I wanted to die

[Knowlop]

So I had a dream last night. Me and some others were in a car driving around, not sure who it was or what kind of car. I think we were some sort of like ghetto kids. There were public housing buildings around and i remember a lot of "gangster" looking people. But we stopped at a gas station and something happens where we get into a fight with a group of other guys. One pulls a gun and starts unloading, everyone runs including me and I try to jump in the car to take cover. I'm hit, one skims my head the other to my right hip. And then it gets weird. At first I didn't want to get shot, then I got hit and played dead so I wouldn't get shot again. But, then I thought to myself, I actually want to die, so I start moving and getting up hoping he would kill me. That was scary. Not sure what happens but eventually I'm conscious but can't see and my friends are all around me trying to help me, then a second later everyone's just gone. Everyone. More happens but it's not important at all. I'm scared, why did I want to die?

[101Volts]

There's not much to go on here from my view of what you posted. I did read this about gas stations on another site: "Gas Station: To dream that you are at a gas station indicates a need to reenergize and revitalize yourself. You may be running low on energy and need to take time out to refuel. The dream also represents your ability to convert outside resources and use it for your own needs. Alternatively, dreaming that you are in a gas station means that you need to reach out to others and offer your help. " Or perhaps it means something else, I'm not sure. I do know I was about to recommend you slow down and rest, Prior to my reading about the gas station interpretation. And perhaps drink more water more often if you don't do that very much; It may help you get a clearer perspective. (If you drink sodas a lot I imagine you're feeling pretty low on energy right about now.)

[JoannaB]

Well, one possible interpretation could be that you are depressed. Are you depressed in real life? Think about it carefully and evaluate the symptoms of depression. One of them is wanting to die or thinking of death a lot. However, if this is just a one time dream, and you do not have any other symptoms of depression, then that's not it. But got to eliminate such an option first. If you are not depressed, there are other options, including but not limited to: perhaps while you dream that "you want to die" what you mean but that is that you want to change in some fundamental way? Or maybe your dreaming mind thought: I don't want to die. And then some other part of your mind asked: why?And you did not have enough awareness to be able to coherently answer that question in your dream, so you came up with: ok, maybe I do want to die after all. Alternatively, maybe your mind is fond of drama, and it is more dramatic to want to die. It's like fiction stories and movies in which shots are fired, and it would be boring if nobody died. Someone dying may add excitement to the story. And in a dream, tha someone might as well be you, according to your subconscious who is willing to sacrifice your conscious self in the dream because heck it knows it's just a dream, and it's a better story if the protagonist dies. And since your subconscious may know that this is just a dream, it's not like anyone really gets hurt. An alternative could be that this dream is about your willingness to sacrifice yourself for the cause. For example, if you are the kind of person who is willing to do something that no one wants to do, but you are willing to do it, because somebody has got to do it. This dream could be about that if you are that kind of person. It could also be of course that none of the above interpretations are correct if none of them seem right to you.

[NewZealand]

now thats a bit far joanna, when people have dreams like this it usually doesnt mean anything. Dont think too much into it as you dont want to make yourself think you have certain problems. it was just a dream after all.

[JoannaB]

Which of my many possible interpretations was the one you found far fatching? I assume the first, and that you did not even read on to notice that I had several others including the option that it was just random thoughts struck together. From your responses to several threads I assume you don't believe in dream interpretation at all, and that is fine too. You do not have to interpret your dreams. However, some people find dream interpretation useful, and people who post a dream in this section of the forum asking about its meaning generally do so because they think they may gain an insight from it. Of course, any interpretation anyone posts can be wrong, and the dreamer should not accept an interpretation that does not fit with their own feelings/thoughts/issues.

[NewZealand]

Which of my many possible interpretations was the one you found far fatching? I assume the first, and that you did not even read on to notice that I had several others including the option that it was just random thoughts struck together. From your responses to several threads I assume you don't believe in dream interpretation at all, and that is fine too. You do not have to interpret your dreams. However, some people find dream interpretation useful, and people who post a dream in this section of the forum asking about its meaning generally do so because they think they may gain an insight from it. Of course, any interpretation anyone posts can be wrong, and the dreamer should not accept an interpretation that does not fit with their own feelings/thoughts/issues. My point is that you cannot know if someone has depression from their dreams, you can only know that from your thoughts in actual life. I just dont want people thinking they are depressed or w/e else because of the contents of their dreams.

[JoannaB]

I agree that one cannot tell that one is depressed from a dream alone that would be foolish. However dream thoughts are formed based on waking thoughts. A person who is depressed will very likely have dreams of wanting death or accepting death. The opposite is not true: a person who has dreams of death is not very likely depressed - they may be depressed or they may be having these dreams for other reasons. People who are depressed may be depressed for a long time without consciously realizing it. I know that because it has happened to me: by the time I usually realize that I have been depressed, I have usually been that way for much longer than I would have if I had realized it earlier. there are usually warning signs. One possible warning sign is dreams. All I was asking was for the dreamer to check symptoms of depression and ask self whether he or she could be depressed. If the answer is no, then great, can move on to another explanation for the dream, and yes one of the possible explanations is that it was just a random series of dream thoughts without much profound meaning, that's also possible. However, if the person is actually depressed, maybe asking this question will help him or her realize this. I think that the idea that someone who was not depressed before would become depressed because some stranger on the Internet said that was a possible explanation for the dream is very far fetched - I do not have that much power. The point is that I cannot know whether Knowlop is or is not depressed, but Knowlop can know that subconsciously without being aware of it yet. A dream of death may be a sign of depression or not, but I think it is one possible explanation that is worth examining, and hopefully discarding - I really hope that that's not the actual explanation, but it is a possibility (less likely so in this case admittedly than in the case of another person on this forum who has repeated dreams of death).

[Knowlop]

I will say that I do have moderate depression but I won't go any deeper. It has been getting better lately so that is why I am confused to why this happened when it did. Also, about the gas station, I don't want to just say that is it for sure but that sounds exactly right. I'm exhausted of the struggles everyday and I guess I do need a sort of "refuel." Which leads to the death where you said there's some sort of fundamental change ocurring. I've been trying to change myself completely recently. I am becoming a Buddhist because I would like to eventually be at peace with myself and the world, I've been being more productive lately and have gotten back into exercising regularly and have picked up some hobbies. I feel like this is more than a dream because it can't just be a coincidence that all the stuff that happened describes what I'm currently going through. If you need anymore information about the dream or me just ask, I would love to get to the bottom of this.

[JoannaB]

It's earie how much your life sounds like mine recently. My two death dreams that I can remember occurred one once I started being more aware and dealing with the crisis and the other following the last most stressful day after I had pretty much pulled myself out of the crisis (with exercise, greater self awareness, and other self improvements). Why did I dream of death on those days? I think the first one when I first became aware makes sense in that it is one of the first dreams I recalled after a long time. For all I know when I had no dream recall I may have dreamed of death a lot. The death dream after last stressful day was a bit more surprising to me, since I was pretty much out of the crisis, and just had had a stressful day but I was no longer emotional in as bad a shape. Sometimes I wonder wether my dreams at times need a while to catch up with waking life or I am so used to thinking and dreaming a certain way that inertia just has not yet fully caught up. Dreams do exaggerate, so one stressful day can lead to a dream of death, and as long as I know that right then my waking self is mostly ok, I figure, no big deal and I then do not take that dream as seriously as if I see a pattern in waking life supporting that dream.

[Knowlop]

My mind is blown right now. I would have never believed that dreams were as powerful and meaningful as they are until I experienced it myself. This has gotten me the motivation to become a better person and start taking control of who I am. I recently got back into dating after about a year and met an amazing girl, I just signed up for a membership to a gym about an hour ago, and my depression seems to either be fading away or is being masked by all the positive things happening lately. Well I hope it is fading away and I haven't had any nightmares or even just a bad dream in a long time so I hope I can stick to this path and never have to look back. Thanks a ton for the help! I'm going to start becoming a lot more active on here so I hope to see you around!

[Nagirroc]

I had a dream earlier this year where I was in a classroom, and there was this invisible bug that bit the teacher and she died, then the bug bit me in the palm of my right hand, it then filled with a black ink looking substance and my arm swelled to twice it's size, I instantly thought I was about to die and I bite the bubble in an attempt to get the poison out, then the venom started to burn my lips. I instantly start looking for my wife realizing I still had so much to share with her, and started freaking out because she was gone. Then I woke up. I feel the dream was more of a death of ego scenario. The weird part was when I woke up there was a little dot on my hand where I got bit, I chalk that up as a strange coincidence. Still tripped me out though.