Hirondelle

Let's look at it from the bright side, yesterday I had nothing, nada, zero

Today there's a fragment:

I have to write things on small notes, and we're all sitting in squares, my dad is involved again

Woke up at 5.10, not remembering a dream. I stayed up for 35 minutes but when I went back to bed I felt it was useless to go for a WILD, I turned to my side, used a mantra about remembering my dreams and fell asleep. At the 7.10 alarm I remembered nothing, still wasn't motivated for a WBTB and slept some more. Woke up at 8.50:

This is not about you
My dad called me (he doesn't live in the same country as I do) and told me how he'd had a letter/message of a friend of mine (he didn't say who). He was very worried about it. I asked him to tell me more, because I can't really help when the information is that vague. He told me that my friend had described the problems he has with his wife and how this was all quite problematic for him (my dad). I insisted... what do you mean... how is this a problem for you? In the meantime I was also wondering why my friend would tell my dad about this, how did he manage to find out where my dad lives?
We weren't on the phone anymore by now, we were walking in between big greenhouses. I was getting angry with my dad, why can't he just be straightforward and say what is on his mind, and .... how could he be so egocentric thinking this was about him? It finally came out: Because my friend told my dad about his marriage problems, my dad thought that I was having an affair (with my friend)! And that would be very difficult for him. Steam was coming out of my ears! I'm not having an affair, I'll never leave my husband, my friend has big problems and has a really difficult time, why do you always think that you are the victim... this is not about you!!!!
I woke up feeling angry.

I was really tired last night, for no special reason. I tried to read while my husband was watching a soccer match, but I kept dosing off. Went to bed at 21.45!

Woke up at 3.20 with a fragment on my mind. Maybe it wasn't even a dream fragment, but that would make it a really strange thought, so I'm going to count it as a fragment.

Fragment 1: All my dreams from the period of sleep that I just woke from were on a wooden cutting board. I tilted it and with my big knife I pushed them off, straight into my DJ…

I went straight back to sleep, too tired to do a WBTB and woke up at 6.15 remembering:

The bishop
My father, mother, me and ? arrive by bike at a big sports hall. Apparently we'll be visiting the celebration of a jubilee of an African bishop in there. We put our bikes in the designated outside area for bikes. Once inside the hall I take part in a workshop for "upcycling" (making something new and better out off used garments) clothes. I make myself a wide cream coloured, two layered top with a dark brown edge along the neckline. When I'm ready I start looking for my father and mother. I push through the crowd, some people recognize me and compliment me on my blouse. Proudly I tell them that I made it myself, without a pattern, just like that. A young woman thinks it's too big. I shrug my shoulders. What do you want, first time ever, without help…
I want to leave and find out that my parents have already left. I wonder if they would have left my bike there. There are a lot of bikes there but I don't recognize mine. I grab a ladies bike that is not locked and cycle of to the right, into town. After going for a while I decide that it's not right and I return to where I came from. I put the bike back, next to a woman (who looks like Marion that I met in the village last Sunday morning) is putting hers away. The two bikes lean against each other and she says; "Be careful now, don't touch them anymore". Together we walk towards the buildings. "To go to Brandons you have to go straight here and turn right later on" she says, pointing at the apartment buildings far away. "That's not where I'm going" I say to her and go in the direction of the sports hall. "Oh", she says "for Randen it's in there". I think she's full of nonsense and go inside. I move through the crowd until I find a group that includes my aunt Nelly and her daughter Anita. I talk to them for a bit until I see my dad. He's carrying a cotton bag and takes out a pair of pink pants so that I can get changed. I tell him that I want to say goodbye to the bishop before we go. The bishop is a big black man. He's "dressed" in a shiny, wooden case, only his head sticks out. It's a bit like a coffin, but the form is more rounded. He's standing up, watching a movie (?) that's being projected on a screen. There is a big case filled with boxes that contain parts of the movie. I guess that this is the present he's had. I say goodbye to him. He says that he's very happy that I came and he puts his hand on my head as a blessing gesture.

When I wake up next at 8.30 I remember 3 fragments, of which two are from the same dream:

Fragment 2: Don't do that….. I'm sure you will not be able to get all of it back!

Fragment 3: My dad, his wife, me, my husband and our youngest son are in a room together. My son is sitting in the corner of a sofa and preparing himself a smoke. I say to my husband, "The boy is only 15, are you okay with that?" He shrugs his shoulders. I'm angry, I grab my stuff and leave. I'm annoyed with myself, I've got nowhere to go, I haven't got the key to the car, or our house. I should have tried to find a solution instead of running off.

Fragment 4: My dad's wife is not feeling well. I want to leave and that's what I do. Just a bit later I see my dad and his wife following me. He's sort of dragging her along because she's feeling really bad. When they get to where I am my dad starts climbing on top of something and she lies down on the side of the road. I say to her that I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to do this to her, she could have stayed at home.