 PM):
sucking at him
ClouD(8:07 PM):
calling him home
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
why go?
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
dillydally a while
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
play with the razor's edges
ClouD(8:07 PM):
hahahahaha
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
=]
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
nothing to lose
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
nothing to gain
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
play all day
Daniel Danciu(8:07 PM):
and see what they say
ClouD(8:08 PM):
the sun broke the clouds
ClouD(8:08 PM):
waking to the tweeting birds
ClouD(8:09 PM):
unawares of the abnormality of this day
ClouD(8:09 PM):
stretching to move to the bathroom for another satisfying moment
ClouD(8:10 PM):
the door open with a cool draft sweeping the floor
Daniel Danciu(8:10 PM):
who was it?
ClouD(8:10 PM):
the mother
Daniel Danciu(8:10 PM):
the shrill came first
Daniel Danciu(8:10 PM):
the sudden intensity of the moment
Daniel Danciu(8:10 PM):
time, paused like a car crash
Daniel Danciu(8:10 PM):
collapse of the chest, eyes dialating
Daniel Danciu(8:11 PM):
eyes closing, rejecting the world before her
ClouD(8:11 PM):
engaging concept
Daniel Danciu(8:11 PM):
the heart pumped
Daniel Danciu(8:11 PM):
desiring motion
Daniel Danciu(8:11 PM):
desiring action
ClouD(8:12 PM):
the empty clawing at the unreachable
Daniel Danciu(8:12 PM):
pleading to fight the truth
Daniel Danciu(8:12 PM):
deny it, deny it all you want
Daniel Danciu(8:12 PM):
your son is gone
Daniel Danciu(8:12 PM):
fading
Daniel Danciu(8:12 PM):
cry all you want
Daniel Danciu(8:13 PM):
grab at his arms
Daniel Danciu(8:13 PM):
pull him close, feel his breath upon your skin
Daniel Danciu(8:13 PM):
his face upon your brest
Daniel Danciu(8:13 PM):
pleading to live
Daniel Danciu(8:13 PM):
pleading to be
ClouD(8:14 PM):
i don't like the idea of a conclusion
ClouD(8:14 PM):
so.
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
=]
ClouD(8:14 PM):
:D
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
<33
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
there is no ending
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
the threads break
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
from the cloth
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
the tapestry unfolds
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
and the threads go wherever they wish
Daniel Danciu(8:14 PM):
to forever
Daniel Danciu(8:15 PM):
to nowhere

**Kiza** · 02-09-2009 10:43 AM

What a pleasant ditty!

**Carôusoul** · 02-09-2009 11:22 AM

clicheeeeeee

**ClouD** · 02-09-2009 11:26 AM

The Boy is cliche.

Go feed your elephant a peanut.

**Carôusoul** · 02-09-2009 11:27 AM

hurhurhur

you're full of it today Jake.

EDIT: get a haircut, hippie.

**ClouD** · 02-09-2009 11:30 AM

Fine, go feed Sindred an elephant.

**[SomeGuy]** · 02-09-2009 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by ClouD

Fine, go feed Sindred an elephant.

He might enjoy that.

It was...beautiful. *sob*

**Siиdяed** · 02-09-2009 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by xXSomeGuyXx

He might enjoy that.

Explain yourself.

**Goldney** · 02-09-2009 07:53 PM

Originally Posted by Siиdяed

Explain yourself.

Sometimes words aren't necessary...

**Carôusoul** · 02-09-2009 07:55 PM

Fuck yeah!

**Goldney** · 02-09-2009 08:16 PM

Indeed.

**[SomeGuy]** · 02-09-2009 09:59 PM

Oh yeah. Always and forever.

**Techno** · 02-09-2009 10:01 PM

This story sucks.

**[SomeGuy]** · 02-09-2009 10:59 PM

So did your mom, last night.

**Xox** · 02-09-2009 11:46 PM

Keep on topic.

@ Cloud. This is. So many words. Two consciousnesses, combined. Flow.

I rofled at the elf thing. ;P

**Techno** · 02-10-2009 12:00 AM

But I'm the co-author. I'd prefer to critique my own work, damnit.

And I liked the elf thing too. So random, so beautiful.

EDIT: I'll critique my half only, then. :3

Thread: The Boy - A Suicide

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Display

The Boy - A Suicide

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions