A Painful and Beautiful Journey in One's Mind 10-11/04/2011
I feel this may be worth sharing, sorry if others feel it isn't, but I hope people can gain some entertainment, inspiration or insight from this dream.
Entry 10-11/04/2011
Okay, this one was a bit disjointed, I am typing it as best as I can put it together. Actually, I do that with all dreams really, I don't quite think normally, so my dreams are constructed a bit differently. Sorry for any confusion this causes.
Onto the dream.
I was running, running, running... It felt like an eternity I ran for, with faces running through my mind, motivating me to continue sprinting for my goal. Or more away from my threat. I knew not what the threat was, only that it was threatening. After what felt like a lifetime, the threat vanished.
I was in a circular room, think of the Jedi Council's chamber from the Star Wars films, but less of the plastic look, more brickwork, like a roundhouse, but in modernist style I guess. I sank to my knees between two protrusions in the wall, and that is when I saw her. She was in a body hugging leather outfit ala Trinity in The Matrix films, but she had the body and face of Georgia.. This pulled me into the dream, I was beginning to lose the dream before she appeared, but then she did, and it was... Angelic. She offered me her hand, pulled me up, and we kept running. The threat was back, but I hardly noticed it, we ran for eternity but it felt like a second, it was a joy, what was a minute became an hour before I was running with her and became a second once I was with her. We ran and ran, until we settled on a place to stay. It was an outpost, think of it as being similar to a cave with basic ammenites (these are a recurring set of locations in my dream history, regardless of which canonical story arc I am in).
We stayed there, and I held her, and time stood still as she held me. The scene changed, and we were in the living room where we spent the best part of two days hodling each other before she split with me... Flash back to the cave and she whispered to me "Its time for us to go now". We got up, trekked out, and through dream physics, left the cave and entered straight back into the circular room. Only this time I was mortally wounded. I was bleeding from my gut, think of the scene in Reservoir Dogs where Mr Orange has been gutshot and is bleeding out on the warehouse floor. I am dying and she is gone. She is gone like she will always go when it comes her time to help me with my problems. I am bleeding out, the dream is fading, fading, fading...
It comes back in a city. My clothes are bloodsoaked, my breathing is ragged, but the people pay no notice. As I walk my clothes are cleansed, my world brightens, and there she is again. As she was in the happy days. She takes my hand, I am an infant in this world, despite being older than her, she is ageless and timeless. Cut back to the room and there is a meeting of families, although no one in either group is a member of either of our actual families. This is a family of revolutionaries, and I am to marry her. I know this because I know I asked her a minute ago, it didn't happen in the dream, but it happened in my mind in the dream. She and I take to a corner, and hold each other. There is laughter. A drink is poured. More laughter. Her perfume gets in my nostrils, its scent reminds me of the smell of her hair as I held her just before we split. The texture of her clothing, though it is leather to the eye, is that of her skin, of her shorts when we slept in each others arms, of her bra as she moved my hands to her heart while watching a movie. And she turns and looks in my eyes and she loves me.
Split and she vanishes, I am alone, it is unbearably hot and bright outside, I can't hold the dream, so much grief, so alone in the world, I am nothing, I am no one, I destroyed the one good thing I ever had, so much grief, so much self pity, such self hate... Such love. Such love for her, so unconditional, and it kills me. That is the last thought as the dream fades, I love her, and my love for her is destroying me, it eats away at my mind and my heart as I know that she will never even look upon me that way again. And she never gave a reason...
That is the best translation into language I can give of the dream, sorry if it does not make sense. Pax vobiscum.
