All That Haunts Lëzen's Dreamworld

[Lëzen]

8/11/08 Outbreak This dream was confused, jumbled, and disturbing all at the same time. First I remember playing some sort of online video game which, at first, was similar to Runescape. There was this weird little thing where I killed this skeleton that was making pancakes. Then I (still in-game) went into this sort of boss fight, where I was fighting three witches simultaneously, avoiding their spells whilst trying to get them to hit each other with them. Don't quite remember how it turned out, but back to where I was before, where I had killed the skeleton, I read up on Jaron's profile, and it said he had been banned. I was thinking it was because he hadn't signed into the game in so long that the server got rid of him. Then, I was back in 'real' life, and Slip and I were participating in this sort of program to help out these people who were infected with a deadly, highly contagious disease. We were wearing protective garments as we kept all the sick marching in a line (most of them were bald, like cancer patients). I couldn't help but notice that most of the patients were also children, about 10 or so. There was this short break we took where the kids admired Slip and me, saying things like "we wanna be like you when we grow up!" Anyway, after we had gotten them to where they were supposed to be - this airtight clean room that was their quarantine area - our work was done. I don't know how much time passed or what I did directly after that, but I remember returning to the quarantine area to check up on the patients. Most of them were gone, and there was but one man sitting on one of the beds lining the walls. He looked like a killer. Upon getting a closer look at some of the surrounding beds, I noticed there were traces of blood on them. I bolted out of the room and ended up back at the apartment complex. I knew no one was home and I hadn't brought a key, so I went downstairs and asked my neighbor if I could use her phone. I recall having a lot of trouble trying to dial Slip's number. I reached his voice mail and told him something about how the city was compromised, and that spread of the disease was imminent. Then I looked at my neighbor and lied that I was relaying to him a scenario for a story we were writing, and she seemed to believe it. Then her phone rang and she told me to answer it, and it was this guy I know named Kevin who lives in the complex behind ours. I think he was stalking my neighbor or something, as he was saying something like "I can see you guys through the window!" Later, I was back near the quarantine room with Slip, and we were suiting up once again in our protective garments - however, I couldn't find enough socks to suffice (we were supposed to wear two socks on each foot, and two on each hand). That's all I remember for that one. Rat Race In the most recent one, I was participating in some sort of race with Jaron, Hannah Montana (yuck!), and some other person. We were dressed up as pirates, and Jaron was driving us around in a VTA bus that was "dressed up" all piratey. I suppose that was our team's "pirate ship". The point was to get to City Hall (which in the dream I assumed, for some reason, meant the Veterans' Hall) and enter the mess hall first to claim the prize. H.M. Really didn't want to be doing this, and a couple times she tried to get off the bus when we made a stop. I strong-armed her back on, letting Jaron tell her a story about how he had given his brother Kasen a sword (toy I think) and told him that if he abused it in any way, he'd take it back - and that because of this, Kasen hadn't fooled around with his sword. I said something to the effect of "such is the power of threats", and it seemed to convince H.M. to stay for some reason. [I honestly have no idea what Jaron's little story possibly had to do with H.M.'s desire to leave.] Then, after some uneventful riding, we stopped off at a bus stop, and Jaron and whoever else was with us got off, leaving H.M. and me on board. Then the bus started to move forward. I frantically grasped the wheel, but I still ended up scraping the side of a parked car. I curbed the bus and Jaron got back on, furious. I told him that I had only gotten the wheel because I couldn't reach the brake pedal. I got off the bus momentarily to assess the damage. I turned around for some reason or another, and when I turned back, what I thought was our bus was leaving. I ran and jumped onto the bus' door, pried it open and looked inside. The driver was this old guy, so I jumped off and turned around, only to see our actual bus drive off without me. I ran in its general direction, deciding I would just run to the Vets' Hall, since I knew where it was. Then I woke up.

[Lëzen]

Aw, nerts. Looks like I've posted something a day late, yet again. Oh well. 8/13/08 Scare-ified I was playing this game that reminded me a bit of Ocarina of Time, but the dungeon design looked a bit Castlevania-esque. I went into 'look' mode to see where I was, and someone interrupted me, so I paused it. After I came back to the game from doing whatever I was doing, I noticed the game was unpaused, still in 'look' mode - and I could see these demonic dog creatures running toward me on screen. I picked up the controller and started shooting hastily at them with an Uzi. The dungeon now looked not unlike the eerie environment of Condemned 2: Bloodshot. I ran around the dungeon for a while, killing demon creatures that constantly popped out of the shadows. I reached the exit to the area, but there were a lot of dog demons just coming and coming and coming... At one point I pinned a few of them down to the ground with my arms and legs. For some reason, this scared off the rest of the demon dogs. I guess they didn't want to get into MY sleeper hold. Anyway, I did away with the game for the moment and found myself at what I think was supposed to be Katie's house, although it looked a lot more like Sarah's, now that I think about it. Mom was sitting on the couch while the cat was behind her, sitting on the window sill. He was scratching a hole into the open window's screen, and I was surprised no one was yelling at him to stop. I went into the bathroom, where I suppose I was trying to mod up my PS2. I think I remember attempting the whole 'slide card' trick. A couple of times I stopped what I was doing, listening in on a conversation Sarah and Mike were having outside the bathroom (thinking it involved me). At one point I picked a q-tip out of the waste basket, but I had picked it up by the dirty end; I got this whole semi-solid glob of orangey earwax stuck to my hand. I washed it off in the sink. Watching the globs float around in the water, the earwax, disgustingly, expanded and became foam-like. I went into the kitchen to see if the kitchen faucet would have the power to more effectively get the rest off, and I encountered a guy with slicked-back black hair and one of those chilling evil-guy smiles (think Matthew Lillard). He was holding my family hostage for what was supposed to be the third time. I told him that he wouldn't get away with it, and he said something about how the police were so inept, they didn't believe us when we had tried to turn him in the first two times. I looked out the kitchen window and saw Rachel, who looked terrified, strapped into a speeding baby carriage...something I was thinking the evil guy had done to her. I went back into the living room and noticed there was an electric guitar in a box. The box said Stratocaster on it but it looked more like a white Steinberger with a head. Anyway, I proceeded outside, onto this sort of patio. The floor was wooden and off to the right there were stairs that led up to this little second-floor structure. Not really sure what to compare it to. I went up the stairs and into the structure, and it looked sort of like a fancy living room. I made my way across the room and I looked over toward the sofa, momentarily seeing someone sitting there. Then I convinced myself that my eye had simply caught the centerpiece on the coffee table in front of the sofa. I glanced up briefly at a mirror on the wall and, from the angle at which I looked at it, I saw a bit of the back of a woman's head (long, curly black hair.) I walked in front of the mirror so that I could see my own reflection in it. And behind me was a the <strike>demonic face of a woman</strike> face of a demonic woman standing right behind me. My eyes widened like saucers and my mouth widened as if to let out a scream, and I woke up suddenly. Seriously, the terrified expression on my face was what sent shivers down my spine, even more than the zombified old woman. A New Emotastic Me! The dream I had that introduced me to the lucid dream to come was short and weird. I was lying in my bed, listening to music from what was, in my mind, The Wind Waker (although I know now that none of what I heard was in the game). Strangely, I had to reach up to my window fan and flip its power switch up or down to change the song that was playing. This one song came on which, I guess, struck an emotional chord with me, and soon I was sobbing for no apparently rational reason. I picked up this little toy mirror thing and watched myself cry. Then I asked myself "why on earth am I crying?" and "why do I have this mirror? I've never seen it before in my life." So I looked at my hands and, for the first time in a while, they looked abnormal. I think at this point the dream was kind of fighting with me...like my mind was fighting to stay unconscious, since I didn't immediately go lucid. But I fought to stay aware that I was dreaming, and eventually I found myself lying flat on my back in bed, as if trying to WILD. The familiar feelings of the WILD technique helped to bring me into the LD, but...I don't really believe it was a WILD, considering I couldn't possibly have had enough time to wake up before that all happened. Perhaps it was a DEILD. Nice Place I've Got Here...[DEILD??] Anyway, I came into lucidity in my bedroom, as per usual. It was nighttime, as per usual... And I was naked, as per usual. I figured I would just walk around and explore. However, my house was actually that - a house, rather than an apartment. All I can say is that it looked similar to Slip's dad's house in many ways. The whole place was dark, but not too dark to see, as there was a soft blue light illuminating the living room. This light, I think, came from the TV - a girl (who at first I thought was Rachel, but isn't now that I think about it) was sitting on a couch in the middle of the living room, playing a video game. She looked at me with a smile and said hi. I returned the gesture and walked into the kitchen area, looking around a bit. I was amazed at how big this kitchen was. On my way out of the kitchen, I passed the cat, who was just standing there in the middle of the kitchen. I crossed the living room again and went into a hallway, and I found what I think was the girl's room. I looked around in there; it seemed like just a normal little girl's room. I went around the hall checking other rooms out - I remember one was empty except for a bed, and the window was open, blowing a cool night breeze in (drapes flailing and such). It was half creepy yet half serene. Then I started losing lucidity, and eventually succumbed to the dream. I was still naked, and as the lady of the house came walking into the hall, I covered myself with something and greeted her, telling her I'd like to rent out the empty room. She was shocked that I was naked, but she gave me her phone and told me to call a certain number. I hastily tried to dial what she said, but I got one of those "We're sorry, the number you have reached has been disconnected" messages. Then Sam and Rachel were walking with me, Sam pointing out that I had only dialed five of the seven numbers. That's all I can remember before waking up.

[Lëzen]

8/15/08 A Game I Haven't Played in a While... This dream was weird and jumbled, but... As far back as I can remember, I was in my room, about to play FF7. The opening sequence was different...showed Cloud in a grassy field flipping out like he's known to do. Rachel came in to talk to me about something, but about what, I have no idea. I went into the bathroom and did this weird thing; I think I peed half in the toilet, half in the sink. Mike opened the bathroom door while I was trying to go in the sink, and I was rather annoyed with him. I guess what I was doing was a sign that I was sick, so he handed me a glass full of purple liquid, which I drank. I remember saying something like "it's weird that I have to drink my own piss like this". Later, I was in a classroom, and Mr. Standen, my English 12 teacher back in high school, was the teacher. He had been playing FF7, but told me it took up too much space on his memory card, and he wanted to get back to a game he liked. Thus, as homework, he had given us the task of playing and summarizing the game. His first question (and the only one I remember) was in regards to Aeris (a key character in that game) - who she was, what role she played. Apparently there was only one other guy there who knew the answer, and he and I were interrupting each other a lot whilst trying to relay our knowledge to Mr. Standen. After that, I briefly talked with some girl. She was talking about how Square tried to sue Metallica because one of their songs, "People of the Universe", was based off the Cetra (an ancient race in FF7). A little later, I was walking downtown in the early morning. The sky was dark blue and there were dark red swirls of cloud. I was taking the route I used to take to my bus stop, only when I got there, it was a complete transit center rather than just a bus stop. I was apparently late and I witnessed the light rail I needed to catch (which had a 17 on it, by the way) leave without me. I sat down on a bench, pissed, and some guy who was about to sit down beside me was sympathizing with me, as he had needed the train as well. There was this guy in the bench in front of me wearing a shirt that depicted explicit cartoon sex, and I somehow knew that he was a psychopath. Then I was woken up. A Piss-Poor Time Dreamt about being at this sort of public pool/resort place [a precognitive episode of tomorrow's trip to Raging Waters?]. I was in a hotel room or something, doing nothing. Rachel came in and seemed to be packing stuff. I think I was playing FF Origins, as I remember the world map theme to FF1 playing. It was loud, so I turned it down. Mom came in and told me to leave, since the two of them needed to change. I went into Mike's room and started to play on his PS2, and he came in to say something about them going to pick up some food... For some reason, he was black, and looked a lot like Tom from The Boondocks. His tone of voice suggested that he didn't want me in his room, so I got up and went to the pool. I remember these weird commercials about women in bikinis who were taking off their bikini bottoms in the pool because of some new feminine product that made it more hygienic to do so...or SOMETHING. I dunno. It was too weird to have a reason, really. After seeing these, I suddenly found myself in the pool with two articles of clothing - a bikini bottom and a rice hat on my head. I was horrified, especially as the bikini bottom got untied and slipped off. I drifted, as inconspicuously as I could, to a secluded corner of the pool, trying to put them back on. As my mom and the others came back from getting dinner, I popped out of the pool and darted into the public restroom (which was also a laundry room for some reason). I tried to pee into one of the toilets, but I guess I had a woody or something, and the stream was forceful and hard to control; I peed everywhere. Later on, people found out it was me who had soaked the place in urine, and they all looked at me like I was disgusting (which I'd understand - since the restroom was also a laundry room, I must have soaked other people's clothes and such). At one point, I talked to a doctor who worked at the resort, and I was apologizing profusely. He believed me when I told him that I couldn't really control it, but went on to lecture me about how urine can congeal into very deadly bacteria, and that I was lucky that I didn't infect anyone.

[Lëzen]

8/18/08 99 Ways to Die Don't remember enough of the dream, since I was awoken rather abruptly. I first recall being in this science classroom with other students and whom I think was Dr. Foster from high school - weird, considering the nature of what was going on was very sci-fi (she's an anatomy teacher). There was a lightning storm going on outside, and she was trying to manipulate the lightning to conform to a demonstration to the class. She took something of mine that must have been conductive of electricity and placed it between two electrodes. Then a bolt of lightning shot down and struck it, and we applauded. What happened directly after that is hazy at best - I recall walking out of the classroom and across the street, where I witnessed a girl trying to eat the thing which Dr. Foster had made lighting strike; I think it had turned into a Ritz cracker or something. She made this disgusted face and spat it out. All I remember next is running around this house, going through the garage, backyard and tool shed, dodging people who were trying to catch me. This one chick kept getting in front of me and pissing quick spurts on the ground (as if it would make me slip or something). I jumped into the pool and they went in after me, but I didn't resurface. They then got out of the pool, thinking I was gone. Then, over on the grass, a geyser of water spurted up out of the ground, and I was riding it via surfboard...I think I had turned into Dave Mustaine. I could hear 99 Ways to Die playing, and I think I was about to swoop down on the people below with my surfboard just as I shouted the lyric "We're not ready to see you yet!" Then I was woken up.

[Lëzen]

8/21/08 Fragments - In the earliest part of this dream, I remember playing some Olympic-themed Nintendo game, competing against Slip in some two-player swimming game. Then I watched a black and white video of Slip playing guitar in a jazz band, noting that his guitar was black. - I was in a car with about four other people. I was on what would normally be the driver's side, but I wasn't driving, so...I must have been in a Euro-style car. That'd have made sense, though, since I was riding with people who were speaking German. Then one of the girls in the car had an episode, screaming about not ever wanting to be taken advantage of by a man again (apparently she'd been raped). Then we stepped out of the car and were in this snowy parking lot. Then I woke up. - I was in this big classroom taking what was supposed to be a Spanish class, but the teacher was teaching us German as well. I was eating some pink, sour gummies. At one point, the teacher turned on some music - the song that played was Phantom Lord by Metallica. - Was playing a weird version of Zelda III (again). There was a mini game where there were two big jellyfish things, and I had to hit one...depending on which one I hit, I'd get a reward. I stood next to the one on the right and did a state save (I guess I was playing it on an emulator), then I hit it. I didn't get much out of it, so I loaded the state and tried again. That time, I got "Life Up" and "Magic Hand". After this, I noticed the life bar looked more like it did in Zelda II.

[Lëzen]

9/2/08 "It's Time to Play My Guitar...Close the Iris!!!" It was a long and vivid dream, but alas, yet again, I stupidly forgot to write it down. Here's what I can remember: It was a Stargate-themed sort of "show". At what I suppose was some sort of military base (Stargate Command?), there was this balding, gray-haired older gentleman named Borsch (which is actually a Russian soup...) who was lamenting something or other about having wasted his youth. Then this lady, who I guess was a fairy of some sort, showed up. Apparently she had the power to travel back and forth through time, and even bring other people with her. She took him back through time, and he appeared younger (about 20-something); his hair was now brown, as was the goatee he was now sporting. Then the base was under attack by some opposing force (a bunch of armed soldiers wearing what appeared to be those anti-radiation suits people wear on TV, but they were red and black and you couldn't see their faces behind the visors). The enemy soldiers were marching up a sharply sloped path toward the main part of the base. From the top of that slope, Borsch slid down the path, as if it were a slide, avoiding the enemies as he slid past them; I think he was on his way to do something heroic to save the day (although I can't remember what for the life of me). I remember seeing the stargate at the bottom, but I don't think anyone did anything with it. Some time passes, and for some reason, he had the fairy-like woman take him back to the future...I guess he had resolved to live more contently in the present...or something. Don't remember. Then I myself was there; I had the fairy-lady take me, Jaron and Trent to the past, to a time before Josh had broken his electric guitar. We ended up in Slip's garage. I sat down and plugged the aforementioned guitar into the amp and started playing. Jaron plugged in Slip's electric guitar and played also (weird, considering he's the last person I'd expect to play any instrument...ever). Slip came in last and looked around for an instrument, so I told him to pick up my bass, and that I'd handle the lead guitar. Jaron started playing some random riff, which Slip followed on bass. I then kicked in with some pretty cool improv soloing. Then some big black dude came in and told us we needed to wrap things up. I made some comment about how the song we were playing showed a lot of promise, but Trent and Jaron looked dubious about that. That's all I can remember.

[Lëzen]

Was too lazy to post this on the 21st...so here it is now. Note also that today's entry is beneath this one. 9/21/08 After a relatively dreamless month, I had an explosion of vivid dreams. Here's what I can remember about each: I Hate My Neighbors I had this jumbled dream where I was living in a boarding house with a variety of strange people. The strangest of those people was this scientist woman, and I was rather pissed at her for conducting her strange and disgusting experiments in my room. Once I entered my room to see two female midgets performing tribadism, with a sickly yellow liquid flowing out from their genitalia; I was furious that the disgusting fluids were getting all over my floor and soaking into my carpet. Apparently it was the various amniotic fluids and such that fill the womb while pregnant, and the mad-scientist woman needed it for yet another warped experiment (with further reading on this subject, I discovered that yellow amniotic fluids are the result of a hemolytic disease; normally the fluids should be green). I confronted her and yelled at her about it, but I think she sort of gave me some feministic threat that she'd castrate me as an experiment...or something. The next time I entered my room, wild cats and tarantulas of strange black and yellow striped color started bolting out toward me from under the bed. I jumped onto the bed, grabbed my longest katana and impaled a spider with it. Then there was one of my fellow boarders - this huge black guy who, by the look of his "clothes", looked like he originated straight out of an African tribe. He told me the whole thing was yet another experiment the scientist had done just to spite me, and he helped me kill the odd-colored tarantulas by smashing them with a club. I went to threaten the scientist woman again, this time with the aforementioned black guy (as well as a few other fellow boarders) as support, and I grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against the wall, giving a more convincing and frightening threat. She then agreed to stop conducting her bizarre experiments in my room. Typical Day at the Mall Then had this short dream where I went to this sort of mall or something with Slip and Josh. We were there to use the studio recording equipment that the place rented out as a service, but I'd forgotten to bring my bass, so we just sort of sat around this area with a little pool (I mean little - about 5' by 5'). My cousin Erika was wading around in it, and I could see that her bikini bottoms were slipping, exposing a large portion of her buttcrack. I looked away and saw Josh offering me a condom. I saw that he was reaching into his pants to put his on. I was confused, but I did as he did anyway. Later, Slip was driving me home. It was night, and we were hugging the hillside...in the direction where the moon was, there was this strange green light being emitted, which I thought was lovely. The 'scene' then jumped back to the mall we were just at, in an episode of the Boondocks. Granddad and some other old guy were chasing Riley through a series of tubes not unlike the ones found in McDonald's Playlands. One of the old guys who was chasing him, who was pretty fat, got stuck in one of the tubes, allowing Riley to escape successfully. Bolt 1! Oh teh noes!!1 I is outta MP!!!11 (DILD) I'm not exactly sure how this one started out...I think I was just hanging around the house, when I decided to play a game. What I put on was some sort of Stargate SG-1 video game, and I was playing as Sam. I don't remember much about the game, other than it was pretty interesting. At one point I put down the game and started walking to school (weird, considering my school is a city away). While walking down the deserted highway (the sky was overcast, as if rain was imminent), I ran into Slip, who was heading in the opposite direction. He told me something that made me turn back the other way as well - probably said class was canceled. We walked up to this short fence where I had, for some weird reason, put my backpack and other goods for "safe storage", even though anyone could have seen it and taken it. Slip said he was parched, so I gave him a water bottle to drink. Eventually we reached one of our houses, and I looked at a silver ring on my finger that was shaped like a crown. I made some remark about it before having a false awakening. I was lying in bed, and I had my eyes closed. I kept feeling presences...like someone was quietly opening my door, looking in on me, and then leaving again. I knew this wasn't possible because, IRL, my family had gone off to Disneyland for a few days. So I opened my eyes and tried to look at my hands, but my head wouldn't move...although for some reason, my arms could. I grabbed my immobile head (which was on its side) and turned it, making it face up, and then I looked at my hands. The was nothing irregular about them, other than the fact that there was a crown-shaped ring on my finger... Then it hit me: "I'm wearing something that I had in my dream! That's impossible, so I must still be dreaming!" Then I could move again, and so I tried then to do stuff like shoot lightning out of my finger; I succeeded in that once, but then I couldn't do it anymore (plus it was a very weak bolt of lightning to begin with). I went into Rachel's room, noticing that my family was around, but none of them noticed me at all. I then tried to summon some people to do things I don't feel like mentioning, but instead of the actual people being there, I saw them animated on this birthday card-like thing. Then I woke up fo' rizzle. Devolution So this was a pretty weird little dream...it involved a demo of some sort of video game that involved the descendants of Muslims. As the story went, the Muslim people were basically wiped out, with their few remnants being forced to live in an aquatic environment. Through generations of surviving in water, however, they evolved into Sahagin-like creatures that wanted to take over the world. Most of the game centers around this scholar guy in a library, gathering information about how the Muslims came to be these creatures. At one point, the library was overrun with Muslim-Sahagins, and the place was suddenly filled half-way with water. What happened next involved this woman telling a younger girl how to slay the evil Muslim-Sahagin matriarch (which was by lighting the thing on fire with a torch and kicking it off the high ledge they'd be standing on, into the water below). The girl confronted the matriarch, but there was a slight hitch in the plan - she came plummeting down into the water with it. The woman who'd tutored her dove in after her, apparently worried, and it turned out that while the fall had killed the Muslim-Sahagin matriarch, the girl had survived. The woman and her pupil then began to make out in the water. Time Jumpers This dream played out like an episode of some seventies show like Goosebumps. The story centered around this black teenager hanging out at a school library, and he was starting to notice something strange going on. Basically, he was stuck in a time loop, living the same day over and over again. No one else but him seemed to notice this. Just when he thought he would go insane, he was visited by a guy who looked just like Tony Amendola (Bra'tac from SG-1). He was apparently some sort of time jumper, and wanted this kid to be the next one. He gave him three mystical items...one was a pair of glasses (that I can't remember the function of); one was a golden chain sort of thing that acted a lot like the hookshot from Zelda; and I can't remember the other one, but it apparently made you able to fly. Don't remember an awful lot more, other than that the kid had to go through some trials to prove his worth as the next time jumper. Fragment This fragment had something to do with an ancestor of FFIV's protagonist, Cecil, battling the forces of nature...namingly, a volcano. Probably inspired by an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender I saw where Avatar Roku did the same thing. 9/27/08 Predictable Funny how this one came to be... Yesterday I got an invitation from one of my friends to his birthday party, and noticed that he CC'd my ex-girlfriend. I told myself "Watch, just by noticing this, I'm gonna have a dream about her tonight." And lo and behold... Anyway, there's not much to tell about the dream, other than it involved plenty of ex-girlfriend frigidity and "why'd you REALLY break up with me?" interrogatives. ABUSE THE ELDERLY! So here's strange for you. I was at some weird kind of rally thing with Slip. We were sitting in a seat watching speakers come up and tell their life stories, having been ex-crackheads and such. Then Slip and I did something that I'm just not going to tell you, because I'd like to keep my dignity, thank you very much. Anyway, after that, I got up and had a look around the building we were in. I came across a door that looked like a bathroom door, only on the plaque there was a caricature of a long-haired man with a halo, and "Christ" written underneath it. Beneath the plaque was a laminated sign that said "Only the First Four Permitted". It just struck me as very funny and I had to laugh. Then, as if to tell me how this bathroom came to be, the dream made me take the perspective of another man. I guess I was a designer who had the task of designing bathrooms for the rally building. I was sitting at a table with whom I suppose was my girlfriend. Four old people (a short-haired, fit old woman; her sister, a long-haired, out-of-shape old woman; this huge "Igor"-looking old man with a hunched back; and someone else I didn't get a good look at) approached me and told me to show them what I had done for the bathroom design. I led them to the bathroom I had designed - it was pretty nice, with polished granite lining the sinks and polished marble lining the floor, walls and ceiling. I also seem to remember there being an empty McDonald's fry cup attached to the wall for no apparent reason whatsoever (design flaw, maybe?). They disapproved of my bathroom, so I got angry and stormed out, only to find myself in another, more cushy bathroom. The lighting in here was teal, as was the color of the frilly toilet seat cover and the rugs...and the sofas (wtf?). Anyway, the four old folks followed me in and ordered me to get out - the bathroom was supposedly meant for "Christ when he returns", and that only "The First Four", which I'm assuming was them, could step foot in it. Then I realized that they did not mean Jesus Christ, but rather the anti-Christ. Then the fit old woman with the short hair procured a shotgun. I wrested it from her hands, but they apparently had more, and began shooting at me - in a panic, jumped out of the bathroom window. I landed on a grassy field below, which I ran across as the First Four began shooting at me from the windows of the building from which I had just narrowly escaped. I noticed that it was nighttime by this point. Anyway, there was a deserted house across the way, so it was there that I took cover from the barrage of bullets. Then I guess I was no longer the designer guy, and I was myself again...Slip had somehow found his way to the abandoned house and was taking cover as well. The Four were shooting in our direction from the windows of the rally building. I checked the chamber of the shotgun I had stolen and it was empty. Then, the girl who was the designer guy's girlfriend called out to me from the window I had previously jumped out of, dropping a whole crateful of shotgun shells out onto the field below. I ran out and grabbed it, dodging bullets all the way, and making it back safely into the rundown house. I loaded the shotgun and, from one of the windows, aimed carefully at the fit old woman (whom I could see through one of the windows of the rally building) and shot; I got her good. Then, Rocky the Squirrel (?) broke in through a window and tried to attack me...I grabbed him and severed his head on the jagged remnants of the window pane he had burst through. I then went to find another one of the Four to aim at, and someone started shooting at me with a machine gun. It was the fit old woman who I thought I had just killed. I turned the light on my shotgun off and ceased fire for a while. She went back into the building so I followed her quietly. I entered what looked like a bedroom, and there was this cheesy old song playing, and I heard the lyrics "We live forever in each other". I saw the long-haired, unfit old woman asleep in a bed, with her sister's ghost standing over her and singing those lyrics. So I loaded in a round and shot the one in bed - the music abruptly stopped, and the ghost of the short-haired old woman I had killed looked horrified, and then vanished. "Two more", thought I. I set out to find the huge Igor-like man next, but I was stopped by my cat, who jumped on my arm, teeth and claws ablaze. I easily subdued him...there was heavy metal playing in the background through all this, and when there was a pause in the music, the cat hissed at me, which I thought was pretty hilarious. Then I woke up.

[Lëzen]

10/3/08 Magic Mirror In this dream, I was sitting around in the living room along with two sets of African-American twins (two young boys and two young girls) as siblings. My mom and some wizened, Yoda-like old man were there as well. Someone had just found a magical mirror with a wooden frame - supposedly if you set it down in a chair, it would act as a portal through which you could enter the Hall of Heroes. The old man told us that we'd be able to visit this place once, but that we'd have to destroy the mirror afterward -in essence, it wouldn't exactly be a good thing if it fell into the wrong hands. But it being the only way to get to the Hall of Heroes, no one really wanted to destroy it. Then I came up with an idea - knowing that it must be completely whole in order to work, I suggested cutting off a piece of the wooden frame, storing it somewhere safe, and gluing it back on whenever we needed to get to the Hall. Everyone seemed impressed with my evidently brilliant suggestion, and my mom went to find a buzz saw. At that point, I decided I'd hop in the shower really quick. In passing I noted there was a Japanese hiragana character (forget which, there's like friggin' 60) on the shower curtain. In the shower, I was putting loads of blue gel in my hair for some weird reason (unless it was shower gel?). I read the gel bottle and it said something strange, but I don't remember exactly what. Then I noticed I was wearing odd clothes, and so I stepped out of the shower to look at myself in the mirror. I found my face and hair looking like those of this really effeminate emo guy I've seen around IRL, and my clothes were cowboy attire - tight jeans, a red flannel shirt, and a white cowboy hat. I remember thinking I looked "pretty hot as a woman" (effeminate as my face was, I might as well have been), then disrobed again and hopped back into the shower. Woke up shortly thereafter.

[Lëzen]

10/19/08 Chip Wars: The Piranha Plant Menace It started out with me and some other people trying out a demo for Guitar Hero World Tour. Apparently it featured some kind of mode where you could create your own characters - it was far more flexible than any create-a-character feature I've seen in a video game thus far. A couple of the characters I saw on the character-creator were Relm from FFVI and Wolf from Star Fox. We screwed around with that game for a while. Later, I was back at the apartment complex, and I noticed something was strange - there was very little gravity. I jumped around for a while, enjoying the floatiness of it all. Then I went into my apartment, but when I got inside, it wasn't the inside of my apartment - it was the inside of some sort of starship. I was dressed in some sort of US army uniform (just the pants, boots, and a black shirt). I looked around and noticed the ship was full of women - it seemed to that I had stumbled upon a clan of amazon-like nomads who roamed the galaxy by starship. Needless to say, they took me and threw me in a prison cell for being a man. Looking around the prison cell, I noticed that the room looked a wee bit like my bedroom. I started rummaging around the closet and found my old toy X-wing fighter from Star Wars. It turned into a life-sized fighter and I hopped in and blew a hole in the wall, escaping into space. I flew around the perimeter of the nomads' ship, and saw a vent with something stuck in it. It was a strange type of computer chip that I'd obviously been looking for. At that moment, a group of thugs boarded the nomads' ship and began pillaging, looking for the chip that was right in front of me. I opened the cockpit visor (for some reason, the air didn't rush out into the vacuum) and grabbed the chip. I was able to see through the vent's shutters, and I could see into one of the nomad's bed chambers. There was a pregnant nomad who looked like she was about to go into labor. Then the door to her room opened and a thug came in. Before he could do anything, though, I blasted a hole in the wall, causing the thug to get sucked out into space. I dunno what it was I was doing (perhaps I was covering the hole I had made with the front of my ship), but I was somehow inhibiting the suction to give her enough time to escape through the door. She got out safely, and I left. Then the scene changed to the inside of the female nomads' ship, and the leader (a very short-tempered woman) decided to release who I guess were my fellow soldiers that she'd had locked up. The military men filed out of the prison cell they were in and gathered weapons and drove off the remaining thugs. Then, things got weird. I was within Earth's atmosphere again when the chip I had gotten started acting strange. It stuck itself to the control console of my ship (which by now no longer looked like an X-wing, but like a flying station wagon). It began to assimilate the machinery around it into similar chips, which then began to reassemble themselves. I knew they were replicators from Stargate SG-1. I ejected from the ship and somehow found myself as Luigi. I was with Mario, and we were trying to escape the replicators, who had transformed the ship into a huge monster with a Piranha Plant head that kept shooting out toward us and trying to eat us. We kept running in blind panic, throwing fireballs behind us every now and then. It seemed to work - we came to a small lake (which meant a dead-end), and we looked behind us to see that this thing had a life bar. We threw fireballs at it furiously until its life bar was depleted. There was more to it, but it's too fuzzy to recall. Had a short dream that involved me and Slip hiking down this very steep hill. I remember listening to One by Metallica on my iPod as we made our descent. Slip was talking about how the singer in some new band he started listening to would suddenly switch from a low-pitched, gravelly singing voice to a high, screeching falsetto. We reached the bottom of the hill and both found ourselves with a mighty need to urinate. We found a public restroom where there was one toilet and one urinal...Slip went in and started peeing into the toilet. I tried to enter, but as I was coming in, I found the door was too narrow for my bulky backpack to fit through. I forced myself through, causing me to stumble and land by backpack in the urinal. I groaned, and Slip said something about how the janitors probably haven't gotten a chance to clean anything yet, so that my backpack must probably be urine-soaked. Then I woke up.

[Lëzen]

11/16/08 The New Indiana Jones I can't remember an awful lot of this one, since my recall seems to only be getting worse and worse. I was on some sort of quest to thwart these four...fiends. I don't really know what they were up to, but all I know was that they were evil. Basically, the quest consisted of looking for certain relics which acted as the keys to entering the fiends' fortresses. At one point I managed to do something to draw the attention of the four away from me, so that I was able to sneak into one of their fortresses with a relic I had (a diamond ring). Slip was suddenly with me, and he was talking on his cell phone and eating some bread. I noticed that a ragged, dirt-caked little beggar girl was following us. She asked us in Spanish if we had any food to spare. Slip shooed her away and continued to eat his bread. In Spanish I apologized for his rudeness, saying that he was just being a pig (or at least, that's what I TRIED to say, but instead of the word for pig [cerdo] I distinctly remember saying the word for crow [cuervo]). We came to this little shack and decided to break there. There was this Cuban-looking guy resting on a little futon (the original Japanese type of futon). When he looked at me, his eyes widened, and in a sudden fit of rage, he tackled me. Slip managed to break us up, saying that if we were going to fight, we should do it in a more organized manner. Then the dream switches to the third person, so that I can see myself. For some reason I was wearing a gray top hat and matching mantle as I circled the guy in a duel-like fashion. I don't remember what he had for a weapon, but I had a whip. My Cuban opponent was accusing me of being the man who killed his young daughter. I ended up whoopin' (and whippin') him good, and as he lay defeated, the little girl who had followed us started jeering at the guy, saying something like "Ha-ha! You couldn't even avenge your own daughter!" I then got the distinct feeling that she was his daughter, and that the guy didn't recognize her because she was covered in dirt. Then, without warning, various undead creatures - zombies and blade-wielding skeleten warriors (Stalfos, anyone?) started popping out of the ground and attacking us. With my whip, I started mowing them down, and I assumed Slip, the Cuban guy (and quite possibly the little girl) were following suit. Then I woke up.

[Lëzen]

Hot damn. It's been nearly a month since I've had a dream memorable enough to write down. Well, here you go: 12/13/08 Come, My Padawan Had a brief dream about being a Jedi. I saw Celes, and she had somehow gotten separated from her "partner" (I knew she meant Terra). I told her I was a Jedi Knight looking for an apprentice to train, and, knowing she was already a great swordswoman experienced in the art of battle, asked her if she would do me the honor. She looked surprised, but agreed, so I gave her her own lightsaber (but aren't Jedi supposed to make their own? Whatever.). We went on this mission where we each snuck aboard a grounded Trade Federation Fighter (from The Phantom Menace) and flew them to the nearest Trade Federation Battleship. We got into a few conflicts with battle droids along the way, but for the most part, we were pretty inconspicuous in the whole "sneaking-around-in-enemy-territory" affair. God Save the King It started out with me in what looked like a department store of some sort, like Walmart, only it was completely empty of all the things that would make a department store a department store - no items, no shelves, nothing. Just a building. The view was top-down, as if I were playing an old Zelda or FF game - the graphics were also pixelated as such, so throughout the dream I saw myself as a sprite walking around and talking to other pixelated people. From what I could gather, the building was being used as a fortress - a monarch and the remainder of his army were preparing as best they could to fortify the place in anticipation of some imminent siege. Then the characters from FFV were there, for some reason, and they were assisting the king and his soldiers with the preparations. I, however, just continued to gather intelligence. I found the king himself and asked him what was going on. He told me about how his arch enemy, another king of another kingdom, had decimated his realm. He bitterly recounted the hit-and-run tactics that his rival's military was so famous for. He cracked a joke that went more or less like: "Their battle cry has always been: 'RUN!' So, naturally, our battle cry has always been: 'Don't flee, you cowards!'" That made everyone laugh. Then he made some comment about his current domain: "I know it doesn't look much like a castle - in fact, it was originally supposed to be a store. But let's just say, one thing led to another..." From there, I just walked around with the king, observing and asking more questions. There were a group of soldiers whose armor was different than that of the rest of the soldiers, so I asked the king if they were elites. He snorted and told me the contrary - they were actually the peons of his forces. I talked to one of them, and he gave me his weapon (a spear), and so I think what was expected of me was to go around and talk to other peons, trading weapons since they weren't proficient with the ones they had...or something like that. Typical video game "trade sequence". I was stopped short of doing all of that, however, when the enemy had arrived prematurely. Their army was fairly massive (at least compared to the one barricading the department store). It didn't look like it was going to go well for our side, until a bunch of pits (looked like the ones from Link to the Past) opened up beneath the ranks of the opposing forces, causing a majority of them to fall to their doom. With that, our forces greatly outnumbered their forces, and so they surrendered to us. Then the screen flips down to the basement level of the building, and there were a bunch of black mages down there; I guess they used spells that would cause the ground beneath the enemy to rip open. Each one of them had their own little monologue (I couldn't help but notice that most of them sounded female) before the screen switched back to the main room of the department store building. Everybody was in celebration, and some girl wearing her pajamas (sweat shorts and a tank top) was honoring the FFV characters (for SOME weird reason - shouldn't it have been the heroic mages?) by bestowing upon them some sort of medal or other honorific item...I seem to remember Bartz and Lenna getting a pair of sunglasses. I think Agrias from FF Tactics was there too, and she received a jewel resembling a sun. Then I awoke.

[Lëzen]

12/16/08 A Queer Dream (Pun Intended!) I'm not entirely sure how this one started off, but it revolved around the next-door neighbors - they weren't my RL neighbors, but then again, I wasn't myself...I seemed to be this buff, devilishly handsome cop dude. I was investigating the neighbors' suspicious activities - they were apparently all gay guys (there might have been a lesbian or two in there somewhere), and as such, they ran a small organization advocating gay rights. But I had the distinct feeling they were up to no good. I talked with whom I suppose was my wife (who was extremely hot, by the way - I got to see her topless!) before heading out into the living room. There I saw one of the neighbors standing near the dining room table. He was mentally retarded, obviously, since he kept pointing out that the packs of sliced cheese sitting on the table had "too many slices - there's only supposed to be four if balance is to be restored". He then went to try and rearrange it the way he wanted, but I picked up one of the packs, called him a retard and slapped him across the face with it. I told him something to the effect of "I know what kind of sick business you supposed 'freedom fighters' are running next door!" before chasing him out of the house. I don't remember an awful lot after that, other than seeing a couple cheesy pro-gay commercials made by the queers next door.

[Lëzen]

12/20/08 Getting The Ax Had another strange one...jumbled and senseless, as per usual. The first thing I can remember was walking down a random street downtown with whom I think was Slip. We passed this black guy and his white friend, and the black guy said something to us as we passed. I took offense and I stopped, as if to turn around and teach him a lesson, but Slip was trying to talk me out of it. But the black guy was going on and on, and eventually he came over and started trying to beat Slip up [why a second degree black belt didn't try to defend himself, I don't know]. Then I pretty much launched myself at the guy and started beating the tar outta him. After he finally said uncle, we had a few words with his white friend, who was apologizing for his friend's behavior...then we continued on our way. Later, I was sitting around at home, and Rachel came in through the front door, saying that she saw Ryan driving around in a red sports car. Mom told me I should go down and talk to him, so I went downstairs and looked around outside, but I couldn't see any red sports cars. I walked around for a while, and I came upon an apartment with its front window open, and a couple guys getting apprehended by the police in front of it. The guys were trying to explain that it was their friend's house, and that they couldn't get in, but they got taken away anyway. I talked to an officer with a big, black mustache and round glasses, and he took me to the window (where the guys had tried to break in) and pointed out a "mongoose" - it was actually some huge serpentine creature with a weird-ass face that is totally indescribable. The officer talked about how these "mongooses" are great as home security, as they will eat intruders. Then I had a vision of this family enjoying some home entertainment - a couple of guys would go to the front of the room and act out the events of the story being played on a record player. The baby was sitting in its high chair, and near it was the family's "mongoose". The chain holding the strange creature in check broke, and it went over to the baby and swallowed it whole. The parents were despaired, but as it turned out, the baby was still alive - it can be heard laughing playfully inside of the thing. The mother picked up an ax and cornered the "mongoose", which apparently could talk, as it was begging her not to kill it. She said something to the effect of "sorry, but this is the final straw". She hit it in the middle of the head with the back side of the ax, which had a spike, killing it. Then she used the bladed side to hack the head off at the neck and eventually got her baby out. That's all that I can recall at the moment.

[Lëzen]

Wow. I found this thread on the seventh, count it, SEVENTH page. That's an all-time low for me. Perhaps it's a sign that I need to start...you know...dreaming again. Anyway, here's a dream from December that I forgot to post...following it will be my dream from this morning. 12/27/08 Fightin' The MAN! The only thing I can remember first is being in the middle school across the street (only it was supposed to be a high school, and was much bigger than IRL). I was marching in a single file line with fellow students, and we were all being flanked by teachers and counselors. Apparently we were all in trouble. Eventually the line split - the front half of the line crossed over into one section of the school, while the rear half, which I was in, went in another direction. We were near where the gym was, and I knew exactly how I could escape and what route I would take home - if I weren't being watched. Many times I tried to look for an opening, but there was always some teacher/counselor watching. At one point one of them talked to me and some of my fellow students about discipline, and I looked him in the eyes with a scowl and told him "You're not administering discipline, you're treating us like prisoners!" I guess there was a light rail station right next to where we were, and soon a train pulled in. Many people flooded out of the doors of the train, carrying cotton candy and balloon animals as if they had just been to a carnival. I disappeared into the crowd when none of the teachers were looking, and successfully boarded the light rail. I guess I was the only one on the train now, so I went up to where the operator was, and I recognized her as one of my old bus drivers IRL. I asked her where we were headed, and she told me the next stop was at Winchester station...which is three cities away in San Jose. I went into the back end of the train, and there were a few people there - one girl was loading her laundry into a washer. I don't remember an awful lot after that, other than this thing where I was in a classroom waiting for Slip to show up, observing a few gallons of milk that had gone past their expiration dates. 2/26/09 Furries Are People Too Only remember the last few minutes of this dream, but...at one point I remember seeing the cast of FF6 (or most of it) walking around in a forest...suddenly, Relm got a call on her cell from her grandpa, Strago. It was a strange conversation, I knew, because Relm was looking more and more embarassed by the second - apparently, all her friends could hear their conversation. The only line I could remember was Strago's parting words: "And bring back some furries. They're people too, you know." In the background, the other characters, hearing this, unzipped their skins as if they were costumes, and a bunch of cartoonish, chibi-ish sheep came out. Relm turned to look back at her companions and was like "WTF?" to see just a bunch of sheep there. After this, the scene faded back to "real life", and I was in my bedroom toying around with this effects pedal for my bass (I don't have it IRL, but I really want to buy it). I was trying to turn on the distortion, but every time I played a note, it just came out normally. I thought maybe I had to turn the amp up louder, but that didn't work either. I just remember getting really pissed and depressed, knowing that the thing was broken and that I had no warranty on it, so I was basically out $300 (which is about how much this particular FX pedal actually costs). Then I woke up to some Christian rock on my alarm clock-radio and started dancing stupidly to it, ecstatic that I hadn't blown money on a defective item.

[Lëzen]

Here's a couple more I forgot to post: 2/28/09 Fragments -Something about Invader Zim. Dib was trying to do some experiment, but couldn't because Gaz had maliciously drained the batteries of one of his most crucial pieces of equipment in hopes that it would electrocute her brother or blow him up...or something. He replaced the battery however and continued doing what he was trying to do before, chastising Gaz in a way that actually made her feel ashamed of her actions. Amazingly, they began to get along from then on. -From that last fragment, the scene shifted from Gaz's and Dib's house to my apartment, where I went into the bathroom and took a piss. I flushed the toilet and - guess what - it overflowed! Oh, joy! As usual, I proceeded to "exit stage left" just as the pissy water came spilling over the rim of the toilet bowl. My mom came over to investigate and sighed, knowing what had happened, and was about to start cleaning up...but then I stopped her, saying that since I was the one whose piss was now all over the bathroom floor (and the carpet outside the bathroom door), I should be the one to clean it up. That's all I remember from that one. -Mikey was in my room (which actually looked like my sister's room in our old apartment...), using my computer for some reason - I don't know why. Perhaps to help me reformat my hard drive. I was standing around watching what he was doing, and he found a folder that was full of zora porn. I was unable to explain why it was there, and I nearly died of embarrassment. Then I left the room to go clean the cats' litter box. Sarah was in the hall and told me I was a cunt as I walked by. I don't know why, but it really pissed me off in the dream, and I motioned as if to chuck the soiled litter at her, then continued on my way, hearing her tell me not to overreact. 3/1/09 "Bet'cha My Ford Does Better McTwists Than Your Chevy!" Had one last night involving Stargate...probably because I watched Continuum. I don't remember much about it, since it was pretty incoherent (I kept waking up all through it, tossing and turing because it was unnaturally hot in my room). I don't know what started the conversation, but I guess I was asking something about Sam. My mom explained to me that Sam had gained special powers when she had a Tok'ra symbiote inside her (I'm not talking about quick healing or immunity to sickness - I mean Geass-type powers). I guess I was also a host to a Tok'ra, since my mom mentioned that I would eventually find out what my own Tok'ra power would be. I said dryly that I would probably go half my life before finally realizing my power, and that even then, it would be a crappy one. Anyway, I guess I was a junior officer in some police academy or something, because I had what was essentially a squirt gun full of this glowing blue liquid that stung something awful when shot with. There was some bum in our house, and he seemed to be making obscene gestures or something. I shot the blue stuff right next to him to try and scare him, but he just kind of rubbed his finger in it and licked it - I was shocked. My mom then told me something about how I should be more merciful to my family. Incredulously I exclaimed that this bum wasn't family. For some reason, I had some sort of flashback about me fighting in a war with nothing but my gun full of blue liquid. There was this enemy tank across the way that was raining down shots of energy everywhere, leveling multiple buildings. My commanding officer told me not to engage the enemy, since I only had a trainee's weapon, but I fired at it anyway. I didn't hit it at all (the shots fell just short of my target). The tank then focused its fire in my direction, but its shots were also falling just short of me, and I kind of made a sarcastic comment to my commanding officer about that. Then the scene jumped again to Sam's apartment. She entered this secret area via a rotating wall. I was there with her, but she didn't know - I guess I was snooping around - so I entered along with her. I actually got separated from her, however, and I wandered the dark halls alone. Then I encountered two thug-looking guys, who looked like they were about to hurt me. Sam busted in at that point, performing amazing acrobatics and martial arts combat with a quarter staff; she kicked their asses good. I told her "That's the Sam we all know and love!". She asked me how I had gotten in here, and I lied and said I had no idea. Then the scene shifted again. I was in a desert along with Cameron Mitchell and Teal'c...they were taking turns jumping those huge skateboard ramps you see in the XGames...only they were doing the jumps in their pickup trucks. Yep. Pickup trucks. A couple of cadets that had a message for Cam and Teal'c came up to me and asked me where they were to be found, at which point I gestured behind me to the pickup trucks flying through the air. They looked dumbfounded. I told the cadets they could stay and wait for them to finish, since I needed to go somewhere. I warned one of them not to fall into any quicksand. One of them did fall into quicksand, however. But instead of dying, he fell through to another area. He entered this little cave and found a Great Fairy from Ocarina of Time, only she looked different...and by that, I mean she was wearing rope bondage - her nipples were clearly visible, and I found myself wondering just what Nintendo was thinking, approving the game for younger audiences when there was something like this in it. I think the fairy proceeded to give the cadet a blowjob or something. After he got off, the fairy went crazy and started throwing dishes and other random crap at him, at which point he ran off. Don't remember much else.

[Lëzen]

Gah...keep finding old ones that I forgot to post. Luckily, I think these are the last...for now. 10/5/08 "I Made A Darth-DOODY!" Vaguely remember watching (or maybe being in?) an episode of Family Guy that featured the cast in their Star Wars Special personas...perhaps they were doing Empire Strikes Back. I seem to remember Darth Stewie and Chris having a little lightsaber duel whilst exchanging some pretty funny insults. After that, I found myself in this beautiful little area...there was this huge swimming pool-like thing in a kind of backyard, garden-like area. It was night, but the area was kept lit by a comfortable golden light. I dove underwater and looked around - there were colored tiles here and there on the floor of the pool, and a zora lady swam over to me, and then started swimming around randomly to different colored tiles. I think she intended for me to follow her, so that I could unlock some sort of secret. I did follow her around for a while, but I woke up before anything else happened. Fragments -Humans are actually Martians invading China (WTF? Don't remember this one at ALL.) -Had this brief dream about riding around in some trolley in a metropolitan, downtown area...actually, it was more like a gondola. At one point, I fell out of the trolley, and I fell about one storey onto the street below, but I was unharmed. I somehow caught up with the trolley and climbed back in, looking at my fellow passengers sheepishly. What Is Love, Sensei? I was in what was supposed to be my Japanese class, only Sakai-sensei was making us do "presentations" - and by that, I mean making us go up to the front of the room (which was a lot like a stage) and perform some dance routines to certain songs. Someone up on stage finished up and, as if to joke around, sensei played on his drum set (WTF?) the beat that you always hear in comedy when someone says something that's supposed to be funny but nobody laughs. Then it was my turn to go up, and I was completely unprepared. When I got up there, What Is Love by Haddaway was playing, and for lack of a better thing to do, I just started banging my head and playing air-guitar wildly. At one point during my performance, Alex and David, these twins I knew back in middle school (but who aren't even in my Japanese class) got up onstage and performed with me, similarly playing air guitars. One of them said, in a William Shatner-esque voice "I'm not the MAN I used to be!" (a slight reference to Shatner's performance of "Rocketman", I think). For some reason, this impressed everyone and was considered the best "presentation" of the class. 10/7/08 Fragment -All I remember about this fragment was that Slip was a grave robber of some sort. When everyone found out it was him who was desecrating the graves, we were all sorely disappointed in him. That Darn Key... Here I dreamt I was playing what was supposed to be a sequel to Twilight Princess, only the graphics and to-do's were all Fable-like. I was wandering around the ruins of a creepy old stone house...the sky was dark with thunderclouds and the landscape outside was dark and eerie. In the middle of the ruins was this cauldron sitting over a flame. The whole scene was remnant of Halloween. I was walking around the ruins, digging around with a spade. I kept digging up more spades, and so I collected them, figuring I'd just sell them at a shop for some extra gold. By collecting them, I guess I beat some sort of challenge, since a little message box popped up and said something about it. I think after that I had a few short fights with some enemies that popped out of the ground before starting to look around for a key that I needed. I seem to remember this part where I had to climb a tower (literally, climb on its outer walls and ledges, as well as various crates stacked about). It was pretty frustrating, but I managed to get to the top and get the key eventually. Then my mom notified me that there was someone at the front door...I looked over and Jaron was standing at the screen with a super-soaker (or some similar long-ranged water gun) that I suppose he was intending to give me as an early birthday present. We talked for a while on the porch, but that's all I can remember.

[Lëzen]

Forgot to post yesterday. 3/11/09 Milk and Kool-Aid This one was a little jumbled, but I can remember me taking this sort of blacksmithing class or something. There were these two plastic things that looked like clear Slime enemies from Dragon Warrior. I wanted to melt them in the forge for some reason. Then I remember being at home, where my family was hanging around, watching a movie. I poured myself a glass of milk, but did not realize that there was kool-aid powder in the cup. This turned the milk red and kool-aidy. I took a sip anyway, wondering how it would taste, but it tasted like crap, so I ended up spitting it out in the kitchen sink. Then I think Jar Jar Binks was there, and he was drinking a glass of what I had accidentally poured; he was raving about how good it was. Then Mike came into the kitchen and said something about him just having to try, since I set a precedent, or something like that...then, I remember this thing involving a little boy raised by nuns who was growing very quickly. At one point, he looked like a full-grown man, and a couple of nuns were making him adult-sized robes. I suppose a weird addition to the ensemble was to put a dead goat on his shoulders, but one of the nuns thought that it was inappropriate to give what was technically still a child an adult's ceremonial lamb. The other nun cut the hooves off, asking if it was any better that way, but the one nun just said that it looked kind of silly. Then I briefly recall this thing where a girl who was a part of a rich family (and who was very stuck on herself) discovered that she was not the only child, and that she had a very ugly older brother (kinda looked like the guy in the background of that "Pizza Whisperer" commercial). The next thing I know, I'm at this office or something. There were a couple receptionist girls my age at the desk (one of whom was black, the other white), and for some reason, we started singing together the Star Wars theme. At one point one of them told me I was singing the wrong part, and I asked something like "But shouldn't I be singing the harmony here?" That's all I recall.

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From this morning. 3/12/09 Bowling for Colum...Wait, What School is This? The repetitive mantra "I will remember my dream tonight" before bed really seems to be getting results... Anyway, the first thing I can remember from this one is being in a college classroom with a professor and other students. I think it was some kind of sex education class...I guess. Anyway, I was sitting in a desk by the wall farthest from the front door, and I knew the events that were about to take place, even though I didn't say anything to anyone about it. Perhaps I just wanted to stay away and not be a victim. Then it happened - gunshots could be heard outside. Two guys, both dressed in 20's style New Yorker clothing, were shooting at people outside. I knew beforehand that they would only kill two people outside the classroom, while the rest would get away. Sure enough, that's what happened. For a while things calmed down, but I knew that soon they would come into this classroom and kill at least one person (hoping it wasn't me). And, as predicted, they came into the classroom and started shooting toward the girl closest to the front door. She was right in their path of bullets, yet somehow many of the bullets failed to hit her. Eventually, though, she got shot fatally and died. At this point, the professor (who in the dream reminded my of my freshman year sex ed. teacher, Mr. Tari) intervened. He performed this high kick that got the younger, shorter shooter across the face, knocking him unconscious. He then disarmed the older shooter - I think he kicked the shotgun out of his arms - and began to fight him. The struggle was pretty epic...at one point, they both started grabbing objects with which to do each other damage, and the prof got a hold of what was supposed to be one of the students' science projects: this little cube with long, steel spikes sticking out in just about every direction. I think he pretty much swatted the shooter in the face with it, ending the skirmish. Later, I found myself heading toward the cafeteria of whatever school I was at, ready for lunch. The path I was walking was full of sand from the beach, and there were rocks and seashells here and there that I kept stepping on painfully; I was barefoot. I noticed this, and also noticed that I was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. I figured that I had left my clothes along with my backpack in the sex ed. class, so I trudged all the way back through the sandy passage (with great difficulty). I found my clothes and for some reason, umbrella, in the classroom. As I clothed myself, I heard the prof having a conversation with a student, who was saying that he would like to pursue a teaching job in this subject, and the prof was explaining to him how to go about doing that. Then, for some reason, the issue of racism came up, and there was something about the American flag and afros... Anyway, I left the classroom again, only this time, as I looked up at the sky (it was late afternoon by this point), I could see a dark blue, filmy mist enveloping the sky. It was moving fast like in those videos where recordings of nature are sped up. This pretty much cast the school into darkness (though not complete darkness), and I saw students running away in panic...hadn't they had a rough enough day, what with the shooters and all? Then Slip found me, telling me something like "here they come!" I noticed he had a sword in hand. I looked down at my own hand, and instead of the umbrella I was previously carrying, I too, was carrying a sword. I looked straight ahead and saw what looked like these white knights in bright, glowing white armor, heading straight for us. So, Slip and I started the mayhem. We soon found ourselves running through the school in a synchronized manner, doing away with the bright knights in an orderly fashion. I remember thinking how cool we looked with our motions so synchronized, as he was brandishing his sword left-handed (IRL, he is a lefty) and I was doing it right-handed, so it kind of looked like a mirror effect. Then my blasted alarm clock went off.

[Lëzen]

3/17/09 "Paizuri, Onegai Shimasu" Warning: X-rated material So this started off as a boring night around the house. The lighting was pretty dim everywhere I went; either a small lamp or a computer/TV screen was all that illuminated most of the rooms. I walked into the kitchen and suddenly heard someone playing my bass in my bedroom. I backtracked and peeked through the hall into my open bedroom door. There was this well-built black guy with his head shaved bald sitting on my bed and holding my bass, playing a catchy tune with the slap-and-pop technique. I guessed he was an acquaintance of my parents or something, and I went back into the kitchen, passing my parents as I did so. I lamented something about how much I sucked in comparison to him. My parents fervently agreed with my statement, making further comments about how much better he was than me. This really made me feel like crap...I guess I was thinking something like "That's not what you're supposed to say! You're my parents, you're supposed to tell me that my playing is better!" Anyway, I wandered around the apartment some more and I realized there was an extra bedroom in between Rachel's room and my parents' room. Rach and I went into the room. This room was well-lit, and we saw this fat, bald white guy with facial hair (think Stone Cold Steve Austin, only fat). I don't know why, but something was telling me this guy was our "sister", another sibling we hadn't known about before. He started shizz with me and my little sister, and we ended up fighting him. He would randomly charge at one of us and perform a certain move - high kick, grapple, etc. Each of these attacks left him open for us to counter-attack, and, somehow, we eventually prevailed against him. We left the room and were in the hallway. I looked at the wall and noticed there were odd-shaped tears in the wall, through which I could see both the guy's room and Rach's room. For a while I scoped out the hole through which I could see the guy's room, trying to see whether he was up to no good, but I couldn't see him, so I retired to my bedroom. I turned on my TV (which actually had cable and was where my computer monitor is IRL). Then this strange cartoon came on. It had animation that was like a cross between that of Danny Phantom and Total Drama Island (but more like the former). The scene was at a high school and the narrator described how one of the main characters, who was Mexican-American, was a complete womanizer and slept with many girls at the school. I don't remember what was said about him, but the word Sunday was used. Something like "He'll sleep with you on Sunday and won't call you thoughout the rest of the week", or something to that effect. Then I witnessed some sort of flashback in the show where the main characters are back at elementary school - what seemed to me to be the last day of school - enjoying a recess involving running through sprinklers, playing with water guns/water balloons, etc. One of the girls, who was depicted as like 10 years old or so in the flashback, wasn't wearing a bikini bottom and was holding a water hose, directing the flow of water at her vulva, the labia of which she was holding open with the other hand. She was giving this funny, red-faced look as she was doing it. Then Rachel said something like "that never works", and I said something like "I can't believe they're actually showing prepubescent masturbation in a kids' cartoon, privates and everything!" I then looked at my hands and noticed they were funny-looking, and I think I had a DILD...however, it's entirely possible that it could have been fake, I don't know. I was William Murderface and was walking around shooting lightning out of my hands, demolishing things at random. Then I went into Rachel's room for some reason, and I made a random chick appear on her bed. I began to titty-screw this chick, and before I could reach climax, I found myself lying in the bottom bunk in what used to be Rachel's old room in our old apartment. Heard a voice tell me something like "Aww, too bad. You came so close to orgasm. Next time, next time..." which pretty much told me the lucid dream (if it was real) was over, and I'd have to wait until my next one. Then I just walked around the house some more and everyone was looking as though they needed to leave somewhere - I got the distinct feeling that we didn't live there or something, like we were just visiting someone. After that I just kind of loafed about, wandering around aimlessly. That's all I got for that one.

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3/18/09 Fragment -Don't remember much except for the evil clown from the movie IT. He seemed to control the lives of me and my family. I think he was supposed to embody Satan in some way. At some points I would find myself with clown makeup on my face, a sure sign that the devil wanted to talk to me about something. The only other things I remember are witnessing multiple big rigs in a traffic accident of some sort and Slip showing me some music video with an awesome guitar solo.

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3/23/09 I can only remember very little of either of the dreams I had, but...I'll list what I can recall anyway. Dream 1 -There was this thing where I was in a room with three puppies and two kittens. For some reason, I picked up the nearest puppy and started to squeeze the life out of it, enjoying the sounds of the thing whining and yelping (WTF?). -There was this group of people who had special powers of some sort...don't ask. All I know is that it struck me as very anime-like. I remember that one guy could jump and glide a fairly long distance (think Zelda: Oracle of Ages...Roc's cape + a Pegasus seed), although I don't think this was his main power. There was this older guy among them that nobody seemed to get along with, but I personally liked him. Had a very "old wolf" type of personality. -There was this scene where the older guy got into an argument with this black chick on the team, and she ended up striking him...so he struck her back. -The older guy witnessed something having to do with a goddess-like "chosen one"...it was a girl who appeared in a mystical, glowing white orb. She had no idea of who or where she was, but seemed innocently jolly either way. She found a jar of peanut butter and, having never eaten any before, she started globbing it down. While she was doing this, the older guy led her to where the rest of his team was. -Slip and I were in this place...I was making a burrito for some reason. Slip said he had to leave prematurely, since he had another engagement, and I kind of rolled my eyes in that "not again" type fashion (as he is always doing that sort of thing IRL). I think he actually called whoever it was who needed him over, asking them if they could do without him for at least another half hour, but apparently they needed him immediately. He headed toward his car and I hastily tried to finish making a second burrito for the trip home, since I knew I'd have to go with him - he seemed to have been my only ride. Dream 2 -I was at home, lying on the couch. Mom, Mike and Rachel were also out in the living room. We were all watching the weather channel, since apparently there was an earthquake watch for "The Big One", and the people on the weather channel could predict the earthquake up to a few minutes before it actually occurred. We all sat there, watching it intently. -Suddenly I was at what I guess was my college. Everyone was still paranoid and making all sorts of preparations for "The Big One". The dream just had this air of inevitability about it actually happening. I was pushing this really fat crippled girl in her wheelchair up a series of (somewhat steep) wheelchair-accessible ramps. She told me as we ascended that I was getting a workout...said something like what I was doing was "Equivalent to running up a mountain at 200 miles per hour". Which is apparently a great workout. -Then I met up with Slip and he told me what he'd been doing to help out around the school. I told him what I'd been doing...apparently one of the things was standing around and promoting blues music. No idea why or how. -Then I met some metalhead-looking guy who asked me to help him with something, so I followed him through these hallways, and he was talking with me about Metallica's Death Magnetic album the whole time. I think we were pretty much on the same page in regards to the album. At one point, I rounded a corner in the hall and saw Josh standing to the wall, peeing. For some reason it got all over my hand (I think I stupidly tried to reach under his stream to pick something up). -Eventually I was back outside in the parking lot with Slip, and we knew that the Big One would happen any minute now. I noticed that the fat crippled girl in the wheelchair was on this platform that was about 4 feet high. I said something about that to Slip...something about it being a hazard to her, since she would have no easy way to get down once the Big One came. Then this guy named Jonathan - who's in my Japanese class IRL - came and sat with her. They talked for a couple minutes before she did or said something that made Johnathan yell at her to knock it off. Slip and I shook our heads, talking about how much of an annoying, arrogant dick this guy still was (we really think this of him IRL).

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3/25/09 Fragment -The only thing I can remember is me standing outside, between a gap in the apartment buildings, at night. There was this dog - looked somewhat like a fox, but it was a big dog - and it was circling around me, growling ominously. In order to shoo it away, I pulled out a half-full can of Pringles and started shaking it vigorously (making the chips within rattle loudly) whilst dancing around. I was singing the verse of Bleed It Out by Linkin Park. Then who I think was Sock from Reaper was there to sing the chorus. Dunno why, but it kept the dog away.

[Lëzen]

3/29/09 ♪I'm With You, My Love!♫ Remember something about this girl...started off showing how she looked in the past, at 8 or 9 years old, and she had short hair and her face looked kinda manly and ugly. But then the scene shifted to the present (she was about 18 now), and the girl had grown really pretty. I was in this nice house with her and a few other people, and I kind of remember reading some sort of Wikipedia article about her...I recall it having said something about her being a budding actress who had tried her hand in acting as the leading lady of some Final Fantasy movie...however, the funding for the movie failed halfway through filming, and it never made it. I guess now we were filming in the house, and she was to play the role of Rydia for some kind of movie adaptation of Final Fantasy IV. She was wearing the green leotard and had her hair dyed green and everything. Which instantly made me fall for her...what's sexier than a green-haired chick? NOTHING, I submit! Well, except for perhaps a cyan-haired chick, but I digress. I'm not sure what happened in the mean time, but at one point we got word that the movie was going to have to be canceled as well, due to more financial failure. This really broke the girl's heart and I felt extremely bad for her, for I knew how much acting meant to her. She went off and disappeared for a while. At some point I began to worry about her, and searched for her around the house. Who I think was Dr. McCoy from Star Trek came out of the washroom and told me she might be doing something rash. I ran into the living room and saw her, surrounded by six children, floating through the air - she flew upward and disappeared in a bright orb of light, with the six children following suit one-by-one. I was devastated, as I knew that she'd never come back. Although now I'm not sure what this strange little ritual was all about, I think it had to do with her sacrificing her spirit to lead these children to a better place. Or something like that. I dunno for sure. I don't remember much of what happened after that...it's really hazy at best. All I remember next is being inside this 18 wheeler big rig, on the passenger's side. None other than the mystical would-be actress, who was still dressed up in Rydia's attire (I got the distinct feeling that that was her more permanent look now), at the wheel. She looked absolutely terrified at the notion of having to control this behemoth. I gave her some assuring words before I climbed out the passenger-side window and onto the top of the big rig. There was this big box of explosives sitting on top of the trailer that I needed to keep a hold of, lest they fall off and blow up (thereby flipping the truck and killing my beloved DC). Then it all became like a driving game like Driver or something, with my view being in the third person, floating above and slightly behind the speeding big rig. A couple of times the big rig took some goofy, drift-like turns on the highway (which, to my relief, was totally deserted on our side of the barrier). At one point we hit the pillar of an overpass, but since we were going relatively slow, the vehicle just kind of stopped and grinded into the structure and went nowhere, as happens when you hit the gas in one of those driving games whilst the front of the vehicle is against a wall or something. The girl eventually got the rig unstuck and we continued on. Then I woke up.

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4/2/09 Butterfly Effect Okay, so I don't remember an awful lot about this one, all I remember is that it was trippy as hell. I was looking at a random landscape, with the knowledge that it was somewhere on the planet Earth. But the scene, as if to show me how it happened, changed...the sky grew darker, and the clouds became purple. Then I could see, flying in perfect formation all across the sky, were these huge butterfly-like creatures with bright purple wings. I had a short vision of the human race being shunned into the darkness, and these invading creatures becoming the dominant organism on Earth. I don't remember much about what happened directly after this, other than that I was sneaking around trying to find a way to their queen. I seemed to have some sort of device on me that, when activated, made me appear as one of them. I got to the queen...her color was different than that of the other butterfly creatures (white, light purple and bright green stick out in my mind). She was actually quite nice, and didn't seem to have the bloodlust of the rest of her invasive race. I recall her bodyguard, who was sitting next to me to make sure I wasn't going to do anything (I remember he was very big and dark in color)...he looked me in the eyes, as if trying to stare me down and intimidate me, but I just smiled pleasantly and stared right back at him. This seemed to unnerve him, for some reason. I don't remember much else, but...yeah. It was trippy.

[Lëzen]

4/8/09 Why Are These Games Never REAL, Dammit!? I know I had a couple dreams involving FF6, but now I can only partially remember one of them...I was on Wikipedia when I came across an article in regards to a cancelled game (or movie?) that revolved around Setzer. Apparently he was to be some demon-hybrid, much like Vincent from FF7. I think the premise of the game (movie?) might have been that Setzer went nuts and turned into his demon form, capturing his friends and holding them somewhere...and the main/player character (who evaded capture) was the one who had to save them. After the initial disappointment about the game having been cancelled, I was suddenly excited when I saw that Square was going to start working on another FF6 sequel instead. I remember seeing some of the character art, etc., just before I woke up... It was one of those wake-ups you get a short time before the alarm clock goes off, and my mind was trying to separate dream from reality, as I was briefly thinking about turning on my computer and going to Wikipedia to find the article in my dream, but I came to my senses...