dream about my children.....please help interpret.

[destiny]

Hello, I had a terrible dream this am and actually awoke with tears streaming down my face It was very real, very detailed and in color if that helps anyone. People involved : myself (27), oldest daughter Kairi (3 1/2), youngest daughter Bailey(2), and a few men/onlookers. Lake: aprox the size of long island sound (huge) It began at a lake with a boat ride that i can only describe as partly automated till you got out onto the lake(conveyor system). The boats were small (3-4people) numbered and had different color stripes. I was bringing my children onto this ride, they ran ahead of me about 20ft and i was distracted for a moment by other people getting on their boats. My children boarded the boat before i got there and the boat took off. It went along a track lined with rocks untill it reached the lake.....i ran to catch them and i reached the end of the rocks. I had been yelling to alert people that my kids were on the boat alone and i needed help. as i reached the end of the rocks both children were looking over the edge. the youngest bailey fell into the lake but a floatie tube appeared and she fell directly into it. it was only half inflated and she was struggling i swam along the right side the boat telling Kairi to say in and to sit down and wait for mom i would be back to get her but dont get up or look over. The boat was wood and had a red stripe along the top it was numbered 22. the boat then driffted into open water. i was swiming with my arms outstretched to get bailey and i finally was able to catch up. I grabbed her leg and pulled her towards me at that point she took in a little water. I turned back to find the boat and kairi and they were both gone. I had to decide what to do. swim with a toddler searching for a boat that had dissapeared or get her to the ride area and get another boat and more help. I decided to go to shore and get more help. as i returned i was helped out of the water, i explained to the ride operator (stalky man, white shirt, balding with scruffy beard 40'ish) what had happened and he got on the walkie talkie and put the word out.....took bailey to nurses station and got me back on a boat. I went back out to the lake and looked desperately for her yelling her name, telling her to stay in the boat, begging nearby people to help me. I returned to the ride after about 2hrs of looking to get an update and see if more help can come. but no word on her......the ride operator mentioned it was getting dark soon and air support might be needed. I begged him to have them call in the helicopter i said "shes very clumbsy and too curious for her own good she could have fallen in" He aggreed and called in more help. A man standing in line(30ish, well kept, dark hair medium build with blue eyes) gave me his "club" card on a key ring with several other cards on it (grocery store type). He said to take a boat to stamford (city along the coast) because the current goes that way and the only way into the private water area is with the club card. I returned to the boat once again ( different boats each time, colors, #'s ect) and headed in the direction he told me. I searched and searched crying out to her i recall it getting dark and seeing the helicopter overhead with the spot light on. The saddness i felt durring this whole dream was unbelieveable, gut wrenching heart stopping saddness. I was crying in my dream calling out to her saying baby i love you mommy will find you stay where you are. I searched along the rocks and the shoreline hoping to find her and loosing hope as the night wore on......after hours of looking i returned to the ride area and there were crowds of people watching/helping. as i returned i could see all the sad faces, very vividly, crying, looking at me with such pitty and noone said a word. within 24hrs they found the boat #22.........empty with no signs of my child. I went back every day for weeks......searching for any sign of her, her clothes, hair tie, shoes, anything. spending the whole day from sun up to sun down looking in those waters. so sad, hopeless, fearfull, sickened and in a state of shock. On one return trip to the ride entrance (lined with rock paths) i saw her...........walking along the path back to the line area. I jumped out of the boat and chased after her calling her name. I got to her and she had a sad expression. i turned her around and said "baby its mommy". she smiled a bit and said "mommy there you are" we huged tightly for a while, i asked her what happened. She again looked sad and seemed like she couldnt say or express. suddenly i noticed all the people in line were naked men, pear shaped with a large stomach very detailed, small scar below belly button as if surgery scar. It was as if she was showing me what she could not say.....like it was seared into her memory. she then gave me a kiss as i was kneeling with her. but it wasnt a normal kiss. she gave me a "adult kiss" (no tounge) and kept saying "i love you". I told her that we dont kiss that way and showed her a mommy kiss! she said "no like this mommy" and did it again. I asked her if she had anything else to tell me and she wanted to show me her teeth. She had 2 cavitys on her back molars one on each side. i said thank you and told her she has lots of beautiful teeth. She once again became very sad and pulled away from me. She began to walk back to the boat ride as if to get on a boat as if she was forced to repeat the events of that day over and over. I reached out for her and wept stammering out " i love you baby" over and over. I got into my car and left for home, very upset and i felt as if i were dying inside. as soon as i got home i recieved a phone call from the lead investigator telling me a childs body had been recoverd by dive teams but there was no way to know for sure because there are no dental records or xrays to compare to. I told the investigator about my experience i just had and i said....."she has 2 circular cavitys. in her back molars, she just showed them to me" He said to me in a cracked upset voice "well then its her". I fell to the floor weeping for my child knowing that someone had done something to her and left her to die. I awoke with a wet pillow from the tears that were uncontrollable. my heart was racing and i felt like i was going to throw up at any moment. I cant begin to explain the extent of the emotions i was feeling. it has been bothering me all day and i hope that some interpretation will help me to understand what my brain is trying to tell me!!! Thank you for taking the time to read this post i appreciate any help you may offer..........

[Clytemnestra]

Hello destiny, I will try and help with your dream. I can see it was deeply troubling to you - hopefully I'll be able to ease some of the pain it caused. When dreams are this emotional, it usually shows that there's something important to look at and learn from. It represents a deep fear within you subconscious mind, that your dream was trying to understand. I'm not sure if you believe in past lives or reincarnation, but sometimes I believe these dreams can be rooted in the far past. Boats can tell us about the journey we're taking in our lives. Since you say it was a boat 'ride' this backs up the journey aspect. Boats go across water, signifiying your ability to cope and express your emotions. I feel they also represent the journey of your soul. This dream is typically about how you are emotionally connected to your children. You say the boats were automated before they got onto the lake, this could mean that before you had your children, you never had such strong emotions for another human being. The boats had coloured stripes on them. Colours represent emotions, vibes and energy, which includes people. Stripes are basically straightforwardness and directness and numbers could be important dates, stages of your life, or spiritual significance. Put them together, you have: how you express(stripes) your emotions and how other people are connected(the colours) on the journey of you life (boat) at various stages of growth (the numbers). The numbers and colours are very important - I'm glad you remember them! Your children are at a point where they're learnt to talk basically and walk and they no longer need you to nurse them constantly. Your children going off on their own shows that they're no longer entirely dependant on you and getting distracted could mean that you're thinking about having more dependance yourself - since you'll get a lot more time for yourself as they grow older and go to school. You try to run after them as they board the boat themselves. Rocks can represent something that is stable and 'as solid as a rock'. You say they on are on a track before they reach the lake. This tells me that you've provided your children with a solid foundation to do well in life, and to stay on track. Or perhaps, litterally, you are their 'rock' before they set off on the journey of life. You are understandably worried about letting them go off on their own, and this reflects the fact that in life, we have no control over the paths of our children -they are humans with their own minds. All we can really do is gently guide them, and be there for them when they need us. Calling for help is like looking for external answers on how to deal with the emotional difficulty. Your children looking over the edge shows that they're beginning to become aware of their surroundings. Bailey falling could be that you're worried she may have difficulty growing up emotionally, but she gains support straight away (the rubber dingy) though you're worried it's not enough since it was only half inflated. The fact the boat was wood, suggests that you may be having trouble accepting and letting things go with the glow. The stripe being red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations, and it also tells you to stop and think. Red is an alert colour, it is most attractive to the human eye. It's telling you to look at how you're reacting to situations. 22 is a very spiritual number - for instance, # There are 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet # There are 22 chapters of the Revelation of John Bible # In the Kabbalah, there are 22 paths between the sephiroth It's also a very important number in numerology and pops up in important incidents of spiritual nature. In numerology, we have life path numbers (sometimes called destiny - coincidentially your forum name ) which derives from your birth date. From an numerology website: Twenty-two is a most powerful number, and often seems born ahead of its time. It is a number of courage, force and hard work. Twenty-two is quick witted, far sighted and intuitive, and interested in anything new or revolutionary. Twenty-two is a number of high idealism, wanting the best for the world because it sees the best the world has to offer. It is a sincere and romantic number, and needs a partner it finds stimulating intellectually. This could represent you, or your child in the future. The fact that you took Bailey back to the beach, shows that she's a lot more dependant on you, probably because she's younger. Kairi being lost shows that she's a lot more independant, and perhaps more mature than most at her age. Kairi will take a path that's very different from yours, almost so that she seems lost to you. Searching for her is your reflection of your fears and emotions as you struggle to find a way to understand the 'loss' of dependance as your child grows older. Sometimes when a transition in life happens, we feel as if we lose the person - her growing up is a reflection of this. Other people weren't able to help you find her, so externally - all you'll find is more sadness. The only way to deal with this situation is to look within and find a way to help and not hinder you child so that she doesn't get to a point where you feel you've lost her emotionally. Often when we go to the source or beginning of the problem, we find what we're looking for. That's where you found your daughter again. She was sad, which shows that the transition wasn't easy for her. To see men, represents our male side of our personality, the assertive and action side. They were in a line, which shows order. To see a scar in your dream, symbolizes struggles and/or painful memories and bad feelings which may have never entirely healed and still continue to linger in your mind. It suggests that your past still has some influence or effect on your life. Alternatively, a scar may represent deep-seeded insecurities which may be holding you back from accomplishing your goals. To see a pear shaped man is odd, since men aren't usually that shape - women are. This could be that the logical side of you and orderly side of you needs to be more intuitive and less controlling. This could help with healing any painful memories from the past. Mainly these memories are to do with repressed emotions since you say the men were scarred below the stomach. Your child kissed you in an adult way. This is a simple act of love between you. Your child doesn't see it as wrong, but you try to tell her it is. This again tells me that she growing up, but some part of you doesn't want it. Teeth represent our anxieties, our abilities to 'chew' down our emotions and problems. Since she was showing you her teeth, it shows that she's trying to comminicate something to you - she had bad teeth, yet you said they were beautiful. Maybe this shows that sometimes you brush over a problem when you really need to acknowledge it? She became sad after this, possibly because she was reaching out to you. She had to repeat her journey of emotions maybe because of this. Remember the red stripe - you can always prevent things from happening if you simply recognise them and make the choice to change things before they happen - look for warning signs. Death means change. Your daughter will grow up inevitably. You have to deal with it positively and enjoy the process and help her and your other child along the way. There is nothing to fear. I hope these insights helped you somewhat with this! It was a very detailed account for a very detailed dream. I'd like to know if it was right in some aspects - I may seem as if I've repeated myself many times too, but dreams often repeat symbols that mean the same thing to reinforce themselves. Also, look at what the symbols mean to you - this seems a very personal dream that someone exterior wouldn't be able to fully explain without more background information. Look within and hopefully you'll understand. Take Care!

[destiny]

Clytemnestra, wow you are quite skilled at conveying your interpretation, i am impressed. I do believe in past lives and had studied it im my earlier years. I believe that you are right about a lot of what you are saying and thank you for clairifying the symbolic nature of the color,pattern and number of the boat. Kairi is quite independent and very bold. Bailey is quiet and emotional you were deffinatly correct in that line of thinking. I still find it quite strange that the men were pear shaped and the scar right below the bellybutton still strikes me as odd. any ideas on where i can find more info on that aspect of my dream? In numerology Kairi is a 2 based on birth date and 3 based on name, Bailey is a 5 birthday and 9 by name. Myself i am 3 by birthdate and 6 by name. I believe the number 22 involves me moreso based upon what you stated. Thank you for taking the time to read my very long post and giving me you opinion. Destiny.... btw...its my real name! lol

[Clytemnestra]

Hello Destiny (I love that name by the way !) You believing in past lives could had a whole new level to this dream. I have experienced past life memories in dreams before, and I've noticed that when they have strong emotions attached to them they are usually more likely to be past life related. You could have quite possibly lost a child in another life, and the fear of it happening again has come up again in your subconscious mind, maybe simply to help you heal from it. I thought the pear shaped men were interesting as well. Especially because of men are not usually being that shape, so it's like a merging of masculine and feminine. They were physically female, but mentally male. To see a line of people indicates that you need to be more aware of some situation or relationship. Who has aspects of themself that are both feminine and masculine? Maybe it's trying to tell you to look at your own balance of feminine and masculine energy - everyone has the potential for both. Also, it could be about something past life related - you can be physically female now, but mentally male if you've had many male lifetimes. Try meditating on this aspect of the dream, or sit with at a word processor or a notepad and try and think about what pear shaped men mean to you, how does a line of them change aspects of them? How does the scar below the navel tie in? Since you know about spirituality, I'm sure you know about the chakras (energy centres on the body). There are two below the navel, that could be on the line of the scar. These are the sacral chakra, and the root chakra. This could be representive of blocked energy or over active energy - especially the root chakra whose symbolic colour is red, which was important in your dream. Try taking this test: http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest.php and looking at that website to see what the chakras mean and how they can be unblocked or reduced back to balance. Glad I could help you - don't worry about the size of your post. It was important for you to post everything.