Pawstalker's

[pawstalker]

This is my DreamJournal. I dont make notes during the night. Its all next day recall. I started to intend to remember more on monday 19.<see joindate> Helpful comments are welcome. Anything between (brackets) is nondream-info. -> means next scene. After an empty line a new dream starts. tuesday 20-3 snowboarding on metal boards. no snow. just asphalt and rocks. there are a lot of people from the year above me from school. some talking. i lose sight of them and end up arriving first on the other side of the mountain. the others arrive too. lots of talking again. wednesday 21-3. After intending to dream about driving a car before sleeping. i&#39;m driving a car. a boy from my childhood is sitting next to me. (he was the scapegoat being bullied for years. and kept trying to hang out with me and the people who bullied him. he was not my friend. but i didnt bully him.) driving the car on the highway.-> i remember drinking beers. we switched seats. he is driving. im next to him. he takes a turn. doesnt make it . he goes too wide. and trashes the crash barrier. im upset for my car and the fact there is a police check just behind us and they saw this happening. -> we are on a parking area left of the road. there is a touringbus from the police. we wait. they come and ask us our driving license and stuff. the guy who was driving only has fake photocopied papers. i look around on the backseat. we have to wait undefined time. i sit in the door opening of the bus. but am not supposed to sit there. so i try to sit in the door opening of my own car. but that isnt really the same. friday 23-3. I woke up remembering a lot of dreams. I tried to get them not too messed up ,but i think this is about the right order. walking with people to videostore in a little town. jpg (guy from my childhood, same age as my older brother) sees my older brother coming out the videostore, jpg talks about porn-videos -> we go in. a chinese men with a weird mustache is behind the counter,we know him. we look around. -> we are there again. the chinese says we have to behave, we look around to find a video and split up. jpg finds one about a perverted chinese swinging weights with his penis (probally the same chinese as the guy behind the counter) ,but i saw it already. third person didn&#39;t. we find some more videos -> i find a piano. i start to change the sound of it with these weird turning devices; big wheels with sort of pages. in the end i get a low sound. play some tune. (cant play piano in RL) -> i see a flyer for the movie with the chinese. a friend of mine did the music for it. the nail of my thumb is growing another nail underneath it, i get the advice to put it in the sea water.-> boy in tweed is walking in the sea. there is a girl floating around. and some weird red necklaces that move like animals/jellyfish . -> ... dont recall more. i have to go to the trainstation. its on a hill. black and white film style. thinking 40&#39;s. we have to walk through the sand . i stumble upon a treetrunk. 1m20 long, 40 cm diameter. some roots attached. loose the stuff in my pockets. but pick them up from under the trunk. keep walking around the station/hill -> side entrance. have to climb the stairs. -> style turns gothic as architecture. and nazi-like guards. maybe even trees in there but all black and white. more black and grey really. reach top level. chinese guy is there doing his perverted thing. his room looks like he is the king on the throne. with a little stage. late for class. not alone. have to go up stairs.looks like security stairs outside the building. school is really light. a lot of light coming in from outside.even in the corridors. -> i sit in the classroom and the teacher<in RL she teached me digital media> asks me what i think was the best part of her classes. and i say the rules she explained at the beginning. we talk some more. -> after class i follow some people, friends of my little brother, to a bar in a basement. no windows. kinda empty place. more space than tables. we wait for something to arrive/someone to leave. then move to a empty table. -> talking , some people approach the table. beer. birthday party from girl. two girls in a her little room and me. soft couch -> her piece of pie, so small. was burned to ashes. we try another one to lit the 3 candles on. -> there is a map in the room, i try to find moldavia (firstperson-view doesn&#39;t end ,but bird-view starts) ,but there are so many little states i can&#39;t find it. see some really little countries with just a little city and suburbs and thats it.-> turkey is the big country that connects to this amount of little states, turkey&#39;s border is a wall from sea to sea, blocking all refugees. the land on which this wall is turns into a bridge -> i see marching soldiers on the edges. so the refugees don&#39;t clutter up there. in the middle is the road for moving. i look over the edge and see multitudes of these bridges. back to sleep: desk of teacher; i crawl around the desk of my teacher, who appears to be dead or disappeared. i find weird bottles, a photo camera, 3 rolls of film, two used one fresh. i find that out by pulling out the film a little and recognizing the shape of the film. put them back in. make a photo of nothing.->desk turns into a car and i find myself on the backseat. entered from the left side of the car. my dad is driving, racing the car in my childhood neighbourhood, dangerous driving and i tell me dad so. he doesn&#39;t listen as usually. firetruck is in the way. he swirls around. takes a corner too wide. i keep telling him to slow down and drive normally ->no more car or dad, now i&#39;m walking with people. there seems to be a party and we are all going. -> we arrive. i sit in a armchair next to the dj. party is called &#39;freak in the corner&#39; or something similar. i bleed and need bandage, for some wounds on my hands,on the side of them. the wounds are bigger on my right hand. there is a girl who organised the party. we talk. i explain her that its perfectly ok for me to be there, since the party is a freak in the corner party. and after showing my wounds on my hands and explaining i have a lot of little cuts on my hands often , she agrees its ok for me to stay. monsters knocking on door. there are monsters knocking on the door. i&#39;m in a hallway in an apartment. lot of wood. hallway continues to the left. frontdoor is on the left too. to the right are two roomdoors. there is a wooden staircase going down in the middle of the room. my father is acting somewhat normal. the door opens. the monsters, big fuzzy animals with a huge eye in their head, enter one by one.

[pawstalker]

just some keywords saturday; huge hardware store. walking around.. camping. burned cd. daytime. big building plaza. inside a famous person at a bar.asking if i can smoke here. talking. paper ashtray collection in a storage. stagelike lamps on the ceiling. girl rape girl. sunday; some basement/shelter. wood logs.does the small bit fit. spirits . waterflood. strange building. big whole with cells around. no ceiling. mental hospital.. -> weird game with my best friend. cave like structure. two huge yellow buckets, trapped in a cave by a plastic bubbled spiderweb, burning whole to escape wit the little boy. there is a gameshow-host monday; damn i was sure i remembered.. ah here it is. something with a horse and a castle with monks? water. riding a bike through a city that looked like amsterdam. i entered a shop on a round corner. all kind of conversations.

[pawstalker]

wednesday 28. it started snowing. i was outside on a field just next to one big building. some trees in the distance. joined in the snowballfight. then saw a man struggling with something, i went over to see what he was doing. he had some tied ropes that he tried to pull and organize. i suggested to help him and he appreciated it. the ropes where attached to a big b-shaped balloon. and pulling we got it up and floated towards the water. there he told me about his ship. i had to swim towards it and when i would be halfway there i had to return.. there was a huge 6 meter high brown octopus coming out of the lake. it was his friend. and the octopus would try to stop me from reaching the man's vessel. -> i was swimming in the water. and encountered some polystyrene shark, harmless? and blueish. and after that the ship which was also very flat and polystyrene and somewhat orange coloured. something with tiny swords that had great value. there were three colours. blue, red and dunno. they were 4-7 centimeters. there was a lot of changing them around. as in some game. after a while i even changed colour completely. all this happened at a gate that was blocked. -> there was a huge packed bus driving through. didn't really fit altogether. (Was a nice dream-night. i enjoyed it. i wish i could remember better.. )

[pawstalker]

tuesday 3-4 there is water. bout a meter deep. a lot of jellyfish and snakes in there. i wade through. -> running outside. its a newyear's eve kind of night. my younger brother is there. i have to get somewhere. vague... cute girls. vague... the next morning. her mother is at home. we have to hide. i don't. i walk in on her mother, who is still drunk from last night. i wear a blanket around me. vague.. her mother is trying to set up and run a kitchen/bakery. in a caravan? wednesday 4-4 in a rectangle room. lots of people. a table covered with a huge pile of books. its a presentation of the book. it has a soft pink colour. there is a lot of stuff written in it. it turns out m wrote it using our, my friends and me, drawings and stuff. there are friends of m who are interesting. -> some party in a L-shaped room. there is a huge bowl with some remaining food crumbs in it, i swirl the bowl around and around to get the crumbs together and loose and let them glide in my mouth. there is again a pile of books with softpink covers on a table. i read a little. lots of drawings pasted in with remarks writting next to it. a girl watches over my shoulder and thinks its funny i drew that on some streetcorner. the book consists of 6 or some parts. they seem different size and paper. there are a lot of drawings, made by different, people of the sea with two persons running on top of it. -> we are in a ship or a wooden basement. there are cows walking around to get some beer. the come through the door. next to the door is a closed wooden panel. things happen.. (somewhat vague recall on this part)-> a huge swimming pool area. we are in the water. two girls get seperated in some corner with plants. one takes her top off. she is kinda embarrassed to show her chest to the guy. some swimming around. i am the guy now. i feel like lsd. or i think that. i hear a really high-toned whistle. we flee. out the water. into another pool. i use this weird swimming tech. out the water. running. some people walk our way. its a janitor/warden with a tiny whistle with a key attached around his neck. i tell him to give it back to us and pull the key. wont budge. a fight starts. i grap the other guy who is a midget with black hair, little gray showing. and tell him: 'lets fight for 15 minutes, its not like you got any interest in a real fight.' he agrees. we wrestle a little for show. a classroom turned into a library. there is a showcase for golden rings and so. i glance at it. the light is turned of. im not supposed to be there anymore. some people enter. a teacher approaches me , we talk about the books. ( this is progress , i remember what is said and the sound of the whistle. and my first dreamsign, it must be: water ! now i do what? )

[pawstalker]

friday 6/4 i was outside. there were a lot of scaffolded structures around. (like the ones you see on festivals) and i was talking with this cute little 12-year old girl. she had black hair and was kind of animelike. bush arrives sat 7/4 big guys pulling/carrying really big trees around in the forest. the trees didnt have there branches, were around 20meter long 60 cm diameter. each guy was carrying two of them. ... my father as teacher. i didnt give a shit about the fact he was bad at it and that the class was rebelling. ... (just a quick note. have to add some still... lost it..)

[pawstalker]

sunday 8/4: (i woke up early in the night remembering another dream. fainted now) driving around in the rain and in the dark with some friends on a deserted road. turning around and waiting with the door open. ->something with hard-disks that were round and big as pizza and looked like heavymetal. a tribune for a swimming contest covered with green plastic. some discussion with a girl bout the quality of green plastic raincoats. her mother. in my secondary school. running around. saw a girl with fluffy blond hair that covered her entire body; it was that long/much. she had it tied around her belly. i ran along. waved to her and shouted something like. 'way to go.like it a lot.' then i entered the main entrance hall. there was a table.(never seen one there before) with ashtrays. i sat around the table with a tall guy (chris) and a little girl. then went over to the scedule board and discovered that monday i had no lessons. all four of them were crossed through. i walked over to the window. chris pointed me out that there was a really nice oldschoolstyle graffitti out there . it was sprayed on the ground and in transparent paint. read something like comic/co-mic -> i walked outside . my hair was soo weird. i had a shaved head with long hair on the front. like a weird punk-do. (this is weird. in RL i'm balding on top and have really inclined hairline) a teacher came walking by. i said something to him. i walked around some more. chris had dark curly hair and a lumberjackshirt on now. he was standing inside before the window. i had some trouble arranging my hair. it was rather long. then a woman came to me saying i had to talk to the principal. he came with the first teacher. and he said i couldn't say stuff like that to teachers and i should apologize. the first teacher was crying. badly. we had a large discussion in several languages. then i talked to the first teacher somewhat, still not really sure what to apologize for.. (when going over my dreams this morning i recalled the above and then i remembered this dream: ) "i was RC'ing. trying to put my finger through the palm of my hand, but it didnt went through fully i got stuck halfway. i tried again and again. Same result. Then i said to myself:' i have to do a good/another RC , because i'm definitely dreaming!' Then i got really happy. i did it. i did it. bouncing around. The dream was pretty vivid. There were 60 cm(2ft) high weird mushroom shaped object around and i was outside. "(but that's all i recal...) (Then after some time i remembered more.) "i was talking to a DC.(thats how i remember it) and asked him if he would be there the next time and i might have questioned him about the lucidity of my dream too.( But this part of the dream if really faint.)

[pawstalker]

wednesday: a room with a white tower. or at least it should be a tower. all we find is a wooden board box 7m high. and other stuff entering a huge hall in a group. classroom chairs and tables in the far end. we sit down. i sit in the back. the class is singing and banging tables as loud as they can. i cant stand it and yell at them to cut it out. thur: downstairs: JP's painting is lying on a table in a little square room. there is a stairs. i tear the paint off the painting. walk around. tell JP that i pulled off part of the paint. i walk upstairs. there are a lot of people in a living room. like some party.wooden floor. white walls. i go to the part where there is a low table with pillows around and sit down. the people are talking a lot on the other side of the room. i sit next to a boy who seems nice. fri: lots of girls from my old school are sneaking up behind me. sat : tubeslide swimming pool. its raining and were outside. lots of puddles and mud. wet grassy hillside. we are in a hurry. and we climb a little hill. on top there is sort of a bridge. or a fallen electricity pole. it sparks with blue light. we have to climb across. i go first . there are already others on the other side. then the sparks ,which come in serie, start again right when i'm on top of one. i can feel the blue electricity though my body. the structure of the bridge forces me to climb through some hole and swing around it. ->we reach the other side. down the hill there is a camp/train departure. we arrive there and german soldiers direct us to our wagon. its really small. and we have to fit in really tight. my place is on top of a lying grandfather. (not mine) it is for sure he will die this night. getting cold and turning gray already. i lie on top of him. the others in my group put their belongings in the wagon too; sliding in small boxes like they were made to fit. i stuff my backpack behind grandpa. the soldiers just do there things a little away. i lie down on top of grandpa who will die this night. outside; weird women diving and swimming in a ditch one after another. they look like ugly old prostitutes. under water trying to reach the sewage exit. it's some sort of a tv-show/game. i'm in a hotel. (on a mountain?) its feels high. window behind my back. sun is shining in. i have a straw hat on and sit there with somebody. important people enter the place.and leave by another door. (must be in some lobby) me and my friend are laughing and have fun. i feel arrogant. my aunt L is there acting pretentious. and asks me what the hell we are doing there just looking at these important people. i lift my hat and say"but aunt L , don't you even recognize me ??" cutting hair.

[pawstalker]

tuesday 17: being chased. we were with 6. got split up. tried to get to the center of a city, but getting close there were people chasing me/us. around the center there were canals and bending streets. ->outskurts of city. i walk on dirt roads with lots of small trees around them. i leave the road and walk through the trees. -> trashyards and blackened houses. west of town. -> we are back together. i tell T "we should at least stay in couples." later i lost her again. back on the trashyard i meet MAU. he has been in hiding there for some time. we cannot be close. there is always a big distance between us. (literal meaning) thursday 19: i'm in a big city. low houses. my mother is around. lots of walking. -> i have dinner with a cute girl on a terrace in a small street. feel a little guilty towards my girlfriend since i have such a good time. good conversation with the cute girl.-> more walking around. in a side street/alley i see a big pile of bread in front of a door. ->im on a tram/train. stepping out. my mother is there. everybody switches trains. no platforms. just some railtracks. its a little dangerous to step out the train since the other trains ride by really close.-> i get of the train. im in an arab/indian attraction park , its located in this maze of rooms and spaces. no outside. i find caly people. they look like a sculpture at first. two persons sitting on the ground with arms around eachother. the white clay is still wet. i touch them and the respond by telling they are not ready yet. i should let them dry more. ->i had to leave the park. aunts and grandmothers. overviews of the whole attraction park complex and the city. friday 20: a black cat is attacked by black, yellow pawed, spiders. he tries to bite them off. really struggling. -> some weird workshop in a basement.. a block of soap in a bowl of jelly. the handyknife/archery game. there is a red bag as goal. we're with 8 people. there is a instructor. we have these huge 2meter stanley-knives with breaking off knives. we have to pierce the bag and take it off the string. we all try hard. then i come up with the idea to just use two pieces of knife and get in close. i succeed. the instructor fuzzes a little wether i did it correct. -> i start shooting arrows now with the huge knife. (feels like bleach quincy power) sunday 22: weird goo covered the planet as a new continent. the sea split around usa , the goo took the empty space. third view dream: chinese guy that turns into a ball and kicks around. for 5000 yen. outside a restaurant in some street. (this nights dreams were too weird. my mind can't handle it to recall in any language or normal thoughts.)

[pawstalker]

tuesday 24. driving a digging-machine in the sand. downhill. there are black and white posters for 5 conerts. its daytime. i visit some of the concerts. its punkish. and they play in lunchrooms. gio and his weird folderwagons. driving around with dad but the asphalt streets were destroyed. grandma invented gasoline , the other woman had a greasy face and needed some to clean.

[pawstalker]

wednesday 25: driving around in a car with my younger brother.(barely remember) i walk in my child neighbourhood. the clouds have shaped of letters , even black outlines. i am amazed. its XWZY something.. i walk further and see some sort of rollercoast starting pioint with ssix little ways out. its surrounded by hedges and not high enough to be just a slider. there are little yellow/white cars in it. they prolly go back and forward.. ->this has something to do with drugs. there is a main inspector of police who discovered a new drug being used. and somewhere else they discover the same one... walking barechested in a hardwarestore with M. it was outside.big blocks of orange/blue.a faint bend in the road. we arrive at a house and through the window i wake S. he was asleep behind a curtain. why is he sleeping in the garage and not in the house. becasue in the house is the band-equipment. all these houses are empty and some are used by bands to practice. and if the police comes to check you just wave your card. -> in a snack bar waiting for food. and eating a sandwich. i invented my own sandwich . after a time i discover plastic in it. thats because i made this myself earlier..? the girl from the shop is standing before the counter. and says something about the boredness of me and my friends. and then asks us if any one wants some desert. but we laugh at that. some friends of me pull out magazines instead.and read a little. behind me there is this guy sitting.. he realted to the drug story..? then there was something in a empty warehouse. some older people i dont know but who belonged to my group.? and there was a little role of green paper. and they had used it to write down there phonenumbers. and i looked beyond that and then there were these drawings and i remembered i drew them earlier on.. a main character with some people around him. they laugh . he say something. he dies. second frame was really large. all figures drawn in black and filled in with little lines. (think its the snackbar dream i drew it in.)

[pawstalker]

thursday 26: in my old school. the biology room is transformed in computerroom. there is no longer a need for a biology room. walking around. something with old system and new system students. driving around in the forest. along dads house. he not there. im heading for some friends house. back to dads house i slide down the hill. -> in the garden of my dad. i take of my helmet. there is a weird animal inside my left ear.looks like a bee and a beetle mixed.it can fly and have a jaw the size of his body. i can hear it buzzin.i pull it out and still hear and feel buzzing. this time in my right ear. i try to pull it out but its in really deep. i keep trying and manage. its some sort of wet fly. ->some guy is asking me about heavy metal slicing tools. because he needs to use them. we're still in the garden of me dads house. behind the shed. we talk bout the heavy tools. they basicly just big blocks of iron with a sharp edge. there are little ones and big ones. he needs one to make a hole in something. im in a big house. there are some other boys. one is green. they do magic stuff. there is a toilet-sized room and in there is another door to another toilet-sized room.they play this game of going in there and melting through the wall and appearing somewhere else.one of the kids is playing with little stuff. i join in the fun and melt through the wall myself. now there are children running around outside and we throw the stuff at the kids from the balcony we are at. its a gothic style balcony. pillars and such. the stuff we throw is dirty. am at the airport in ukraine. chris is there too. we step out of the bus and are waiting to decide where to go. there is a huge lake or sea nearby. its sunny and dusty. there is a female blond airhostess. chris tries to ask her something while he is about to take vitamin. but the blond russian hostess thinks he tries to drug her with the vitamin. then i look at the sea and see the shape of the coast. its hooked on the left and round at the right. there are some roads towards it. and i have this map in my head. (my vision is in between map- and normal-view) and i say we have to circle the sea counterclockwise because the westcoast of the lake is more interesting. and on my map the word 'cancas' appears. its the name of the mountains. its on the northeast of the sea. and below that is says 'io' or 'on' ? and then i look again at the shape of the coast. (i do this from the airport standing on the ground. the coast is miles away. still i see it.) still in ukraine so it feels ,but inside a house or at home. my parents are there.or they are some grandparents. i have a laptop with a normal pc-monitor attached to it. i can move it around like it was a normal flatscreenlaptop. my fathers two different white shoes in some weird curtain system hanging in front the heater -> i go outside. there are santaclauses standing in front of the neighbours houses.its a city street. next doors is a black dwarf santaclaus. after that there is a normal one. he has a gang. there are other santaclaus-gangs fighting with each other on a square. im glad i have nothing to do with it and go back inside. my younger brother closes the silk curtain only, we don't want to look too suspicious towards the gangs.

[pawstalker]

last week dreams: italian mafia disco. some ladder thats fixed to a shed. santaclaus again. monday 7/5: was arranging the kitchenware. the knives and such. max was there. moving out. tuesday 8/5: had a weird dream with two girls and fingers in asses. in some bar next to the water. there was a fairy/boat. we had a beer and waited for the secret afterparty. in a house on the second floor i saw mariah carey come around the corner. she came in the room and had to cry. i hold her in my arms. she had a fluffy white coat and all these courtpeople like she was a queen. she had little dog in a box.