Vilex

I had a fabric doll, with skinny arms and spindly legs.
I think her name was Helen.

I was walking at night, holding Helen. I was sleepwalking. Yes I must have been sleepwalking. Helen wanted me to walk into my parent's room. Why not do what Helen wanted?

Flash forward, I was in a bar. I didn't know how I got there. Did Helen want me to drink? Was I an alcoholic?

Flash forward, I was talking to a friend. I asked him how old I was. It felt like an awful lot of time was passing. I didn't know what to make of these time skips. Was I sleepwalking through them? When I was sleepwalking, was I doing what Helen wanted?

Did Helen want anything? Was Helen just a doll? Had I finally lost it completely?

Flash forward, I had decided to burn Helen.
I tossed Helen into the fire but she refused to burn.
I tore Helen apart.

It was shaped like a mini Avro Vulcan.
Painted a bold and bright red.
It floated across the sky, slow but unimaginably maneuverable.
I knew this was one of the finest aircraft ever built.
It dove in and out of the mountain canyons nearby, then did a long slow pass.
A child waved.
I think the pilot waved back.

I was flying an aircraft now, and we were in battle. But I didn't feel like anything was at stake. I mowed down a line of infantry and was hailed as a hero, but I knew it didn't matter because nobody really died and none of this was really real.

I was walking along a narrow, aging road in an overgrown field. It was cloudy, humid, and still. I understood that the previous day a storm had rolled through, and knocked down many powerlines. I watched my step, as now I saw them collapsed around me. Ahead of me, another post fell.

Despite the danger it was rather beautiful.

And then it became quiet. I heard nothing. No wind. No cars. Nothing.
Nothing but my tinnitus.
I wondered what true silence was like, without such ringing.
If there ever was true silence, it was right here.

An owl swooped by and the sounds of the world returned.

I received a phone call. An old coworker wanted an SD card I took from him back. I instantly remembered this fictitious event and felt ashamed I hadn't returned it.

I found the SD card. It was 109Gb. Weird size. I checked inside a Nintendo Switch in case it was the wrong card. The Switch had an 8Gb card. Logically I would have borrowed the bigger one right? Figured that was the one.

I was in a theater, waiting for the show to start. I didn't really like my seat but so many more seats were open. So I jumped seats. But when I looked up, this seat was somehow even worse than before. Weird.

I jumped seats again. Once again, the results were not as expected, now I had a metal bar blocking my view.

I got up and moved very close to the front. And now the movie started. It was in 3D, but I wasn't wearing any glasses. I must have been so close to the screen that it just looked real, said my dream brain.

Terrible luck, to be mauled by a jaguar.

But strikingly good luck to have access to a jaguar surgeon! She gently adjusted the angle of my head, remarking on my "giraffe like" features. I knew that all animal injury surgeon specialists were like this, seeing animals in every person they operated on. She was the real deal. I was in good hands.

She walked off for a bit, and out came the jaguar. And wouldn't you know it, she got mauled too. Oh she didn't look so bad, but there was no more jaguar surgeon for me, she needed to find one of her own now.

I didn't remember being mauled by a jaguar, come to think of it. How did that even happen? Why was this jaguar just roaming about the zoo? Did it jump the moat? Aren't jaguars in cages?

I guess it didn't matter, because here I was, bleeding to death. It was an amusing fate honestly. I almost laughed.

Then, a crazy idea.

What if instead of a jaguar surgeon I got a regular surgeon? What was so jaguar specific about this injury anyway!?!

I felt like a genius! I called out for help. I begged some folks nearby to call an ambulance! But they insisted that the jaguar surgeon was out of commission. How was I to be helped without her? I tried to reason with them, but they couldn't understand. This was pointless.

I was inching forward on my stomach now. There was no pain, but I was getting very weak. I dragged myself away, and happened to find my father sitting there on a bench. Surely, my old man would react quickly to save his son!

I begged him, call a surgeon, any surgeon (covered by my insurance, please)! He looked confused. Surely this was a job for the jaguar surgeon?

Truly, this was not a world worth living in. I resigned myself to my death.