First Post

[AMFeis]

Hi, all. This is my first post here, so I'll start with a little background info. I'm an 18 year old male and I've been having memorable dreams for as long as I can remember. Over the past six months or so, I've started maintaining a daily journal and have made note of most of said dreams with as much detail as I could recall; after this one, my most recent, I may or may not post some others. The majority of these dreams have been connected to a love triangle I was involved in over the past three or so years. Here's a very rudimentary outline of how it worked; names have been changed. I had very strong feelings for Danielle, a friend of mine. Danielle did not have these feelings for me. After a while, I eventually bonded with Charlotte, one of Danielle's closest friends, over my then obvious (to everyone except Danielle) feelings, to the point where I considered Charlotte the best friend I ever had. After a few months, Charlotte told me that she had developed feelings for me; I responded with the honest truth, which was that I had too, but not as deeply as I had for Danielle. Here's the simple version, to that point in time: I have feelings for Danielle. I also have feelings for Charlotte, but they aren't as deep and I've come right out and said this. Danielle does not have feelings for me. Charlotte does have feelings for me, stronger than the feelings I have for her. To make an extremely long and complicated story short (I'm here for dream interpretations, not relationship advice), due to a major falling-out, I have neither spoken to or even seen either Charlotte or Danielle in over eight months, though Charlotte has recently attempted contacting me, efforts to which I have not responded...yet. Since I'm unsure what the character-per-post rate is on this board, I'll get to the actual first dream portion in the next post. I apologize for the giant post, but I figure the more info you have to work with, the better. (And trust me, this is but the tip of the tip of the iceberg.)

[AMFeis]

DREAM NUMBER ONE I had this one last night and am recalling it to the best of my memory. It began with Danielle and I sitting on opposite ends of my bed, talking. To be honest, the sole line I remember was Danielle smiling at me and saying (I'm paraphrasing), "You know I'm always going to put up with your ****. I'm always going to come back to you." I know I felt indescribably happy and she certainly appeared happy. It was at this point I happened to look at the window to my left; there was a sort of dark purple glow leaking through. It definitely wasn't pitch-black, but it wasn't far off. My best guess is that it was either late dusk or early dawn. I feel like something must have filled this gap, but the next thing I know, Charlotte was sitting where Danielle had been. She was wearing only a t-shirt; it had some sort of college logo. We made small talk for a little while; I can't remember a single thing said, but it seemed amicable enough. It was at this point that I heard Danielle's voice. I looked around and eventually discovered Danielle's voice was coming from my closet. This didn't seem out of the ordinary to anyone; the three of us, myself and Charlotte on my bed, and Danielle's voice (and, in theory, Danielle herself) in my closet carried on a perfectly normal conversation. Again, I don't remember any excerpts from the conversation. It was simple though, the sort of stuff you'd shoot the breeze about with someone you vaguely remember, but haven't seen in years. At some point, I stood up and turned towards the closet. In the darkness, I could see two fluorescent green lines, one on the wall to the left of the closet and one protruding from a hole on the closet door. Upon closer inspection, they were moving slowly, alive. They were, to the best of my knowledge, slugs. I turned back to the bed. My mother was now sitting in the spot where I had been sitting. At this point, Danielle's voice came from the closet, saying something. This caused my mother to give me a sideways sort of glance that could easily be verbalized as "WTF?" Laughing it off, I asked her, "What was it that kills slugs? Salt?" She said yes; I said I was going to get some. I started to move towards the door, presumably to get salt, but turned back to look at my television, which was, for the first time all-dream, on. It was the local news. There was live coverage from the scene of a car crash on a highway upstate. It was dark and raining. That's the last thing I remember. If the door ever opened, if I ever went for salt, if anyone had anything to say about the news, if Danielle ever came out of the closet (literally), I don't remember it. Like I said in my first post, this is just one of many dreams I've kept track of over the last few months with regards to "Danielle" and "Charlotte." If I get any plausible explanations, I may come back with some others. If you need any more relevant info, just ask. Thanks for any help you may be able to provide.

[stnicka]

dude chicks stick in your mind especially if you have feelings for them, i posted my dream where i felt love in the dream even tho ive never felt love in my life, and now my minds all fucked up becasue i believe this girl may like me same as i like her. and now i cant dream i havent dreamt since that dream, i hate it

[IrisRavenstar]

Hi AMFeis, Well, for starters, if you ever have to kill slugs in the garden, send a little sibling or future child out with a squirt gun or spray bottle filled with a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water. Kids love the slug hunt, and the vinegar dissolves them (the slugs, not the children!) into a puddle of goo, while the water dilutes it enough so's not to harm the plants. Salt, otoh, is bad for the soil, so not the best choice! I suspect in your dream, however, the slugs were phallic and representative of your sexual desires toward these two girls. Their neon green color is not normal, and the green seems to refer maybe to envy. Maybe yours for anyone Danielle is dating, maybe Charlotte's because of your feelings towards Danielle. The two slugs show your divided feelings for these two girls. But of course, you're supposed to only have one girl, and the dream seems to suggest that you really aren't ready to choose the one you know wants you, and let go of the one you'd really prefer. If the situation continues as a threesome, it's kind of like a car wreck waiting to happen, see? It would be best, perhaps, to try dating some other people for awhile, and let this all sort itself out over time. Maybe you'll find the perfect girl for you who'll love you back!

[AMFeis]

Firstly, lady and gentleman, thank you both for your contributions. The phallic view of the slugs is interesting and something I have to admit hadn't occured to me, in spite of how obvious it seems. However, there are a few things to note. The slugs were both close to the closet door, the source of Danielle's voice. One was physically protruding from a hole in the door and one was on the wall to the left of the door. While I never said it in my original post, the closet (and, as a result, both slugs) is across the room from my bed, which was the only place I ever saw Charlotte. If the slugs do, in fact, represent my sexual longing, it should be noted that they were both much closer to Danielle than Charlotte. Additionally, why was I so adamant about killing the slugs? How about this: my eagerness to destroy the slugs represents a desire to eliminate my sexual longing toward Danielle, while her eventual confinement to my closet represents a desire to remove her as a general influence in my life and put Charlotte in Danielle's place (literally, in the case of this dream). It still doesn't explain why neither Charlotte nor I had any problem with the persisting presence of Danielle's voice, but perhaps the distance of her being "in the closet" as opposed to out in the open and in my bed is sufficient separation enough. Just a thought. Of course, countering the point that the possibly phallic slugs were near Danielle is the fact that Charlotte always appeared to me naked below the waist while Danielle, when physically present, was fully clothed. Could it be that Charlotte's partial nudity was more representative of an honesty necessary for our mutual happiness than anything sexual? One final question for this post: why did it begin with Danielle telling me that she would "always come back to" me when, in reality, I never "had" her? I have to believe there's a little more to it than simple wishful thinking. In a few days, I'll post another related dream; I'll keep it all in this thread for the sake of keeping it easy to find. I might launch right into it, so here are some thoughts before I do. Just because I post another dream, feel free to openly speculate on the first one, if you're either new to the thread or a new idea crosses your mind. Additionally, be on the lookout for themes common throughout my dreams, as well as possible connections. Even if the settings are rarely the same, I wouldn't be shocked to find that the general message is. Thanks again for your speculation.

[IrisRavenstar]

You're welcome, AMFeis. I see what you're saying about the location of the slugs, though to my mind, the one outside the closet and to the left sort of reflected your lesser interest in Charlotte than in Danielle. I did see the one in the closet as related to Danielle, especially coming out of a hole in the floor. But I also see your point that maybe it's only the interest in Danielle you wish to get rid of, maybe. Maybe you *want* that to be the case, but it isn't really yet? I'm not convinced, I guess that you really feel Charlotte is right for you, because if she really is, it seems to me that Danielle would cease to be an issue. When she says she will always come back, it's not about DANIELLE... it's about YOU... you will keep bringing her back, and she will fill your mind whenever Charlotte isn't living up to what you want. No, I don't think her being "in the closet" is sufficient to allow for a real and positive relationship with Charlotte... think about how that expression is commonly used, to speak of secrets and things that are hidden. If you were done with your feelings about Danielle, she wouldn't need to be "in the closet!" Yes, Charlotte's partial nudity could refer to her being open with you. But it could also be sexual, especially as she's on the bed. It also could suggest she's very *vulnerable* and her feelings need to be carefully considered here. If you have Danielle hidden in your closet, while Charlotte is being open with you, how do you think that will help you form a good relationship with Charlotte? Danielle shouldn't be in your house at all anymore. Yes, I will watch for your next dream, and I agree, they often repeat the same message in different ways, until the dreamer actually *receives* the message! Or until they change without ever really consciously getting it. All best...

[AMFeis]

DREAM NUMBER TWO Looking straight ahead, the first thing I saw was a sprawling green field. For someone born, raised, and living in New York City, it was the kind of thing I'd only seen in pictures, miles and miles of beautiful green, gently rolling hills. As a matter of fact, it was all green, except for a spotless white gazebo in the middle of it, empty at the time. This meadow ended abruptly at a beach strewn with large, jagged, broken-up pieces of asphalt, as far as the eye could see. Essentially, it looked as though a paved street had been torn up and the remains scattered across a beach, half-buried in the sand. Eventually, this sand and asphalt gave way to water. It was calm, looked very clean, and I couldn't see anything on the other side. I was standing with a group of people, generic dream people created for the sole purpose of being there, no one I recognized from this world. Oblivious to the asphalt, they were doing typical beach activities; some were standing around a barbeque; still others were tossing a Frisbee around. We were all wearing clothes suitable for swimming, though I didn't see anyone in the water. No one from the beach was ever anywhere but on the beach, not in the water and not on the grass. After some time, I noticed two beach chairs a good distance away, separated from everyone else, actually atop a particularly large slab of asphalt. I walked towards them. They were so close they were practically touching. Charlotte, in a bikini, was sitting in the one on the left. I sat in the one on the right. We joked and laughed and smiled for a little while, until I heard music. I looked over at the gazebo, where a small band had assembled and started playing an instrumental version of Bruce Springsteen's "4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)." They were very formally dressed and had a look and vibe I associated with regal plantations of the American South. (In my journal entry, written the day after I had this dream, I actually described them as "Gone With The Wind" extras.) The music had a very muddy and distant quality to it, as though I was hearing it through a closed door. Tearing up, I said to Charlotte three times, "This is my favorite song. I love this song." (Though I do consider Mr. Springsteen my favorite artist and do indeed like the song, I wouldn't consider it my favorite.) After saying it the third time, I put my head on her chest, almost between her breasts, and began to sob uncontrollably, telling her "how sorry I am." She put her hand on my head and began running her fingers through my hair, not saying anything, but sort of delicately shushing me, almost the way a mother would comfort a young child. It was never made clear exactly what I was apologizing for or if she accepted it. The dream abruptly ended at that point. The song choice, for those unfamiliar with it, is interesting in two ways. Firstly, there are many references to a boardwalk (which was not a part of the dream) and the beach. Secondly, the song is commonly interpreted as a conversation between a male narrator and his female friend (who he has deeper feelings for and likely vice versa) in which he recounts his problems with various past relationships, not thinking about how such talk might be emotionally affecting her...but I'll leave that to my next post. As usual, thanks for your input.

[AMFeis]

Well, Dream Number Two, which, chronologically, actually came to me about a month before my first posted dream, seems a good deal more vague. Perhaps you're wondering, "Why a second post after a typically wordy first one?" Well, I think stuff will be easier to find if the dreams are in their own labeled posts and if my other thoughts are separate. So, a few thoughts. I understand and generally agree with your thoughts, IrisRavenstar; trying to repair anything with Charlotte (though she has been the one attempting to get in touch with me after these nine months, not vice versa) should not include Danielle, in or out of the closet. That wouldn't be easy for any of the three of us. The ironic thing to remember from my very first post is that it was my very obvious feelings for her good friend over which Charlotte and I first bonded. (She found Danielle's utter cluelessness in the face of my blatant adoration "cute.") Without my feelings for Danielle, I never would've had anything more than a loose acquaintance with Charlotte. With just a loose acquaintance with Charlotte, we never would've fallen for each other. Had I never fallen for Charlotte (and vice versa), I never would've had any conflict over my feelings for Danielle. Of course, it was my feelings for Danielle that sparked my friendship with Charlotte. It's a neverending circle that goes around and around until I have no real clue how I should feel or even do feel about either of them. In hindsight, I can't imagine how Charlotte felt, listening to me whine night after night about how badly I wanted her close friend, both before and well after Charlotte and I were open about our growing feelings for each other. I was being very open with her, perhaps TOO open. It seems like this should have been such a simple choice: a pretty, intelligent girl who was not only someone I consider the best friend I've ever had, but also willing to endlessly put up with something like that was, for once, pining after me instead of the other way around and I not only had to think it over, I chose against it. But I'm rambling and getting into territory I'd rather not. As I said in an earlier post, I'm here for dream interpretations, not relationship advice. (Other dreams will be up after I've seen some back and forth on this latest one) So, if you'd continue to be so kind...

[IrisRavenstar]

Hi AMFeis, The setting is interesting. You are on the beach, in a place that is "betwixt and between" in some way... the ocean on one side, the dry land on the other. Often dry land is the conscious, and the ocean is the unconscious. Sand is a shifty sort of thing to be on, as the tide could come in, and wash everything away. But here there is a concrete or asphalt pavillion, and that is Charlotte's location, as if she builds her house upon the rock, not the sand, which is a scriptural reference, where the person with faith in God has a solid foundation, and those who do not are at risk as sand is washed away by the ocean, or in a desert blown away by sandstorms in the wind. Charlotte seems to invite you to a place with a firm foundation, even while still being in the sand. On this firm foundation, you are also sitting very close together, suggesting intimacy with each other. She's dressed appropriately for the beach setting, and yet even her attire seems to suggest intimacy. The southerners make me think, if you live in NYC, of the War Between the States, or Civil War, fought in part over the issue of slavery. While the music speaks of Independence Day. I'm not sure what the war is here... between your feelings for the two women? Between north and south... maybe between sex (south) and heart and mind (north). Between wanting to be in a committed relationship and wanting to remain independent? Are you afraid that marriage is a form of slavery? What do you think? Well, because you also seem to be listening to the Independence Day music through a closed door, which seems to suggest you want to close the door on the past. Is that about Danielle, do you think? Is the door really closed? Do you think you're apologizing to Charlotte for hurting her by talking to her so much about Danielle? There are a lot of things to consider here! And the song is certainly interesting in how well it reflects what's going on with you! Another interesting thing is that the band playing the song IS on dry land, as if they know something, are conscious of something, and yet, you have the experience of them sounding like they're behind a closed door. Not only are they on dry land, but they're also sheltered, as gazebos have roofs. The gazebo is white, which goes with the location of consciousness, rather than unconscious, speaks of light. The song does seem to be enlightening from your description. How does the song end? Does it provide any kind of resolution for the characters involved? The sand feels like a joining place too, this narrow strip, as if the dream might also be about your own inner masculine and feminine sides. Look at the narrow strip between your right and left brain spheres. The left brain is masculine, with functions that include reasoning, science, mathematics, language (both written and spoken), right side control. It is the conscious, rational side, and often symbolized by dry land. The right brain is feminine, with skills that include insight, intuition, art, music, left side control. This is the emotional side, and often symbolized by the ocean or other bodies of water. Are you really working out a relationship with Charlotte, or with your own inner feminine? Or is the one reflecting and enhancing the other? Is she no longer just a sex object, as Danielle seems to be, but someone with all the gifts of the right brain at her fingertips? Does she have a heart and mind that draw you, instead of just sexual attraction? Wow... well... I'll let you think on it! All best...

[AMFeis]

Thanks again. OK, firstly, to clear some clutter off of my desk. The War While I'm not personally reading that far into the appearance of the band or the title of the song (the holiday plays a relatively minor role, lyrically), since you asked, I'll take a stab at it. I'd say the "war" is between my respective feelings for Charlotte and Danielle and results from the cycle I defined in an earlier post: without Danielle, I never get to know Charlotte, but without Charlotte I never have indecision with regard to Danielle. For nearly two years, I've been trying to find some way to keep both of them in my life in some respectable capacity, but it's as difficult as it sounds and then some. My 'Closed Door' Metaphor When I said of the song that "I was hearing it through a closed door," I was simply looking for a colorful way of saying that the music was coming to me very thickly and slowly, almost an octave lower than it was meant to be played. As with the appearance of the band, I wouldn't read too far into my 'closed door' description. Though, again, since you asked, I'll answer: there hasn't been a lot of light peaking through either for some time, but I don't think either door is closed, nor do I think I want them to be. My Apology To Charlotte Like I said, I'm not exactly sure what I'm apologizing to Charlotte for. For the sakes of (relative) concision, simplicity, and a degree of privacy, I would be exaggerating if I told you that I've covered even a sliver of the story Charlotte, Danielle, and I share. This said, there are a lot of apologies that need to be shared amongst the three of us. All three of us have done some things we shouldn't be proud of since this whole saga started. My apology very well could've been general, as opposed to specifically related to a given incident. The Song's Ending During the song's bridge, the last portion before a final run through the chorus and ultimate end, the narrator reveals that he has decided to leave the boardwalk of his hometown (or, more accurately, "this boardwalk life"), the setting of all his escapades and the place he was standing with the titular female, watching 4th of July fireworks when the song began. I could go on and on, but I'd be up until dawn if I named every connection this implied, as I'm sure you can see. Charlotte vs. Danielle vs. My Brain I've always considered myself to be very in touch with the right side of my brain, often to a fault, though every standardized test I've ever sat through has indicated an above average left side, however much stock you put in such things; I certainly don't put much in them. As far as Charlotte and Danielle go, I was good friends with each of them before I ever began to feel any other way; I have frequently and accurately referred to Charlotte as "the best friend I ever had." Neither of them were ever solely or even mostly sexual beings to me, at least not more than two attractive females would be to a teenage guy. I never would've had as strong a relationship with either of them as I did had they not been individuals of like mind and spirit; it never would've gotten off the ground had it been mostly physical. Closing Well, I thank you once again, IrisRavenstar, for your input and appreciate. However, to the others out there (last I checked, this thread had been viewed 70 times), I understand my tendency towards wordiness, but some thoughts would be welcome. The more viewpoints and interpretations I hear, the more angles I have to examine. Look for a collection of short dreams in another day or two.

[IrisRavenstar]

Hi AMFeis, As I just said to Jade, there really aren't many here offering interpretations. Liz seems to be away, and she's the only other really regular person I've seen doing it here. The forum as a whole is, after all, more dedicated to lucid dreaming than to interpretation. The song's ending does seem to bespeak a need for independence, doesn't it? Freedom from the situation he was in? That's rather interesting. I think that marriage with a best friend is probably one that has the best chance for survival long term. You'll have things in common, be able to communicate better. Sexual attraction seems to fade for most people, but friendship not so much. I wouldn't, personally, at my age, settle for anything less.

[AMFeis]

DREAM NUMBER THREE I was sitting on the bus I always used to take to high school, where I first met both Danielle and Charlotte. Sitting in my usual seat, I could see that it was early morning (still very dark) and raining heavily. When the bus got to the stop, I stood up for the first time. I was limping. As I was walking from the bus stop to the school, I noticed several people standing around outside, in spite of the rain. Among them was Danielle; she said something to me, but I kept walking. I never looked over my shoulder, but I knew she was following me. Tired and feeling the effects of my limp, I stopped to rest against a wall once I was inside. As I had guessed, she was right behind me. She asked me, "How important is it to stick to one's principles?" (paraphrasing) I don't recall answering at all. From this point forward, I had no problems walking. Someone walked up to her and gave her a handwritten note. It said she needed to go see someone. We walked to the room written on the note. She went in and I waited outside. She wasn't gone more than thirty seconds and I was impossibly antsy. I kept trying to peek through the door and see if she was coming back yet. I never left that door, but I looked in one time to find that the room, which only has the one door, was empty. I ran through the halls looking for her. She was standing, talking with Charlotte. I asked Danielle, "When did you start talking to me again?" She said she didn't know. At this point, I walked away. I don't know where I went, but I have this strong feeling that I was looking for something (literally, not necessarily figuratively). However, it wasn't long before I saw Danielle again. She said to me, "My schedule is terrible, but we need to talk." I clearly didn't need a schedule, launching into it right there. I said her name and was about to continue when she said, "You would do anything for me, I know. I've heard that so many times and I love that side of you and I want to marry that side of you, but..." Her voice trailed off and I took over, promising I would change for her. She smiled at me and we walked down the hallway, hand-in-hand. After a while, we saw Charlotte and a guy she had been seeing walking towards us, also hand-in-hand. Charlotte shot Danielle a glance full of anger, surprise, and confusion, but said only, "I need to talk to you." Danielle said, "Not now," and we walked on, still hand-in-hand. We got to a certain point and stood still. We brought our heads together, so that our foreheads were touching and we were looking in each other's eyes, smiling. I whispered, asking her if those things she said earlier (the italicized portion above) were true. She didn't say anything, but nodded once, a gesture I obviously perceived due to the contact of our heads. We walked on and she started singing; I don't recall the song, but it was something slow, possibly with a country sort of twang. After a while, she said she had to go; it was unspoken, but clear that we'd see each other again. DREAM NUMBER FOUR By the time this one started, I was already in the school. I was dressed in my track gear and about to go out for a warm-up run with a teammate. We decided to take a shortcut through the main office. I opened those doors and saw Danielle talking with someone across the room, between me and the door. I suddenly felt very weak and could only manage to hobble towards that door. Barely able to stand, I essentially hopped on one foot, intentionally passing right between Danielle and whoever she was speaking with. We definitely saw each other, but neither of us made any acknowledgement. Practically crawling, I managed to get through the door and, once I was certain I was out of her sight, I looked down. I only had one foot. There was no blood, no sign of any amputation or stitching, and I felt no pain, just a complete lack of balance. The last thing I remember was standing alone in that foyer, staring at the spot on the floor where my foot should have been.

[IrisRavenstar]

Hi AM, I'd say dream number three is asking you to answer some questions. How important IS it to stick to your principles? And if it's important, what would you really do to change in order to please someone else? Is that even possible? I spent thirty one years in a mostly miserable marriage with a man who wanted me to be someone I'm not, someone more like his mother and his dead sister. I tried! I drove myself into a clinical depression trying. I can't be his mother, who is social butterfly and an extrovert, while I'm a person who loves solitude and quiet pursuits and is mostly an introvert. I can't be his dead sister, who I never even met, as she died a couple of months before I met him. But I reminded him of her in some ways. Which should, in the wisdom of hindsight, have warned me off. That's all I see in these dreams, really, is you need to answer those questions for yourself. Could you spend your life with someone who doesn't love you as you are? Especially if the things she doesn't love would compromise your own principles? Could you live with someone trying to make you into someone else all the time? Something to think about...