Tell me the dumbest thing you've lied about?

[Oneironaught]

The theme of honesty and trust has been on my radar as of late and got me thinking about the topic. What are some of the dumbest things you've lied about in your life? I'll start: When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I was walking around the apartment complex where we lived in Maryland. The maintenance man had just painted the utility shed where he stored the lawn equipment, tools, etc... When I got back home my Mom was waiting for me and she was p!ssed, to say the least. "Did you mess up the paint on the utility shed?" she asked. "No", I said. "Don't lie to me!" she insisted. "I'm not lying, Mom." The maintenance man had come and told her that he saw me messing up his paint job and of course I denied it. She told me to go look in the mirror. Well, the blue paint all over my clothes, arms, hands, face, and other body parts told another story. I was caught "blue-handed". How could I have been so dumb as to think my Mom was that stupid?

[In My Own World]

I scratched my friend's car by accident on the side of a wall and told him it wasn't me. Then when he opened the driver's door, my phone was lying on the seat. Must have fell out my pocket >_<

[Lonewolf]

In 5th grade I didnt understand how to do the math so I didnt do any of the homework so I lied that I did turn it in so the teacher thought it must have gotten lost. I continued to lie that i did turn it in even though she never go it. She told me to hand it to her directly instead of in the basket, but i didnt do that. She still believed me i think. pshHh I also lied to someone in class recently that I only got one hour of sleep, which was just a stupid made up excuse since i didnt feel like doing work.

[Mes Tarrant]

When I was in about 4th or 5th grade, I was friends with this younger girl who lived next door... well I had slightly pointy ears back then, and I told her I was an undercover elf so she would let me play with all her stuff. She was really excited about this and wanted to tell her mom, but I told her that she had to keep this a secret because otherwise Santa wouldn't give her any presents that year. So instead she went and told her that she and I had a secret. Later I went back home. Now her mom was ridiculously nosy and wouldn't leave the poor girl alone until she revealed this secret. Later in the evening she calls my parents and tells them that her daughter has been crying all over the place and wouldn't reveal our secret, and basically the mom was creating a huge fuss over nothing... so I had to come clean and tell her I wasn't a friggin' elf!! Maaaaan... some people just need to relax. :p

[Oneironaught]

Mes, that's funny as hell. That reminds me of one I had going when I was probably 9 or 10 or so. My Mom was babysitting some kid and I had the kid believing that I had magic powers. I told him some crap about aliens that came to visit me and that they gave me powers to do all kinds of crap. I forget the specific powers I claimed to have but, I had that poor kid going for a few weeks. What really convinced him was when I took a deck of playing cards and had him pick one. I just randomly guessed queen of hearts (I still remember that because I amazed myself) and it was the Queen of Hearts that he had chosen. It was just a completely blind guess but I was right. It was probably the fact that I loved the dumb Juice Newton song "Queen of Hearts" that made me guess that card. I figured if I guessed wrong then I'd make up some story about how he did something wrong that screwed up my ability to "see" his card. Actually, I think that's what started the whole thing to begin with. I was a really good nice kid but I did have my naughty side. I'm very honest now. Really. Seriously. I'm not lying. Stop looking at me like that.

[wasup]

HAHAHA that is great mes

[pj]

Interesting thread. Being an AA guy, brutal honesty is now a way of life for me, as my sobriety hinges on it. But man, did I do my share of lying before getting sober. One that comes to mind is when I blew the back end out of my dad's '68 Chevy with the 427 in it doing hole shots. "I don't know how it happened... it just broke." What an idiot I was.

[Moonbeam]

Gh, yours reminds me of a trick I played on my niece. When she was about 4, I had a car that had radio controls on the steering wheel, and I convinced her that she could change the radio with her mind by staring at it and concentrating on it. Meanwhile, I changed it but she couldn't see me doing it. She really thought that she could control the radio with the power of her mind.

[joey11223]

well this isn't dumb but it's hella funny!:p When i was 12 me and a friend( who was already 6"1, lol giant) had to look after another friends lil sister(around 7) at my house. So we go into the garden and take loads of thin wooden boards tthat were laying around at the back. We walk up to her and smash them over our heads, since they were quite thin they hurt but not alot and cracked in half pretty easily. Lol we managed to scare her into thinking we were zombies or something because we felt no pain and walked all zombie-ish( is that a walking type), lol hilarious:p. Oh i know one, around two years ago i asked my friend to come round because i had to smash up a load of stuff like my slide so it would fit in our car. Anyway we are hurling huge rocks at it and one of them hits the slide and bounces up quite high. It lands smack on the ground and the vibration of its impact makes oneof the small windows in my shed fall in. I told my mum the wind did it, LMAO, she still believe it now:p.

[Vex Kitten]

I used to say I was either a lesbian or a guy in drag so guys would quit hitting on me at bars. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't.

[Daeva]

I used to say I was either a lesbian or a guy in drag so guys would quit hitting on me at bars. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. Your not a guy in drag? I knew it!

[Vex Kitten]

Hahaha. Oops. Did I use that line on you too? I bet that's the only thing that attracted you to me, isn't it? :p

[Clairity]

I told my mum the wind did it, LMAO, she still believe it now :p. .. "Yes.. hello.. is this Joe's mom?" .

[Clairity]

I used to say I was either a lesbian or a guy in drag so guys would quit hitting on me at bars. That's what you get for being so darn attractive! .

[Amethyst Star]

When I was in about 4th or 5th grade, I was friends with this younger girl who lived next door... well I had slightly pointy ears back then, and I told her I was an undercover elf so she would let me play with all her stuff. need to relax. :p Oh, that story hits close to home, but that will remained locked in "The Vault" as I call it. I'd have to say the stupidest lie I ever told was in 4th or 5th grade (I'm noticing a pattern). There was a kid that I didn't care for much, so I kind of picked on him. I honestly don't even know why. Power trip? Who knows. Anyway, one time at recess I, for some reason, began to twist his arm until he cried out in pain. Naturally I got into trouble and when the teacher asked me why I twisted his arm, here was my response: "I only meant to twist it once." Um, I didn't get in too much trouble, but looking back on that I just have to think to myself, That's the dumbest thing I've ever said. I was a good girl, to be honest, but looking back, I did have a few moments where I was just really mean. It's wierd to remember some of this stuff, though. Mostly I stuck to myself. There was another time when I elbowed this kid in the back who was in front of me drinking from the drinking fountain. And it wasn't light... and I was not a small girl. (I didn't get caught for that...) Anyway, I think that as we grow up, many people don't stop lying, but they learn how to lie. I hate lying, personally... though sometimes I'll lie to myself, just for kicks and giggles... right?

[Clairity]

Wow.. I just remembered this! When I was in elementary school I had a best friend (bf) and I felt that she was starting to like another girl better than me. So I told my bf that this other girl had said all this horrible stuff about her and about her mother. I also told her not to tell the other girl I had told her.. as I had promised the other girl I wouldn't. Well the lies worked for a while.. until one day I came out of school and I saw the two of them talking. When they looked over at me.. I knew that the truth was out and I was screwed. When my now "ex" bf calmly walked up to me and asked me why I lied.. I said that I was afraid of losing her as a friend. She just looked at me and walked away. .

[dodobird]

When I was about 7 I told my friend that I'm in contact with alian monsters that came in space-ships that landed by my house. He was skeptical and asked me to show him where the space-ships are, so I told him that they ordered me to reveil the space-ships only when we become 13 years old. For a while I was worried that he'll remember and come and ask me when we are 13, but luckily we moved to another neighborhood.

[joey11223]

Amethyst you was a meany, i always imagined you as a nice person! You was t3h evil one!!!:p But that reminds me of something i did when i was 11. I was in school and this dumb 7yrold girl kept annoying me how lil kids do, like running around you in circles and poking you then running off. Anyway i kept telling her to leave me alone but she just thoguht it was funny. Because i was never aggresive i went to her teacher and told her that the girl wasn't leaving me alone. Obviously because i was the older one i was told that it wasn't her fault and i should be grown up(WTF), but i took her advice anyway, grown up people arn't as nice when they get pissed off. So she annoyed me a few more times then i decided i;d had enough. I grabbed her arm, which felt so weak, like i could just snap it without thinking. I was actually quite a power rush. I walked her until she almost hit the brick wall and said " If you touch me again, your going through it". Obvoously she went to the teacher exaggerated it and told her and hit her and stuff. Teacher told me off bad, i made it worse by telling her " I just did what you said miss, you wouldn't stop her, so i was mature and stopped her myself, wheres the problem?", she told me that id been a bully but she didnt actually do anything else, i think she was very suprised i;d done it cos i was usually such a cuddly person.

[dodobird]

Amethyst you was a meany, i always imagined you as a nice person! You was t3h evil one!!!:p But that reminds me of something i did when i was 11. I was in school and this dumb 7yrold girl kept annoying me how lil kids do, like running around you in circles and poking you then running off. Anyway i kept telling her to leave me alone but she just thoguht it was funny. Because i was never aggresive i went to her teacher and told her that the girl wasn't leaving me alone. Obviously because i was the older one i was told that it wasn't her fault and i should be grown up(WTF), but i took her advice anyway, grown up people arn't as nice when they get pissed off. So she annoyed me a few more times then i decided i;d had enough. I grabbed her arm, which felt so weak, like i could just snap it without thinking. I was actually quite a power rush. I walked her until she almost hit the brick wall and said " If you touch me again, your going through it". Obvoously she went to the teacher exaggerated it and told her and hit her and stuff. Teacher told me off bad, i made it worse by telling her " I just did what you said miss, you wouldn't stop her, so i was mature and stopped her myself, wheres the problem?", she told me that id been a bully but she didnt actually do anything else, i think she was very suprised i;d done it cos i was usually such a cuddly person. Ha ha! "If you touch me again, your going through it". Thats a good line for an action film.

[joey11223]

lol it sounds it, i get serious when im angry, that was the first time i got angry in my life, stuoid girl made me evil.:p Nah she didn't, i'll tell you what has made me judgemental and sometimes mean. When one of my good friend at the beginning of yr10( so 14) took the piss out of my mum for having cancer for the whole lesson... like " lol joe your mums only got one boob now!" or " Lmao she should have her other boob centred and be cyclopse women" or " Bet she cant feed no babies no more" and many many more for the whole lesson... i was sooo suprised i couldn't do anything back, luckily that feeling subsided by the next lesson and i got up quietly in the middle of the lesson, went up to his chair when he was busy working, shoved him over and rammed his head with my hands into the back of it a few times. I was thinking of kicking him a few times but that would get me into trouble:p. Teacher didn't do anything about it, i just sat back down and she seemed suprised. Later my friend apologised though he went " Im sorry joe yeah, but lols cyclopes boob", told him to " Fuck off you sick shit, i hope you get cancer and i hope it hurts, i hope you cry in pain with it every day!". In a way, though its horribly cruel, i wish his mum got breast cancer, then he'd know it isnt something to joke about. Though i couldn't wish that on her, so he should get it, then he'd see how "funny" it is!

[joey11223]

DAMN IM PISSED again, this was like one and a half years agho but everytime i bring it up in detail i get really angry!

[Oneironaught]

DAMN IM PISSED again, this was like one and a half years agho but everytime i bring it up in detail i get really angry! It's OK, Joe. I don't need to tell you that kids can be very cruel sometimes. At least you gave him what he deserved - a little taste of pain. There's really no good way to handle a situation like that except to either ignore them or have some sort of comeback like, perhaps: "She warned you that she'd have her boob chopped off if you didn't stop putting d!cks in your @ss. I guess the penises are just too much for you to resist, huh?" You see where I'm going with that. Try turning the insults around on them. That'll be worse on him (than punching) in the long run and you can get other people joining in on your side and he'll feel over-powered. But, honestly, you'll do best to not let the words of jerks hurt you so much even though your Mom's anguish is certainly painful - for her and everyone close to her, including you.

[Clairity]

Joe.. kids.. well kids can basically suck! How is your mom doing? .

[Goldney]

Wow, your friend crossed a line. Why would you make fun of someone's mum for having cancer? I hope that he still remembers that with guilt.

[joey11223]

Shes ok now, she didnt have to have chemo just radiotherapy and a partial(though large) mastectomy. Though they put silicon implants in anyway so it's not like anyone knows or anything. She just has to go back every year to check, also recently she had a skin graphs and some minor surgery to make an artificial nipple. Yeah maybe i should, i didnt really hurt him though, it just suprised him. When he gets in a show of mood he doesnt care about other people, he gets to hyper and just says what ever for attention, even though this time nobody was listening. Unfortunatly he seems to have people brainwashed, like he can do no wrong. So i didnt really get support. I doubt he remembers, things like that arn;t improtant to him. Now a year later people have all noticed how annoying he can be, so sometimes theres a few secret discussions about how much of an ass he is.:p