What could this dream signify? Changed gender to a man.

[maarnie]

And I just realized how misleading that title was. Oh well. I can't change it now. :\ - Well, I'm just going to say it in advance, I'm really sorry if my english is terrible, but I'm from Norway, so it's not really my first language. And with that done I'll just quickly say that I am a 17 year old girl. And now, let me tell you more about my dream. What I first can remember was me narrating slightly inside of my head, or rather not narrating, but maybe thinking would be a better word. I was aware of a fact that had happened earlier in the dream. I do sadly not remember anything of that said happening as I only remember things starting from here on... I had just undergone a surgery to become a male and apparently I had been going on T (testosterone) for a while, and I had a small penis, about 2 inches long maybe. I didn't think much about it in the dream, this was after all a normal thing for me there. What I did the most was to walk into the garage reading stories, and masturbating. A lot. I would also take a piss in there occasionally. The garage looked almost like it does here in real life, just less packed with items, and there wasn't a car in there as there usually is. There was four wheels stacked on top of each other in the left corner, as far as you could go inside there. I used to sit there to read. There was also a small shoe shelf there, used as a table, or item keeping. I can't remember any more specific items in there but that. What mostly happened was that I read, jerked off, and took a piss, since I never wanted inside, this repeated a couple of times Well, until I found a skinnier version of mom(?) (My mother is an overweight person, this was a movie star thin person, so it could have been someone else.)), or another woman sitting on my stack of wheels, reading through the book of stories I had in there. She said a few words to me as she kept reading, and I felt really embarrassed and uncomfortable with her around, so with the belief she would never leave the garage ever again, I went to the garden on the other side of the house as my now favourite spot to hide on. There wasn't anything interesting happening there either. It was just the same as inside the garage, I jerked off. Honestly I didn't feel anything about it. I just did it for the sake of doing it. The hedge looked also pretty similar to what it is where I live in real life, the garden too. Except there wasn't a house where my house should have been. During this whole dream, I felt pretty emotionless, as I usually am in my awaken self. I just observed things through my own eyes, without actually getting much information about what I myself thought and felt. All I thought and felt throughout the dream was that I knew I had undergone a surgery to become a man, and I felt uncomfortable with the woman inside the garage, maybe a sense of excitement while reading the book and masturbating outside? There was my dream. I'm sorry there's so little to go around with, but this is what I could recall after 3 days after having this dream. As for things I think could be related to this? Well, me and my friend has been discussing how it would have been to be a man lately. And she too had a dream where she was turned into a man the day before I had this dream myself. Though, hers were more exciting, sexual and vampire filled, while mine is filled with masturbation. Yay... I'm also a lesbian, or so I do believe that I am. Though lately I've been thinking of how it would be if I were a guy, or at least if I would try to dress and act more like it. I don't have much of a ''relationship'' with the garage or the garden, so I don't know where that came from. As for my mother, or this mystery woman, I got no idea where she came from. I don't have a bad relationship with my mother, but I did talk to her volunteering to give the students on my old high school about sexual education, because during the time I went there, they didn't really bother to go through it before I decided to suggest it. Big mistake. We had 5 hours with a College teacher who had traveled from another city, and taught us about the wonders of abstinence. I also have this weird habit of daydreaming of men jerking off, every single freaking day, even though I don't like men that way. Maybe it's because of a slight sting of jealousy? This is more stuff I'm unsure about, but could be lying in the back of my head for a while. Ever since I started to wear more ''socially acceptable'' clothes, and not looking like a bum, I don't really feel like myself, or how I should be, rather. I used to wear huge baggy clothes to hide my body with, didn't care about my hair, never using make up, couldn't care less about my appearance, but now? Now I wear a bowler hat, use make up during special occasions, scarves, a thin open jacket and a shirt in either white, orange, blue and black. And I force myself to care a little more. And I don't like it really. Though I've had that style for over a year now, it still doesn't feel like me. I'm not sure how that got anything to do with anything, but oh well, I'll just add it in. I am a very imaginative person, and last year, I created my own original character in a medieval fantasy setting (don't give me that look. I just like to daydream, ok?) Which of whom, was a transexual man, and later that character got changed into a man. I actually went through a lot of searching for information to understand transexuality a little more after creating him. I'm not sure how an over a year old character got anything to do with it, I just felt like adding it in...

[mettw]

The garage I suppose is just a symbol of manhood. As for your mother having a different body, I wouldn't read anything into that. It happens a lot in dreams and for no reason that I can ever see. As for the whole transexual thing, I think you answered your own question: It just comes from wondering what it would be like to be the opposite sex. This is something we all wonder about, so it doesn't mean that you are transexual or anything. I mean, as much as we men baulk at "secret women's business" and don't want to hear about it, there is still a great deal of curiosity about what it is to be a woman. I suspect that your thoughts about behaving more like men has the same cause. If you pay attention to your thoughts you will find that the way you mull things over in your mind is to imagine yourself in the situation that you are trying to figure out. It sounds as though this is what you are doing with the "transexual" thoughts. Just don't let those thoughts degenerate into envy because, believe me, there is nothing in manhood to be envious of. The bad news is that you will never understand manhood, just as we men will never understand womanhood. The good news is that this mystery of the opposite sex is a good part of what makes them so attractive. So my advice is: Embrace the mystery! It's great fun. I know you say that you think you might be a lesbian, but you ended the post with a description of yourself that sounds very much like someone who is depressed. Don't confuse lesbianisn with despair of ever being attractive to the opposite sex (Which a lot of depressed people suffer from). If that wild guess is right then my advice is: If you can't find any hope in life then just live your life as if you did have hope.

[maarnie]

Garage is a sign of manhood? huh, interesting. And yeah, you may be right. But only the future has the answer to all questions, so I'll keep an open mind. And I am a lesbian. I have never really managed to feel attracted to men, but rather women. Since I was 13, I've started to fall for more and more girls and couldn't care less about men in a romantic or sexual way. (though, I would think having slight sexual daydreams, and your physical attraction in reality would be different from one another? ) And I wouldn't say that I am depressed either. Sad at times, but not depressed. I haven't been depressed since I was 10-13 years old, which could have affected the way of how I cared about how I looked and act like to this very day, no denying that. Tough, I also have a way of writing myself that way, and I'm not doing on purpose. . I've been fighting through it once, and I am perfectly fine now. But thank you either way for your concerns. And again, thank you for your insight. It is really appreciated.