Duality

I feel it only logical to proceed in chronological order here, so I will begin with the first lucid dream I remember having. I believe I was seven years old at the time.

Although I did not know what the word "lucid" meant at the time, I was evidently innately capable of lucid dreaming. Over several months of the year 1996, I had noticed a pattern to my dreams; I had never looked down to see what I was wearing.

So, I decided to perform an experiment. I resolved that the next time I found myself in a dream, the first thing I would do would be to look down and see what color my shirt was.

My tendency at the time was to sleep with my clothes on. Don't ask me why; I don't know. I still often nap with my clothes on, as it causes me no significant amount of discomfort. This particular night was no exception.

I entered my dream world. I was standing in my room; nothing spectacular happening. I'm not entirely sure how I recognized that I was dreaming, but I did. I started to look down, but I felt a force pressing against my chin, resisting my movement. I was resolute. I forced my chin down, overcoming this bizarre force, and noted that my shirt was the same as the one I had fallen asleep in: blue, with yellow and green stripes.

The instant I saw my shirt, I woke up. It was as though I was somehow forbidden from controlling my own dream.

For the next several years, the ability to control my dreams was put out of my mind. Another couple years passed before I decided to give lucid dreaming another go.