vudooscience

Before bed.
Smoked a little. Waited a couple hours before falling asleep.
Had left over Mexican food munchies before bed.

Dream recall was better. Not great, but better.
Plan on not smoking tomorrow night.

Whatever I refuse to think about IRL seems to always find its way into my dreams.
A little short of a year ago, I met an amazing person. I could tell him anything.
I could wake up at three am and tell him about my horrible nightmares,
my darkest insecurities and most shameful actions.

He moved in with me, except, I wasn't ready for the love and comfort he was giving me.
Long unnecessary story short, I chose to not have him in my life,
and I feel bad for doing that. I miss his company every day.
I could never tell him that.

So instead, I dream about him:


He moved back in with me.
He was so accepting of the things and decisions I had made.
He accepted me for everything that I was. I missed him.
I felt so comfortable in my dream. A comfort that's never been matched.
We talked a bit. [ This part got hazy. ]
I remember at one point, we laid in bed together.
He took off my pants, we laid there giggling in our underwear.
He gave me a pink band-aid, and told me to rip it in three pieces and put in on my body.
I did so, and stuck the pieces along my panty line.
I didn't question what I was doing, or why, but it felt okay.
We giggled a bit more, and then of course I can't remember the rest.

Before bed.
Four shots of cheap light rum. Smoked. Ate Nutter Butters with milk.


I finally recalled a dream (barely).
I know smoking affects my dream recall greatly,
but I'm going to start experimenting with that.
It wasn't much a dream.

It was actually a process dream, which I have just read about.
I was at work, in uniform and all. I had a lot of free time.
[ I've been ahead at work lately, so I'm guessing that's where that translated from. ]
So I started folding a bunch of these little pink pastry boxes.
[ I work at a bakery. ]
And that's all I did in my dream. Fold box after box after box.

Sort of annoying. But, I'm just happy to have recalled anything at all.
Blame on the alcohol?