Dreams That She Never Really Died

[xosunshineox]

My mother passed away 4 months ago at the age of 39. She had quite a few medical problems and towards the end of her life, she lost most of her weight and no longer looked like the mother I knew. Recently I've been dreaming of her just as she looked the moment I found her deceased. These dreams aren't very vivid, and I never recall her actually talking to me, although I talk to her. In my dreams it's as if I'm seeing her in current times, after her passing. I'm shocked to see her alive because I thought she was dead! My mother was addicted to OTC pills and this is no different in my dreams. In my dream last night, again it's pretty blurry, I see her and I can't believe she's alive. I try to ask her what happened, how could she be alive, where was she all this time we thought she was dead. No reply. There is a bunch of people around, I'm not sure of who or where because all I was focused on was my mother. Next thing I know I'm looking for her (similar to when I found her deceased), and I find her collapsed in a bathroom. She looked dead, and I was pretty sure she had died a second time. Immediately I hugged her thinking this time I won't miss the chance to hug her one last time. I was hugging my mother, but also shaking her (again... like I did when I found her deceased). She came to after a few moments and in fact, she was no longer dead. I still couldn't get any answers out of her, and then my dream ended. What confuses me is that in any of my other dreams that don't involve my mother, I'm not actually aware of my physical state of mind or what may be bothering me. In the dreams with her, I know exactly what has happened to her four months ago in the physical world and how I feel about it. It's a different kind of dream that I've never had before, or not that I recall.

[JoannaB]

I can understand why this must be disturbing to you. Hug. That's all I have to say about this.