Aggrivation, agitation, frustration

[moonage daydream]

I first discovered the lucid dreaming concept when I was 15...15 years ago. I found that if I let myself go through the deep REM sleep and then wake up in the middle of the night or early morning, I am more likely to feel myself fall asleep through the sleep paralysis state and, therefore, become lucid. Sometimes I could gain control, other times not. I ended up not really being into it for a while but could catch lucidity whenever possible. Last year, I got motivated to get back into it and I gained control only once...that was in the early morning of July 29th, 2006. From then up to now, my dreams have been total retarded pieces of crap, literally in some shit headed dreams (LOL). Every once in a while, if I'm lucky, I can attain lucidity through early morning sleep paralysis, but I can't get control...I've even got pissed off in the dream as I was aware of dreaming!!! I even play my mp3 player with my head phones all night to try and become lucid! I just snooze right through it while my brain is crapping out fragments shit which are abstracts of past and present physical life garbage that I really don't give a rat's ass about! I've asked myself through out the day "am I dreaming?" and I've told myself "if I were dreaming, I would do x,y, and z (replaced those with what I would really do, of course). I can't turn on the light to write in a journal, it will wake my fiance up. I can recall dreams, no problem. My guess is that this lack of luck of control, if you will, is due to my living situation. My fiance and I are stuck living and sleeping in a basement with no windows. The house has people and kids who are very loud and ignorant. They have the damn T.V. on constantly with stupid shows and commercials going really loud. I guess I'm wanting to attain lucidity and control to escape the lack of control in my physical ..um...life(?) while I'm working to try and get us out of here. My job as a caregiver isn't really that stressful...just more annoying when the girls in the office call my cell phone all the time. I can't take this...I don't know what to do...it's as if my physical surrounding environment is retarded and my brain just wants to record the retardation around me, bypass my primary dream desire and goals, and regurgitate it back at me in my sleep, no matter how much I try to meditate and quiet my mind down...it's as if it doesn't want to shut up! I swear, when we get out of here, we're going to move out in the middle of no where so that we don't have to deal with a bunch of people in one place anymore! OMG! I feel that we're trapped in the Matrix without the wake up pill!! UGH!!! So, anyway, does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? Yes, I know, get the hell out of the basement... be patient...don't get agitated, etc. Anything else? Please help...thank you

[Redrivertears]

Hey there, This is just my opinion, but if you were to ask me: Quote: "I even play my mp3 player with my head phones all night to try and become lucid! I just snooze right through it while my brain is crapping out fragments shit which are abstracts of past and present physical life garbage that I really don't give a rat's ass about!" This is your problem right here. In my personal experience, lucid dreaming simply does not work if you disconnect it from your normal dreaming. What I mean to say is, if you do not take an active interest in your dreams in general, in the entirety of your dreaming life, you won't get much luck with lucid dreams neither. That's one of the reasons why keeping a dream journal is so important, if you ask me. Not simply because it helps with recall, most lucid dreams are easy enough to recall without needing to write down all your dreams. But keeping a dream journal makes you more aware of your dreams in general, makes you pay attention to it, makes you take an active interest in your dreaming life. To give you an analogy, think about sports. Any sort of physical sport has several compenents to it. Speed, constitution, dexterity. If you focus soley on the technique, and don't work on improving the basics, you get nowhere. You might know all the techniques for playing tennis, how to hold your racket, how to curve the ball, how to serve. But if you're out of breath after one game, you won't ever last a match, and you'll never get to experience what it's like to really play tennis. Same with lucid dreaming, in my opinion. You need to expand your attention to encompass all of your dreams. What are you dreaming about? What sort of dream elements occur a lot in your dreams? Are you often frustrated, angry, sad, scared in your dreams? If you can, try to figure out what your dreams mean. Do that, and I think your lucid dreaming will return. But you can't build a house without laying the foundation first. Just my 2 cents, -Redrivertears-

[phoenelai]

I understand your frustrated about your situation. But you needs to stay positive and focused about your dreams. Use any method necessary to relax yourself, music, mind machines, meditation. Find any sort of ZEN state to get relaxed and push forward on your dreaming. The use of external aids has been given to us, use them best you can so you can focus. I think Buddah would wear a walkman if it brought him to a zen state!

[moonage daydream]

Thank you for the advice What you said helped me out quite a bit. I will start keeping a dream journal...just as soon as I clear space by my bed, find a tablet or by one on sale, and find or by a flashlight on sale! I'm trying to figure out how to do this without waking my fiance up!LOL I, actually did become lucid the other night...in the dream, I was flying about in our room and I noticed that there were soft whitish feathers appeared in boa like strands on the ceiling and my posters of people were a bit warped a grew feather beards!!! I looked at myself in my full length mirror and I had a feather beard growing on me, too!!! The only thing I can make of this is my room is a terrible shit mess and I haven't washed our bed sheets in ages!! LOL

[moonage daydream]

Thank you I'm trying...I guess I need to not get so upset. I am starting to have some luck, though. My fiance just got me this big red soft pillow and, I think it's helping me with my sleep/wake stage after I wake up from the deeper sleep Tonight, I think I will give the mp3 player another try BTW, you must have read "Would the Buddah wear a Walkman", I read that very same book 15 years ago and that's how I heard of this

[Redrivertears]

Hey there, Congratulations, happy to hear things are going better for you again! -Redrivertears-