Underlying Sleep....my dream journal

[Sweet Solitude]

(taken from my online diary) Ha for some sad reason I have Britney Spears singing "Born to Make You Happy" in my head and again revisitng old wounds while adding music to the online mp3 player hadn't heard "Everytime" in a long while I dreamt of him last night it's been months since i've seen him in my dreams what sparked him to pay me a visit, I don't know there was nothing out of the ordinary about it We worked in the same area, he worked at the local pizza delivery shop I worked 2 stores down in the chinese resturant I met him after work and we were just driving around the pocono's and ended up at my house though my house was a combo of the one I live in now and his grandparents we were upstairs in the attic, he was going through boxes up there looking for something I have no idea what He walks downstairs and I told him to get back and hide because my family was home I walk downstairs to find him sitting at the kitchen counter eating with my family, it was weird, my mother offered me something to eat. I kept searching her face to see disapproval or if she was going to have his head I had called off of work once that week and 2 days later I really didn't feel like going to work But my excuse was that I had taken a day off already this week and couldn't afford to take off more So I went to work anyways I got a call from and insurance company, it seems Michael got into a car accident I noticed I had his shift ended around 4:30 so I called my mother and lied saying they wanted me to work extra hours I went looking for him at his job so I could give him the phone, so he could straighten things out. Why he had given the insurance company my number and had me down as the co-partner of the car (which in life I think he did add me as co-driver to the intrepid) I couldn't find him Next thing I know i'm at Steve's house, crying because he was dead I kept asking why do some many things I love get taken from me? I kept listing all the people that had died then Desi was at the house, she had brought steak form the movie theaters for $14, it was huge! Steve and I sat on the couch why Max was trying to explain to me there was a ghost in the house that came out around this time Next thing I know Zoe (steve's mom) flips out at Max about leaving a certain door open, he tries to close it but the presence on the other side broke force and entered the room. You couldn't see it, it started messing witht eh electrical wiring and found it's way into the tv Steve and I were going through books after books, to look for a banishing spell or charm to get the evil present out the ghost for some reason had the voice of Arnold Swartzenager, which that alone was funny as hell once the ghost left I realized Steve was gone, I looked on the floor at the cards I had laid out with peoples names on it, his appeared right underneath Michael's then I woke up ----- Normally when he appears in my dreams I try to interact with him, talk and just go over things. But for some reason since he wasn't around fully I couldn't talk to him, let alone I wasn't aware for once that I was dreaming. When it comes to him, I know i'm dreaming, the dead can't visit you in life...but had disappeared for quite sometime and now it seems like he's slowly easing back in, I want to talk to him, but i'm afraid everytime I get the chance i'll have a pause and when I realize it i'll wake up. Though when I looked back on this dream, I realized some of the events that were in it seemed like things that happened before and around when he died...I don't really know what to make of it. I tend to think that certain dreams are than just that, some have proven me right at times.

[Sweet Solitude]

This is beyond the oddest of dreams I've ever had. It was like a series, because when I would wake up for a few minutes then go back to sleep, the dream would pick up from where it ended. First part: I was in a department store, that for some reason an area of it was turned into a bedroom. I was dating Pauly Shore (the guy from BioDome). I'm sitting in the bedroom while he's walking around going on about something, i'm feeling very uncomfortable being there. Out of nowhere he asks me to marry him. I didn't answer, I kept thinking of Michael and how I didn't want to get married to someone else after him. So Pauly's bothering me, "Why not? Come on give me an answer" I told him I had to go to work. Then I woke up Part 2: My job was that I was a cartoonist and I was creating an animated movie for X-Men. Instead of it being an X-Men 4 it was to an animated movie. I met Wolverine, Jean Grey, Julibee,. I called my mother to tell her about my experience and to tell her who I had met and who I didn't. I end up going home (the department store) and Pauly was there. He was like "Are you going to give me an answer", for some reason he had branded a heart on both sides of his calves. After thinking about it, I wanted to tell him no because I refused to marry someone else, but I ended up giving in so he'd stop asking. So then Pauly starts going around the store telling every customer I said yes to him, while redesigning everything in the store, pointing out all the things he fixed. Then I woke up Part 3: I roll over in bed to see Pauly standing there shirtless, with white shorts on, barefoot with the hearts still branded in his legs. He has to rings in his hand that are white in the shape of a heart. He asked if I was ready, I said sure. Next thing I know we're outside standing on a beach and it goes to "You may kiss the bride". We end up going back to the store and I end up on the bed. I guess it's suppose to be our honeymoon and he's trying to climb ontop of me. I'm smiling, but at the sametime I was so uncomfortable. Something interupts him and he stops from trying to have sex with me. I get dressed and start wandering around the store, looking at some of the merchandise. Everything in the store had a valentines day tropical theme. Out of nowhere Pauly comes up behind me and goes "Wrap this, is a gift for me" i'm thinking, "What a concided asshole". The entire time he was into himself and what his needs where, thus made me very uneasy to be around him. So I wrap his stupid gift in blue tissue paper and hand it to him, he goes, "Thank you, here's yours". Then he decides to make a whole big thing out of giving me the gift and all eyes, camera in the store and tv sets where focused on me. I open it to reveal boxes of expensive make up. I was so shocked that he had brought this me. I smiled and said thank you, then I woke up. ----- My question is, why the hell was I dreaming about Pauly Shore? I hadn't watched any of his movies in years, let alone he is the furtherist thing from my mind. What the hell could this mean? And I don't understand why I was so hesitant, well it was Pauly Shore, but still to use Michael as an excuse to refuse to marry him?