Dream about my father

[KStrz]

I hope that I will be able to provide sufficient information about what I dreamed last night, I am not the most skilled when it comes to dream recalling. First, some background information, when I was 8-years old (2005), my step-mother (Yvonne) of maybe a year or year-and-a-half murdered my father (and then committed suicide) sometime after he announced that he was leaving her. He was always a kinda peaceful guy, never wanting conflict and always taking good care of his children, so I had a good relationship with him. My father was first introduced to my Yvonne by the wife of a family friend, Greg. I also recall that my father and Greg were not exactly on speaking terms at the time of his death, due to a major disagreement between my father and Greg's wife, with Greg siding with his wife. I do not recall the specifics of this disagreement. I am not sure if the dream started here or if it was a later segment, but, I was a younger version of myself (around 8 or 10) inside what looked to be a bar that I have did not recognize. I recognized some of he patrons (although the ones I did recognize weren't drinking), including my father, Yvonne, and Greg. As soon as I saw him, I ran up to my father and hugged him several times, a part of me knowing that he was gone. It was announced that my father would marry Yvonne. I knew what would eventually come of the marriage between the two, but it was for some reason impossible to tell my father what the future would hold for him. I was able to make very vague comments that it wasn't a very good idea, but that was the extent of my capabilities to warn him. The only other person to really speak in my dream was Greg, but what he was saying is inconsequential, just small talk about the family. The next segment took place in what appeared to be a high-end restaurant, that for some reason also officiated marriages. I was still a younger version of myself, and still only recognized the three from earlier, who were now dressed up in formal attire. They had received their marriage certificate. Again, I suggested that it was not the best idea for them to go through with it, still blocked from revealing what would happen. I in fact may not have known within the dream the details on what would happen, but I knew that I should try to stop it. Again, only Greg spoke, until I recognized another person in the restaurant, my mother. I remember her speaking to me (when speaking to her I returned to my normal age of 16), saying that she couldn't handle what she had just dreamed about, then fleeing down one of the restaurant ally-ways upon my urging of her to tell me. I ran after her as well, and upon reaching her, I woke from the dream. Once I woke up, I called her and told her and after a few minutes of talking and nearing the end of the conversation, I began to choke up, after saying good bye, I cried for a minute or two. I am not sure if there is anything to interpret, but if there is, I would be curious as what it would be.

[JoannaB]

I think part of you wishes you could turn back time and warn your father and prevent what happened, but another part of you knows you cannot do that. It is interesting that your dream takes place in a bar and then a restaurant setting. Bars incidentally are one of my dream signs that keeps reoccurring in my dreams, so I have looked into what a bar could mean for me (though the meaning may be different for you). A bar is a place where there is alcohol of course which may mean addiction (though not necessarily just about alcohol addiction). A bar tender is also someone one can talk to and reveal stuff about oneself anonymously and not be judged. A bar is a social place, a place to get together with others. A place for happy hours, although sometimes the "happy" in happy hour is just make belief, and one may drown one's sorrow in a drink and try to forget. A bar is also a place one may go to when lonely. A place to perhaps meet someone, either as a single meeting a stranger or on a date. A restaurant on the other hand implies more substantial food, this food may nourish the body or even the soul, comfort food, but it is generally not a wholesome as homemade food. A wedding at a restaurant may be a less official wedding, less real perhaps. Although weddings usually do involve receptions and rehearsal dinners, so restaurants are often a place that one does go to around the time of a wedding. Marriage is supposed to be nourishing and wholesome, although in the case of your father and stepmother obviously it was not. What is most interesting to me in this dream is the mention of dreaming, where your mother says that she cannot handle what she was dreaming about. I suspect that some subconscious part of you was close to realizing that you were dreaming. I find in my dreams that my mother often stands in for a part of my own personality, and if that were the case in your dream as well, then a subconscious part of you said to more conscious you that you cannot handle what you are dreaming about. I think this may be the important message of this dream: you are suffering by seeing your father and stepmother get married in our dreams, you suffer because you cannot stop what happened and you cannot stop it happening over again in your dreams. My advice to you, if I may be so bold: try living more in the present moment. I know this must be hard for you. But living in these memories whether in waking or dream life will not accomplish anything because you cannot warn your dad, you cannot undo what happened. You can however suffer less in the present by spending less time remembering the past. In waking life, whenever you catch yourself reliving your memories, try to bring your thoughts back to the here and now. Concentrate on what is going on in our life now. Especially before going back to sleep but also throughout the day, try to think as much as possible of what is going on in your present life. Try meditation, or other mindfulness approaches. Think peaceful thoughts as often as you can. Catch negative emotions especially ones that you cannot do anything constructive about, and try to redirect them in waking life. Hopefully, this will make a dream like this less likely, because you really should not need to handle such a dream, though of course given your life it is easier said than done. Peace be with you.

[KStrz]

And also with you. Thank you for the interpretation! It did seem to make quite a lot of sense in the circumstances of what happened in my life and dream. I believe that I have mostly gotten over what happened to him, although I suppose I will always have the occasional relapse, such as this one. I do try to live and think positively, although, as I said, every so often, I just get dragged down by life. Thanks again, I really do appreciate you putting forth the time to analyze my dream.