The most bittersweet dream I have had in a while

[Tyler13]

I don’t know how inspired I am to tell this story anymore since it is my third time trying to type it and post it. I sense there is a force trying to prevent me from publishing my experience but then it might just be my incompetence. Anyway I am 22 years old, I am still a virgin, and as of lately I’ve had a bit of turmoil in my life. Also I have been studying a lot of dating advice and some of that definitely made its way into my dream Some of the pressing issues that have been on my mind lately are: I’m feeling older and unaccomplished, I want to have intimacy and a bond with a woman, I want to move out of my parents house, I want to be a professional poker player, I’m contemplating going back to school. I’ve just gotten over a gloomy period of my life where I didn’t have any sight of the future. I was kinda lost per say, I had no vision, but I am feeling better now. Without any further ado, here is my dream: I don’t know exactly how this dream started but I remember being in a house or a hospital, some sort of building. I remember it being darkly lit with a red tint to the place. There were lots of people around, it was a party atmosphere. I remember there being lots of people from high school there. I love parties, especially because I get to meet lots of girls, this time it was a bit different. I remember feeling super confident, just feeling top notch. I was walking around when I see these two girls I didn’t think much of in high school but now seemed to be very attractive. For some reason they are hanging out in the bathroom of this place, but in contrast to the dark, gloomy vibe of this place, the bathroom is bright and sky blue, very well lit. I walk up to them just exuding confidence and don’t really say anything except start handling them and slap them on the their butts and they seem to like it. I felt as though I could realistically have sex with them then and there but I stop myself because the bathroom walls are tile and somewhat transparent, transparent enough to see the silhouettes inside. I also didn’t want to do anything because I feel like they would crave me more if I just teased them(I know I’m silly). I leave and I walk down the hallway when I see another girl from high school that I never really talked too. She was looking down to the floor sitting in a chair by herself away from the party. I remember her being quiet and shy, not really popular but really pretty. I looked at her and she had crescent shaped pupils. As I kept looking they changed shapes similar to a kaleidoscope but less intense and less colorful. I assumed she was wearing some sort of contact and complimented her, “cool eyes”. I remember thinking to myself that she didn’t need contacts to get attention from guys. She said she won them back in high school in the south park contest(the cartoon I’m assuming). I pretended to know what she was talking about but I had no clue. I commented on how long ago that was, the usual. After I left her and got to this room that was crowded with people, it seemed to be the living room or kitchen of the place. I traversed the crowd and ran into my buddy. 80% of all parties that I’ve ever been to I have gone with this good friend. I don’t remember coming to this specific party with him but had the feeling that we were there together. I gave him the look and a nod of acknowledgement and kept going. Then I remember getting into a quarrel with this one guy. I’m not fond of getting into fights, quite the opposite actually. I remember him being very angry with me and not letting up. I have never been in a fight in my entire life, but for some reason I felt I could take this guy. I’m short and kinda skinny and this guy was taller and bigger than me, not to mention he was black. Still I felt I could take him. I felt an anxiety but a calm one if that makes any sense. As we squared up to fight I suddenly threw up in my mouth. That sort of broke the would be fight. I calmly walked away and kept exploring the venue with vomit in my mouth! I got to this door which I got the vibe of it being a bedroom at this place. I surprisingly found a sink in this room where I spit out my vomit which had pieces of crab legs and a whole claw, with bits of white meat in it. The sink had a flushing mechanism like a toilet which I used to get rid of the vomit. When I turned around I found myself in sort of like an ICU at a hospital. I kept my gaze low in order to not see any dismembered limbs or disfigured people(figured that is what I would see) and proceeded to make my way out. As I made my way to the end, at the last bed before the exit, I see another high school friend at the side of this bed. I greet her as she is holding the hand of the person in the bed. When I look over to the bed I notice it is the girl with the kaleidoscope eyes. I hear her chest gargle so I assume she has lung cancer. I felt very sad that she was dying so young, and that her life was tragically ending that way. I felt like she was never really accomplished, always worried about what people thought about her even though she was very beautiful, and was now tragically dying like this. I patted her on her forehead and said your ok. She asks her friend for one last cigarette and as I leave I hear her die. I continue to walk without looking back because I figured there is nothing I can do to comfort her now she is gone. When I get outside I find myself in the parking lot, but this parking lot reminds me of where I used to wait for my mom in middle school. It was not exactly the same though. The scene had a dark yellowish tint to it. As I’m walking I see another friend of the girl with kaleidoscope eyes waiting in her car, looking down and gloomy. I get in her passenger seat and just sort of sit there. I know girls can be easily manipulated when vulnerable so I tried not to touch her in order not to seem creepy. I used to have a huge crush on this girl all through out high school and partially in college. I say hi to her but she ignores me, and I’m fine with the silence. A few minutes later I wake up What does this mean?

[JoannaB]

JoannaB sings "Picture yourself in a boat on a river,* With tangerine trees and marmalade skies* Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,* A girl with kaleidoscope eyes." The girl with kaleidoscope eyes in your dream reminded me of this old Beetles song, which is supposedly about being high on LSD or about a little girl named Lucy, depending on who you believe. Anyway, it seems to me like for at least part of the dream you may have been high or drunk. The vomit in your mouth at a party, and then at a hospital because of it. Of course, some people say that the feeling we have in dreams is often like feeling kind of drunk, so it could be that part of your mind was trying to process that. You clearly are hoping to date girls and your dream confirms it, but I would hope that in waking life you know that slapping two girls on their butts won't help you. in our dreams though we often are uninhibited, and do things we wouldn't do in real life. It's natural that you will dream of girls you found attractive in real life, and nothing wrong with that. Just make sure to be nicer to girls in real life than in your dreams, and you should be fine. The friend being there at the party is because you usually go to such events with him, so you expect him there, and it's interesting how your mind justifies things even though you don't remember him bringing you there but you figure he must have. That's just typical dream rationalization. Similarly I think you see the girl with kaleidoscope eyes at the hospital because you expect her to be there (since she is on your mind from earlier in your dream), but then you need a rational for why she is there in the hospital, so she winds up dying - it may not be significant, may be just a logical flaw of random thoughts "vomit means you need hospital, you are at hospital but you think of girl, so she is there, why is she there, she must be sick, sick leads to dying, she is dying so she dies." I am not sure the dream means much beyond that, unless you have a strong nagging feeling that it means something. If you do, then by all means seek an interpretation, but remember that while others can help, you yourself are most likely to interpret your own dreams most accurately because you know your own experiences and mental associations the best.

[Madstrike]

Keep in mind that, as JoannaB stated, the best person to interpret your dreams will always be the person who had the dream. You can look at what people say about it and maybe it will connect some dots for you, but in the end you are the one who decides what makes sense or not. On the other hand, she also said wisely, that dreams sometimes might not have a significant meaning, it could just be your mind throwing together random things, while your body rests. With that said, many times in dreams(this is not a staple), we project our own feelings into other people inside our dreams. Sometimes its what we might think of them or simply what we think of ourselves projected on others. When you said " I felt like she was never really accomplished, always worried about what people thought about her even though she was very beautiful, and was now tragically dying like this", I kind got the feeling you could be referring to yourself, subconsciously, because of the other things you said about yourself and other situations in your dream. Take that with a grant of salt, Im really just taking a wild guess here.

[Darkmatters]

That's just typical dream rationalization... I was thinking exactly the same - well before that part. Especially with the vomiting in the mouth followed by spitting out crab parts - it's pure dream schema in action. Vomiting got you out of the fight you didn't want to be in, but then spitting out parts of crab explains why you threw up - and does it without saying that it was from nervousness about the fight. Seafood often makes people sick, it's one of the most common reasons for vomiting. Then of course the idea of sickness naturally led to a hospital scene... I don't know if it's significant that you were in a situation rife with potential for both sexuality and violence and managed to get through it without really experiencing either though you came close to both. Maybe the dream is saying that you're afraid you're too timid to make either happen? Or maybe it simply reflects the very common idea that you need to experience both in order to really 'become a man'. Or it could be saying you're ok without having done either so far, I really can't tell from what you wrote. But I'll just toss out those possibilities so you can ponder them and see if any seem to fit. ** Edit: Just realized - you seem to have gone through the entire dream wanting to avoid everything around you, as if to insulate or protect yourself from life. You did start off going for sexy-time in the bathroom but seemed to get nervous or suddenly develop scruples you didn't have at first, and from that moment on you tried to avoid everything. Not sure what that means though - if it's telling you 'this is the way you are and you need to change it' or something else. For that we'd need to know more about the feelings you had around the dream.