Thread: Tell me how to handle rude people.

Alrighty, so I'm currently in Russia and one of the differences between here and the States is that here, cashiers and all people like those who have to deal with customers have next to zero patience and are very easily angered. In the States, it's common knowledge that cashiers get abused by customers. But here in Russia (and plenty of other countries as well), it is the other way around. Cashiers abuse customers all the time.

All my life I have been a very sensitive person. It runs in the family, really. My mom is the same, and her mom was the same. I honestly cannot handle a stranger yelling at me/being rude to me. It's actually quite a huge flaw because it makes me nervous about getting a full time job and having some jerk for a boss. So far my bosses have been pretty nice, but these have been part-time jobs...

Anyhoo, so I'm just wondering, what is a good way to deal with someone who is rude to you? Somebody's raised voice actually ruins my whole day. I've had to get a new passport here in Russia and have had to go to a bunch of different places and talk with a bunch of different people, and finally I was so fed up with everyone (all women, btw) having such terrible tempers that I burst into tears at the entrance of another passport-related building. I had to have my mom go in there with me. I'm 21 and too old for this!

My old job, before I moved upwards was a Senior Consultant, and being senior I had to deal with all sorts of complaints. I tend to find the easiest way to deal with it is to the the person shout and scream and vent their frustration at me, not interupting, letting them get on with it. When They are finished, look at them, if in person, or if on the phone you cant, but leave a 5 second silence, then calmly talk back. Generally I find letting people blow off steam first then talking to them calmly will mean they are often calm back...

But if they are not I give as good as I get, but that doesn't help much does it...

Anyways << thats for the people who made you cry !!! And this is for you Enjoy the rest of your day, I am off to Wembley to watch England v Germany

I like to "kill them with kindess." Smile, complement them - make it a personal challenge to either make them smile or embarrass them by treating them so good that their behavior looks like mole dung in comparison.

See, and no one believes me when I call this place a rotting hell hole. >.<

The only thing I can suggest, since you aren't the kind of person to take an aggressive approach, is to be patient. Rude people get what they deserve eventually. If you aren't able to match their egocentric character, just think about what will happen to them when they come across someone with an even worse temper than they have, hahah.

P.S. Take me with you when you go back.

Hehehe, "mole dung." :p

Thanks for the comments. Really I just need to toughen up (what a sucky world). Or just always deal with men instead of women since they will think twice before being rude.

Edit: Oh didn't see your post at first, Lucid. You have a good point there actually about wasting more of their precious time by pointing out that they are being rude. I promise myself I will toughen up. I'll try to use some LDs as practice. It's just that I dont understand how it is possible to be rude to a stranger... but that's the way I was brought up, ya know?

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

Hehehe, "mole dung." :p

Thanks for the comments. Really I just need to toughen up (what a sucky world). Or just always deal with men instead of women since they will think twice before being rude.

Thats the spirit Mes, why should you take any of their crap and put up with it? Show them that Mes doesn't go down without a fight (not a real fight!)

Hey Mes,

Well, rude people like to think they have a power over you, they are rude and try to hurry you along just to benefit themselves. Now a good way to deal with them is to call them on it. If they are rude towards you you can say to them "excuse me, why are you being rude towards me?" and this wastes their time a bit more because they then have to continue talking to you, then politely say "there was no need to be so rude towards me, i was polite, maybe you should be too" and i think that if they don't apologize after that you should keep on at them. Or you could even go into a full tantrum at them and show them up so they say sorry. Its horrible that people can be so rude and it can be hard if your a sensitive person, but the fact is that they should treat you with the same respect that you treat them with. You basically have two options when it comes to these people, you can either get your own back on them by politely complaining to the manager about it after taking the abuse. But thats not the most attractive and quick option, you should know that there are rude people in this world and its their problem, not yours, don't let it get to you, and if you feel asthough you have a good argument against them then you should point it out and say that you are unhappy about it, if its a supermarket you could even say "I am not accepting being treated like that" and as you walk off say that you are seeing the manager, these people need to be put in line, they can't be so rude towards customers due to their own problems. You should point it out and show them that you are offended, make them feel bad, and if they don't say sorry just take it to the manager

But if you want an easier option you could just try to ignore these rude people, they will say and be nasty to you but at the end of the day its up to you whether or not it bothers you, if you cannot stop it bothering you then you can just stand up for yourself and show them who's in the right.

I hope things are okay, i actually had a similar problem with people being rude to me, i recently went into the city with my friends to see a film and me being me i took my friends glasses off and tried them on on the train, then this drunk guy came by and said "let me wear those fucking glasses now" and i gave them back to my mate and said to him "get your act together, theres a policeman down there" and he believed me and hid in the toilets lol!

Anyways i'm sure you can do it Mes! Just show them how unimportant they are to you