effortless

I "awaken" in the dream on a plane, first class. I am in the aisle seat, the window seat next to me is empty. I am reading one of my favorite books which is unique for having a blank cover.

I can tell at least a year has passed from the last chapter, I feel my dream self has seen all of the United States I have wanted to see, and am now trying to travel elsewhere, starting with Europe.

I hear a man clear his throat, and realize that my row is not empty. He is sitting in the aisle seat across from me. I do not look up, and continue reading.

After some time passes, he finally speaks. "Excuse me, I couldn't help notice your book...what is the name of it?"

I look up and see the man clearly for the first time, meeting his gaze. Crisp white dress shirt unbuttoned at the neck, plain black suit pants. Short peppered gray hair and tanned skin. He is considerably older than me, by around twenty years, but I still notice I am attracted to him.

I recognize him as a famous actor, but I don't let on, instead focusing on the nature of his question.

The corners of my mouth upturn into a smirk. "It doesn't have a title..that's why the cover is blank." I try to smile politely and look back down at my book and continue reading.

The man looks after me quizzically, shifting in his seat to question me again. "Wait, I'm sorry. It doesn't have a title? Then who's the author?"

I look up again, still smiling, trying hard to contain my laughter. "It's not actually written by just one person, there are no names attached to it..hence the blank cover." I try to look annoyed now, enjoying messing with him.

The man is exasperated now, but still curious. "Okay well then what's it about?"

Looking up once more, I smile wider "It doesn't really have much of a plot..." My voice trails off, waiting to see his reaction.

He laughs "Of course it doesn't, why would a book with no author or title have a plot?"

I grin while closing the book, offering it to him. "Pick a page, read a little. You'll see what I mean.."

He reads a little and hands it back, now having a full understanding "And it just goes on like that?" He asks.

I nod and say "Pretty much. I always take it with me when I travel, I just pick a spot anywhere in the book and start reading. I've yet to finish it, but I don't think it would matter if I did."

He smiles "You're right, I don't imagine it would matter much."

Our conversation ends, and I go back to reading. Two hours later, the flight has touched down in Lake Como. As we all stand up to depart, the man and I make eye contact and smile at each other, but don't say a word.

True to form, I have no other luggage than my laptop bag, which also holds my camera. I make my way to the outside of the airport and wait on the curb for a taxi to come by, looking expectantly in the distance, hoping one will appear soon.

In front of me is a black sedan, which the man from before strolls up to with his one carry on bag, making pleasantries with the driver in Italian who takes the bag and puts it in the trunk.

He sees me now, waiting for a taxi.

"Waiting for your ride?" He raises his voice to be heard.

I look to him nonchalantly "Just waiting for a taxi, yeah."

He motions to his driver to hang on and walks over to me. "It might be a long wait, there aren't a lot of taxis here."

"Great. Well, I'll just start walking then, thanks for the heads up." I start walking the other direction.

"No luggage?" He says, following me.

"No," I sigh. "No luggage, I was planning on buying everything I needed in town. I like to travel light."

"Well where are you staying?"

"I didn't have a place planned, I was just going to ask the taxi to drop me off at a hotel."

"Well I can give you a lift," Off my unsure look "come on, it beats walking"

I relent, and we walk back to his car.

"My name's Geo" he says.

I grin and say "I know.. I'm Sera." and we shake hands.

"Nice to meet you, Sera."

"Nice to meet you, Geo."

The driver takes my bag, commenting in Italian to Geo that I have a nice ass. Geo looks to see if I react, and I don't, so he assumes I don't know Italian as we both get in the car and drive away from the airport.

[This chapter marks the start of my ability to have my dreams feel like a movie. I am able to watch/feel anything from any person's point of view and everything is just centered around drama instead of dream logic or common dream weirdness or events. This is why I am able to watch Chris and Brad talk about me even though I am not present.]

Arriving at the Turtle Inn, it's nothing short of a tropical heaven. White sandy beaches, clear blue water. Except for myself and the occasional employee, there is no one else in sight, since I have made sure to reserve the entire place for myself.

The second full night I am there, I am enjoying a lobster dinner at sunset when I am approached by the Inn's manager, a man I have already met but have forgotten his name.

"is the meal to your liking?" He asks, making smalltalk.

"Oh yes, thank you." I say, smiling appreciatively. "Everything is lovely." I expect him to fall back and to leave now, but he still stands there uncomfortably, without saying a word.

"Is there something wrong? Am I doing something?" I am terrified at having offended anyone, and my mind races with things I could have done or said to warrant a special visit from the manager.

"Oh no, please excuse me for making you think that. It's just.." he hesitates, and stammers a bit. "I know you specifically rented out the entire inn but we have someone that is very insistent on wanting a villa, a very special guest that we do not like to say no to.." His voice trails off there and he coughs.

I nod, already knowing I should relent, as it's only the polite thing to do. Having been here only two days, I already feel so much better and at peace with myself, that I know I won't be minded by other guests. "I understand, please do not say no to this person on my account, I do not mind the added company like I once thought I would."

The manager brightens, clearing his throat once more before he briskly takes his leave. I am a little taken aback by everything, but clear my mind of any negative thoughts and go back to enjoying my dinner.

The next morning, I decide I want to pitch a tent on the north side of the island, a short walk away from the villas. I spend the entire day swimming in the ocean and running around in the sand and exploring. By sunset, I am in my tent, reading a book by halogen light.

Back at the Inn, Brad arrives. Since our introduction, he hasn't been able to get me off his mind. He cut the visit with Chris short, and after much sweet talking and trying to bribe the workers of various airlines figured out my destination and decided to follow me there.

As the bellhop helps him with his bags, Brad looks quizzically over the vacant landscape. "Isn't there another guest staying here?"

The bellhop nods and says "Yessir, at the villa number one, on the other end of the island."

After his dinner, Brad decides to take a "casual stroll" down the beach towards the villa where I am supposed to be staying, only of course to see me not there.

By now the sun is almost completely gone and it begins to rain, so Brad heads back the way he came.

Back in my tent, the wind is howling now and the rain is torrential. I am in a sleeping bag but wide awake due to the noise. Suddenly the tent collapses, rain getting everywhere and I shriek.

I grab my book and light, leaving the rest to the beach and start make the long run back to the inn.

I am soaked to the bone quickly, and I start laughing at the absurdity of my life. Staggering past the villas now, I don't even notice the extra villa with the light on, and continue to the other end to mine.

Brad sees me just as I make it to my door and I walk inside. He begins to sprint to my villa, overtaken by the need to see me.

I am still laughing as I close my door, running my fingers through my long hair trying to get the excess water off. I grab a beach towel lying on my bed and use that to dry myself as best I can.

Dropping the towel and before I can begin to undress and change clothes, Brad is at my door. As everything is transparent, I can tell it's him instantly and let him in.

"You followed me?" I stare at him incredulously.

Slightly out of breath from running and now as soaked as I am, he responds "I saw you running in the rain, are you okay??"

I laugh at his concern "Yeah of course, I was going to try staying in a tent on the shore but it capsized in the storm so I had to make a run for it." I pause for a moment and then ask "Are you okay?"

Brad smiles with a hint of embarrassment and replies "Yeah, I guess I just forgot to pack an umbrella."

I laugh loudly "Yeah, me too. But..what are you doing here?"

Brad runs a hand through his hair, embarrassed to tell the truth. "I didn't know how to deal with this."

"Deal with what?"

"The fact that I've fallen for you and I don't even know your name."

Wide-eyed, I am at a loss for words for a moment. I try to read Brad's face, and can see nothing but sincerity and I already know whatever I do, that this is going to end badly.

I step closer to him, both of our clothes dripping and let go of all the inhibitions I can muster. "My name...is Sera."

And suddenly we're kissing passionately, wet clothes are discarded and we are making love on the bed.

Post coitus, listening to the thunder and rain outside, my head resting on his chest, I can't help the next sentence that comes out of my mouth.

"Can I ask you something? Was I...okay?" I blush, unsure if he could tell I was a virgin before then.

I pull back from him now to watch his face and return to my own pillow and he smiles easily and says "Yes, you were great" and pulls my waist to be closer to him.

With a second thought, he replies "Wait..was I okay???"

I grin toothily at him "You were..amazing." and we begin kissing again, leading to more sex and finally sleep.

The clock reads 4am and I am wide awake in the dark. The storm has long passed and so has my reasoning to believe that a relationship between Brad and I could actually work. As quietly as possible, I get dressed and leave the villa.

Making plans with the manager, I leave on the first plane back to the States before Brad has even awoken.

Brad, after finding I have vanished, makes the flight back to LA, rushing to Chris' house unannounced.

When Chris opens the door Brad is frantic. "Where is she? SERA!?!?!?" He shouts past Chris into the house "Sera, are you here???"

Chris is shocked and tries his best to calm Brad down as he let's him into the house and Brad runs into the guest room I had previously stayed in seeing it still empty. "Has Sera said anything to you about where was going? I need to talk to her. I need to.."

Chris shakes his head "Brad, you need to calm down. Tell me what happened."

Brad sits down on the bed and tells him about following me to Belize, and admitting falling for me, and the amazing sex. "..but then I woke up and she was gone, man. Management said she had a family emergency and left and wouldn't give me any of her info or anything."

Chris tries to process all of this information "You slept with..?" unable to finish the sentence, he sits down next on the bed next to Brad.

"Yeah I mean, you know, you've slept with her. She's amazing."

Chris stares blankly at the floor "No X and I, we never..I mean we've kissed but that's.." Chris looks at Brad and Brad instantly feels like shit for saying anything.

"Oh man, I'm sorry. I just thought you know, that you and Sera had something. I'm sorry. But seriously, can I have her number? I can't leave things like that."

Chris feels like he's been punched in the stomach everytime Brad calls me Sera. He knows the pain Brad is in for and knows there's nothing he can do to stop it.

"Brad, I don't have her number. She's gone. The last time I will ever see her or talk to her is when you were over here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I have no way of contacting her. No email, no phone, no name. Nothing. She's gone"

"But her name is Sera?"

Chris sighs and stands, trying to control his frustration. "No, her name isn't Sera. It's not X, or Lennox, or anything else she tells anyone. She's completely closed herself off from everyone, Brad. And there's no way for you to find her. She's a ghost. She's -gone-."

It finally starts sinking in for Brad as he tries to come to grips with everything that has happened.

My bags by my feet, elbows resting on the railing, I take in the breathtaking view of the canyon behind Chris' house for what I know will be the last time.

I hear a sliding glass door open and close behind me, but ignore it until I hear a voice. "Do you mind if I smoke out here?"

Annoyed slightly by the interruption, I quip back without turning around "If I say yes, will that actually stop you from smoking, or will you just move further down and pretend the smoke can't possibly bother me from there?"

Turning around now to watch Brad's reaction, I give him my best stone cold gaze.

Brad gives a surprised laugh, holding up both his hands in protest, one hand grasping onto a pack of Marlboros and one of those cheap plastic gas station lighters. "Okay then, I guess you want to be alone.." muttering under his breath ".,jeez."

I smile slightly now, leaning back against the railing "No really, it's just a question. I'm interested. If I said that I minded, would you really go back inside?"

He looks at me perplexed, not sure if he should tell me the truth. "I probably would just not smoke, considering I was just using it as an excuse to talk to you more."

"Ah," I falter now, looking away from his eyes and turning back around to face the canyon, wondering why he would bother wanting to talk to me. "Well you can smoke if you want."

Brad takes this as an invitation, and steps up next to me. He has already put the cigarettes and lighter back in his pocket. "So you're leaving, huh?"

I nod awkwardly, I never like to talk about my travels, because it always leads to a lie. "Yep, just waiting on the cab. he said he was about ten minutes out"

Brad nods back, trying his hardest to make eye contact with me, and finally succeeding. "Where to?"

I shrug and half sigh, knowing this is where the lie comes in. I had made plans a few hours before to rent out the entire Turtle Inn resort in Belize. I needed to feel alone to deal with the issue of losing Chris, my only friend and confidante that has come close to knowing the "real me" after all these years. I still hadn't bought the plane ticket though, I decided to wait until I got to the airport for that. So I wasn't completely lying to him.

Instead of all that, I reply "I don't know. I usually figure that out when I get to the airport."

Brad raises an eyebrow. "Really."

More awkward nodding "Really. It's the best way to travel. No expectations, no strings, no plans."

"And you do this all alone?" his eyes search mine questioningly, and I mistake the look for pity.

Defensively, I reply "Yes, I always go alone."

I can hear the cab roll up the driveway and he honks twice.

"That's my cue." I mutter as I scoop up my bags and start walking towards the driveway. "Bye."

Brad looks at my back wistfully as I walk away "Huh" he says to himself, still trying to figure me out. "See you later!" He calls out to me.

I put a hand up and wave without turning around, thinking "Yeah right"

"LAX please.." as I hand the cabbie my duffel bag and he closes the door behind me. As we drive away, I don't look behind me.

I "awaken" in the dream in a bedroom and I realize several things at once.

I am in a guest bedroom of Chris' house and packing clothes into a duffel bag. I know that since that night at the White Party, that Chris and I's relationship has returned to it's original state, simply platonic. I know that his relationship with Demi has progressed as expected, and that they are planning on moving in together soon. Because of this, the time Chris and I have spent with one another in the past few days will be the last time I will ever see him, and I am preparing to say goodbye to him for the last time.

While packing, I am oblivious to what is going on outside of the room - but I can see outside of my "dream self" and see Chris answering the door, his friend Brad stopping by on a planned visit between him and Chris to hang out. Brad has been divorced for several months and is easing back into the bachelorhood with reconnecting with his old friend Chris.

While they are exchanging pleasantries and unpacking food brought by Brad and putting beer in the fridge - I half shout from the room while still packing

"Hey Chris, I'm on my way to LAX - I already called a cab and it should be here soon so I'm going to pack up my stuff and wait out on the veranda, okay?"

Brad looks accusingly at Chris, this is supposed to be a guy's only meeting. "Who is that? Someone's here?"

Chris replies "Yeah it's just a friend. Hey you should meet her, she's really cool."

Brad shakes his head immediately "No, no way, man. You know how I feel about meeting people like this, it's always way entirely awkward and makes me uncomfortable."

Chris sortof chuckles, trying to smooth things over "Come on, just a quick hello. You heard her, she's on her way out anyway. Please? Quick and painless, I promise." Chris puts his hands together in a prayer motion

Disgusted with himself for caving, Brad rolls his eyes while grabbing a beer as they head to the living room. "Fine, but if this goes badly you owe me big time." Brad is pointing to Chris with the beer bottle in his hand.

Chris is giddy with excitement "Thank you, you got it, I'll owe you big time."

I come out of the room, preoccupied with my duffel bag still open, double checking to make sure I haven't left anything behind, a backpack slung on my other shoulder. I am headed to the livingroom where I have left my laptop and my digital camera.

"Hey Chris, did you hear me? I'm on my way out, do you know if I forgot anything? I always am afraid I'm going to leave something here" I make my way into the living room where I drop the duffel bag on the ground go over to a table where I left my laptop, closing the lid, unplugging usb cords etc.

"No, I'm sure you got everything, X. Hey listen, have you met my friend Brad before? He just came over to watch the game."

Brad extends his hand towards me even though I am still dealing with wrapping cords one by one and placing them into my pack. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

I glance up at him quickly, but look at him straight in the eyes, and say nonchalantly "Yeah, hi." and go back to looking at what I am doing. Done with the cords, I put the laptop in my backpack and then reach for my camera "Well if you find anything that you think might be mine, just burn it okay?" I ask, addressing Chris again.

Brad is stunned, pulling back his extended hand awkwardly, unsure of what just happened. Chris mouths "Oh my GOD" to himself, my reaction is exactly what he had hoped would happen. It's not everyday that Brad Pitt gets passed over by a female, but Chris knew that if anyone would do it, that it would be me.

I am still talking and oblivious to their reactions as I place my camera in my backpack and zip it up, placing it on my shoulders and going back to where I left my duffel bag. "I'm serious, I don't want your girlfriend finding a sock of mine or something and freaking out about it, so promise you'll check the room." Leaning down to zip up the duffel bag and picking it up, I walk over to Chris and look at him face to face, for the last time.

"Say you promise." I say to him.

"I promise." Off my distrusting look, he reiterates "I promise, I really do. Now give me a hug."

I instantly soften, dropping my bag to give him a hug, a tight squeeze that is at the same time comfortable yet still intertwined with a feeling of regret of a path not taken that is shared by us both.

Brad is still taken aback by the whole exchange, staring unabashedly at me. That is when Chris coughs uncomfortably, and remembering we are being watched we release each other, and I again pick up my duffel bag.

"So I'll see you later then?" I grin at my own joke, knowing that I will never see him again.

Chris snorts and can't help but grin back. So much being unsaid between us, but nothing that can be done about it. "Yeah, later. Take care of yourself, okay?"

I nod, taking his question seriously. "You take care of yourself too."

I look at Brad once more, as I am walking backwards towards the door. "And it was nice meeting you."

One last glance at Chris as I open the door to walk outside to wait for my cab. "Bye" Chris waves goodbye and I close the door and walk further outside to wait for my cab.

At the age of 21, I win the Powerball lottery jackpot of 200 million, cash option. I split half with various family members, and keep 100 million for myself. I decide that ultimately, I wish to travel, and see the world. I buy a digital camera and a domain name under a false name. I use the car I already own, a beat up used Dodge Neon, and I start roadtripping across the United States.

I literally stop in every small town, not wanting to leave any city unvisited. I don't remember the cities as much as I do of the pictures I take. Seemingly unimportant landscapes and various pictures of banal small town life. But I am content with all of it, and my travels.

For some reason, the website I am updating has gotten followers, and is starting to become popular. People begin writing posts on various websites around the internet inquiring to my identity, wanting to meet me, wanting to show me their town. People start calling me Lennox, or even X instead of the full name Jake Lennox I had given myself from Day 1.

I am amused and of course sort of excited by the attention, but I know that any kind of fame or recognition is not what I want. I change my website so now that the pictures uploaded are a month behind my current travels, so no one is the wiser to where I really am at any certain time.

People become wise to the fact that they can email me at [email protected] and I become interested in answering people's inquiries back, although of course not giving up any personal information or where I am ever located at any given time. I've never been given any sort of attention before, and as I'm traveling alone I am often lonely, so the emails are my only outlet of being social and for me, my only way of having friends.

The popularity of my site grows. It soon seems that the popularity rises not because of the pictures, but of the fact that everyone is clamoring to find out my identity. It suddenly becomes "cool" to say that you've hung out with Jake Lennox, and no one can dispute it (especially me) because no one can prove otherwise.

I reach the attention of the mainstream media, Extra, TMZ, Perez Hilton, and finally the attention of Ashton Kutcher, who begins emailing me regularly. Our emails are nothing out of the ordinary. Friendly, sharing a connection between two people. He is fond of calling me X, along with everyone else.

After several months he starts hinting that I should come to LA and meet him, hang out at so and sos house, or at the Super Bowl, or any other kind of sporting event. I always decline as politely as possible, frightened by the idea of him hating me when discovering my true identity, a plain Midwestern girl.

Eventually, I can't help it. I fall for Ashton, but I am still determined to stay away from him, knowing that he doesn't know who I really am, he only knows the lies. After almost over a year, he drops another invitation - come to the White Party held by his friend Sean Combs in New York. That no one will know who I am, and he and I will finally get to meet in person with no repercussions.

Against my better judgement, I agree, flying to New York. As Ashton promised, my invitation was accepted with no second glance, and I was in. I managed to find my way to a secluded third floor. A ring around the main dance floor, two stories below. A sea of people in white dancing below to a pop beat, green lights washing over them as I stood watching them alone, enthralled.

I receive a txt from Ashton "Where are you?" and now he is on his way. No turning back now. I hear the door open behind me, but I watch the scene of the party before me breathless, never seeing anything like it before. Fnally, I turn around.

And there he is, a stunned and surprised look on his face at first as he walks toward me, but then he smiles charmingly, making me want to melt in a puddle right there.

"Hi' he says, stopping in front of me, extending his hand still smiling. "I'm Chris."

"Hi Chris", I reply shaking his hand, trying not to blush as I smile shyly. "I'm Sera."

I'm not sure why I give him a false name, maybe habit? Nerves? I figure I have a good reason, so I don't correct myself.

"Sera..." he muses on my name for awhile. "It's nice to meet you."

I turn then to face away from him, but we are now next to each other, watching the party unfold below us. I look sideways at him and give him a knowing look, with a big grin. I can't help it, I'm beside myself with happiness to finally be meeting Chris face to face. I reply "It's nice to finally meet you too"

And he big grins back, grabbing my hand to pull us closer, facing one another again. And we begin leaning closer and closer, until we engage in one simple breathtaking kiss.

When we separate, a pensive look crosses my face and say, "So I guess you're not mad?" and he laughs shaking his head "No, I'm not mad. Relieved, more like it."

I breathe a sigh of relief, and he releases my hand as he reaches for his cell phone, which is buzzing in his pocket.

"Shit" he says "Sean is texting me from downstairs, he says he has someone that he wants me to meet." Chris looks up at me from his phone "..but you aren't going to come with me to meet him if I ask, are you?"

I shake my head "No, not tonight."

Chris nods understandingly and hastily puts his phone back in his pants pocket and lightly touches the side of my face with the palm of his hand. "I'll be back, ten minutes tops, okay?"

"Okay", I nod to him as he releases me and starts heading towards the door. "..bye."

I waited an hour, before I finally left. Turns out that Sean introduced Chris to Demi Moore that night. The love of Chris' life and his future wife.