My EX

[aamunchkin]

Two nights ago my boyfriend (who I am in love with) and I of 2 1/2 years got in a huge fight where he stormed out and stayed at his moms (everything is fine now). After a long email to him, I finally fell asleep. While sleeping I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend. I had dated my ex for a year about 5 months before me and my current boyfriend got together. I actually have known my ex since I was 5 he was "the love of my life" and best friend(me him an my cousin were like the three musketeers) when I was younger until he broke my heart. And now him and I do not talk or have eye contact even though he is still a large part of my extended family (he lives with my aunt). In my dream, my ex and I were sitting in a room and all I remember in it is a table and the room I think was mostly all white(I think). Him and I had good conversation and were laughing and smiling together just like we used to when we were younger (not when we dated). We then started getting closer to each other, like light flirting; googly eyes, a tickle, or a little nudge, I felt like I had felt as a child with him, just infatuated. Proceeding that flirtatious act, he tried to kiss me, but I forbade him. I left the room and thought to myself that maybe I should kiss him, just to see if there are feelings. After walking back into the room with, I started waking up and never did kiss him. This was a very odd dream for me because I know that I do not have feelings for him, although I do dream about him often. But the other dreams are hardly so friendly; they mostly consist of me hurting him viciously. Can anyone help me figure out why I am having these odd dreams about him? I put some history about us and my current relationship. Please...I can't take this anymore! AGH!

[Burned up]

In dreams we often project onto characters our various feelings. In your dream you felt very happy with "him". Other times you have felt angry. I'm reasonably sure that the dream is more about you than about him. You have the capacity to love and to hate. Likely you would have experienced these feelings in connection with him in your real life at some time, so perhaps his presence is not altogether surprising. You're right, you don't have feelings "for him". But you do have feelings of love which are looking for an object. Some say that our capacity to develop attachments (to other people) is the most important part of being human. Certainly we give up parts of our selves to others for what we might call love, only for them to "break our hearts" when they abandon us. But I guess your question is about why you have so many dreams about him. Difficult to be certain, but here are some ideas. - you have unresolved emotions from time spent with him. In real life you don't think about these (you state you don't have feelings for him) but lurking beneath that ego is an unconscious mind trying to make sense of it all - you have a wish to get back together with him, whether to be passionate or to destroy him (or both)! - You have no other outlet for the feelings which appear in your dreams, hence you keep repeating the same pattern of feeling/thought connection. Just some thoughts. The one which you react most excitedly to or even violently against is most likely to be the closest! (from experience)