Thread: Burned up dreams

Keeping it clean

I was in the countryside. First walking, then in the car. I think my mother was there too. On one side was a field and on the other was thick bracken and brambles etc. There was no road but it was just possible to drive along the track, vaguely uphill. Some muddy paths had been made through the bracken. I said something about homosexuality at the time, which I phrased as "this is where ... it ... happened", meaning casual or even abusive gay sex in the cover of the bracken. Then I added "not to me, though" as if in denial.

Again some pdp here as I saw John Peel's biog the previous night in which I remember reading about gay rape.

I'm traveling vaguely uphill so I assume I'm moving out of deep unconscious areas. One side of the path is open fields the other is a dark thicket. In the dark thicket is an area of unconscious which I find exciting (I like exploring places like this) but also dirty, evidenced by the muddy paths. The presence of my mother is a contrast to the goings on in the thicket - she represents what is "right" in life. (Or so she says!!!). My observing self wouldn't admit to having a part of me that's "dirty". But the fact that I've dreamed it suggests that I can go down that path if I so choose and perhaps in some way have done already. (Although I have no gay sex experiences, other things may have been repressed earlier in life which would have courted disapproval by mother).

Don't take the job

Went for a new job in Cumbernauld (a new town near where I live and where I once did some training). Interview was with a younger man and I did well. Something about making games I think. I recall waiting for the verdict outside the boss' room. Then I recall thinking "Why do I want this job? I have a good job already." I then drove along the road to see where I was, recognising some of the many roads that go through that town.

I often dream of new jobs. And new jobs always seem to be lower pay than that one I already have. I have a feeling that I have to take these jobs or that I've got carried away without thinking why I'm doing it. I'm not too sure what these dreams are about although they do suggest that my job is important to me and my relative success is down to my anxiety about ending up doing the jobs I dream about. On the other hand, I think these dreams work at a deeper level and that the concept of a job has unconscious meaning and that's the bit I haven't yet decoded.

Everything about the job is wrong. The town (I hate the place), the younger boss, the pay, the car journey. All wrong and conflicting with my values.

Celebrating with Mum

Was at parents' house. There were place settings everywhere - the kitchen, the lounge and two even half way up the stairs. (Oddly not in the dining room though). The cutlery was silver and the place mats blue. People were sitting in these high stools which I found hard to get on and off. I asked what the event was and she said "me". Her birthday, I presume [on 17 October]. I managed to get onto a stool and wobbled it into place as it were.

First some pdp - I'd just celebrated father-in-law's birthday and my wife and I sat separately at a table for two as there were too many of us for one table. Also this was 2 days before my mothers birthday.

More personal stuff: place mats have a special significance for me as I used to refuse to put them away as a kind of teenage rebellion against mother trying to tell me it was my job.

The blue and silver colour scheme must have some relevance but I don't know what. It looked striking and very inviting. The stools also. As a boy we did indeed have stools rather than chairs but they were nothing like these which were modern wine-bar types.

I have a feeling of many people (all me) coming together but I'm feeling awkward about it. The specific symbolism is beyond my comprehension.

Originally Posted by Burned up

A night of random stuff

I'm not even going to start to interpret this bag of nonsense. I have no emotions I can recall nor can I say any dream affected me today in the way a memorable dream does.

Oh you do have those too... Welcome to my world!

Originally Posted by Oneironaut_Jeff777

wow

Yea that's what I say. I wonder if we can hire him to do ours?

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Oh you do have those too... Welcome to my world!

Thanks. It feels good here

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Yea that's what I say. I wonder if we can hire him to do ours?

Thanks for the vote of confidence guys. 'tho it made me blush!

SEA LIONS

I really hate when I have dreams related to water. I think I have some fear of the unknown, not knowing what is below the surface, etc.

Especially when there are creatures in the water.

Originally Posted by ElectricWojo

SEA LIONS

I really hate when I have dreams related to water. I think I have some fear of the unknown, not knowing what is below the surface, etc.

Especially when there are creatures in the water.

I guess that's what water means in your dreams - as it does in mine too. Only when the creatures come out of the water can we interact with them.

Bu

Back to school and singing

An adult training week seemingly in a children's school. One exercise meant 4 of us sitting on chairs in a line whilst others wandered around the room. One person seemed to think he was above simply taking part and started pushing my chair around the room. He seemed to want this room for his own group to meet. I felt a bit silly (well, embarrassed and angry really) although I told him I was enjoying it.

Next, we were in a playground. There was a wide terrace of steps leading upwards but otherwise nothing much there. I was on the steps at first but went down again, when it seemed that the activity we were about to have wasn't going to happen. Elsewhere in the playground was a wide wobbly bridge and I enjoyed standing on it making it wobble. Some schoolchildren joined us and wandered up the stepped terracing as if they were about to rehearse for a show. I was up at the top with them but felt pushed into the corner. I was warned I'd be assaulted bu someone so went back down to the playground. I saw that my fellow trainees and the schoolchildren were now mixed and those on the terracing were singing a finale "...these are the voices we want to hear." to a tune that sounded remarkably like a Coldplay single. I gingerly joined in as did someone else near me but I couldn't reach my fellow trainees as I wanted so I stood with the children on the lower steps. I saw one of my daughter's friends, Z, there.

Some background. I have done and am now continuing doing some training. Also, the Coldplay link perhaps harks back to a song my eldest was playing which was a Christian song to a Snow Patrol tune. [in my mind, Snow Patrol are a poor person's Coldplay].

The first part of the dream is interesting. I'm being pushed around and am angry inside but hiding it outwardly by turning into fun. This is how I cope anyway so it's interesting to see this in a dream. The "pusher" was some kind of shadow character of mine [maybe even Jung's "shadow" archetype] who is prepared to act out their anger rather than simply tolerating the situation. I clearly have it in me to be both pusher and pushed. The number 4 appears again here (a recurring theme for me). I can think of many examples of "4" in my life, notably the age difference between myself and my sister. (Important to me when young). The school setting reinforces this hypothesis. And yes, I did feel "pushed out" when she was born.

The second part is outside. I'm mixing with contemporaries and with children. And we all end up singing together following some uncertainty. When I try and rise up the steps, I meet with problems. From the bottom everything is fine. The problems exist in higher consciousness - i.e. closer to awareness. Again I'm pushed around. At the bottom, towards my unconscious (but not inaccessibly so as it was daylight) I also came across a wobbly bridge. Raised a little above the ground was just enough uncertainly to be fun.

I love the idea of my child selves and adult selves singing "these are the voices we want to hear". Like they all enjoy being heard and whatever problems may arise in other dreams, there is huge hope and strength in the harmony.

Addendum to "Back to school and singing"

This was one dream I wrote down last week whilst away and had completely forgotten until I re-read it. Having now committed it to the DJ and analysed it I'm left feeling very fragile and hurt. Sometimes childhood hurt arises for me in the most unusual places. I never really learned to "play" as a child - always too purposeful. I am tearful when I see children playing nicely (angry when it's destructive) as I'm aware that it's something I've missed all my life. Dreams like this show me that all is not lost.

Bu

Something lurking under the table?

I was walking in parkland around an old house which was used as some kind of park cenrte or residential centre. Next I was inside in a small kitchen with a table which looked like the kitchen table form my childhood. There were other characters there. Mainly other adults but also a child and a dog. Next think I knew the other characters became an abstract design on a picture. It looked like an embroidery but was really made from lots of small shapes on a white background. They/it seemed to be asking me something. Last thing I remember was pushing the table over and being on the damp floor. I panicked and shouted and woke up.

The setting was lush so I assume we're talking somewhere fertile and well nourished. Wandering the parkland leads me to think that I'm accessing an area rich in memories but perhaps also hiding some in the thickness of the vegetation. The house seemed impregnable from the outside and I don't even recall going inside it. I was taken to the centre of this piece of dreamworld to see something I wouldn't normally see.

The kitchen table is the only prop. This table I recall my parents buying when I was around 7 years old. It was yellow formica. It also seemed very large as if I'm looking at it as a child would - perhaps a 7 year old or maybe a little older. The other characters I don't recall seeing, although the picture I recall vividly. It was made of lots of different coloured shapes (like Matisse) and seemed to have some kind of power to engage me. The word "fragmented" comes to mind here. Finally being on the floor and panicking leaves me thinking I'm afraid of something relating back to my mid-childhood. Fear of being found out. Fear of giving up secrets or having something taken from me. That's how it felt.

I can't access any more of this stuff as I write. But it's playing on my mind big-time. I am aware that age 7 was a pivotal time for me. All sorts of personal history seems to trace back to that age.

Couldn't fail to notice...

I was lying on my back. There were a few or us chatting and the only person I really remember was a woman at work who I've known for 20 years or so. I realised that there was a gap between my t-shirt and jeans, which isn't itself particularly unusual. The disconcerting part was what was showing in the gap, which was my full sexual glory, as it were. I didn't dare move in case I drew attention to my exposure. And then I thought that she must have seen me anyway and was not saying anything.

It's interesting that the DC here was someone with whom I feel generally comfortable. In RL I change my clothes in the office from suit to sports gear without leaving my desk and it doesn't bother me if she's around, although I'm not naked - just in my underwear. So this is a dream about revealing secrets perhaps? Sexual secrets that I possibly don't even admit to myself but at the same time know that a friendly part of me which could be embarrassed simply isn't.

Ski season starts early

This dream was more of a snooze first thing this morning and probably only lasted a few seconds.

I was with someone I saw yesterday (pdp) and it was dark in a remote glen in Scotland. (But it could have been Austria!!!). There was thick snow on the ground and people were skiing on the other side of the road. I couldn't see any ski lifts or tows and the next thing recall was climbing up this sheer escarpment onto a plateau above the road. It was light when I got there and the snow was much thinner. It had melted on the hillsides above me. Over the road the snow was still thick and it was still dark. It looked like people were preparing the slopes to open the for skiing. Then as I looked at the blue sky and green hillsides I woke up.

First the easy bit. Climbing from darkness to light was a waking experience as I rose from deep unconscious to consciousness.

I often dream of snow and skiing but I'm not sure what it represents for me. Snow thickness is probably like water depth, obscuring whatever is below it. The thick snow at road level contrasts with the thin snow higher up and the visible grass growing underneath. Skiing is a leisure activity which for me in expensive and perhaps a little risky. Perhaps it represents my need and fear for excitement. In this dream I didn't actually ski (I rarely do in dreams) so I wonder if there's something about my holding back from risk and excitement - which in RL is certainly true.

Work to be done and old computers

I was with my young son apparently at a nearby university although it was a large dark room that looked more like a cinema. Between lectures we went to the computer facility. It was down a ramp to a dimly lit room below, long like a wide passage with computers along one side. He put some kind of a chip in the end computer and it took a while to boot. When I looked it was an old-looking piece of equipment not like a computer but more like some piece of test equipment or military gear. I suggested we move to another desk and as we did a member of staff said over the speaker then the facility will close as lectures are about to start. I realised it was 1.5 hours before lectures as did a couple of others so the person granted a longer time there. But most people had obediently gone by now.

Anyway the next computer wasn't much more modern than the first. It's display was one line of old LED-type characters like a wide calculator readout. My son put his chip in this one and started the log-in process.

My thoughts then turned to what I was doing there. I felt that I spent too much time socialising and not doing my work. I wondered why it was I couldn't simply just go to somewhere like this room and get some work done. I recall thinking I had lots to do but hadn't written it down. My second daughter now appeared in the dream wearing a white jumper (which I know she owns). She hadn't written the work down either but had made enough messy jottings to know what she had to do.

We never did finish logging in before I woke up.

The feeling of not getting work done echoes the many dreams I get about being back at school and being totally unprepared for exams etc. It's apparently normal for achievers like me to dream this stuff and probably represents the fear we have of not achieving.

The dark cinema-like building will be deep in the unconscious (dark) and the sense of space - cavernous - suggests an empty part of me that I would expect to be filled with people. Maybe one day I'll find out more about this place.

The computer room was lower still but was lighter. I'm deeper into my unconscious but nevertheless it is clearer here.

The computers are interesting. This is an emotion-free zone and interestingly it is old computers here. My son (a computer addict) represents that part of me that wants to get logged in to the emotion-free zone. He is 8 and I suspect the equipment I saw must have been from that era (early 70s). I have already learned that I distanced myself from emotions at the age of 7 or so, preferring science and technology to provide answers. Interesting that he had a modern chip with him as a kind of passkey. Not sure what that was about.

My daughter is actually very organised although it appears to be a haphazard type of organisation. I struggled through school in that sense, making sure I was never far away from someone who knew what they were doing in terms of deadlines, procedures etc. Her presence is a challenge to me that I need to get organised now. My diary barely hangs together and this has been on my mind for a while.

The 1.5 hours intrigues me. I don't know why this number is important to me but it must have some significance. One and a half what?

Down in the sand

I was in a sandy trench dug across some front gardens. There may have been a pipe running through it but I wasn't sure. I don't recall the point of the trench at all really. Anyhow, one section was a little lower and was more like a tunnel. It was a large space - box shaped - about 5m long and 2m high and wide. I was wondering whether to go down there. I knew there was a risk of the sand collapsing on me and my being trapped. Then I wondered if I took a hosepipe with me I'd make sure I had enough air to keep breathing if there was a collapse.

Sand shifts. It is unstable and this part of my unconscious is not firm ground as it were. It was light and I was near the surface so not too deep into unawares. The feeling of being in a place with a small risk of collapse is stimulating rather than scary. That's how it felt. Low risk. And that's how my life is just now. Not on firm ground but subject to change. My reluctance to get deeper into the sand without "a strategy" for survival sounds like good practical wisdom to me. A lifeline, as it were. I don't want to go somewhere uncertain without a lifeline. That's exactly the way I think in RL.

The location of the trench is more complex. It's in front of houses. 1930s houses I think they were [friends have just bought one of these]. I am not in the house where it is safe but in the garden where it is more exposed. But the feeling was more one of inconvenience - people presumably don't want this trench across their garden. I was being a nuisance to them and was not on firm ground. Yes, I feel like that a lot!

As an aside the very first nightmare I recall as an infant was being buried by sand being blown across a beach or a desert. Sand has probably always represented potential danger to me.

Childhood friendship

I was age 7 again, although very much with adult awareness. I was sitting on a sofa with a girl I knew from childhood, who I shall call ES. She lived over the road. She was wearing a green jumper. I had my legs stretched out and was touching her back with my feet. I stroked her back with my hands but she pushed me away. Then I stretched my legs out and she leaned back against them. I enjoyed the simple pleasure of childhood touch. It was then time for tea - must have heard my mother calling. I held her hands, kind of both hands with her behind me, and we ran into the kitchen. I seemed to be aware at this point that I was both adult and child, because I wanted the childhood experience of having tea and the table barely reaching my chin. It was fun the two of us sitting together like excited children looking over the seemingly high table again.

I felt really excited to see ES again. I hadn't seen her since I was about 8 and we'd drifted apart by then anyway after I moved to a different part of the village. The loving feeling stayed with me all day and I tried to think how to find out what she's doing now.

It was the simple childhood pleasure that I connected to. The non-sexual (or pre-sexual) feelings of fun and touch. As I believe everything in the dream is a part of me (and everyone) then I am challenged to think what part of me she represents. My playful self comes to mind. Certainly I was able to experience fun and play like I don't in RL. She wasn't entirely happy with my touching her as my first attempt was resisted. But when I left it to her initiative it worked fine.

Frankly I feel too overcome with emotion and a yearning for lost innocent love to be too bothered about the technical meanings of this dream.

Still reading...

I love the Childhood Friendship dream.

Thanks Moonbeam - means a lot to me. Really! I started looking at your rather more established DJ and intend to give it quality time when ...ummm .... I have some to give.

Originally Posted by Menthol

I love the Childhood Friendship dream.

Thanks for the feedback Menthol. It was a very powerful one for me, just before I started on this forum. It is especially hard to convey just how deprived I feel (as an adult) of the pleasures of being a child. Even more difficult to understand why I wanted to "grow up", effectively rejecting a very special side side of me (which will doubtless appear in the DJ when I dig deep enough into the archive of scrappy A4 paper).

Bu

Harmony and living in bathrooms

I walked into a public bathroom and saw both men and women in there, chatting. They seemed to be people from a course I'm doing although I don't know why I thought that. I looked around for a cubicle but only found portable toilets - as used for camping etc - among what looked liked small partitioned living areas. One room was laid out as if for a nativity scene and I couldn't bring myself to use the toilet there. I wandered around but gave up after a while. Someone from the group of people was rallying the mob, some kind of complaint about changing the timetable. He asked what we all thought and I piped up sarcastically "well they shouldn't consult us about it". I walked out in search of another bathroom.

I wandered into the adjoining faculty, which was called "Harmony". It looked more modern - perhaps 1960s or 1970s rather than the clumpy stone and plaster structure I was coming out of. It was white with abstract designs around the place and a large entrance area. I saw a sign to the toilets so followed it. I went in the door and had the impression it was about to close. The time was 7.30 - there must have been a clock on the wall or something. A janitor chap was in a room on the left and I went through an open space on the right. This led to a room which looked like a living quarters of some sort. Most of one large cubicle off of it was occupied by a log structure, which I climbed onto more out of curiosity than anything. It was like one of those large sofa-like swings that people sometimes have in their gardens and it took up the whole room. There was not toilet and I woke up never having found one.

Echoes of a dream I posted a few days ago, where I was looking for a bathroom in a hospital which was also based around a large white entrance room and with a sign to the toilets.

The time on the clock jumped out at me. That number again. Does this go back to when I was age 7 and a half?

Looking for a toilet and only finding people and living space. This is becoming such a repeated theme the interpretation must surely be staring me in the face.

The "faculty of harmony" sounds a wonderful place to find myself! If you were to ask what Harmony means to me I'd probably say " a girl from the future" as it's the name of a character at a local visitor attraction. She brings a message of peace - that kind of thing.

I did move house at around that age (not sure exactly when) from a old to a new house. Not sure if that's relevant. Don't think I found Harmony though. Although they weren't bad days I suppose.

From the dreammoods dream dictionary:
Toilet
To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless.

But therein lies the problem. I'm NOT seeing a toilet. I'm looking for one, though. To follow the theme, I'm looking for a release of emotions or I'm looking to get rid of something useless. And I'm 7 and a half years old and I'm finding just living space, people, log structures and ...uh .... a nativity scene. I don't know how good a timekeeper my unconscious is, but at exactly 7 and a half years old it would have been 3 December 1970. A nativity scene wouldn't look out of place. And there was a swing in the garden. And a log structure which my father made. But I could be barking up totally the wrong tree here.

The plot thickens...

Originally Posted by Burned up

Thanks Moonbeam - means a lot to me. Really! I started looking at your rather more established DJ and intend to give it quality time when ...ummm .... I have some to give.

Oh it's not nearly as interesting as yours; the analyses are what does it. I realize one can really only do one's own. It's neat to see how you do it.

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

Oh it's not nearly as interesting as yours; the analyses are what does it. I realize one can really only do one's own. It's neat to see how you do it.

The flip side is that I think I'm slowly going insane.

Sleeping family and fences blown down

This dream initially featured daughter #2 although the content has faded.
Next I recall arriving at the house I grew up in when I was a teenager. Something was going on at the door, but again that part has faded. Walking further into the house I could see the dining room. Three people were in there, asleep upright on the dining chairs. One was a child, possibly daughter #2, another was someone of adult/parent age which could have been me and another was my nana (maternal grandmother). The generations seemed to have been crossed somewhere as the montage was definitely 3 generations not 4 as the genealogy suggests.
I'm next upstairs in my old bedroom. I look out of the window to the back garden and see that the fences have all blown down creating one continuous scene of devastation across neighbouring gardens.
And that was about it.

Just imagining the montage of three people sleeping like that has me wondering why I'm missing something. Perhaps (as one DD has it) sleep means I'm totally missing something anyway! The location is presumably important. I'm back at the house I lived in between the ages of 10 and 18. I don't see my parents, just other people in my family tree asleep in the dining room. Daughter #2 is 14, if that is relevant - i.e. the age midway when I was living there. A room for coming together. I'm going to need help on this I think.

The second part seems superficially easier to understand. I go upstairs to a place that is closer to consciousness. To my bedroom. My space. I look outside and "my" garden has had its boundaries removed. Like I'm secure in my space but outside is not so secure. But this is all in me and it is my barriers that are going down. Not so much a need for privacy but a bid for freedom. I felt a little concerned but certainly not scared.

Too ill to dream

I spent most of yesterday in bed with a bug. I snoozed dozens of times but don't recall dreaming. Overnight my fever finally burst out and I woke up in a sweat. Still no dreams. When I awoke this morning still nothing. Either I was in deep sleep throughout or there's something about my state that meant no dream recall. I was on the verge of hallucinating at one point the previous day about having an elder sister that died. Probably something dream-like in that.