This one was weird...
It started out normal enough, I was walking to the store because we were out of space in our house (I was going to buy some more...), and Halfway there I encountered a Homeless guy. I started talking to him and he was telling me about his time in the war and how the government was doing all kinds of testing on him. He said he was part of an Elite Group of Internet Surfers who's job was to Patrol the Internet and spam people's MailBox's. Well as you can imagine, that would be a fun job, and I asked him how I could get in on it, and he said it would take rigerous training, but it might be possible.
He accompanied me to the store where I bought him a sandwhich and we were talking about this program some more, and at some point in the conversation, a Tornado started forming in the Center of town. He said this was my final test, to do the impossible and destroy a tornado.
I was headed towards, determined as ever to destroy this monstorous beast, and along the way, I seen something on the ground with the letters "TD" on it (Tornado Destroyer?) and picked it up. I didn't know at the time, but this item would soon save my life.
So proceeding on my way to the battle of my life, I start to see it. An enormous F5 Twister was wrecking havoc on the town. I walk up to it thinking that this can't be possible, and start getting scared. But knowing that if I didn't do this, I would never be part of that Elite Group, I continued on my way towards it.
I was about 100 yards away from it when I seen it, the tornados weak spot. About 100ft wide, and 200ft tall. I somehow had to reach it and strike it there.
Running full force towards it, I can feel the wind pushing against me, but I continue forward until I can't move anymore.Now, merely feet away, I Scream at it to disappear. Well that doesn't work and it just tosses me away a couple hundred feet.
Laying there accepting my defeat, that thing with the "TD" on it begins to pulsate, and I pull it out, quickly learning that if I thrust this into that weak spot, the tornado would dissappate. So I gather up the last of my strength and run full force once more. Merely feet away again, I thrust the TD into it. IT WORKED! The Tornado was gone, and the town was spared.
I headed back to the store with the homeless guy bragging of my victory, but he doesn't seem impressed, even though I did the impossible. He thanked me for the sandwhich and walked away.
I wasn't about to have that happen, after all that work. So I ran up to him with a bat ( don't know where I got it) and swung at him.Turns out he was a cyborg of the future and then began to show his true nature. He told me I could still live if I left now and spoke to no one about this. I thought about it for a few, and then said ok. He turned his head again, and me with my quick thinking opened a portal to the future.
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Around this time, im starting to suspect something is up and this might not be real, but its not quite registering with me yet.
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Once in the future, I start looking for a weapon to destroy this monstrasity. I head to the local weapons shop and pick out a nice looking Partical Accelarator Beam, but realize I don't have any money (at least money of the future). Pissed off, I storm out, and decide to rob them. I run screaming crazy like, and scare the guy. I grab the weapon and quickly leave.
Halfway back to my portal, I encounter some robo-gaurds, who tell me to surrender. I decide to try my new weapon out. Instant results, my favorite kind. The gaurds were vaporized.
I reached the portal just in time as it closed after I jumped through. I start searching for the Cyborg guy, and, with a little help from the locals, I found him. Before he sees me, I point the gun at him and fire. And with some Matrix-Style performance, he dodges the beam and destroys it with his mind powers. Realizing im screwed, I try to run, but my feet won't move. He walks up to me and asks why im so hell-bent on destroying him. I told him it was because he wouldn't tell me how to become an Elite Spammer...
He reveals that that isn't his true purpose... but rather that he is a protector of earth, protecting us from the demons of the underworld. After all this crazy stuff I'd seen, I was inclined to believe him. I started asking him why I was never informed, when a Giant Worm flew up from underground, and tried digesting me. The Crazy Robot Guy saved me and destroyed the worm.
After the worm was destroyed, I asked him the question. He said its because I wasn't important enough. So I asked him why if I wasn't important enough to know that, why he charged me with the task of destroying the worse twister the place has ever seen. He said that even if I had failed, the twister would of disappeared because it was mearly an Illusion, and he just wanted me out of his way for a while.
What an asshole I thought, un-known to me that he could read my mind as well. I try my hardest to block out his thoughts, but my efforts were futile. I told him to quit doing that, but he refused to. He was diving deep into my mind, and my brain felt as if it was on fire. I couldn't stand it anymore and jumped in front of a car, trying to end this madness.
The car hit me, and I died, but that fucking robot rewound time and saved me from the car. I asked him why he was doing this, and he said he was "learning our ways". He didn't seem to understand that his way of learning was driving me insane. We sat down and talked about "our ways" and he promised to leave if I promised to buy him another sandwhich. I agree'd to, and he ate it.
An hour later he left. I was heading back home to tell my mom all about my crazy day, when I came across another homeless guy asking me to buy him a sandwhich...
At this point I woke up...
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