Sailing the Noosphere

1. I'm on a road trip in the family car. We're on a bumpy path through a forest when I realize I really need to piss. I get out of the car, find a clearing with plenty of rocks and relieve myself. As I do so, the scene seamlessly transitions into a house. When I finish up, I realize that the house is full of sorority girls who are studying hard, and mortified I run out of the building onto the porch. I'm ready to find the car and leave when suddenly they all run out of the house, dressed only in towels. Some say as they pass, "He's cute!," others, "He's weird!" They gather some distance away, and soon a group of frat guys gather and start to do comedy routines.

2. I'm in a drive-though market, where one can pull up to stalls selling expensive deli sandwiches.

3. President Obama thinks it is his last to live and goes about accordingly, kissing random girls and enlisting passerby into a spontaneous, show-stopping musical number.

4. While at an orchestra practice, I notice a beautiful but disdainful blonde violinist across the room. I know that I will never see her again, so after practice I go to exchange a word or two. I am not at all put off or scared by her as we talk.

I'm going through what I feel is the Catholic ceremony of Confirmation at my old high school, but it is nothing like the actual event. Instead, each candidate and his or her sponsor walks together to the altar, where the sponsor presents a large wooden cross to the candidate. A preparatory sacrament of communion is also performed with great importance. The line to do the ceremony snakes around and out of the chapel proper, up and down a flight of stairs. I'm behind my old high school classmate K.C., who is complaining about the wait. The line doesn't move for some time, then suddenly lurches forward. My mom and brother are in the pews watching me; I let other classmates like J.V. go ahead so I can talk with my family. I notice that my brother's head is in a microwave, which does strike me as odd. I then loop through the line, debating whether I'll get communion or not. I get my wooden cross from college professor Dr. R., then end up getting the host from my own mom and feel guilty about it. Apparently she also feels guilty, varying the usual formula with "I don't believe this is the body of Christ."