Dream of betrayal?

[BlueEyes24]

Never done this before but a dream I had last night has disturbed me, I have been seeing a lad for around 6 months, but we're not together yet. In my dream I was falling hard and heavy for this lad, but when we were at a party one night this girl appeared from nowhere. I remember being told go and get drinks for me and him and when I returned he was walking out of a bedroom with the same girl, after this happened we went back to mine pretending everything was ok and my heart was already starting to break. The lad was acting strange and walked out of my room, anyway I followed and opened the door to people sitting around a table with pictures of other girls I know past and present, asking him did he like any of them. One picture that was held up was a girl I had trouble with a few years ago (she slept with an ex boyfriend of mine leaving me heartbroken, and not being able to trust anyone) he said he wanted to see her from the photo, and when mine was held up he said 'Shes not girlfriend material' I remember opening the door crying and hitting him calling him names. He then walked out of my house and when I looked out of the window, the girl I had trouble with was stood there waiting for him, looking at the window knowing I was there. I then went back to my room crying, and my late grandpa walked in and said 'Matters of the heart are tricky and you will get hurt. Build the walls, build them high and strong' and then he disappeared. I pretended to be asleep when this lad came back to mine, I could tell by his voice that he was upset things had to be this way. He had made me a cup of tea, and then sat down on the edge of the bed crying and stroking my hair, then he said bye and walked out. The dream has left me feeling confused, do I continue with the way things are, and keep this lad away from that girl. Or is my dream playing on the fact I've been hurt in the past and warning me I'll betrayed again. One fact I'm most disturbed about is the girl at the party was only thirteen, again I don't know why I would dream of something so wrong on so many levels. I don't normally remember my dreams but ones that are like this I do remember.

[Mismagius]

Or is my dream playing on the fact I've been hurt in the past and warning me I'll betrayed again. I'd say that's pretty spot on, except I don't think it's predicting the future or anything, just your subconscious expressing a fear you have. Since you've been seeing this boy it's probably brought back those bad memories, triggering this dream. I wouldn't make any big decisions based on this dream, just because he did this in a dream doesn't mean he'll do anything like this in waking life. *Moved to Dream Interpretation*

[JoannaB]

...and not being able to trust anyone ... ...Build the walls, build them high and strong ...my dream playing on the fact I've been hurt in the past and warning me I'll betrayed again... Your dream reminds me of an anecdote in the book "The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep" by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche: a man walks by a house in which a couple are arguing with each other, this triggers a memory of his parents arguing when he was a kid, so that night he dreams that he is arguing with his wife, and he wakes up angry at his wife, not realizing that this had nothing to do with her but all to do with him grasping a memory from his childhood when overhearing people arguing that day - something he way not even consciously remember anymore. Just like the man's wife, your lad has done nothing wrong in waking life as far as we know, and the dream does not indicate that he will. It is very unlikely to be a dream predicting his future, much more likely it is a dream recalling your past and superimposing it on the present. Judging the present by the past is something we humans tend to do, and yet it is a problem because the past does not always repeat itself, especially when the people involved are different. Your issue is that you no longer trust. I understand that since a family member of mine once lied so much to me that I have issues trusting too. And yet we need to try to trust when trust seems to be warranted because living one's life without trust is difficult and unpleasant and often gets someone hurt. Your dream grandpa's advice to build thick and tall walls around yourself, one the one hand you may be less likely to feel the hurt in the event if you are betrayed again (you will be hurt in such an event but maybe you can pretend to yourself that you are not, and suppress it), but if one builds walls that are too thick and too tall, that makes true relationships impossible: love requires trust. There is nothing wrong with being cautious and waiting and evaluating a while whether the lad is trustworthy. However, if you never trust him, even if he gives you no sign of not being trustworthy, why should he love you if you think worse of him and and do not trust and thus do not love him?