A few nightmares I'd appreciate interpreting please?

[anethara]

Hi - I'm not sure whether to post this in the dream interpretation or nightmares section, I'm sorry if I've gotten it wrong! I'm also sorry if this is too long, I'll try to keep it as short as possible whilst not sacrificing relevant details. Also warning, some bits might be gory. For the past few weeks I've either not been dreaming, or I've been having very vivid nightmares that make me feel bad or off throughout the rest of the day. The vividness is odd because I can usually only remember hazy fragments of my dreams. For some context, the things that I think might be relevant are that (I don't know if any of this will help?) I'm 19 and female. For possible sources of distress, I went through a break up of a three year relationship in September, in early May an acquaintance (boyfriend of my friend) died in my house and I gave his body CPR and it's understandably caused a lot of anxiety in my friend group and I come from an abusive childhood. I'm on a six month break from university and re-doing the year next year due depression and disliking my university, course and lack of stable career prospects (for financial reasons I can't switch). I'm also in the process of quitting smoking. In my first dream, the death I mentioned happened exactly like it happened in real life except it happened in my childhood home, and directly afterwards everyone but me and him disappeared and the ambulance and police didn't show up like in real life. I ended up carving up the body. I felt disconnected and on autopilot, and I have no idea why I did it. Then the scene changed and I was waiting outside of a court room, I felt apathetic and nonchalant. In the court room, lawyers told me explicitly the reasons his death was my fault. Nobody mentioned the carving but all I could think about was made up excuses as to why I carved him up and feeling proud of myself when I got a good one. I woke up after that. In my second dream, I had a child (I don't in real life - the child was hazy, literally just a faceless kind of silhouette, but it wasn't creepy, my dream just didn't fill in the details) of about 7ish and for a day out I took them to a local "haunted house". It was just a really big wooden house that looked about to fall down, that was dark and made me feel incredibly uneasy with tour guides in the first two floors. At one point I almost drowned in a room full of water whilst I held the hand of my kid, trying to swim away from dead feet following us. In my peripheral vision at one point someone I hated in college there having a really good time. I realised if I wished for things (I can't remember what I wished for), they came true, so I ended up really liking the house, however creepy, because I got things I wanted. I went back to my house (a street and house I've never seen in real life) and saw my neighbours house set fire with them inside (again, totally fictional people), killing them, and I was back at the house. I felt a sinking feeling and understood it was because I'd used the house for my own gains. The same sequence ended up happening again and I ended up back at the house after another cycle. I tried to go through the house again, not using the house for my own gain. I was sure it'd worked and I'd broken the time loop, I hadn't. So instead I went back, for some reason it was New Years Eve, and there were no tour guides there. I reached the top level of the house, and found my ex boyfriend with a new girlfriend (entirely fictional, again). I have an intense emotional reaction and lose myself, having far less control than I would in real life, and fall to the floor and start pounding on it sobbing, asking why he's with her now. The girlfriend has no expression on her face, doesn't move and doesn't say anything - I think she may have been pregnant but I can't remember well (maybe significant as the reason we broke up in real life was that he wanted kids and I didn't). He explains that about a year into our relationship he really liked her, and was just waiting for me to break up with him so he could be with her. I leave the house, completely broken up but at least optimistic I may have stopped the cycle, only to find "2013" banners everything, so I know I'm back in time so still in the time loop. I feel a sinking in my stomach and wake up. The third (and final) dream that's sort of getting to me is one I can remember less vividly. I was outside my old university accommodation, getting a bus with a lot of children (to get to university sometimes I was on a bus with all the school children) to my current house (where I feel very safe and happy). I'd accidentally gotten the wrong bus, but I knew the route well so I got off the bus and began to walk, but as I get closer the environment morphs into me going towards my childhood home. There are human growths everywhere (bits of hands, bits of skin, etc) and I feel creeped out and like this is a sign of worse things to come, but only feel unease, not terror, as they're not sentient, but I know for sure that when it forms something sentient that thing is evil. To get home, I have to step on some rocks floating in deep, black, gunky water (fictional, this doesn't exist in real life), knowing if I fall off I will probably drown and die. I'm very worried about dropping my childhood teddy (one I still sleep with in real life) and losing it in the water, so I drop it from worrying and grab it back again, almost falling off. I meet with an acquaintance for college and we walk to my house, to find a lot of people from my college. I'm not alarmed as it's like I've invited them or expected them to be there. I go to my room and find myself in my pyjamas, and become incredibly alarmed and panicked because I realise that these growths have finally formed something sentient, and I begin to attack the other me. The person I initially met up with comes into the room, she looks confused and tell us to tell her something to identify ourself, the other me says nothing (I don't think it could speak) and I tell her the history of the dream. She starts attacking the other me with me and I wake up. Even if you don't comment, thank-you so so much if you've managed to read through all that.

[RiftMeUp]

Well, the only person that can really make sense of a dream is the person having dreamt it (and even then it can be difficult). Since I've been looking for a way to induce specific dreams, I've taken an interest in figuring out dream-logic. Sort of revers-enginering dreams to figure out how to select one in advance. As far as I can tell schema selection have it's base in emotion, but the specifics of how the schema is expressed has a high degree of randomness to it based on recent memories (within a 2 day timeframe typically, but not exclusivly). That got a little cryptic So here's a fictional example to make it more clear. On Sunday I mowed the lawn, I saw a movie and went grocery shopping. On Monday I went to work, filled out my taxes and had pizza. Say my mood is grim going to bed Monday night. The chain of associations ie. the schema could be; person being shot (a variation of a death from the movie on Sunday) -> blood (directly associated to death) -> red lawn (color from blood + memory of mowing on Sunday mixed up) -> attacked by zombies while mowing (more death + memory of a tv-show from last week). But say my mood is positive and I feel happy going to bed Monday night. The chain of associations could go like this; I'm at a party filled with people I like (random scenario based only on mood) -> we have pizza (directly taken from Monday night memory) -> I find my first girlfriend present and we talk about old times (random element) -> we notice we need more dip and go shopping for it (Sunday memory from seeing dip on sale at the supermarket). Overall the mistake may people seem to make, is to go blindly for a metaphor for things in dreams. - When mostly they are twists and mixes of recent events, mixed with bits selected by your emotional state. Put differently - that you carved up someone doesn't mean anything in and of itself. It sounds like an association made to death.. possibly spawned by another memory (seen a show with forensics in it, like CSI?). As I started out by saying, only the dreamer can really make a good analysis. What your memories are and how they combine and twist in a dream is very, very much a purely personal experince that can't be explained in a satisfying way by another person. - If you want to understand all three dreams I'd suggest picking them apart in the smalles bits possible and see what sense each bit can make to you.

[JoannaB]

Dream 1 I think is caused by feelings of guilt that you could not do more to revive this person, that he died despite your CPR, so you subconsciously maybe blame yourself that you did not save him? Dream 2 is about guilt over selfishness. The haunted house may represent your own haunted mind. The child may be a part of yourself, your inner child. I noticed the near drowning, which I often get in my dreams when feeling overwhelmed. Dream 3: attacking your other self is about self attack. In the dream this attack is physical, but I suspect in waking life the self attack may be more emotional. When I am depressed, I often find that I am ruthless with my self criticism, and if you are like that too, this may be about that. Edit: Thought about it some more, and the first dream at not be about guilt, but it is a reliving of one of your worst moment in your life and making it even worse. When depressed we do tend to do that, focus on negative memories and make them even worse, as if the original were not bad enough. Edit 2: The second dream may not be about selfishness actually but about you perceiving yourself as selfish, so self criticism, much like third dream.

[b12]

Hello, anethara. I can help you from a psychological perspective, and have experience with dream interpretation. As RiftMeUp said above, the only true way to successfully interpret a dream is for the dreamer themselves to make the associations. As such, I can only suggest or give you context for you to figure out what issue plagues you. Firstly, you claim you quit smoking. Smoking cessation does cause vivid, intense dreams. Though, secondly, you suggest that some of them recur. This is evidence that your subconscious is struggling with something (a problem, an issue, or even something like PTSD) that you feel needs to be resolved, for whatever reason. Usually, this is accompanied by anxiety, an imminent feeling of something being "off," that is essentially, your subconscious saying, "This needs to be fixed now before (it's too late, the problem can't be fixed, I lose my mind, etc etc)." You're apparently not dead, and hopefully not extremely sick, so overall this sounds like an emotional issue, most likely stress and anxiety (due to various reasons, continued later). As such, you can relax knowing that your "off" feeling is most likely anxiety being caused by your unresolved issue, that you haven't "figured it out" yet. Onto the dreams - The first dream sounds quite normal based on your situation. You're still dealing with the trauma of the death of your acquaintance, your friend's boyfriend. It happened *exactly* like it did at your house. You dream you're in your childhood house. Possibly representing a safe, comfortable shelter, where you have less responsibilities. And yet, when it actually happened, *you* were the one who was suddenly responsible, shattering the illusion. There was no one else but you. Or, since you claim to come from an abusive childhood, it could represent the fearfulness of uncertainty, being in your dream simply because it's an environment where something like that wouldn't be "out of the norm." Again, this is all "stretching it" because it's difficult to interpret for someone else. Regardless, I think it's pretty clear - what did you do to him? You cut him up; you autopsied him. Why do they do autopsies? To find out *why* someone died. Deep down, you're still questioning why it happened. Whether you're responsible. In the "courtroom of your mind," you're trying to find yourself guilty but deep down you know it wasn't your fault - that's why you're apathetic. Yet, still, you have these feelings that maybe you are guilty, or there's something you could have done, that's why you autopsied him, and it's a major theme in your dreams - this feeling of guilt. It's also about *control,* and you were confronted with something way beyond yours or anyone else's control. Even though you tried to seize it, a la CPR. It sounds like you're still grieving, or in the stages, and I think it's pretty normal for you to be feeling this way after that experience. I think, in a sense, the overall theme can loosely be stated as you "losing your innocence." Trying to make sense of things beyond your control, like death. The haunted house could be anything - your childhood home, your college home, you'd know the answer, the point is that it's "not stable," and surrounded in fear (can also allude to your home in the 3rd dream). The child in your second dream could be a representation of some aspect of yourself, or childhood innocence. When you're drowned in the haunted house, being chased by "dead feet," you're feeling overwhelmed emotionally (most likely about the death) and are trying to hold onto your innocence while confronting the death of your friend's boyfriend, something that would really shake some cold hard reality into most people. No matter what happens, the "time loop" repeats and ends with you *not having control* over something. You're feeling guilty for causing your neighbors' death, so you go back and try to change it, only to find something else major pops up where you don't have control. The fire is definitely representative of some kind of anger, or distress. That its your neighbors, burning by fire, is sort of suggestive that your fears have consumed you to the point where you're afraid/feeling guilty that they affect other people. Or, it could suggest that, in relation to having "control" of the "haunted house," you're fighting against accepting responsibility for whatever role you played in what happened with your friends death (and applied to a lesser extent, whatever role you may have played in the end of your relationship). The thing is, dreams like this are kind of like "let's bash all of our fears and insecurities in one giant lump." So it's difficult to pinpoint exactly why you're dreaming about something, unless you really look at the context. Who? What? Why? Where? When? How? Unless you're very self-aware, It's pretty common to have many different overall themes/storylines going on at the same time in one dream. Just consequences of your typical thought patterns swaying while your subconscious is trying to "send you a message" in your dreams. The "bus" is pretty metaphorical. Scary childhood home, fear of losing your teddy bear - another example of the fear of losing your innocence? You get on the right bus, the one that goes to your school, yet you end up at your scary childhood home instead of your "safe" current home... Maybe you're subconsciously afraid that, because of your experience, your "safe" current home will soon be subconsciously equivalent to your "scary childhood home." So in your dream you're searching for a place as comforting as your "safe" home and yet suddenly that home where you're supposed to be has become hostile. This "other you," formed from the consequences of death, is an aspect of you, possibly a "different you" now understanding of the fearfulness/uncertainty/painful reality of death and what you're trying to do by attacking it is hold on to the "safe" you, the one who is wearing pajamas, because really, who wears pajamas when they're scared and not comfortable? Wearing them is a sign that you're probably home, warm, sleepy, in a safe spot. The "old" you, comfortable you, not aware of death first hand. I know that was a lot, but I see many themes in your dreams that I think I've mostly, for the majority, touched upon briefly. Basically, it sounds like stress/trauma and the resulting feelings you're still dealing with. Still, I could be wrong, you would know best as it's you we're talking about, and hopefully I've given you at least a few things to think about.

[RiftMeUp]

Hello, anethara. I can help you from a psychological perspective, and have experience with dream interpretation. As RiftMeUp said above, the only true way to successfully interpret a dream is for the dreamer themselves to make the associations. As such, I can only suggest or give you context for you to figure out what issue plagues you. Firstly, you claim you quit smoking. Smoking cessation does cause vivid, intense dreams. Though, secondly, you suggest that some of them recur. This is evidence that your subconscious is struggling with something (a problem, an issue, or even something like PTSD) that you feel needs to be resolved, for whatever reason. Usually, this is accompanied by anxiety, an imminent feeling of something being "off," that is essentially, your subconscious saying, "This needs to be fixed now before (it's too late, the problem can't be fixed, I lose my mind, etc etc)." You're apparently not dead, and hopefully not extremely sick, so overall this sounds like an emotional issue, most likely stress and anxiety (due to various reasons, continued later). As such, you can relax knowing that your "off" feeling is most likely anxiety being caused by your unresolved issue, that you haven't "figured it out" yet. Onto the dreams - The first dream sounds quite normal based on your situation. You're still dealing with the trauma of the death of your acquaintance, your friend's boyfriend. It happened *exactly* like it did at your house. You dream you're in your childhood house. Possibly representing a safe, comfortable shelter, where you have less responsibilities. And yet, when it actually happened, *you* were the one who was suddenly responsible, shattering the illusion. There was no one else but you. Or, since you claim to come from an abusive childhood, it could represent the fearfulness of uncertainty, being in your dream simply because it's an environment where something like that wouldn't be "out of the norm." Again, this is all "stretching it" because it's difficult to interpret for someone else. Regardless, I think it's pretty clear - what did you do to him? You cut him up; you autopsied him. Why do they do autopsies? To find out *why* someone died. Deep down, you're still questioning why it happened. Whether you're responsible. In the "courtroom of your mind," you're trying to find yourself guilty but deep down you know it wasn't your fault - that's why you're apathetic. Yet, still, you have these feelings that maybe you are guilty, or there's something you could have done, that's why you autopsied him, and it's a major theme in your dreams - this feeling of guilt. It's also about *control,* and you were confronted with something way beyond yours or anyone else's control. Even though you tried to seize it, a la CPR. It sounds like you're still grieving, or in the stages, and I think it's pretty normal for you to be feeling this way after that experience. I think, in a sense, the overall theme can loosely be stated as you "losing your innocence." Trying to make sense of things beyond your control, like death. The haunted house could be anything - your childhood home, your college home, you'd know the answer, the point is that it's "not stable," and surrounded in fear (can also allude to your home in the 3rd dream). The child in your second dream could be a representation of some aspect of yourself, or childhood innocence. When you're drowned in the haunted house, being chased by "dead feet," you're feeling overwhelmed emotionally (most likely about the death) and are trying to hold onto your innocence while confronting the death of your friend's boyfriend, something that would really shake some cold hard reality into most people. No matter what happens, the "time loop" repeats and ends with you *not having control* over something. You're feeling guilty for causing your neighbors' death, so you go back and try to change it, only to find something else major pops up where you don't have control. The fire is definitely representative of some kind of anger, or distress. That its your neighbors, burning by fire, is sort of suggestive that your fears have consumed you to the point where you're afraid/feeling guilty that they affect other people. Or, it could suggest that, in relation to having "control" of the "haunted house," you're fighting against accepting responsibility for whatever role you played in what happened with your friends death (and applied to a lesser extent, whatever role you may have played in the end of your relationship). The thing is, dreams like this are kind of like "let's bash all of our fears and insecurities in one giant lump." So it's difficult to pinpoint exactly why you're dreaming about something, unless you really look at the context. Who? What? Why? Where? When? How? Unless you're very self-aware, It's pretty common to have many different overall themes/storylines going on at the same time in one dream. Just consequences of your typical thought patterns swaying while your subconscious is trying to "send you a message" in your dreams. The "bus" is pretty metaphorical. Scary childhood home, fear of losing your teddy bear - another example of the fear of losing your innocence? You get on the right bus, the one that goes to your school, yet you end up at your scary childhood home instead of your "safe" current home... Maybe you're subconsciously afraid that, because of your experience, your "safe" current home will soon be subconsciously equivalent to your "scary childhood home." So in your dream you're searching for a place as comforting as your "safe" home and yet suddenly that home where you're supposed to be has become hostile. This "other you," formed from the consequences of death, is an aspect of you, possibly a "different you" now understanding of the fearfulness/uncertainty/painful reality of death and what you're trying to do by attacking it is hold on to the "safe" you, the one who is wearing pajamas, because really, who wears pajamas when they're scared and not comfortable? Wearing them is a sign that you're probably home, warm, sleepy, in a safe spot. The "old" you, comfortable you, not aware of death first hand. I know that was a lot, but I see many themes in your dreams that I think I've mostly, for the majority, touched upon briefly. Basically, it sounds like stress/trauma and the resulting feelings you're still dealing with. Still, I could be wrong, you would know best as it's you we're talking about, and hopefully I've given you at least a few things to think about. I'm not to keen on this type of analysis, but that being said, I was really impressed by this one. Well put b12!

[JoannaB]

Unlike RiftMeUp, I am keen on this type of analysis, but I agree b12 gave a superb one.

[RiftMeUp]

Yes, it's a pet peeve of mine While I'm not saying that this type of analysis can't be spot on, it just seems to me that it easily becomes generic and therefore pointless. Playing the devils advocate for a moment here. Imagine this - Dreamer: "I have many dreams about climbing mountains. It's very difficult to come to the top and I usually find myself wounded in one way or another". Analyst: "You probably have great obstetrical to overcome, but are afraid to get hurt in the process." Dreamer: ".. well, I do actually climb mountains for sport and I broke my leg 3 weeks ago in a car accident." Point is, that with as little to go on as one letter, and not 20 hours of therapy sessions, analysis like this becomes conjecture based on general understanding.. a hit or miss kind of thing.

[JoannaB]

I understand what you are saying. And I agree that this type of analysis can be right or it can be wrong. However, unless the dreamer is a gullible person, they are likely to reject an analysis that is not correct. In your mountain climber example, the thing is that if that mountain climber also has great obstacles to overcome, it could be that the dream is both about his actual experience of having an accident and about other obstacles, possibly, though of course not necessarily. If the dreamer in question has no obstacles to overcome, then he can just ignore that kind of analysis, but if he does, a dream can have multiple meanings and also a dream can be used to look at life from different perspectives. I think as long as the dreamer finds an interpretation useful in some way, it's a good one. And it is important though to keep in mind that if the dreamer says that an analysis of the dream does not sound right then it's important to keep in mind that it is their dream and their mind, and thus anyone else's interpretations are just brainstorming ideas from a different perspective but can of course be completely wrong. And yes, knowing more about someone really helps, although I have had some of my dreams interpretted by a stranger who lives on the other side of the globe, and I was struck by how those interpretations were spot on and made sense to me. So that can happen too.

[RiftMeUp]

I suppose the main issue is how the dreamer perceive what is being said. I agree that the ideal would be the person going "I've stated x, y and z, so this is soly what the analyst know about me specificly" (if not expressed in words so at least display that mindset). - Which is very sensible and likely to occure.. but equally possible is the type of dreamer, mentally on edge for any reason, that grasps for straws and unquestingly accepts what's being said. In which case it's pretty bad to not explicitly tell the person very clearly that he/she should accept the limited foundation of personal information, on which the analysis is based.

[JoannaB]

Ah, true. However, anyone grasping at straws and unquestioningly accepting what someone else tells them about themselves, especially a stranger who knows little about them, that person has serious issues. Whenever I try my hand at dream interpretation, I do strive to almost alway state that I could be completely wrong, and to tell the dreamer to discard what I said if it does not sound right. I notice I failed to give my standard disclaimer in my interpretation in this thread but I think I used the word "may" so many times that it should be clear that I was not suggesting that this is necessarily the correct interpretation. Dream interpretation is not a precise science but more of speculation - but that does not mean necessarily that it cannot at times result in useful insights.

[RiftMeUp]

I wasn't really talking about this thread (sorry, if it came of like that), but making more of a general observation having read a lot of analysis on Reddit. - Where a lot of them comes of way to self assured based on barely nothing and practically flinging clichés around. Dreamer: "I dreamt I walked with a cane and the cane broke." Analyst:"You are secretly dreaming of being a man, but fearing potential impotence due to a traumatic childhood relation to a close relative no longer amongst us." - type of thing Yes, I'm putting it one fairly thick to drive my point. But you would be amazed of how much BS it's possible to fork out. Seemingly with a straight face. Which is kind of a shame, since as you say, it is fairly possible to come up with valuable conclusions from interpretations. It has just left me with a pretty jaded view on the topic. Oh, and thanks for the discussion - I greatly appreciate talks like this