I’ve a strange dream, twice in a row now, please interpret

[Mavanna]

I’ve a strange dream, twice in a row now, that I remember with startling clarity, so I was hoping maybe someone could shed some light on it so to speak. First A little background, I am 22, husband deployed, have three kids 3 and under. It is a possibility that both my bestest friend, Erin (21, female) and my best friend Aaron (23, male, gay) will live with me for a short time while my husband is gone. (he approves) My kids were not in this dream I will write the dream in italics and any side notes in regular text. I was in my home with my two best friends Erin and Aaron and I suddenly got sick and feverish. Aaron, who is studying to be a nurse, checked me out and then he picked me up and took me to my bed. I was lying down and heard Erin say that she would get a cold ice pack for me and then it got strange. I felt like I was being buried in my own mind, and both Aaron and Erin were talking using worried tones I couldn't understand their words Then I felt like I was watching a movie, I fell unconscious for a moment and saw everything like I was looking down at myself. My body opened its eyes and in my voice, with a cold, vicious tone introduced her as my other half. Should add that by now I was appalled and scared at how this “other half” made me feel She explained how normally I kept her buried but now she could do what she pleased. She told Aaron he didn't have to believe me, he wasn't important anyways. Erin came in and my body smiled meanly and greeted her. Both my friends exchanged worried looks and decided it would be best to play along and calm her down that way. After a few minutes my "other half" started to say all kinds of hurtful things, and then started to try to fight and hit my friends. Erin knocked me out and I woke up. I would expect nothing less from her. I felt horrible as the last thing in the world I would want to do is hurt my family, and they are the only family I have. The fact that they were hurt in any way disturbs me more than the split personality thing. It concerns me how clear this was, please give me any input. If you have any questions, I will awnser to the best of my ability.

[Burned up]

You mention "split personality" and my guess is that you're thinking along the right lines. "Splitting" is quite normal and we're all "schizoid" to some degree. Theory goes that in the process of developing who we think we are, we repress into our unconscious that which we think we are not. Your dream sounds like a construct of your shadow self (the self which you are not) emerging from your unconscious into awareness in your dream. Of course, you don't like "her". But you can't have "you" without "her", really. Shadow selves come up in dreams a lot but yours does seem to present itself very vividly. Possibly something triggered the dream - something to do with your friends being part of your life and your husband not. I think it's important not to worry about dreams like this. See them as opportunities to face the "dark side" and integrate it so it doesn't become adversarial any more. By denying the shadow, you stay split. Doesn't mean you have to change your behaviour, just acknowledge that you have the potential to do everything the shadow does. In short, you're bringing repressed material to awareness where you can deal with it rather than have it deal with you. A bit like "love your enemy" I suppose. Confusing, yes. Fun, yes.