Hi.

My life is about to change a lot as I'm searching for full-time jobs. This dream, I think, tries to tell me about my life and probably the misconceptions and dangers that lie ahead. I'm not sure I understand it fully, however, but I think it's pretty clear it has a message of some kind.

This is my dream (pasted from my dream journal):

I have to write this down before it leaves my mind. My style of writing is a bit difficult to read, sorry about that.

I dreamt I was at home where my parents live (I don't live there anymore), I was wearing expensive clothes (a silk shirt, I think, don't remember my leggings). The house looked better than it does now; they had a new, black fridge with chrome details, the bathroom had been extended a bit and their bedroom looked a lot larger (although the bathroom is next to the bedroom and really had been extended at the cost of the bedroom - this is something they have thought of doing in real life, by the way). A closet where my father hangs his shirts had been removed, and a little wall was there instead. I commented to my mother that it was a perfect place for a little alcove with a sofa and a table. She agreed, and was excited about what they had done to the house (the bathroom, which to my surprise only was extended by a few centimeters, so I really couldn't figure out how it got that much larger. She showed me where they had extended it by pointing on the floor). The bathroom still had the same floor type, however (it was hip in the 70's, now it just looks weird, a lot of pattern on it).

Let's take a break to explain certain things: The house they live in is a bit strange, since they've changed the furniture gradually, from a 70's home to a darker, 'mahogany, older people baroque-kinda'-style (don't know how to describe it properly, sorry if you didn't get it ). My mother is a teacher, her mother came from a prosperous family while her father didn't. She likes to pretend she's "finer" than she is. My father is a doctor in statistics and has a good salary, but is a lot more balanced and not into the 'what's proper etiquette in this situation'-club of which my mother seem herself as a VIP member (that was a bit crude said, she's a lovely and caring lady but this falseness is somewhat of an issue). So, to sum up, in one end of a room you have a very light wooden bookshelf, in the other end a mahogany table. I'm writing this as to give a perspective.

So, the house looked a lot better, except for the old bookshelf in their living room and some old tapete (which was the same old, and puzzled me). The kitchen was also more cramped.

I was in the kitchen/living room wearing a dressing gown (you know, the ones you wear atop of you pyjamas when not in bed ), still with finer cloth underneath. I had also looked in the closet of my old room and seen many fine shirts hanging there, clean and ironed. I remember thinking I was grateful that I had a lot of clean shirts (in real life I tend to wait some time before cleaning and ending up using all my shirts, because it's a pain ironing them ) and I thought that my mother had done it.

At this point, or maybe a bit before, a friend of mine came on a visit, let's call him Christian (that's his real name too ). Christian, in real life, comes from a prosperous family and lives in a ditto neighbourhood. He doesn't usually dress especially nice, but you notice pretty easily from his behaviour that he's not of the poorest. He's a very nice guy, and we met while in the navy.

Anyways, he's in the house. My mother asks me if I'm ready for tonight. I don't understand what she's talking about, and she gets mad - "don't you remember the dinner at the castle?". I do remember, it just took some time for the information to enter my consciousness. This happens a lot in real life - my girlfriend can ask me something and I have no idea what she's talking about. Sometimes I just pretend I know (or mumble something similar to 'yes&#39 to avoid conflict (she can get pretty upset when I ask her what she's talking about). If people ask me something that is out of context, it takes a little time for my brain to understand this 'change of matter' and adjust accordingly. For example, we're talking about bananas and I'm supposed to go on a job interview later. You ask me "are you looking forward to it?" and I'll reply "looking forward to what?" because I'm thinking in the way of bananas.

Anyway, it takes me a couple of seconds to remember and I try to calm my mother down, as I did remember and was just in another state of mind (girls really do seem to have problems understanding this concept, at least in my experience). A little later Christian leaves, and while following him to the door I take a look in the mirror and realize I have long hair (down to the shoulders) and a different beard (stronger). I look - fuller, kind of, or of more mass - than I do in real life (not fatter).

I'm down in the basement (we have a dining room there). Someone is preparing jelly that look like half rubys, green (half because they're lying down ). I remember studying them and talking to my mother, but not about what. My father then comes. I'm not sure if he's there or if he's just 'appearing'. I remember him being huge. I just talk to his face, don't know about his body. I seem to remember seeing him on a big flat TV as well.

Anyway, he's very upset because I didn't remember the dinner. I try explaining to him the fact that I did remember, it just took some time to understand because of the situation. He won't listen. He walks to the phone (in the basement, now I think he's actually full, normal size) and makes a call. I think he's absent for some time now. My mother tells me (I think it was her, don't remember clearly) that he called the castle and cancelled my food. I talk to my father (again his huge head only) and ask him why. He's very angry, and says I'll have to be there but not eat. He had paid $6000 per person for that dinner, and I had been extremely disrespectful. I get angry, I think it's unfair. I try to look him in the eyes but manage only a few seconds (usually I have no problem looking people in the eyes, I do it all the time when talking (except if they seem to not like it), although I have never tried it with my father (my mother though, but that's a different story)).

One of my parents also mentoined that someone from a company that interviewed me for a job (in real life) would be at the dinner.

From then, not much really. I remember being very, very upset and angry. Later, in another dream stage, I remember talking to Christian about this. I think I was still very angry. Don't remember much more.

EDIT: The shirts in the closet of my room where all variations in colour over the same pattern (mostly stripes, mainly vertical. Very cool shirts, and striking details I don't remember properly.[/b]

My mother has always been the dominating presence in our household. She's very tempered; my father far from it. I've become a mixture of them both (not surprisingly), but I prefer not being tempered. I was, during my teens, but has worked a lot with myself to have a more balanced look on things (actually, the relationship I'm in resembles a lot that of my parents).

Lately, I've been trying to look for a job. It's not difficult - I get called all the time by 'career consultants' wanting me to get interviewed, so I go to interviews about four days a week. The payment seems very good (they're short of IT people) and I only get positive feedback. I do very well on these interviews and have no problems talking, so these past weeks has made me feel more important than earlier.

At the same time, after going to so many interviews and talking I'm a bit anxious. Don't know what for, but I think maybe it has something to do with "floating" too much (not knowing where I should belong, really. There are so many offers out there and I don't know what's best to pick). Also, I've been angry at myself for suddenly feeling so 'cool', and thinking about how much I would get paid and how 'high class' I'd be (thoughts like my mother's, and I really dislike that kind of mindlessness. Sensing it in myself then is not something appreciated).

Also, my mother has never really understood why I spent most of my childhood years programming computers, and she doesn't understand the fact that you can be very good at something without having a degree at the university. Getting her, and other people, to understand that really, I know more than many people with a master's degree, is not easy, and I get tired of people judging others by their papers (there are so many imbeciles that won't change their opinion, even when faced with hard evidence that denies it). I've had topics at the university, but it's really nothing for me. It's nice to have learned some standards, but that's it, mostly. I don't like the system, and many of the students are not very smart (including some of the professors), and get an education more for the money involved than scientific love. I know this may sound a bit arrogant, and it is, but I'm just tired of it all.

Now it got a bit out of hand. My point: in a way I strive to get a high salary just to prove my mother wrong (and father, but not as much - he's just understandably concerned, and understands how I feel).

I think my dream has something to do with careers, prestige and maybe living up to something, but I don't know what. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.