So it goes like this....

The dream started with me walking away from university in a seedy neighborhood at dark, with a female acquaintance who I don’t exactly dislike but defiantly do not respect. I remember telling her I wish to try heroin and her telling me how stupid it was when a chubby guy offers me drugs. I can’t remember if he offered heroin or I asked for heroin but he ended up selling me some and I shot it up. I cannot remember many details but I got his mobile number for return visits and it was approximately $16.00 for the dose.

The next thing I remember was that John Cale had invited me to join a group of young artist, writers and musicians from all walks of life to a “Warhol factory” type environment. After having a discussion about art I cannot remember beyond me being insightful and another individual being scorned by the group, I and some other people were reciting a monologue or play on the radio, I can’t remember any of the details of what I was reading, but I felt that it was unimportant. An attractive prostitute was hired to provide sound effects for the sex scenes. There were four readers reading a page at a time and I was the forth in order. John Cale was getting frustrated by our reading quality, I got bored and I told the prostitute to give me a blowjob while I read under a desk; the others knew and were annoyed by my flippant attitude but the act itself was still out of view.

I then remember talking about a ride; sort of like a carnival type tunnel ride. I think it was in New York, and it killed anyone who entered it in many grizzly ways. I remember fear but a feeling of inevitability of the ride and in a TV like fashion I viewed another going through the ride. He cut of a hunk of his thigh to appease a cannibalistic demon in hope he could get through but fell into a pit and was devoured regardless. The rest of this sequence grew hazy and I remember running across a bridge into safety but I still was afraid.

I vaguely remember a sequence involving heroin and me telling people that I was a junkie with a small sense of pride then telling them to fuck off, although I cannot be sure. It was probably due to them judging my behavior and me thinking that my way was preferable to their delusions in that at least I knew what I was doing. I think they were religious.

I remember talking to John Cale in a Zen garden type room which I was asking why the tree covered hill was cut down. I vaguely remember two of my brothers being present and me being rather inhibited because of their presence. In real life I tend to be somewhat aggressive and blunt with my language in that I swear casually, but I never use profanity except mildly in the presence of family, which I felt in the dream as well. I walk over a snowy hill into a sudden sand dune which some artist, prostitutes and drag queens were skipping scorpions down the hill on coins towards the ocean. I remember seeing many splattered over the hillside and me using some kind of improvised cardboard ride to throw mine down, at the same time I vaguely remember contemplating asking a drag queen for sex and being told it was rude to not reciprocate a blowjob, seeing as I had no intention of servicing them back.

The whole dream was chaotic and hazy but I remember very vividly was that John Cale was involved, the radio play scene, the scorpions down the hill and that heroin was involved. I remember a fear at the ride. The dream was broken up by chaotic and primal scene, although most seemed to be me fleeing and there were a few explicitly sexual feeling’s in the dream, particularly the radio scene again. It was the longest dream I have had and it felt rather nihilistic and empty, but at the same time as something I wanted to experience and a lifestyle I subconsciously (or overtly) may want to live. The thing that struck me was the range of feeling, as often it seems that my dreams tend to only have one real theme; usually either running or depression.





So what does this dream mean and, more importantly what does it say about my state of mind?