A mercy killing?

[SweetDreamer85]

for some reason or another, ever since i have been diagnosed with bi-polar i have had some problems remembering my dreams. i'll fall asleep and know that i am dreaming...can wake up and recall the dream but there's always huge pieces missing to where it just makes up a series of signs or symbols. I think it just might be stress, i'm not sure but have had some problems with lucid dreams as well. Hope it doesn't last anyways, i had this dream the other night about standing over myself as a kid and was dressed in a pink dress with my hair up in pigtails. She was crying about something and i can recall feeling very stressed (alot of pressure in the chest) and i told her softly, "close your eyes and count to 10 then all the pain will go away..." She does as she was told and hesitantly i point a loaded gun to her temple. She's up to 8 now and thats when i pulled the trigger. i remember telling myself over and over again. "i've just saved myself from alot of pain..." as i look down at her blank stare. Now i'm not a violent person and usually dont have dreams like this which is why this one has me scratching my head. I can think of a few interpretations this dream can mean.

[Someone111]

Hmm, perhaps a past experience as a child that your mind keeps going back to subconsciously in your dreams and its something you want to forget and therefore try to get rid of it?

[SweetDreamer85]

thats what im thinking it is. lol i tried to explain to my fiance but he just said i'm nuts lol