Strange Dream

[YourSavior]

Just some background before I post the dream... I'm 17, frequently in a state of depression, and have no omnipotence in my dreams. I used to be able to do what is described here as 'lucid dreaming' in middle school but I can no longer. I'm also new lol. I can only recall the end of the dream, but I vaguely remember being in the garden section of Wal*Mart with a friend of mine before this. My mother, 16 year old brother, and I were in a large hotel room that reminded me of an airport terminal. My mom and brother were in one twin-sized bed and I was in the other. There was nothing sexual going on. The beds were fairly close to each other and near the right side of the wall, which had no windows. On the left side of the beds were 15-20 business men sitting in those crappy chairs they have in airport terminals. They were all preoccupied and oblivious to us. I was clad in nothing but my underwear, my mom was in her pajamas, and my brother in his everyday clothes. My hair was extremely short (my hair is actually 3 feet long). I was folding t-shirts in a laundry basket off the side of the bed (of the shirts only two were actually in our household: one being mine and the other my brothers. The other shirts were all related to my brother's) and was complaining about him having more and better shirts than me. When I finished folding them I stood up and walked at front of the bed and started screaming 'LOOK AT ME' while doing this weird pelvic thrusting motion and making gestures towards my genitals (I'm not sure who/what I was doing this towards. I think I was facing the business men or the wall, but not my family). I then sat down on the edge of the bed. Then sirens started going off and the room was flashing red as if it had alarms on the walls. A voice came on over an intercom but I can't recall what it was saying. Then a business woman stood up and walked over to an old-fashioned dial TV and turned it on. The 'camera' panned in on the TV where a reporter was delivering a breaking story about a Polaris missile going off on Ground Zero, New York (post-9/11). There was footage of burning buildings, decimated overpasses, and bodies littering the streets. Then there was footage of fire men in hazard suits attempting to put out some of the fires. One of them tripped over a deformed carcass and fell into a large hole in the street. The 'camera' then panned off the TV back into the room where this disgusting sitcom laugh-track was filling the room as everyone but me was laughing hysterically. I woke up after that. Thank you for your time.

[YourSavior]

After looking up the symbolism of some of the things I think I've come to a conclusion. First, the definitions I found. I'll be segregating them into two sections: one for the settings and actions in the dream and another for those on the television... DREAM Underwear: Problems with expressing private desires/feelings Businessperson: The rational and organized aspect of my being. Screaming: Powerful, repressed emotions Genitals: Issues with commitment and pleasure Bed: Security and shelter Pajamas: A need to relax. Also 'going with the motions' Mother: Shelter, support, and nourishment Brother: Reminder that others in your life share similar feelings Hotel: A loss in personal identity. Also a transition from one state of mind to another, in which one belief must be put down Hair: Having less hair symbolizes a loss in strength Clothes: Represents your public life and how it is perceived by others. Can also show hypocrisy in being someone you're not Pants: Questioning your role in a situation Shirts: Your emotional side Two: A need for diversity and partnership. Also shows double weakness Airport: Symbolizes birth and death (arriving and departing planes) Laughing: Evil laughter represents helplessness Newspapers: Searching for a new light and meaning Intercom: Your unconcious Sirens: Copious amounts of stress Red: Raw energy and rage. Can also mean you need to stop and think about your actions Woman: Femininity; symbolic of love and feelings of good will Disgust: Unacknowledged or denied aspect of yourself TV News: Bad news means that you will be unfortunate Terrorist: Frustrations and violent tendencies Repetition: I need to imbibe whatever is being repeated Nuclear Bombs/Holocaust: Helplessness, hostility, and rage, to the point of being destructive. Something crucial is about to change Television: An objective view of what's going on in my mind. Also, being an extremely archaic model suggests that whatever is being shown needs to change Firefighters: Your higher self; a symbol of heroism City: Sense of community and your social life/interactions Corpse: A part of you that is inexpressive; an aspect of you that has died Hole: A pitfall; 'digging yourself into a hole you can't get out of' So, synthesizing these symbols and their interactions within my dream, I've deduced the following... - Having the number two recurring (two beds, twin-sized beds, two shirts, two people in the other bed) seems to allude to my need for partnership but, again, my public-self is blissfully unaware. - My mother wearing pajamas seems to stress that my self-soothing ways need to be put to rest, and my brother wearing his normal outfit while I am clad in just my underwear says that I am not nearly as composed as my contemporaries and that I really do have no one going through the same tribulations. The fact that both my mother and my brother are in the same bed, a bed that is distanced from me but not out of reach, seems to say that I've isolated myself from the real world and made a bubble for myself to deal with my own problems, but the beds being close says I still have time to rectify the situation. The fact that I don't look at or even address either of them (besides commenting on the clothes) while I scream at my public-self says that I currently have no interest in rectifying it. - The fact that I'm folding clothes goes back my loss of personal identity, like I've packed it up, and the complaints of my brother better clothes is not saying that I'm jealous of my brother, but that everyone seems to have found and composed themselves when I'm still left standing here in my underwear. - The fact that I'm oblivious to being in my underwear means I no longer have problems expressing my inner-desires to others, and that I possibly am abusing this - Screaming 'LOOK AT ME' is, obviously, showing that I have a deep desire to be noticed, but the fact that I'm yelling at the businessmen, in my underwear no less, seems to be saying that I want my public-self to be more consciously aware of my inner-self, but my public-self, reading the paper, is oblivious to the demands and out searching for its own identity. Also, that my inner-self is gesturing towards it's genitals seems to be saying that it wants my public-self to specifically be aware of my committal problems. - I think the fact that this entire scenario is taking place in a hotel room/airport is symbolic of my inner-struggle. I actually feel like I have no personal identity at the moment, and this attempted coup against my public-self would illustrate a transitional period, a rebirth if you will. - The fact that I put on pants but not a shirt after I've confronted my public-self seems to say that I'm questioning the relationship I was trying to get it to notice because I don't think I'm in-touch enough with my emotions to be in a relationship. Sitting back down onto the bed symbolizes my unrest with these types of thoughts and receding back into sanctuary, as not to think about them - The sirens and red after receding show that I NEED to think about them, that they're what is causing my current problems, but my inner-self is too fatigued to do so. Being unable to distinguish what the intercom was saying says that I am ignoring my unconscious and its warnings against my actions. The fact that my public-self gets up to turn on the TV rather than my inner-self says that the message is getting through, but I may be unwilling to see it. The businessperson getting up being a woman says that my femininity is trying to show me what is happening on the television... - New York represents my social habits and, more importantly, my current relationship. The terrorists represent my frustration, not with my relationship, but with myself and what I'm doing to the relationship. My unconscious is trying to tell me that if I continue acting in the same vein I'm going to eviscerate my relationship, leaving nothing but a hollow shell of what I currently have. I'm being irresponsible and toying with emotions, and the Polaris missiles embody both the fear I feel for this relationship failing and a foreshadowing of what's to come if I continue 'going through the motions' as I am now. - The firefighters represent my good intentions, my love, but it can't salvage the shit-hole New York had become. The corpse he trips over is my inability to properly express my feelings for her, how I swing like a pendulum to the poles of over-bearing and stoic, and that this tendency will be the end of my relationship if I don't fix it. The hole he falls into seconds that... - The fact that everyone but my inner-self laughs hysterically at this shows that I still possess the will to fix this, regardless of what my public-self, contemporaries, and others may lead me to believe. tl;dr: I need to get better in touch with my emotions and steer my relationship on the right track before it gets out of hand. Any feed-back on this conclusion would be greatly appreciated.