sinemac

Okay then, this one is a bit of a journey. From the start, this dream was what I refer to as a MAD, or Mild Awareness dream. Basically, I am aware that I am dreaming, so I am lucid, however I would rather be along for the ride and see what my mind produces for a journey, so don't expect me to play maker and take control... I find it more fun this way... Although I will occasionally skip an event to progress the story quicker (an example being at the start of the dream I summon a drink rather than ask for one so that I can get to what someone has to say to progress the dream) As a disclaimer, I am personally an agnostic atheist, and I hope no theists find the content in this dream offensive. It was nothing but a journey, don't take it as me trying to change your views That said, how about we get into it?

Our dream begins, as many do, in a room filled with people. I am aware that we are here for some major purpose, and take in my surroundings. The atmosphere is tense. Some people are chanting in a corner. Another corner sees people praying. A family huddles together. I realise that I am in what was a bar, but is clearly a more important place than just that for tonight. I approach the barkeep, and materialise a drink in my hand. We exchange niceties, and I get an urge to ask him how much I owe him for the drink.

"Money won't be a problem now, will it?" he replies, chuckling and adding "It's on the house mate."

He pours himself a drink and I follow along, not wanting to seem like I don't know what is going on.

"Everything is set to change, aye?"
"Aye."
"What do you think will happen?"
"No clue. It will be an adventure, that's for sure. I might not be religious, but I am holding out for an afterlife."

This piques my interest. Afterlife? I am starting to understand why we are here. Something is going to cause our deaths, I am now certain of it. I continue to play along, I don't want this DC to die thinking his last discussion was with a fool, and a lot can be gleaned from how people reply.

"Still, do you think we might have it quick at least?" I ask him.
"Aye. Guess it was a great idea setting up my pub in the city, it should explode right above us."

I now know there is conflict of some sort, but I am interested in finding out more.

"I'm generally out bush, so I guess I picked the right time to come to town!"
"Aye, I feel for your mates still out there. The fallout would be a worse way to go, I reckon."
"You think?"
"Yeah, at least we will most likely be vaporised. A nuke will do that for you."

I'm growing to like this publican DC. From him I know we are about to be nuked, and will no doubt die quickly. I don't know what part of my psyche he represents, but his words were soothing. I was going to continue talking, when suddenly there was a hush. I turned to the corner where the TV had been, something I hadn't noticed until now. It was now showing the old snowstorm ants, and this clearly worried some. A child cried. I turn to the publican.

"It's begun."
"Aye. That would be Sydney being hit, signal was from their studios."
"What now?"
"Should happen any moment now. Not going to hide from the bastards though. Have at me!"

The publican downs his drink and sprints out the glass doors of the pub, laughing like a madman. I guess the whole world was mad at that point. I took a peek through the door and noticed something that stood out. The streets were... quiet. Films make you think there would either be anarchy or panic... But there wasn't... People seemed resigned to their fate, only tense over when it would come. This touched me, as I was lucid enough to know that my mind sees humanity as having potential to mature in time... Then things changed.

The next set of events happened over a few seconds. The air was filled with a light, a light like one has never seen. I knew this would be the beginning of something immense, I only didn't know what form it would take. Death is something I have experienced in dreams and waking hallucinations, many times, and it is always a different feeling. This one fascinated me... The light didn't surround me like in films, there was no tunnel so to speak. It was to be very different from most dream deaths I have felt.

Things around me disintegrated... At first I thought it was the bomb tearing apart the world around me, that I had erected a dream shield. But then I knew my dream survival instinct hadn't kicked in, and it was a death I was experiencing. Items vanished around me, being replaced by a simple whiteness... It felt like hours but I knew it was only seconds, even in the dream. I decided to stop fighting the sensation, and absorbed myself into the form.

I then felt a tug, a gravitational pull... The only thing I can compare it to is when I threw myself out of a 30ft tall tree (I was young and foolish, don't judge. I landed safely too, only minor bruising )... I gave into this pull, and knew that this death would not see ressurection, reversal, non existance or awakening from the dream. I was on my way to an afterlife

I found myself in a cavern, with no notable features, no high or low temperature, no wind, no moisture but not dry, just an eerily still cavern. I looked around and saw people, although I didn't see them. I saw beings, if I focused on them I could see them, but they were people I didn't know and quickly faded out of my memory. I knew for certain that I was not in any of the traditional afterlife locations, but the closest one I could think of comparing this to would be one of the outer circles of hell, or perhaps purgatory in Abrahamic religions, or an Asphodel Meadows where I retained individual thought. I felt that I may wander in this cavern until I awake from my dream, and I wanted to progress it, so I willed an event, a meeting. I willed a discussion with whatever power controlled the region.

Oddly enough, my opinion of a realistic Satan answered my call. He appeared before me, a being without form or manner, merely existence. I was interested in knowing why my view of Satan was to appear in this version of the afterlife, and willed a responce (sorry, I don't like starting discussions with gods or demons in dreams, I feel a bit awkward about talking without being spoken to ).

"You hadn't finished your work," was the simple response. "Here you may complete your tasks."
"And what were my tasks?"
"Fulfillment of your goals. Attaining peace. Finding an understanding, finding a reality to adopt."
"And how will I find it here?"
"You will exist. You will feel an urge to complete tasks, quests, from the supernatural to the real, comedic, realistic and tragic. You will experience reality and unreality and continue doing things until you finish your work."
"How will I know when I have finished?"
"You will know."
"And what do I do until then? Just, what, stuff?"
"Pretty much."
"Why would I do this?"
"What alternative do you have?"

I couldn't deny the logic in that, and so I dismissed the presence. I wandered for a few hours around the cavern, until I stumbled on a familiar face. It was Catherine, a friend of mine I talk to almost daily in spite of having not seen her for 3 or so years. Unlike the beings I saw before, she was perfectly defined, not like a DC but like a real human. I sat down next to her and put my head in her lap. She started stroking my hair and we just had a peaceful moment. I finally chose to talk.

"Here too are we?"
"Seems that way... Hey, at least we get to catch up again."
"Makes for a pretty sucky date though, I woulda given you better if I could. Hell, you woulda gotten all the Mi Goreng in the world" (there is a running joke that we have that we are so perfectly suited to the other that if we were to have a relationship it would be the greatest the world would ever know. Yes, we are that deep in the friendzone, but back to the dream. The Mi Goreng is also a running joke, suppoesdly the only condition for me to marry her would to be able to keep a pantry stocked with it... We are both students that blow what money we have on flying, me as a hobby and she as setting up her future career - Ed)
"Could be worse. At least we have all the time in the world."
"That we do Cat."

We stay there a few more hours, and somehow end up in each others arms. Nothing romantic, we just... We are. We coexist. We share each other's existance. I finally ask her how she died.

"You weren't caught up in the bombing were you?"
"No, I've been here a few more hours in living time than you, I guess... It's felt like weeks though... My father and I were out driving, just killing time before our time was killed, and we ran off the road. Tree. Quick. Painless. I arrived here, I guess that we young ones have been left here to mature... Bloody oldies, they had the better music, the better laws, and now they get the better afterlife!"
"Hey, am I all that bad?"
"Well, I guess there are plus sides of being left here."
"So what do we do here? Any ideas?"
"Just chill I guess. At least we have our memories. We aren't in pain. No torture like the crazies say. Nothing like that... I've had urges to recover things from other caverns, but I've resisted, I felt like waiting here I might meet someone I wanted to... And those caves looked like they might lead to injury... I think that we can still feel pain here, even if we don't die again."
"Did you though?"
"What?"
"Find someone you wanted to?"
"You're a cheeky bugger, you know that right? Yeah, I found someone"
...
"I'm glad you are here, you've made me a lot happier since you arrived."
"Thanks Cat."

We just went back to holding each other in quiet contemplation. Later on we got up and wandered around for a while, wandered through the caverns, but there was no one who we recognised, so we went back to lying together. We simply held each other until the dream faded out, and that was that.

Throughout this whole thing I was struck by the detail in Catherine's appearance, DCs generally aren't that defined, even DCs that I know real world versions of... I guess that people can theorise why this was as they wish. I was also interested by this form of afterlife, often death leads to me being in a dream state, but experiencing nothing, like I had left existence and could ponder the dream. Other times I am reincarnated in some form, this has led to interesting events (like walking through my grandparents house 5 years before it was even built in reality, with their car that was yet to even be designed in reality in the driveway). This one was odd, in that it seemed that the afterlife was more a side life, a message of some sort, not the traditional symbolism thing, but more a problem solving excercise... Any input is appreciated.

sinemac

Entry 10-11/04/2011
Okay, this one was a bit disjointed, I am typing it as best as I can put it together. Actually, I do that with all dreams really, I don't quite think normally, so my dreams are constructed a bit differently. Sorry for any confusion this causes.
Onto the dream.

I was running, running, running... It felt like an eternity I ran for, with faces running through my mind, motivating me to continue sprinting for my goal. Or more away from my threat. I knew not what the threat was, only that it was threatening. After what felt like a lifetime, the threat vanished.

I was in a circular room, think of the Jedi Council's chamber from the Star Wars films, but less of the plastic look, more brickwork, like a roundhouse, but in modernist style I guess. I sank to my knees between two protrusions in the wall, and that is when I saw her. She was in a body hugging leather outfit ala Trinity in The Matrix films, but she had the body and face of Georgia.. This pulled me into the dream, I was beginning to lose the dream before she appeared, but then she did, and it was... Angelic. She offered me her hand, pulled me up, and we kept running. The threat was back, but I hardly noticed it, we ran for eternity but it felt like a second, it was a joy, what was a minute became an hour before I was running with her and became a second once I was with her. We ran and ran, until we settled on a place to stay. It was an outpost, think of it as being similar to a cave with basic ammenites (these are a recurring set of locations in my dream history, regardless of which canonical story arc I am in).
We stayed there, and I held her, and time stood still as she held me. The scene changed, and we were in the living room where we spent the best part of two days hodling each other before she split with me... Flash back to the cave and she whispered to me "Its time for us to go now". We got up, trekked out, and through dream physics, left the cave and entered straight back into the circular room. Only this time I was mortally wounded. I was bleeding from my gut, think of the scene in Reservoir Dogs where Mr Orange has been gutshot and is bleeding out on the warehouse floor. I am dying and she is gone. She is gone like she will always go when it comes her time to help me with my problems. I am bleeding out, the dream is fading, fading, fading...
It comes back in a city. My clothes are bloodsoaked, my breathing is ragged, but the people pay no notice. As I walk my clothes are cleansed, my world brightens, and there she is again. As she was in the happy days. She takes my hand, I am an infant in this world, despite being older than her, she is ageless and timeless. Cut back to the room and there is a meeting of families, although no one in either group is a member of either of our actual families. This is a family of revolutionaries, and I am to marry her. I know this because I know I asked her a minute ago, it didn't happen in the dream, but it happened in my mind in the dream. She and I take to a corner, and hold each other. There is laughter. A drink is poured. More laughter. Her perfume gets in my nostrils, its scent reminds me of the smell of her hair as I held her just before we split. The texture of her clothing, though it is leather to the eye, is that of her skin, of her shorts when we slept in each others arms, of her bra as she moved my hands to her heart while watching a movie. And she turns and looks in my eyes and she loves me.
Split and she vanishes, I am alone, it is unbearably hot and bright outside, I can't hold the dream, so much grief, so alone in the world, I am nothing, I am no one, I destroyed the one good thing I ever had, so much grief, so much self pity, such self hate... Such love. Such love for her, so unconditional, and it kills me. That is the last thought as the dream fades, I love her, and my love for her is destroying me, it eats away at my mind and my heart as I know that she will never even look upon me that way again. And she never gave a reason...


That is the best translation into language I can give of the dream, sorry if it does not make sense. Pax vobiscum.

4-5/4/11

No timestamp, estimate around 4 a.m. though.

Nothing special, but everything odd. For a start, I bought a razor to shave my beard (I am normally clean shaven, haven't shaved for a few days though) and found that it had ann odd design. Its blades were small, square, and pointing sideways, so one shaved with a left to right motion, rather than up to down or down to up. So an insignificant, but topsy turvy dream.

1-2/4/11

Entry reads like that of a fragmented dream, but was written right after waking from it. In the dream I saw both good and bad outcomes in this experience, I guess my split personality, the nature of my love for her and her actions towards me, may be a factor.

3:22 am
Its weird, I was in a world with Georgia, and things just seemed... right. There was a oneness about it, I was trusting, as was she... Fragments... Down a path with her, path getting darker, bright light for a few hundred metres, then darkness (metaphor for my relationship with her?)... holding her, confronting her, one face is a devil that hates but another face is soothing and loving... The words I wanted to hear "I still love you" and the words I dread "Nothing between us".... I don't know, this one left me on the verge of tears but also happy. Mixed emotions messing me up right now...

[methods used to enter this dream]

I used an old method I was taught to dream quickly, which involves ignoring the bodies checks on whether you are awake or not, while deliberately keeping the mind active (so all of the itches and uncomfortable feelings must be ignored, even though they get quite unpleasant, while I keep reciting things to remain aware of where I am- I use the poetry of Blake, and quote Chesterton to myself. Hey, works for me). Then when I feel "heavy", I open my eyes for a minute or so before closing, allow an enviroment to form around me (it does nine times out of ten) and see what I can do with that enviroment. Enough chatter, I will post the log now, only removing names for privacy reasons.

[/methods]

4:24a.m.
In the ******'s Orchard. I asked if I could have an orange from their orchard. They said yes. I said "hang on a minute, you don't grow oranges, do you?" (I don't remember their crop but this was proof enough). He said "no we don't". I used this as a logical reality check, and then went to pick an orange. First though, I noticed that my feet were cold (I sleep without sheets for psychological reasons). I felt like I might be losing touch and wake up, so I remembered that in their orchard at this early hour I would be wearing boots (we would be coming back from an early morning shoot). I visualised the texture, the colour of my socks that I wear with boots (both nylon and wool layers) and wrapped my feet in them in my mind. I made that my socks were damp from the fact they hadn't trimmed the grass, which satisfied my mind's checks on whether I could continue in the dream and as such, continued. I took an apple (more proof that this was a dream, it was an orange orchard above) and took a bite. Sundowner I think, probably because I remembered today that they are going to be more pricey as winter hits. I hear a dog, probably Fin, their heeler, barking, and that is the last thing I remember before losing the dream and awaking. It is odd. I only "slept" for thirty minutes, but I felt refreshed, like I slept a full night. This energy is leaving quickly though, I already am feeling weary again. Back to sleep, may see if I can squeeze a DILD into the next few hours before I must awake properly.




(The above is a direct copy of my DJ log for that dream. That DILD never came though)