non-lucid

Yet again small fragments, but I am certain writing them is a good idea.

Dreamed: 3.10.2012, Written: 3.10.2012.

I remember this very vaguely, but I'm pretty sure I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom.
I don't remember seeing myself in the mirror, or remember anything the would've caught my attention happening there.
I have a feeling that I was lucid, I don't know why.
I remember standing in front of the mirror and whispering a lot of things that sounded like insane gibberish.
I'm not sure if this was from the same dream, but I remember later not being lucid, I think, and going out of the toilet and towards my computer desk, I remember being very angry and frustrated, I felt I wanted to destroy something. although this wasn't lucid, thinking about it, it just seems like that actually happened, though it didn't.
I was near my computer desk and looked for something to destroy, something like a match box or a toilet paper roll.
I remember not finding anything, then I saw a knife under my headphones, the handle was bright blue.
I then almost grabbed the knife still angry, maybe with the intent to hurt myself, but then I snapped and thought to myself "I need to relax, I could seriously hurt myself this way".
I think I calmed down after that, and sat in my chair, calm.
That's all I remember here, I really am not sure why I thought I was lucid in the first scene, just a feeling.

Also, the night before I was thinking about how fascinating I find mirrors in dreams, that my brain actually has to imagine every little detail, twice, and that I think mirrors have quite a potential for something, I came up with an idea of a "Change your look" stations using mirrors, you could touch you face and hair and so on as if the mirror was a touch screen, and change things.
That's why I think I dreamed of this, and maybe this made me semi-aware for a very short time.

The second dream I remember, which I think I might have returned to after waking up once, wasn't lucid though.
Was quite a long dream I think, I tried to recall it better after waking up, but I couldn't remember much, and it has been hours ago so I forgot even more of it.

The dream occurred in a place which was a hybrid of my old school, my current school and some things that were different but not from either of them.
Almost all of the dreams I remember for about half a year already occur there, and I think it changes a bit every time.

While writing this I'm starting to recall more, so here's what I currently remember.

I was sitting in my new classroom, which looked a bit different, with a friend of mine, from my old class.
In the seats in front of me were sitting two girls also from my old class, they were mocking me and my friend for not believing in god, I remember me and him telling them things but I really don't remember what me or he said.
I then talked with him about things, but again, I don't remember the conversation.
Then I was coming back to my seat holding something which was either a bunch of seeds or coins, or something else completely.
I heard the girls talking about how they are in need of the things I was holding, I think I might have brought it just because of it, I don't remember.
I then dropped one off on their desk without saying a word and went back, they said something along the lines of "Huh, helping now, after bribery?" and laughed condescendingly, I don't know what that meant in context of the dream plot.

Later I was outside of the school, It was my old school's outside environment, but different.
I don't remember some parts of what I was doing outside, but then I remembered a certain girl sitting near another girl on a big stone near me, I know exactly who she was based upon.
It wasn't really near me, but not far away.
I remember that I have met her in this dream before this, inside.
I remember there was a conversation, but I can't remember it, I only remember that it was a friendly conversation.
She saw my outside after sitting down on that stone, she waved at me and yelled something, I think she just said "Hi there!" or something along those lines, again her appearance made me feel comfortable, and a bit in love actually.
I think I greeted her back, I'm pretty sure I did.
The girl next to her then asked her something along the lines of, "Does he ever talk at all?" kind of in an intent of offending me, she answered "Yeah, all the time! I like talking to him".
I think what she said was a bit different, but this seems close enough.
Again I felt good hearing her.

I think there was more to the dream, but I can't recall any further.
Oh wow, I started writing this with
"Yet again small fragments, but I am certain writing them is a good idea."
And ended up with a decently detailed entry, I guess writing this up really was a good idea.

I also think my dream recall is improving, a bit slowly, but improving.

Edit:
Huh, minutes after finishing this I remembered another dream.
I was in my bathroom, which I am beginning to think might be a dream sign, third time I'm there in a dream.
Instead of my toilet seat there was a tall yellow contraption there, with about five rows of buttons, every row had a different amount of buttons, now that I think about it, there might have been two rows,
The first row had more than five of them, I think.
The second one I didn't really pay attention to, but there were less there.
The first row was about different flushing functions, so this thing was a toilet after all!
I pressed a button and then a stretchable leather like fabric went up and stretched blocking the toilet seat.

Huh, I wonder how many dreams I forgot like this.

Dreamed: 17.9.2012, Written: 17-29.9.2012.

I remembered a lot more before, I wrote and drew myself a few notes and wrote shortly about the dream in hope to remember it later, I don't remember much.

Before I start, a little piece of information that I think is important in order to understand part of this dream.
about almost a month ago, when going to sleep I visualized myself walking around in my old school in hope to fall asleep and become lucid there.

When almost sinking into sleep I was walking up a stairway somewhere in the school, something about it felt off.
Well, in this dream I remember being there on that stairway, in the dream plot, I actually thought I was there in reality.
I checked what was off and found out, I don;t remember what it was.
Then I remember being in my room, it was full of people from my school, as if my room was a classroom.
I remember there being an arcade gaming machine instead of a toilet seat in my bathroom, and people playing there.
The next thing I remember is a couple of girls from my school sitting on my bed doing homework I think, something along those lines,
i only recognized one of them, she was sitting next to my pillow, on the pillow there was a triangle shaped notebook.
I remember taking the notebook and examining it for a second, and then putting it back on the pillow.
In the dream I don't think I remembered my room was actually my room.

There was more I'm sure, but that was more than ten days ago so I forgot.

Dreamed: 15.9.2012, Written: 16.9.2012.

The dream starts with me wearing an athletic shirt, I just finished running and apparently was very tired.
I remember taking a "part" of me away and throwing it away, I really don't remember what that was.
I was trying to run further by it was quite difficult.
Then I remember Ricky Gervais helping me stand as I fell, although I couldn't see myself, I felt as if I am also Ricky Gervais, as if there were two of us.
I remember him talking about something 1999 related, and some ten year celebration.
I can't remember anything else about the conversation, though I think there was a third person there.
Then I was alone running again, running down a city road with people cheering around me, not a lot of people though, I think.
At one point of the road I stopped, I remember a blonde female character who looked familiar, I'm pretty sure I know who my brain based her about.
I remember us kissing for a quick second, she then said something to me that I don't remember.
I then saw a scene in which I wasn't participating, I was more or less a camera looking from the side.
I was looking at the two Ricky Gervais, they looked more like Stephen fry now.
One of them had curly hair now, he said to the other Ricky "You kissed my girlfriend".
I don't remember more, after I kissed the blonde woman I remember telling her "I'll be gone for now, I'm going to the theater".
I was then a side watcher again, I saw the blonde woman talking to another girl, her hair was black.
They were outside a theater,"well now that he's gone I have more time for this!", then she kissed the black haired woman.
The Ricky with the curly hair came out of the theater behind them wearing a theater worker uniform.
He looked at them as if he didn't know them at all and then looked away.
The blonde woman quickly stopped kissing and looked down ashamed, and wiped her lips with her sleeves.

That was a very tedious dream to describe, huh.

Dreamed: 5.8.2012, Written:5.8.2012.

I was sitting in front of my computer, I was watching a YouTube video, I accidentally turned up the volume to the max, I knew the sound will be quite loud so I quickly pressed the mute button on my keyboard.
I remembered that I never experience a volume change delay on YouTube, I have only experienced that while changing the volume on the VLC media player.
I then pressed the off button on my speaker, there's a green light right on my speaker that only works when my speaker is on.
The light was still on when I turned off the speaker.
And I remember saying/thinking "Well, if that doesn't make sense, does anything?".
And I became vaguely lucid, everything turned to black, I don't know if I got excited or scared, the whole memory of the dream is quite vague.
I still felt lucid though and didn't wake up, I probably could've entered a lucid dream if I was more aware of the situation I am in.
Even in this void I remember moving my shoulder, or at least the feeling of moving my shoulder.
And i thought "Ha, lets try and guess in which position I'm currently sleeping".
I felt like I had a choice between waking up and going lucid, I remember being scared and waking up.

Dreamed: 30.7.2012, Written: 30.7.2012.

Ugh, this one is going to be hard to explain, mostly because it doesn't even make a lot of sense to me.

I have been called to a nursing home, when I came there, I saw my grandfather anxiously walking up and down a high tower of spiraling stairs, well, not very high, but quite.
They came from a little house up high. I think grandfather was whispering nonsense as he went up and down the stairs.
I remember the nurse that met me there telling me that he hit his head, ans since then started talking nonsense.
He said something along the lines of "I've got a gummy in the head and now ...", I can't remember the rest.
I then came up the stairs, then suddenly my other grandfather appeared there.
My grandfather was running around up and down the stairs anxiously, I told him to slow down and the other grandfather answered, he said "Don't worry, you know I'm not going to fall.", and he smiled.
Then I said "Well, you're not the one I'm worried about".
I then skip a few scenes, I am standing near a playground, it feels very familiar, I am sure I've seen it before, in my dreams.
It only had one swing, though, my grandpa was swinging there.
I remember two or three people with me, I don't remember them at all, not even a concept of a face.
I only remember that one of them was a female, the color yellow comes up when I think about her.
My grandpa suddenly got terrified and paranoid and shouted "the tiny eyes! they have come for me!".
I then saw what I think was a reflection on my glasses, I saw a pair of eyes in the reflection, I then came to the conclusion that my grandpa has developed a fear of shadows and reflections, I told the yellow female to look these symptoms up on her smart phone.

I remembered more before but I don't now.
This was an odd dream.

A few dreams from my physical dream journal.
I'm going to start writing here from now on, I realized that my handwriting is barely readable.

Here are the dreams I currently have written in my journal:

DREAM 1
Dreamed: Unknown, Written: 27.7.2012.

I was in the living room, the light was off, it was also off in the kitchen, which is sort of connected to the living room.
There is a big glass door in the living room which leads to another room, it doesn't really have a purpose, we just store various things there.
The light was on in there, I saw it through the glass door.
I tried turning the lights on in the living room by using the switch, it didn't work.
After a couple of failures, i gave up.
I tried turning the lights on in the kitchen, it also didn't work.
I found it weird that only the glass door room light was working, I then "semi" realized that I am dreaming and suddenly rushed upstairs to my room.
When in my room I built a wall where my "door hole" is, (I don't have a door in my room).
I think I might have been wearing big grey or black gloves.
After blocking the doorway,I felt that I am not really lucid, that the dream isn't stable at all, which was true.
I then started looking at the huge tree outside my window, I tried to focus as hard as I could and receive all the detail possible to become more aware, I don't remember it very well, but the tree was beautiful and extremely colorful.
That is the last thing I remember before waking up.
It was all very sudden, irrational and just very blurry.