viewtifuljon

I'm in some large building and my friend Charles is with me. There's some sort of Mr. Miyagi type character there as well who is demonstrating his martial art skills. Charles (who is in to that sort of stuff IRL) decides to challenge him. They fight with those staff things. Charles puts up a good fight (getting in a few decent hits) but ultimately is defeated. I remember the blows looking particularly painful. Like one would "stab" the other with the staff and his flesh would bend and poke through the other side.

After the fight, I have a conversation with Charles. We try to discuss if he could beat Ryu from Street Fighter in a hand-to-hand fight. Charles asks how his skill is at avoiding and blocking chains of attacks. I explain to him that a "chain" or a "combo" in tournament fighter terms is by definition a series of hits that are unavoidable provided that the first hit connects. Since it's sort of a gaming abstraction, I reason that his skill at blocking chains must be assumed to be the same as Ryu's. My thought process is surprisingly clear and logical. A similar argument is made for Charles's inability to shoot hadoukens.

After this we all decide that it would be best to learn karate or something so that we can defend against bad guys. I'm then in a karate class. It's very embarrassing because I'm the only adult in a room full of 5 year olds. We do some drills that mainly consist of things I remember from basketball practices. Layups, foot dexterity drills, etc.

Suddenly, I'm Batman. Best plot twist ever.

The same Mr. Miyagi type character is my master who trained me. There are bad guys trying to kill him (I think I identify these attempts as having been made by the Joker?). At one point there is a bomb planted near him so I disarm it or get rid of it or something. Then they actually succeed in killing him. I chase down the bad guy and apprehend him. A funeral service is called to honor Mr. Miyagi's death by someone other than me. Everyone brings strawberry jam to the funeral because that's customary or something. They give Mr. Miyagi's corpse the jam and he is revived. Apparently jam is the cure to whatever poison that the bad guy gave him, and he himself called for the funeral service because he knew it would be the fastest way to get jam.