[†] Citadel of Dreams [†]

[Noske]

This thread will be an almost complete collection of all my dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares, realizations, and other matters relating to spirituality and the dream world. It will contain both things from the world of dreams and the waking world, as I also practice things such as automatic writing and automatic art. It also explores my transition from atheist to agnostic, to a believer in Christ (Catholic). But don't worry about me going off on some God and Jesus mumbo-jumbo. While I will explore that aspect, I am most certainly NOT the type to go forcing my religion down the throats of others. I don't expect anyone to believe in the same things I do and while I welcome a discussion about it, I don't appreciate anyone telling me that it's a bunch of lies or that spirit guides and God doesn't exist, etc etc. So take it for what it is worth. And given the nature of some of the things I've been told in the past, there are some dreams that I won't be able to post on here due to the fact that they are more like revelations, and my guides may not want me to post them. I will post as many things as I can, but if I think that what they are saying is a proper revelation that should be discussed with a priest, then I'll ask for permission to post it before I actually do. If I'm not allowed, I'll simply make a note about it. I keep my main journal as a handwritten account in a special notebook, so bear with me as I copy it all out. Feel free to comment as you see fit, and I welcome any questions or discussions that you may have on the subjects that arise.

[Noske]

The First Lucid Dream The first time that I met this spirit was scary yet familiar. I was lying in bed and hadn't realized that I'd fallen asleep. It was the middle of the day, and I don't even remember closing my eyes. My hand was resting near my hip and I was lying slightly on my side, yet looking up at the roof. I felt a tug on the blankets at my waist, and figured the cat was climbing onto the bed and was pulling the sheets. Then I felt warmth at my back, and thinking it was once again the cat, I waited for the sheets to loosen up. But they didn’t. I then realized that the warm at my back was too big to be the cat, and I began to think. It felt more like a male chest. That’s when a hand seemed to clamp down over my own and wouldn’t let me move. Not even a centimetre. The one around my waist pinned me down as well. I also felt a face in behind my ear, resting against my head. It then made this strange noise, like it was licking its lips and smacking them together, like one does when eating an ice cream. I could feel it breathing on me. I tried to turn around and look at it, but there was nothing there. I also couldn’t turn my head much to see anything anyway, because its head was there. I hadn’t been frightened, but I used my right thumb to jab it in the underside of the chin, really hard. It didn’t affect it, but it felt like a real person, even though I couldn’t see it. It seemed familiar, and I could have quite easily have laid there and relaxed. It then faded out, and I knew that I was now awake, and had been dreaming.

[Noske]

The Second Lucid Dream I was lying on my bed, slightly on my right side, and I'd fallen asleep again without realizing it. Though, it was dark this time. I was staring at the door and felt a pressure like an arm across my shoulders, pinning me down. Once again, I felt its face nect to my own, and then it opened its mouth. This time though, I heard screaming, It was a man screaming, with several others in the background. They sounded like they were a long distance away, but not on this plane. The screams were cut off quickly, and this thing then bit me on the neck. While I felt it easily, I think the shock of it more than any pain was what caused me to jump and snap awake. After that, I began wondering if it was a spirit of some sort, so I looked up things about spirits, spirit guides, and how to communicate with them on this awesome site called www.crystalinks.com I began to meditate to increase my spiritual awarenessm and after my first contact through automatic writing, my hands and arms would contort painfully. Though, they've stopped doing that a long time ago. (It is now 2008.) I couldn't really make much sense at the time, but I believed that his name was either Damien or Mobster. I figured the biting thing was because he was mad that I'd jabbed him with my thumb. I also came to believe that he was my spirit guide, and that Mobster may have been his nickname.

[Noske]

The Third Lucid Dream This encounter was far more pleasant, as I thought I'd figured out what he was. It was more of a dreamlike state this time, and was the first encounter I'd had in which I wasn't just laying in bed. I was standing in front of a house, looking at a cobbled street and nice little garden with a wrought-iron fence. There was a big tree to the right, and the road sloped down that way too. I got the impression that it was an Italian city of sorts. It was dark, but there wa sa full moon and I could see clearly. There was a red and silver car parked out the front, much like the one that mum's nephew - Jason - owned. I started floating towards it, and I was suddenly in the back of it, whatching the two shadows in the front seats talking. I couldn't see their faces, but the passenger was a woman, and the driver was a man. I looked in the rearview mirror, and saw something sitting behind me. It was blurry, but almost looked like me. I felt these warm hands on my shoulders, and lips near my ear saying "Sh...Shhh!" It seemed to be this spirit guide, but he wanted me to be quiet for some reason. Suddely we were back in front of the house, but facing the wall. He was tickling me, and we were quite happy. I could see his hands, but I couldn't think to look up at his face. After that, it faded out.

[Noske]

The Fourth Lucid Dream I think he showed up once more before this encounter, but I forgot what happened before I wrote it down. This time I had a weird dream. It was about these gemstones that I had to collect and fit in a circle around my navel. There was also a little Hopi Indian thatlike my guide, as if I was Indiana Jones. But he was a traitor. There was also some creepy guy named Juse and his assistant, and I believe he was after the gems to do evil. So I laid on my front and pretended I was dead so that he wouldn't see where I'd hidden them. This was after I'd pried a gem out of the eye of this bald eagle symbol on the floor, that resembled the Presidential Seal. In the end, my guide showed up again, and I ran my hand up his arm before rolling over and onto his chest. But everything went into these strange colours, like looking through a scratchlight image, similar to stained glass. He then faded out from under my until I was laying on my pillow again.

[Noske]

The Fifth Lucid Dream He showed up a few more times, but I can't remember details. Usually it just involves us laying there. He's quite cuddly, which is interesting, I've never been a cuddly person, and I dislike people touching me like that in waking life. I'm not one for displays of affection, but he made it seem quite relaxed and comfortable, and pleasant to be there.

[Noske]

The Sixth Lucid Dream In this dream, I was back at my old primary school, and I was riding around the edge of the lower football (AFL) field. There was a kid there kicking the football around to himself, and he seemed to like the horse a lot. The next thing I knew, I was running down the hill that normally leads to the fish and chip shop, but the scenery changed to tall apartment blocks like in a city. I kept looking back up this hill with the white road markers, as if there was a car about to come and I was checking to make sure that I wouldn't get run down. Then I felt the hands of my guide at my waist as I was running, and they seemed like they wanted to lift me up and make me lighter. Like they were hurrying me along. I tucked my legs up after a few bounds, and they lifted me up into the air. I almost felt like Spiderman, doing some huge but controlled leap. The hands set me down lightly on the footpath at the cross on the T intersection, just as a woman looked out the door in the oppsite direction. But as she turned to me, I turned away and walked off like nothing had happened - as if I'd been standing there the entire time. It was an amazing feeling, like I was flying.

[Noske]

The Seventh Lucid Dream This time I was standing in my room, watching everything in what seemed to be wide screen mode, though quite thin. Almost like what you'd expect to see if you looked through Robocop's helmet. But not cut off at the top and bottom. Thing is, my eyes were completely closed, and I could feel that they were because I squeezed them shut tighter and they wouldn't go any further. I remember stepping on one of the weights that I usually use to hold the door open, but it was sitting in a different position in my room. I was really uncoordinated with my walking, as if my legs were numb. By the time I had turned around, I could see someone sitting on my bed. He had dark hair, and was wearing clothes similar to mine, only with a darker shirt underneath it. I stepped closer to the blurry figure, and almost fell over. So he placed his hand on my hip and arm, pulling me closer. I placed my arms around his shoulders, and the eyeless sight faded out into black. I touched the side of his face, and we were laying down again. I remember touching and playing with his ear, though I don't remember why. I didn't want to let him go in case he disappeared again. He started talking, and I understood him easily. He sounded a bit like he had a cold and was talking through his nose. He told me "I'm sorry. You tried to walk away, but I grabbed you." I then woke up after that. These dreams seem to give me a lot of energy, even though I've barely slept.

[Noske]

The Eighth Lucid Dream I remembered a previous encounter. It might have been the fifth one. He was sort of licking and chewing on my neck for some unknown reason, and when I woke up, it felt rather like there was a tiny wet patch there. * * * The eighth encounter was just like a normal dream, and rather odd. Me and mum had just come out of the supermarket, and were in the car park. I was on the passenger side, waiting on her to unlock the door when a person turned me around and held a gun to my head. He was an Asian male, young, and with a round, slightly flat face. But he didn't appear to be chubby. His eyes were more of an almond shape I think, so I don't this he was Japanese or Chinese. He looked more like a Korean or Vietnamese person - perhaps with a mixed bloodline. He seemed to now me, though I had no idea who he was. I must have gotten onto my knees at some point, because he was standing over me with the gun at my left ear. He then said "Hello Clancie. Where is Mrs McNeil?" I replied to him "I don't know. We just went into the supermarket. She's probably still in there." For some reason, I'd thought he was talking about my mother, who had disappeared by that time. The only Mrs McNeil I know is the wife of my architechture teacher, though I'd never met her. I think he then said "Wrong Answer." I could feel this liquid head trickling from my ear, but my guide then pulled me back out of the dream before I heard or felt a gunshot. Looking back on it all now, he looked and sounded a LOT like the guy who shot up Virginia Tech.

[Noske]

The Ninth Lucid Dream It was almost like a dream this time. At first I could see. I went to lay down on this bed with a thick white duck down duvet, at I knew my guide was there behind me. I laid down under the covers, and he laid down behind me and wrapped an arm over my waist. I placed my hand over his, and my fingers slipped between his own, which were much larger. I could feel the ridges of his knuckles and the skin on his hand, which was both rough and smooth at the same time. For some reason, I was able to feel these tiny details quite easily. I was then lying there facing him, and I was able to feel the stubble on his jaw grazing my cheek. His chin was sort of wet as well. I don't know if one of us had beel drooling or not, but I remembered it felt wet against my eyelid as he lifted his head up. I also had my hand on the back of his neck, and I could clearly feel the hair there prickling my skin. Though less than his jaw had.

[Noske]

The Tenth Lucid Dream I'd been drifting off to sleep while listing to Christina Aguilera - Dirrty when it started to sound like it was being played backwards and sung by a male. Then my guide was there, trying to roll me onto my left side. He hadn't done that before. After that, my vision blacked out, and all I oculd see were these white block numbers in front of me. They were faded out and smokey in some parts, and were against a black background. It read either 12507, or 15207. It could be a date, time, or when put in the context of the letters of the alphabet, it spells "leg." My guide was whispering something to me whle I was reading this, but I could only pay attention to what I was seeing. After I got my vision back, I was staring up at the rood, and it was getting closer and closer. I got close to the light, and covered my head with my hands, even though I thought I'd pass straight through it. When I went through it, if felt like a ouff of air had been blown into my face. I could see all the different layers of the inside of the room. The last thing I saw before I woke up was the stars in the night sky. Well, there was a little more to it, but it was insignificant. Just me asking my friend in the dream to remind me of it.

[Noske]

Date Confirmation As it turns out, the number was 15207, and was a date. 15th February, 2007. I ended up going to the doctor's and to the hospital on that date, and found out I had Graves' Disease. This ties i with my dream dictionary saying that numbers surrounded in black can mean a death of some kind. Death, grave. It works. It also may have another meaning. Fits in with a bible verse that I ended up looking at while having a discussion/argument on the Catholic Forums. Job 15, Lines 2-7 "Job, if you had any sense, you would stop spreading all this hot air. Your words are enough to make others turn from God and ead them to doubt. And you sinful, scheming mind is the source of all you say. I am not here as your Judge; your own words are witnesses against you. Were you the first human? Are you older than the hills?" Keep in mind that I hadn't found this verse untik much later, and not until 2008 that I started researching the Catholic faith. So I rewrote this entry to accommodate it.

[Noske]

Saints? It had been ages since I posted an update to the online spirit journal that I am copying this from. so I can't remember all the things that have happpened in then. I've come to believe that my guides may be Saint Joan of Arc and Saint Gabriel Possenti. It started with me not being able to stop thinking about Joan. I hadn't thought of her in years, so I don't know what started it at all. I turned her into a roleplay character, but she was too hard to play with no real basis for her beliefs. So I started researching her and her religion even further. It ended up with me questioning my guides if they were saints, and I think that they said yes. I ended up having another dream in which he came to me in a blue mist. It was very brief, but I saw his face as he lifted me up into his arms. He had quite a nice, friendly smile. After I researched saints and questioning him further, I believe he said "Gabriel." I looked at pictures of them, and found that Gabriel Possenti had a striking similarity, even though I'd never heard of him or seen a picture of him before. There is also something familiar about his clothes in the image, though I don't know why. I think he may have said "Mobster" to start with, as there is a picture of him resembling a 1920's gangster.

[Noske]

Bibles, Prayers & Dreams I'm considering getting baptised and going to church. It's gone from athiest to believer in a sudden snap, and I think I have Joan to thank for that. I've even got a bible and a rosary now. I had dream about going to a religious education class, but wasn't sure if I wanted to go through with it. So I prayed that night, and asked God for confirmation about where I was supposed to be and if I should go to church. And my prayers were answered. The next night, I dreamed that I was in church, watching this priest who was standing at the very edge of this white-gold light that was pointed at the altar. He was standing near the people in the pews, who were all shrouded in darkness. One of my friends got up to leave, as did another. But the second friend got told off by the priest, as we were about to have communion, and she couldn't leave. For some reason, I was the only one enjoying it all, and was paying attention. Even one of my Christian friends didn't care. On the third night, I prayed but got no dreams, but the fourth night I had another church dream. Can't remember it though. But I NEVER have recurring dreams like that. Saint Joan has been a positive influence on me though. I've become more patient and forgiving. Gotta love old Joanie. <3

[Noske]

Charity And Kindness Today I was thinking of all the amazing things that the saints have done for those less fortunate than them, and I couldn't help but wish that there was something that I could do for them as wlel. Not too long after that, I got a Myspace friend request from a group of people called Campaign For Care. They dew blankets by hand and give them to the homeless. And I thought "That's it. I can do that too." Once I join this church, I can get a group of people togerther and make blankets, soup, toys and clothes for the poor and homeless. It would be great to take a van full of it to Melbourne and distribute it up there. Not just at the shelters, but on the streets too.

[Noske]

Lucid Nightmares I was woken up by another lucid dream in which I was mostly awake. I couldn't lock my door properly in the dream, and I had to pull it open a bit to lock it. but when I did, an unseen force just clew it open like the wind, and bit by dit it pushed me against the wall. I was then laying on mybed again and heard a woman scream. But it too sounded like it was coming from another plane, and not just outside. Although I got this bad vibe off it, a person on the forum suggested that this may be "God" bursting into my life, when previously I'd shut him out This time, I opened the door enough for him to get afoothold in my life, and now I can't control what happens. At least, I hope that's what it means. I'd rather it be than than a warning for my safety, or that of someone else.

[Noske]

Prayer I really think I'm starting to get the hang of this praying thing. I was a person who hated to cry for whatever the reason. But now when I pray to God, I've been given the gift of tears, and I can cry for seemingly no reason at all. Whether it's for what God and Jesus have done for us, or for the saints that gave their lives to teach us what we need to know seems to vary depending on the prayer. Unlike the other times in my life, it feels good to cry in this manner. I'm starting to enjoy this religious experience. I don't a clue why, but I think this is one thing that I don't need to understand.

[Noske]

Saint Joan A while back, I had a dream with Saint Joan in it. I didn't quite understand it then, but now I think that I do. It was before I'd started researching the Catholic way of life, and in this dream, I was simply a mercenary. At the same time, I seemed to be waiting specifically for her. I was at my old house, and she came riding along on a brown pony with some soldiers behind her. I didn't pay any attention to them, but I was just fascinated with Joan in this dream and couldn't help but stumble and stutter my entire way through the one-sided conversation with her. She'd ridden into the carport, and I'd taken her hand. It felt real and strong - unlike the rest of the dream. I could feel how solid the armor was on her forearm. I introduced myself, and went to help her off her horse. But I couldn't let go. I was pulling one way, and she was pulling the other. She never said anything to me. Just gave me this knowing, amused smile the entire time. Like she understood why I was acting that way. She managed to get down off the horse the way she wanted though, and so it was between us. I looked up my dream dictionary, and a carport implies a temporary shelter, plus with what people on the forum were saying about Saint Joan leading the way. I hold her in high regard, and want to be one of her soldiers. But she is trying to climb down off the high horse, and I'm not willing to let her. I have this familiarity with her, so the temporary shelter she offers is comfortable yet prevents me from seeing the bigger picture, which is God. That high horse is like a barrier between us, and she needs to stand on the same ground as me. On her terms - not mine. * * * I asked Joan in a prayer if I could draw this picture of her from what I remembered of my dream. I think I have the smile right, but she had smaller, sharper eyes. More focused, - kind and understanding, but stern and strong. The sort of eyes that you don't want to see get angry or upset. I asked for her help in drawing this as I had trouble remembering, and I think it turned out okay. It's the best that I can do.

[Noske]

Jehanne's Art Apparently I must call her Jehanne, as she said in automatic writing. Not Joan, or Saint Joan. Although she doesn't like the idea, she has been kind enough to let me paint/draw some pictures of her. The things she said she'd like to be depicted foing in these images are "crying", "sewing", and "being healed by Mary." Nothing military related from her side. She's a sweetie like that. I think that although her hair in the dream was dark, she may have said that her hair was a sienna colour, and had dark blue eyes. I was also able to get her to try some automatic art. It's far easier to see what she's talking about, as the handwriting is horrible to read. She seems to like it more as wlel, as she frequently scribbles everywhere on the pge when I can't understand what she is saying. I think she described this one as d'Alençon helping her off her horse, around 1429. This one was done previously, before I had established a good connection with her. She is either signalling troops while holding her standard, or reaching up form the flames. I think the former is more likely, as she seems to be more interested in her life, rather than her death. She also likes to sign her images, but with the way the pen jerks everywhere, it turns out looking rather stretched. She occasionally misses a letter too. Well, either than or it's so bunched together that I can't see what the letters are anyway. You can see the signature at the right above what looks to be either a man with a flag, or a strange looking flame. And yes, those scribbles are what the writing looks like. Jehanne definately seems to favour the scribbled artworks over the writing. I'm not surprised, given that she couldn't read or write during her lifetime. Plus, we both seem to get frustrated when I can't understand what she is writing. I don't blame her, though. I get frustrated because I can't read it, and she is probably sick of me asking the same questions over and over. So art acts as a happy medium. because we can both do that. From what I gather, Jehanne is a lot more serious and secretive about what she is telling and showing me, compared to my other guide. Given her military history, I'm sure she is used to giving out orders and having peopel follow them. And I understand her concern for me to ot go running my mouth about the things she is telling me, She would have gotten in trouble. People thought she was crazy from what little she DID tell them. She's far more serious about what I can call her as well. She has given permission to entitle artworks with her title of "Saint", but she likes to just be called "Jehanne." Not nicknames like "Jeanette", "Joanie", or "Joan", etc. The reason she gave for this was simply "Saint" was too formal, and it was "Jehanne" that was her name. The others were too personal, as I didn't know her well enough. She didn't want me to speak to anyone of what she had told me, but I basically begged her to let me tell at least one of my friends about it, and she allowed it. And for that I thank her, because it's a lot easier to cope with when someone supports you.

[Noske]

Charity & Prayers God appears to be answering my prayers. He's allowed for Jason's wife to get a decent, well-paying job. Jason's boss wasn't paying him, and they had no money to buy food for the kids. So thankfully, and hopefully, this job will do them some good. And it's amazing how surprised some people are at acts of charity, even when working in a business devoted to that. Today I went into St Vinnie's o shop, and bought a rosary, scapular medal, and a little pocket book of prayers and devotions. It came to a total of around $8, and I gave the woman a $10 note and told her to keep the change. She looked almost shocked as she thanked me. It's amazing what a couple of dollars can accomplish. I hope that i goes to a good cause, and really helps someone in need. I can't wait until I have more to donate.

[Noske]

Jehanne's Art I went to ask Jehanne a question about whether I could post my regular dreams on Dream Views, and it escalated into another conversation. She ended up wanting to draw another picture. It isn't finished, because I managed to pick up on what she was trying to draw. I'd seen a news article earlier about the Marlins baseball team, and I happened to have a Marlins baseball bat. So once I saw the fish, I examined the bat. I assumed she was telling me something about Florida, but I don't know what. One of my net friends lives there, so I hope that it isn't a warning for something bad.

[Noske]

The Book The other night, I had a strange, regular dream in which I walked down the street to where there were these little stages set up with desks on them. Behind the desks were American presidential candidates. It was similar to a career day, only instead of sitting down and speaking with them, we stood before each stage while they looked down at us. From a distance, I only noticed Obama and Hillary, but it was Obama that got most of my attention. He was being picked on, and people were scribbling oall over the paper name tag taped to the front of his desk. Yet he kept silent, and just smiled. They didn't seem to be getting to him. But after these people left to talk to Hillary in a nice manner, nobody stayed to hear what Obama had to say. I felt sorry for him, and approached him to take down the mean posters they'd stuck up over his name. I can't remember exactly what I said to him, but it was something along the lines of "That wasn't very nice of them," or "I don't know how you put up with that." This was in an effort to be nice to him. By this time, Obama had changed into Morgan Freeman. I'm not sure what he said to me, but my words had seemed to make him realize that I was a good person. He wanted me to write my name and phone number down so that we could discuss something later. So he presented me with this black book, but my name was already written in it. So I only needed to write down my phone number. I thought this was a little strange, but I did it anyway. The interesting thing that I noticed about the book was that it was a bit backwards. It had my name in the right coloumn of the left page, and the phone number came before it. I had absolutely no problem writing all this down, and I was unable to see any other names because his hand was covering most of it. It was a confusing dream at first, but once I analysed it, it stated to make more sense. Morgan Freeman played God in one of his movies. America is a superpower. Therefore superpower is God. Hillary and the others would stand for the other false Gods that people worship. Obviously the next thing I had to understand is why they were acting mean towards him. I guess it is because people no longer believe in him, and are quick to say awful things and smear his good name. After that, I had to understand the book and phone number. It was like I'd signed up for something, and was waiting on God's call. But after I'd done several calculations of those numbers in regards to bible passages, I came up with the following... Psalm 16, line 7 "I praise you, Lord, for being my guide. Even in the darkest night, your teachings fill my mind." Psalm 24, Line 7 "Open the ancient gates so that the glorious king may enter." The above two fit in with my quest to find my spirit guide and the dream I had about unlocking my door. But what struck me as most important was in the book of Daniel, chapter 12. It speaks of a book, like that which I had seen. Line 1 "And your people that have their names written in the book will be protected." Line 4 "Daniel, I now command you to keep the message of this book secret until the end of time." Line 4 struck me as important as the book was similar to this one, and I had been seeking guidance as to who I could show it to. The note at the bottom of the bible states that "The Book" was either the book with the names of God's people in it, or the book with the record of the good and evil people have done. What is also interesting is that an angel named Gabriel came to Daniel, picked him up, and told him about the end of the world, which is strangely similar to a lucid dream that I have had.

[Noske]

Jehanne's Art Jehanne was quite active today in wanting to draw things. She seemed to be in a really good mood, and even wanted to joke about. I think this is because I'm finally starting to understand what she is telling me. But after looking through my dream dictionary, the marlin she drew before may not be about Florida. The dictionary gave an entry like the following. Marlin Corresponds with spiritual focus; centered spiritual attention. I believe that she means for me to focus on what she is telling me, which is then told through the next series of pictures. The image is an eagle holding an olive branch in its mouth, I think. Eagle Defines the self confidence of intellectual freedon to persue unconventional concepts or issues. Olive Branch Naturally signifies a peace offering; desire to terminate conflict and go forward. Mouth Manner in which one speaks or communicates. I think this means Jehanne is giving me her blessings to continue to speaking with her through these unconventional methos of communication, despite others trying to pick fights with me about it being wrong. At first I wasn't sure whether this was a turtle or an eye, but although both fit, I think the entry of "Misty Eye" fits the best. Misty Eye Characterizes perceptions affected by emotion/sensitivity. Combined with all the other images, I think it comes as a warning not to let my love for Jehanne and what she does get in the way of my spiritual duty. This is where she starts getting more obvious and comical in her message. This is a catfish. Note the ears. Catfish Denotes a cattiness to one's spiritual beliefs; pretentious or arrogant spiritual beliefs. I think this is my warning not to think too highly of my abilities and the gifts God has given me. Not to act like I'm above others for it. And finally, theis is where she gets funny. I knew the hair straight away. It was my brother. Me: "Is that my brother?" Jehanne: "Yes." Me: "What about him? Is something going to happen?" Jehanne: "He is my honey. Men are good." Me: "What? Honey? As in sweetie?" Jehanne: "Yes." Me: "You can't be serious. YOU LIKE MY BROTHER?! Are you joking?" [Insert jealousy and disbelief.] Jehanne: "Haha. Yes. I am just joking." PHEW! I was starting to think she was going a little nutty, or had a horrible taste in men. I think this humor was a reward for me finally understanding her. And if it is, I can't wait to see what other jokes she has coming. She totally got me on this one. I deserved it, because I often make a lot of jokes about her.

[Noske]

Jehanne's Art I'm not really sure what she was trying to accomplish with these pictures, but it seems like she may be talking about love of some kind. When she was drawing the rose, I thought it looked like a shark, which lead me to think that my friend called Rose may be attacked by a shark. But I looked it up, and it may mean something different. Rose Portrays strong admiration Rosebud Pertains to a beginning of budding attraction; beginning feelings of admiration. I'm not sure whether she is talking about my love for her, her love for me, or our love for something else, but I think she may have said "My love is good." She may also be saying not to let religious fanatics get in the way of that love, which I assume is a spiritual love - not bound by gender or regular human emotions that we can understand. (That was what shark meant. It had to do with religious fanatics who try to convert others to their beliefs in a relentless manner.) It also crossed my mind that she may have been talking about the rosary, which "recommends a time to pray and turn to the divine essence." However, it didn't seem like she was suggesting that. I got a bit confused, so I started asking her about whether she was talking about spiritual love. Me: "So spiritual love is something that is not bound by regular human emotions or gender?" Jehanne: "Somewhat." Me: "I don't get it. Spiritual love is...ugh...Is it bound by gender?" Jehanne: "Yes." Me: "How so? Uh, let me start with something simple. Is homosexuality a sin? Will someone not get into heaven for being homosexual?" Jehanne: "Homosexuality is a sin? Are you stupid?" Me: "...What? Are you even Jehanne? Why would you say that?" Jehanne: "Yes." I then took a break to write this down, and I questioned her some more. Me: "Is homosexuality a sin?" Jehanne: "No." Me: "Will homosexuality stop someone from getting into heaven?" Jehanne: "No." Me: "Do you believe that homosexuality is a sin?" At that point, the pen slipped when I was writing and churched out something unreadacle. So I broke it down into two questions, and her answers seemed a little strange for a devout catholic. I repeated, and got a no. Me: "Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?" Jehanne: "No." Me: "Did you believe it was a sin when you were still alive?" Jehanne: "Yes? Me: "So is spiritual love something where you can develop a connection with a person even though you've never met them? Like, a person can have a relationship even though one person is long dead, or something to that effect?" Jehanne: "Yes." Given my strange obsession with her, I thought I'd better question it further. Me: "Is spiiritual love the kind of love that we have?" Jehanne: "Yes." Me: "Does spiritual love exist in the forms that it does on earth? Like mother/daughter, sisters, and stuff like that?" Jehanne: "Yes." Me: "So what kind of spiritual love do we have? Sisters?" It looked like she'd said yes, but I had to question her again because she kept writing and doubling back on herself like she wanted to correct it. Me: "Is it sisters?" Jehanne: "No. we have more than that." Me: "So what kind of spiritual love do we have?" Jehanne: "The same kind you dream about." Me: "That seems rather unrealistic." Jehanne: "Why?" Me: "You don't seem like the kind of person to be like that." Jehanne: "OH MY GOD-..." At that point I stopped speaking with what I thought was Jehanne. She seemed way too easy to read, and was saying things completely out of character for who she was. I don't know if it really was her or not, but it was confusing. One minute her answer was "sisters", and the next it wasn't. So I decided it was best to stop. She'd said earlier that I should go to bed anyway. That sounded more like her. She's a bit motherly in that sense.

[Noske]

Lucid Dream I missed my first opportunity to take myself up during a strange Pirates of the Caribbean dream, but I asked God and my guides to help me have a lucid one. I was so frustrated because my cat kept taking me up all the time, but I ended up waking myself up. The dream started out with me walking in circles around this house, watching these guys playing poker each time I passed. Some guy kept saying something, and I was getting angry because it was like he was forgetting that I was going past each time and kept asking the same question. But after I went past and they weren't there, I turned around and walked back the other way, where an open door had appeared in the building. I went inside, and my mother was by the door. She started asking me about automatic writing, and got me to realize that I was dreaming. It caused me to make a reality check after it changed back to me laying in bed, and I poked my finger straight through my palm. I started to get up and out of bed, kicking my lucid legs around, ut my eyesight started fading. I said something along the lines of "give me my astral vision" in my mind, but this loud whistling started in my ears. It was like someone immitating a kettle by whistling through their teeth. It got louder and louder, and gave me a fright. So I called for my guide, who I think may have rolled me into my side and I woke up. However, now that I think about it, it may not have been the male one. It was lighter and barely even there. Maybe it was Jehanne. I don't know. But I'm an idiot. I was aware that some people experience whistling, but I got a fright anyway.