Sailing the Noosphere

1. Some sort of cartoon/live action switch thing is going on in this fragment. It takes place in a world where our superheroes are revered as vengeful and fearsome gods. Batman, with the epithet "Scientific," can swoop from anywhere to show his wrath. Superman's X-ray vision can see anywhere to reveal embarrassment and sin. The Green Lantern is a trickster god; he is shown using his powers to unwillingly jack off men at unfortunate times.

2. I'm watching Futurama. Fry is on the run for some sort of debt (notes unintelligible). He is without transportation, so the going is slow. At one point he comes across a dragon pulling a rickshaw, but the dragon is high on drugs so Fry continues on foot.

3. I play bass in a School of Rock style concert, closing with ACDC's Shoot to Thrill (sounds fantastic). Backstage, Dan C from high school shakes my hand and a number of teachers congratulate me. The teachers are talking not only of the show, but also of the insurance scam they are pulling. By burning their houses, they've made enough money to take luxurious vacations!

1. I'm at a football stadium in the desert. The Cincinnati Bengals are playing a game against an unspecified team, and I'm on the field as a Bengal's lineman pushing against the enemy offense. I actually do an OK job, and as the downs progress I get teammate support in a kind of military, "Hoo-ah!" way

2. I'm watching what seems to be a fight scene from an X-Men comic or movie taking place in a desert. The choreography is stunning, as is the skill of the mutants. The fight ends with Jean Grey drawing all the combatants towards her in a massive display of psychic power, then throwing them apart in a sphere of blue light. The Silver Surfer rides by, quipping, "And I thought I was overpowered!"

A number of circumstances have affected my recall and ability to post for the past week. But in any case:

1. A weird alternating dream; it began with scenes from an imagined Star Wars Family Guy. I remember a particular scene where Lois, toting a rifle, swung it about the cantina saying in a cutesy voice "Who's the murderer?" However, whenever a lightsaber cut was made, it seemed to cut through the animation. Through the hole would enter tentacles, as if from a Lovecraftian horror. It was like an oozing fungus, and as it consumed and grew I became physically ill. This change of scenes happened a couple of times before I woke up, breathing heavily.

2. In my grade school cafeteria, I'm playing blackjack. The cards aren't falling my way, and so I leave and go upstairs. I find myself upon opening a door in my own room. Soon V and J enter; V has a new haircut, but all the two can talk about is my own egregious bed head.

3. A huge earthquake breaks apart the continents, leaving much technology preserved but social and political lines in chaos.

4. I run parkour-style through a massive prefab house facility, only to find my research group seated in the middle in an already-assembled house. They are nonplussed and continue to play poker.

The dream begins in an animated style, borrowing from the Arthur cartoons on PBS. Arthur has just moved to a new city and joined a swim team, but he just lost his swim shoes in the water filtration system. A maintenance man digs for them in the machinery, but he just can't find them. Arthur runs from the swim club in anger, exclaiming that "It's only been four days!" since he moved into the town.

As he leaves, the dream switches into live action and first-person, and I view a large and bustling cityscape. Streetcars full of people pass by; along their tops are emblazoned the names of famous authors (Marcel Proust, for example) and my friends (text, so YET ANOTHER failed RC). I excitedly hit the streets and head to a nearby cafe. When I stand in line, however, I realize that all the signs are in a foreign script and all the patrons speaking a foreign tongue. Unnerved, I head back onto the street, and in a daze wander to a market. A smog descends on the dream, and I recall exotic (but pleasant) smells from the stalls and headscarf-clad shoppers.

Luckily, I find my mom also in the market. She clarifies that I'm in the country of Turkey and reunites me with my brother and dad. She also seems to have an excellent grasp of Islamic law, for as we're about to enter a shop where we can see women, she holds us back and goes in first to make sure it's alright. She encourages the family to "act Canadian" and respect their customs (a behavior not at all like real life).

1. I'm attending some sort of video game expo, watching a high-production pitch for a game that seems sort of a cross between Metal Gear Solid and Grand Theft Auto. During the demo, one of the military showpieces breaks. The presenter gets angry and shouts, "We'll make a fucking car!" A sports car proceeds to unfold from the wreckage of that showpiece.

2. I attend a showing of the movie "Beat It," a cartoon parody of Michael Jackson's life starring Wayland Smithers of the Simpsons in the main role.

3. I am taking part in the chorus of an opera, a modern-day production about the pirates of Africa. The pirate queen is making her grand entrance, cuing a major dance scene; I screw up my footwork, and although my fellows try to accommodate me, eventually the whole number turns to shit.

4. I'm walking around in Paris, France, when I see two men leave a nondescript building. I go to check it out, and find that the building is both unlocked and the French atomic research center. I do parkour down the stairwells of the building to find a top-secret biology paper (something about genetics, and text so a failed RC) lying about. I leave without incident and take the paper back to my rural research station, showing it to my professor K. (who reacts in IRL character).

1. I'm reading a comic targeted at bass players, in some world where music is much more prevalent than it is here. Tabs are printed in comics like the one I'm reading, and the lessons show different famous groups' interpretations of the same song (Thelonious Monk's ensemble, as an example). The other page of the comic has parody scenes of real world comics, including a Peanuts parody in which Snoopy is preparing for anal sex. There are words printed, so I fail that reality check chance.

2. I see, in sequence, two car accidents. The first is horrible and flaming, but the only other spectators are a car of punk kids wearing sunglasses at night. They deem the chaos "awesome," and their dad, driving in the front seat, cries behind his own sunglasses. Secondly, I come across another flaming crash. This time, I go to help, but the passengers (all women) are unhurt and manage to walk out easily, disdaining my efforts to help.