Bambrielle

(2/18/14)

The woods are quiet this deep in and the log cabin we've set up to film in couldn't be any more tiny and rickety. I think its mildly cliche, but what's a good horror movie without its cliches? The director shouts "Action!" and I'm about to deliver my first line when an ear-piercing scream interrupts me. As cliche as that is, it wasn't written in. The next thing I know, Zombies are flooding the set and Chris Pine and I are struggling to escape the tiny, rickety, death trap in an effort to preserve our lives. Chris Pine sprints toward his motorcycle and I sprint after him because he's Chris Pine and if I'm going to die I want it to be in his arms. We reach the bike, he pulls on his helmet and hands me another which I hastily strap under my chin as he starts the bike. I manage to grab his leather jacket just as he takes off and we're speeding down the road. Behind us, a few of the set crew have made it to their cars as well and I notice a blue mini-van and a black SUV following us down the curvy forest road.

We drive for no more than 3 minutes before we come to a downed tree in the road. There's no way around. Chris Pine leaps off the bike, throws off his helmet and disappears into the tree line. I know where he's going because I can hear it too and I'm right on his heels as we surge toward the sound of water in hopes that its something we can swim across (because everyone knows Zombies can't swim). Breaking through the tree line we both stop short as a vast expanse of ocean stares back at us from the edge of a rocky beach. The rocks on this beach are huge, like boulders, and the water halfway up on all sides. We can't swim across the ocean, but we can't stay here either because the Zombies are right behind us, so as the others from the set crew stumble out of the trees, Chris Pine and I start leaping across rocks.

Being much taller and in much better shape than all of us, Chris Pine spurs into the boulder-leaping lead and we all follow suit. Young and agile, Chris Pine and I manage to make good time, but some of the older folks in the group start to fall behind. I don't want to leave them, it seems too heartless, and Chris Pine is too far ahead to notice whats happening so I call out to him, "Chris!" He stops and turns around, to my relief, and his eyes widen as he sees how much the others are struggling. I can see him trying to come up with a plan then and there and, in that moment I wonder if, when he plays Captain Kirk, he is actually acting or just being Chris Pine. Then he's leaping back across boulders to help a heavier woman scramble up the slick rock face and farther back I can see the Zombies begin flooding from the treeline not 500 meters away. "Amy!" Chris Pine is trying to get my attention and, as I turn back to look at him again, I wonder to myself why he his calling me Amy instead of by my name. Maybe he misheard me when I said it. I occurs to me that Amy is the name of my ostracized Aunt and I hope to myself this isn't Fate's way of being symbolic. Then I remember he's calling me Amy because that was my character's name in the movie we were shooting before this all went down.

My name was Amy, and his name was Vlad. I consider for a moment calling him Vlad, as he is calling me Amy, but discard the idea as it seems more natural to call him Chris because he really does look like a Chris. This, of course, all passes through my mind in a matter of seconds, and just as I am about to leap back to help Chris Pine help the woman, I freeze, Chris Pine stiffens, and the woman's eyes go wide in horror as a man farther up the beach bank and closer to the tree line gets devoured by a Zombie.