Color code: waking consciousness — non-lucid dream — lucid dream

I tend to write a lot, because I don't want to forget…
Comments are welcome, especially the helpful or informative kinds.

Two half bodies don't make one

It's been 3 days now that I go to bed between 22h and 23h, and wake up at 8h. I used to go to bed between midnight and 1h, and wake up after 10h, often at noon, so it is a big change in my schedule.
My two previous attempts at waking up after 6 hours of sleep with the help of an alarm have been disastrous for dream recall, and consequently for trying MILD. So before going to bed, I just suggested myself to wake up after each dream. I woke up first at 1h with only scarce memories of what seemed to be a superficial dream, and at 4h, anxious, again with few memories. Since I had no suitable dream material for a MILD, I had the crazy idea to give a try to the WILD technique. I knew very well that it is way beyond my current skill, but why not having a look, see how far I could go? It sounded funnier that just crashing back into a nonlucid dream.
Using the 61-point technique, I relaxed, I can't say very deeply, but well, in the end I could feel my body blur, lift and throb, which was nice. I began counting, “1, I'm dreaming…,” imagining myself going downstairs, one step at a time. Soon hypnagogic scenery began to form, and I understood why everybody says the technique is difficult: it's like walking on an slippery edge, focusing on the hypnagogic contents without either being sucked into them and falling asleep, or dismissing them in order to stay awake. That's when my neighbor decided to get up and take a shower. Increasingly upset at the noise, I struggled for about 120 counts (that's not that long…), gave up, rolled on my right side to reset my proprioceptive body image, and fell asleep.

I awoke as a child, in a bed under a large rectangular window, which strangely didn't seem to have a windowpane—as we were in Winter, I wondered how immaculate could glass be, or if my blankets were just very good at keeping me warm. I crawled out of bed, and looked at the plain backyard, a sad sky still pouring snow too wet to stand a chance to cover the remaining patches of frozen grass.
I don't know how, but I found myself standing at the border between the backyard and a road, looking back at the house I just left behind, wondering why I didn't feel cold walking barefoot in a nightgown. My mother dashed towards me, urging me to come back inside, because my grandparents had arrived.
I realized that we were about to celebrate the New Year's Eve, and at once found myself at once in the living room, decorated with white and silvery ornaments. I greeted my grandparents, and thought that I should ask them how they were feeling about the impending war, they who'd survived the WWII, but I saw that it was an rude question and did not proceed. One of my uncles was here too, with his infant son, whose birth I hadn't even been filled in.
The atmosphere was chilly and gloomy, but not a nightmarish as usual. Everything had an strange and mysterious quality, as seen from the eyes of a little girl who couldn't quite understand the grownups' world. Later, I was sent back to my bed under the rectangular window…

I woke up in my “real” bed, still on my right side, in front of the wall. Something wasn't right: I couldn't open my left eye, I couldn't feel the left side of my body, in fact, everything on the left side of my world was dark and absent, somehow negated… It wasn't right at all! I remembered to do a reality check (as every time I wake up, to avoid false awakenings), pinched my nose with my right hand. I first thought that I hadn't pinched it tight enough but, “wait, no, I can breathe, I am dreaming! Holy shit…” That said, my condition didn't improve, and for my first time lucidity didn't came with a feeling of joy but of annoyance. What could I do now? Spinning? Flying? Very funny! People who write LD tutorials clearly didn't think about the one who awakes hemiplegic!
I looked with my right eye at the Lain poster above for some inspiration, and tried to tear it away from the wall by strength of will alone, in vain. Recalling my botched WILD attempt, I remarked not without irony that I didn't have much willpower this morning. I pressed the wall with my right hand, and was amazed to find that it had the texture of soft waferlike paper, thus fuelling my lucid state.
Then I forced myself to move again, only to discover that I had not one, but two bodies, a half-paralyzed “physical” body and a blind and ineffective “mental” body, entangled with each other. The “physical” body hardly responded to my commands, but the “mental” body could do my bidding if I remembered to use its own sensory-motor loop and not to mix it with the physical body's, which was pretty tricky, since my mind wanted to combine the two bodies in some kind of incoherent stereo representation. Of course, the more their respective positions diverged, the worse it felt.
A swarm of black flying insects entered my one-eyed field of vision, and I thought “What's that now? I really don't need that! I'm not in the mood, go away!”, visualized my anger turning into fire and torching them. They disappeared.
I wondered why it had to be that way, if it had something to do with the condition of my whole real body asleep in that remote, real bed. Was I still asleep on my right side? If I sit my dream mental body on the edge of the bed, will my dream physical body finally follow? What about my real body? Would it follow? (I became quite confused at that point, three bodies and two worlds for one mind that's a bit too much I guess…) So, I sat my mental body that way, feeling the cold wooden edge of the bed under its/my knees, but the physical body didn't follow.
I felt upset and hopeless and tired. So I told myself, trying to connect to the real body, “okay, I'm tired of this, I want to wake up,” and woke up, laid on my right side.

Now my LDs are more nightmarish than my NLDs! Talk about twisted!
How do you interpret that one? Proprioceptive mishap inspired by a failed WILD? Asking too many questions about the relationship of LDs and OBEs? (But I haven't had an OBE for 13 years&#33 Some laterality-related physiological process that influenced my dream? A psychological issue with my body? Other ideas?

On the bright side, it is by far the longest LD I've had since I joined this forum and started my dream journal. The four others subjectively lasted for less than 30s, that one at least 5 min, maybe 10 min. I guess it has to do with the sad facts that paralysis does not encourage impulsive behavior and that annoyance is less intense and disruptive an emotion than bliss.

Late note: My nonlucid dream contradicts a previous claim that I'm always homeless in my dreams. Apparently not always.