My dream please help

[Maderz115]

Recently I have lost a friend of mine, the weekend before his death I was spose to go and see him to drop a belonging of his off. However I didn't have time. Couple days after his death I dreamt of him. Neither of us said anything. He sat next to me and put his arms round me, he then smiled at me and dissappeard. Woke up so upset. I want to think he visited me. I get cold chills all the time like he's with me. Maybe it's me being desperate to say goodbye

[RedNaxela]

Hi Maderz, Please excuse me if I psychoanalyze a bit here. You mentioned that you had planned to see him to drop off something, but did not. That seems unrelated to his passing, so my sense is that you feel some guilt about missing a last opportunity to see him or believing that you let him down so close to his passing. As he was your friend, I think that you should accept that neither was the case. I am sure he valued you and the friendship to the end. It is quite normal to dream of those who have passed, especially when they are close or family. While there is a 'real world' passing that has taken place, our lives and relationships are defined by a quality of experience and meaning that are not flicked off like a switch when a person is no longer with us. We continue to be able to imagine them just as fully as when they were alive. We can imagine their reactions, features, and personalities just as alive as ever. As you are on a lucid dreaming forum, you will find people here whose opinions range quite widely on if a person survives past death or is confined to even their own body while alive. It is cliche to say that others live on inside us, but I think the neuroscience is increasingly supporting an interpretation of this. In the vastness of the subconscious and our billions of neural connections, we are very capable of creating, maintaining, and experiencing personalities that are essentially fully independent. Do not discount the meaning and significance of his being in your dreams, it is no less than a reflection of how meaningful your relationship continues to be. What more it could be, I cannot say. If you are a lucid dreamer, you may want to make saying goodbye a goal, as it sounds like that would be an important cathartic experience.