From 14 October 2007 (#2)
Do it right, you lot!
I was in charge of a large group of teenagers. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to form a "community meeting" which anyone who has done counsellor training may recognise. It essentially means sitting in a circle and ... well ... coping with no agenda. But this lot just kept on talking to each other. I got really annoyed that they weren't "doing it right" and weren't keeping to the rules.
Definitely some prev day processing here as I was thinking about counsellor training and some research I'm about to do. The teens sound like my own adolescent ignorance in its many forms which presumably still exists today. My observing self (that I have in my waking life) is the angry self in the dream. It is angry because it can't control. And basically that's how I feel so often - all these thoughts from the past flashing through me with no quiet time to settle and come to mutual understanding. Psychoanalytic theory is based on this - that our psyche is in lots of bits all of which are in conflict with each other.
From 14 October 2007 (#3)
Keeping it clean
I was in the countryside. First walking, then in the car. I think my mother was there too. On one side was a field and on the other was thick bracken and brambles etc. There was no road but it was just possible to drive along the track, vaguely uphill. Some muddy paths had been made through the bracken. I said something about homosexuality at the time, which I phrased as "this is where ... it ... happened", meaning casual or even abusive gay sex in the cover of the bracken. Then I added "not to me, though" as if in denial.
Again some pdp here as I saw John Peel's biog the previous night in which I remember reading about gay rape.
I'm traveling vaguely uphill so I assume I'm moving out of deep unconscious areas. One side of the path is open fields the other is a dark thicket. In the dark thicket is an area of unconscious which I find exciting (I like exploring places like this) but also dirty, evidenced by the muddy paths. The presence of my mother is a contrast to the goings on in the thicket - she represents what is "right" in life. (Or so she says!!!). My observing self wouldn't admit to having a part of me that's "dirty". But the fact that I've dreamed it suggests that I can go down that path if I so choose and perhaps in some way have done already. (Although I have no gay sex experiences, other things may have been repressed earlier in life which would have courted disapproval by mother).
From 15 October 2007 (#2)
Celebrating with Mum
Was at parents' house. There were place settings everywhere - the kitchen, the lounge and two even half way up the stairs. (Oddly not in the dining room though). The cutlery was silver and the place mats blue. People were sitting in these high stools which I found hard to get on and off. I asked what the event was and she said "me". Her birthday, I presume [on 17 October]. I managed to get onto a stool and wobbled it into place as it were.
First some pdp - I'd just celebrated father-in-law's birthday and my wife and I sat separately at a table for two as there were too many of us for one table. Also this was 2 days before my mothers birthday.
More personal stuff: place mats have a special significance for me as I used to refuse to put them away as a kind of teenage rebellion against mother trying to tell me it was my job.
The blue and silver colour scheme must have some relevance but I don't know what. It looked striking and very inviting. The stools also. As a boy we did indeed have stools rather than chairs but they were nothing like these which were modern wine-bar types.
I have a feeling of many people (all me) coming together but I'm feeling awkward about it. The specific symbolism is beyond my comprehension.
From the archive: 11 September 2007
Childhood friendship
I was age 7 again, although very much with adult awareness. I was sitting on a sofa with a girl I knew from childhood, who I shall call ES. She lived over the road. She was wearing a green jumper. I had my legs stretched out and was touching her back with my feet. I stroked her back with my hands but she pushed me away. Then I stretched my legs out and she leaned back against them. I enjoyed the simple pleasure of childhood touch. It was then time for tea - must have heard my mother calling. I held her hands, kind of both hands with her behind me, and we ran into the kitchen. I seemed to be aware at this point that I was both adult and child, because I wanted the childhood experience of having tea and the table barely reaching my chin. It was fun the two of us sitting together like excited children looking over the seemingly high table again.
I felt really excited to see ES again. I hadn't seen her since I was about 8 and we'd drifted apart by then anyway after I moved to a different part of the village. The loving feeling stayed with me all day and I tried to think how to find out what she's doing now.
It was the simple childhood pleasure that I connected to. The non-sexual (or pre-sexual) feelings of fun and touch. As I believe everything in the dream is a part of me (and everyone) then I am challenged to think what part of me she represents. My playful self comes to mind. Certainly I was able to experience fun and play like I don't in RL. She wasn't entirely happy with my touching her as my first attempt was resisted. But when I left it to her initiative it worked fine.
Frankly I feel too overcome with emotion and a yearning for lost innocent love to be too bothered about the technical meanings of this dream.