My girlfriend often dream as she sleep with other guy!

[lol101]

Dear all, Im dating with my girl for past 10 years. We love each other very much. But since our family dun agree for our marriage from beginning we are dating in closet all the while... Well my girlfriend recently dreaming same kinda dream many times ... She dream as she admire a guy ...and try to approach him n so on .. In first 2 dream, she dun recognize him After that her 3rd n 4th dreams she realize its her long-lost ex-classmate whom she din meet for around 8 years.... Her last dream is like she eager to sleep with him n they kissed and make s**.... She told me during chatting in msn ... im like ..... ah! its not something nice t o hear from own girlfriend of course! i just quiet!!!!! She is like in confusion or feeling weird y she dreaming such ..as she dun have any feeling for him in reality. She feel bad coz dream like that and say its nonsense... thats it.. but im so sad.. im feeling hurt to hear the dreams ... i cant take it honestly but i cant tell her coz it might make her angry or disappointed on me or she will tend to hide dreams from me in future then... before tis i was ok and try not to bother but the last dream really disturbing my mind :-( i dunno what to do .. i cudn speak nicely to her after that .. its still bothering me .. y my girlfriend dreaming such thing .. and often lately ? is it just a dream or something behind it ? pls someone help me!

[Leo Volont]

She tells you about it!? Couples really need to show each other some discretion. She'd have to be one really good cook for me to hang around after that kind of abuse. Let her have her dream boyfriend!

[Gothlark]

Originally posted by Leo Volont Couples really need to show each other some discretion. I disagree with that. If you truly love the person, then there's no need to keep any secrets. If you truly love them, then you won't judge them for their secrets. Honestly, from my experience, almost all dreams have no real meaning. My guess is that it happened once randomly and that got her to expect it to happen. Sort of like a snowball effect. Don't worry about it. If she had the guts to tell you that, then she probably really loves you and wouldn't lie about not having feelings for the guy. Now, the real question is, do you really love her if you're going to judge her over some silly dream? I sure hope that you won't.

[Hedphelym]

my girlfriend does also dream like that from time to time, and she tells me every time, because i can see that it's something that's bothering her when she wakes up, and i ask what it is, and she says she feels "guilty", and that she had a dream like that. She always tells me that she's sorry, and that she does not like to dream like that (she's always upsetsad for some hours after she's woken up). And she is always very good at telling me that it's me that she wants, and it's me she wants to be with etc (because sometimes i get a little upset to when she dreams these dreams). And i know that it's "just" dreams, and that it's normal to have these dreams, but sometimes i think it's a little hard to think about, specially when she dreams this with people i know.. but i dont use much time to think about it, because it's a dream, and it does not mean that she wants that person or something like that. So dont give up or anything, i know it can hurt, but it will go away after a while i guess

[Howie]

Originally posted by Gothlark+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Gothlark)</div> <!--QuoteBegin-Leo Volont Couples really need to show each other some discretion. I disagree with that. If you truly love the person, then there's no need to keep any secrets. If you truly love them, then you won't judge them for their secrets. Honestly, from my experience, almost all dreams have no real meaning. My guess is that it happened once randomly and that got her to expect it to happen. Sort of like a snowball effect. Don't worry about it. If she had the guts to tell you that, then she probably really loves you and wouldn't lie about not having feelings for the guy. Now, the real question is, do you really love her if you're going to judge her over some silly dream? I sure hope that you won't. [/b] Hi lol101. I wish I were welcoming you on a better note. But hello Just the same! I have to go with leo Volent on this one. lol101 says they are repeated dreams. I just disagree that dreams have no meaning. I wish I could give all people the benifit of the doubt. But she is more likely telling you this to make you feel jealous and insacure. Flat out tell her I care not to here of these dreams and I find it disrespectful for you to be telling me this, as you should already know. We all have fantasies from time to time. But: "Couples really need to show each other some discretion."

[Gothlark]

Howetzer, dreams have meaning, just not many of them do. Most are random, from my experience. Which, as you know, is quite a bit in this field. I'm not saying I'm definitely right, I'm merely speaking from experience. I explained that the reason it's repeated is that it's most likely a snowball effect. It happens randomly, she gets insecure about it and that causes it again, and eventually she just expects it to happen.

[lol101]

hi guys! thank u very much for the replies.. really appreciate it .. Well yup i know its just dream and dun mean that she want him or anything like that but just wonder why she had such as i always believe there are meanings for dreams.. i know n trust her very much. i know she only want me..as I only want her.. but just a bit wondering... ermm cud her conscious pr physic kinda stuff telling her something like im not the person for her since I cant against my fly to marry her or what .. haha mayb im thinking too much. Im not sure.. actually I felt little rather than disappointed. Me myself is a dreamer... i dream almost everyday... i like dreams .. i know sometimes our desires in deep inside our heart will reveal in dreams but cud be in different way or thru different person.. whatever it is .. dreams actually have meanings that we wun easily understand.. Am i right ?

[lol101]

I explained that the reason it's repeated is that it's most likely a snowball effect. It happens randomly, she gets insecure about it and that causes it again, and eventually she just expects it to happen.[/b] what 'snowball effect' really means? >> and eventually she just expects it to happen erm.. you mean she expects it (such dream) to happen ??

[Alric]

For all you know, the person she is dreaming about could be you. Dreams often don't mean anything and when they do, its not always clear. Maybe she just wants to become closer with someone. The person who shows up in the dream might not matter, the feelings however might. Maybe she wants to sleep you with?

[ElijahJones]

Alric could be onto something. She should be the one intepreting her dream. She apparently does not know the guy(s) in the dream, but it seems that she also does not know why she dreams likes this. If there is a meaning she should know it. Howetzer's point seems possible too. Hell she might be making it up to be a Beeyatch about the whole thing. Lets assume the best. If she is always dreaming of sex with another guy then maybe she is subconsciously wishing you were another guy, like that your relationship was different that somehow the two of you could stand up to her parents and just get it all out in the open. I say this with some trepidation because I can think of plenty of scenarios where the things that are not being shared would spell the intepretation out in plain english. I suspect that if it continues and you have anything like a respectful relationship she will leave you eventually, or otherwise resolve the dreams by intepretation or just stop having them. I guess on this one I feel that there is more to the story than just a few dreams. How do you end up hiding a relationship for ten years? EJ

[Gothlark]

Originally posted by lol101 what 'snowball effect' really means? >> and eventually she just expects it to happen erm.. you mean she expects it (such dream) to happen ?? Snowball effect means that it builds upon itself. Like when a snowball goes down a hill, it gets bigger and as it gets bigger it moves more. Yeah, what I mean to say is that after having them once randomly and a second time because it was on her mind after the first, she'll expect for the dream to happen again.

[lol101]

If she is always dreaming of sex with another guy then maybe she is subconsciously wishing you were another guy, like that your relationship was different that somehow the two of you could stand up to her parents and just get it all out in the open. [/b] Thats what i can bring to a close as well... She always sad and will tell me how nice if we cud be someone (else) whom will accepted by both family. And how lovely if we can marry and live happily as other couples do and etc. Of course i have those wish as well but she often convey and show that feelings to me.. I know her grief but sometimes i feel bad n distressed when she keep repeating the same thing and upset abt it.. So at times I will angry and ask her to leave me marry someone else. I cud not stand with her sadness and feel helpless and guilty. . Immediately she will feel sorry and assure that she will not able to leave or marry someone else. So we will settle and end by i advise her that we are who we are, cant be someone else ... i advise her to be patient n wait for one day dat our parents will understand our strong love n bless us and bla bla bla So mayb deep inside her heart she wish im someone else whom will fulfill all her desires! Ouch somehow it hurts … sry for bad weeping ..misuse the forum’s purpose ..

[tanaqui]

(hello, I'm new in the sense of just registered but I have been lurking for weeks and so not an utter n00b. I couldn't help but want to answer this guy). OK... speaking as someone roughly in your gf's situation (female, with a boyfriend I love dearly)... don't worry about this. I know I have dreamed I have sex with another guy - to whom I had not the smallest attraction to in real life (I mean, ew, he was years younger than me. We just happened to share a job). I've also dreamed of having sex with one of my best (female) friends, and I'm very straight. I don't think dreams are meaningless... but I don't think their meaning is straightforward. (And also that often enough their meaning is trivial. But that's getting offtopic). For example. It was clear to me when I woke up that the dreams about sex with my female friend were about more intimacy/honesty in that relationship. Dreams are entirely in metaphor, and sex is a very useful one - nakedness, lack of hiding, etc. As for the couple about the other guy, they also worked out to be something random about my job at the time. I haven't bothered to tell my bf about them, but I doubt he would take it very seriously. I wouldn't be upset at hearing that he dreamed about sex with someone else. And from talking to my female friends, pretty much all of them have 'cheated' on their partners in dreams. I can't promise that she's not just trying to mess with your head but it seems really unlikely. She seems to be feeling upset and guilty about this herself. Maybe you could talk about it. Say... ... that the dreams don't mean that she isn't destined to be with you. That they're not such a big deal, and to stop stressing about them, because if anything this worrying is probably triggering them and making them more likely - people tend to dream about stuff they have an emotional investment in. You know that they're not a threat, so there's no need to feel guilty. You could try talking about what they *do* mean - if for example if it's that she longs to live happily with her extended family, (and it seems likely that that's what this guy represents in her dream) then that's not at all a bad/wrong thing for her to want, or a sign your relationship is about to end. It is a perfectly natural (and healthy) sort of desire. Can you make it happen? I don't know your life, so I can't say. At least talk about it, and sympathise with her. Find some way of fixing the real-life situation, because the dream does tell you that there is something missing. Maybe you can mend things with your family? or forge a close group of accepting friends. It's your life, you know best. I'm sorry I rambled so long. What a first post, eh? Hope you feel better and sort it out. Please tell us all how it goes.