Thread: Fluffy Bunny Feet's First Dream Journal!

From now on, this journal only details the more intense dreams that made an impression on me, and I'm skipping the boring stuff. Another bad dream about my hubby last night that I need to get out.

Dream- I was playing all these video games, except it was like I was actually in them. They kept changing. I ended up in one that was supposed to be like candy land. There was this little train going around a big pool. It was in bad shape though and the cars kept falling into the water. Suddenly there was a big earthquake or something that turned the building on it's side. As this happened, I surprisingly saw Grant. He had been working on some geeky project for months with a few guys in the room next door. I was worried that he might be hurt.

Then I was in high school again and Grant was there but he was acting really strange, like he was really dumb and yelling things that made no sense. He looked weird, had a bad haircut and hadn't shaved for a week. Then he got back to normal and we kissed and were happy to be reunited. We went into a girl's bathroom, which pissed off some girls. Then his geeky friends were there too and I recognized one of them as T, a photographer we know.

There was a break where I woke up, and then I was in a class. I was worried about Grant and trying to call him on my cell phone. It wasn't working, as usual. Finally, the phone rang, and Grant was hysterical, saying they had trapped him and were holding him and doing bad things to him. I realized his voice was coming from behind a nearby wall. There were a bunch of big folding tables blocking him in. I started to tear them away. Then I realized he had become a deformed giant, made me think of "the Amazing Colossal Man." I wanted so badly to be with him, but as soon as he got loose, someone threw acid on him and he started melting. By the time I got to him, only a bit of his head was left. I told him that I loved him, and thought maybe this had been a past life of his...

I think I'm starting to enjoy my crazy fighting dreams/nightmares. It's infinitely more interesting than real life...

Dream- My parents' dog had mites or something. My dad was convinced that the way to get rid of them was to put the dog in an oven for a while. I was trying desperately to convince him not to do this. I told him that we used frontline on our rats when they had mites and it worked great and would be much less dangerous. He said he didn't want it getting everywhere. I kept telling him that he was going to end up killing the dog by putting her in the oven but he wouldn't listen. So he put her in this ancient stone oven and sure enough, she died. I was so angry with him and told him off. I said me and mom would never forgive him and nobody would ever adopt a dog to him again, knowing what happened to the last one. Then I kinda started to feel bad for him.

Dream- It's kinda fuzzy at the beginning, I remember being at my old dorm for a while, and then fighting some fat guy in a fancy hotel room. At this point I realized I was superhero and embarked on many adventures. I could fly, teleport, and control the weather. I was doing a lot of flying around and fighting bad guys. At one point I rescued a disabled guy from a river. Then I need to hide out for a while and I ended up on a cruise ship full of dominatrices. There was a huge dressing full of crazy clothes. I kept seeing dresses that I really wanted but someone else always seemed to get to them before me. I was fighting with this one girl over a dress. It occured to me that she was almost as strong as me, so she must be a superhero too. I told her of her superhero powers and she joined me for a while. We fought more bad guys and ended up on another cruise ship full of punk rock kids. I decided it would be cool to have a mowhawk and she dyed her hair blue. We were in some band, though we didn't have a drummer. We spent a lot of time on the ship hanging out and talking. I felt like we were falling in love. But she was already in love with a guy back home (who I knew was Grant, somehow). And she eventually had to leave to go back to him. Music kept playing and it kept getting heavier. Now I was flying on my way to hell. The sky was all dark and orange and there were bats carrying me. I realized later that I was taking a train full of regular people with me. I didn't think they should have to go through this, so we stopped in a spot like 10 miles away from the devil's castle. The spot was called "Devil's Embrace" or something. There was crappy little train that was supposed to go to Janesville. I tried to get everyone on it and to send them back. Now I was by myself on my way to the devil's castle. Unfortunately, I woke up around this point.


Thoughts & Themes- The first dream involved me being really angry at my dad for something terrible he'd done, even if he hadn't meant for it to have turned out that way. It could be sort of an analogy to my childhood. I have a lot of angry dreams toward him.

The second dream was really very epic, and my description doesn't even begin to cover it. It seemed like crazy amount of time were passing, at least months, and I was kinda worried that I had been sleeping that long. I was really enjoying the excitement of it all. I feel like there's this person inside me that's much bolder and more exciting than me, and I often become her in my dreams. I think the girl that I met, who I realized must be a superhero as well, was actually me in real life. That's why she had to go back to Grant, because it's hard to balance being a superhero and having true love (just watch any movie, right?). As for the flying into hell, I'm not sure. I felt like it was something I had to do. It was all very spooky imagery, yet I wasn't really afraid. I think I need to periodically prove to myself that I can fight my demons, I can come away from that fight feeling stronger...

This is really a series of dreams that kept going on. I woke up several times during this sequence and went back into the same sort of thing when I fell asleep again.

I was wandering around this world, it was like a giant goth club. I saw A, a former infatuation of mine, but only for a second. I kept seeing people that it seemed like a I knew and we'd make eye contact for a bit. Eventually I came to the realization that everyone was after me. I began to run and they chased me. I hid behind a pile of bikes, which seemed to work. Grant was hanging out with these guys and persuaded them to look elsewhere. But one guy came to get his bike and saw me. I didn't want him to tell anyone so I started making out with him. But then the guys thought I was going to make out with all of them and I didn't want to.

Then I was with this little gay gothy guy. He wanted me to do some ritual where his blood mixed with a dog's, and then he would have the power of that dog. The dog was a German shepard. For some reason, I really didn't like this idea and refused to do it. Somehow, the ritual was still done but with a corgi, so he wasn't any stronger. There was this big group of gothy people that were very angry that I hadn't done this. They were trying to train me to become one of them, and I apparently failed one of the trials. Then they asked me a question from their sacred book that I was supposed to have memorized, and I didn't know the answer. I complained that they only gave me a night to memorize it, they said it was more like a week. I told them I didn't want to be part of their group anyway. This really set them off. They said they would get revenge for that. They said they'd meet me at the Inferno on a date that had three r's (or maybe 2?). I'd know them by their amazing costumes, which would be far superior to mine. "Of course they will," I said sarcastically.

Unsure what to do about these people, I met with another group that had split off. There were only 3 of them, two guys and one girl. They had been rejected/abused by this group as well. The girl told me that they had taken everything in her life. I gave her a hug and tried to console her. I asked them about how to counter these people, all I remember is them saying something about me being more or less powerful than normal, and they faded away. I was left confused. I came across these people who seemed to be geeks that I had made fun of previously in my life. They seemed angry and I felt bad about it.

Then I was surrounded by the goth group again. It was like some kind of class where they sat around and mocked me. I had fruit in my backpack for some reason. They left fairly quickly and another class came in. It was some kind of lecure about people getting scammed. I thought maybe I could learn something helpful from it, so I asked some students if they minded if I sat in. They said that they didn't. I had a hard time finding a seat, though I finally found one in the back. There was an interesting video on that made me think maybe the solution was to find another group of people to fight against the goths. The people sitting next to me really had a problem with me being there, though, so after a while I made myself disappear.

Surrounded by the goths again, this time I was getting into knife fights with all of them. They were all trying to stab me. I was able to fight most of them off but eventually one got me. I think there's more to this dream but that is all I can articulate at this point...


Thoughts & Themes- Wow, I don't know what to make of all this. A part of me, especially while I was dreaming, is scared that these are real people that are going to try to bring me down in real life. I prefer a metaphorical interpretation, but I'm not exactly sure what. Perhaps I'm worried that some aspects of my social life may come back to haunt me? Perhaps I have a deep distrust of the people that I also admired and long to be accepted by?

This was 2 nights ago, but I felt it important to record it because of it's emotional effect.

Dream- I was in some class in the past or future. It was fascinating, but I felt like telling the teacher about my time period too. He was also directing a play and there were tryouts. I tried out for the part of this naked girl getting out of a pool because I figured it wouldn't require much acting. But the guys gave me the lead part instead. We ended up falling in love.

Then I was at my parents' house, by myself, and I kept hearing different voices from different time periods. I thought I was experiencing eternity. It was making me insane, I was laughing crazily. So I decided to make it stop, I wanted to just live the life I have now. I decided it was the best life I'd experienced. So I went to live it again, but the only person I knew there was my mom. I asked her where everyone else was, and she said they were swimming up the bile (??), which was apparently akin to working off karmic debt or something.

Then I visited Grant. I asked him to spend eternity with me. He said he didn't have an eternity. I asked why not, and he said that somewhere in the back of his mind, he didn't want on. He said he needed for there not to be an eternity. I was crushed...


Thoughts & Themes- I woke up from this dream feeling like I had experienced something profound. It was a tragic sort of dream. I feel like there's always been something dark and hopeless in Grant's mind, that I've only seen a few times, but scared me nonetheless. He seems relatively happy now, so I'm not sure why the dream occured to me at this point. I told him about it right after I woke up- I had tears in my eyes as I recounted it. He promised that if he had a choice, he'd spend eternity with me...

Dream- I was on a field trip with classmates from grade school. We were standing up on this big cliff by Lake Superior...there were some unexpectedly big waves that cut off our way off the cliff. We would have to use a climber's harness to get off. I volunterred to be first. As I was preparing, this guy kept looking at me and telling me how much he hated me. I asked him why and he said it was because everyone hated me, I was a loser, etc. Everyone else seemed to support this. I was angry about this, so once I got off the cliff, I cut the harness down so they'd all be trapped there.

Now I was in a huge building, it was supposed to be Noah's Ark (the waterpark). There were all kinds of waterslides and pools. I was running and hiding from someone. I kept running deeper into the place and thinking I could escape through a window. I climbed up some waterslides, to a window. Then the whole building started moving. I traveled in it for a while, and then I floated off...I was naked inside some clear balloon with some water in it. I floated around in this thing for a while until it got close to the cliff from before, where my classmates were. They were all very angry about me leaving them there and were trying to kill me. I went back inside Noah's Ark to hide.

I was briefly remembering another dream I'd had about this place where I'd starred in this American Gladiators type contest and won. I thought maybe I was a superhero. I went down the waterslides with some people and I entetained them as well. Then there was this little guy that was trying to rape me. I had to fight him off, which left him near death. I felt bad about nearly killing him, and I figured the way to make it up to him would be to buy him some of his favorite porn, which was something to do with unicorn. I thought if I could get it to him before he died, then he might survive.

I was going to get it off amazon, though I knew it wouldn't arrive on time, so I decided I'd go right to their warehouse. I had someone with a latop figure out where the warehouse was, which apparently was in Arizona someplace. So I teleported over there, found the warehouse and broke in. It was full of a bunch of strange odds and ends. I found the manager and demanded to know where the dvd's were. He said they were at anohter warehouse in Wisconsin. So I went there and eventually found what I was looking for and brought it back to the guy. He survived and ended up being a superhero as well.

Next, I went to this Catholic school where the kids were very repressed. There was a spelling bee going on. Me and some girls that went to school there were trying to think of words to quiz on for the spelling bee. I was trying to come up with something sexual. I felt bad that these girls were so repressed and was trying to bring things more out into the open by joking and stuff. They seemed to think I was really cool. Finally I decided that masturbation should be one of the spelling bee words. I convinced them of this by telling them that it was God's way of helping prevent intercourse.

One of the girls I had been hanging out with became a superhero as well, and I also met up with the short guy from ealier in one of the chapels. Then I went for a walk outside and realized my powers were diminishing. I kept trying to fly but only could do so for a bit. I decided that it meant my work was done for now, and I should go back to my husband because he probably missed me.

A while later, I was at some sort of conference on superheros. I was just acting as a normal person there and no one recognized me. I was in the audience, watching all the descriptions of the different heros, most of whom I knew. Then they got to the part on me and the audience cheered a lot. They showed a pictured that was supposed to be me, but it wasn't. It was a girl that looked simliar, and she had these crazy pink hair falls in. After the conference was done, I saw this other girl I knew was a hero as well. We talked about how strange it was to just be in the audience and no one recognized us. I asked he for a ride home, and she took me to a train station. That was about when I woke up.

Dream- My dad was running a carnival with games and rides for all of our extended family. Which included a bunch of mafia guys for some reason. Dad kicked one of them out and he was pissed...I was worried that he might kill my dad or something. There was this old dude that was really nice and he gave me some guitars. I asked my dad if there was a rummage sale somewhere, and he said yes, it was just up the hill. I went up to look at the stuff but it was just a bunch of fancy craft things. I had to go back around this building, and on one side there was a couple having a violent argument and on the other there was this really creepy guy. I chose the side with the couple cause I thought they wouldn't notice me. Someone threw something at me that started me on fire. I couldn't put it out and I knew I was going to die, so I made sure to start that person on fire too.

Then everything changed completely. I realized I no longer had a physical body and figured I was dead. It was a strange feeling, to not have a body. I was in some spaceship or something. Some people told me not to forget my heart, so I cut it out of this giant body. I drew a pocket on my shirt and put it in there. There I had to pick an avatar to represent me. I went through various hairstyles but none of them seemed to quite fit my head. I told the guy that was directing me that they needed some better meshes. He said they couldn't get any until someone on earth made them. Then I was going down this giant slide. Once in a while, there'd be a piece missing that just fell off into space...this was apparently missing data. On my way, I saw a bunch of bizarre creatures who were sort of like colorful, cute monsters, but also partially human.

I got down to the control room of the ship and met the captain. He told me that they were aliens, they had been going to visit the earth back in the 50's. Something happened to their ship, and they got transported into another dimension, where they lived now. They were very interested in humans and the creatures I had seen were hybrids. They were trying to get us to be better on the environment. I touched what must have been some chemicals and they burned my hand. They fixed me up and told me now I'd have a mark on my penis...I protested that I was female and the guy was like "penis, vagina, whatever." I felt like I was in a movie. Then they were doing some sort of experiment with me about sexual attraction. I had to go meet and talk to this girl. She seemed kinda ditzy. They asked me if I found her attractive and I said not really.


Thoughts & Themes- This is the kind of dream I really enjoy having. Traveling to other dimensions, meeting strange beings, losing my body, it's all very interesting. It's strange how I often think I'm dead in dreams like this. I've always felt that if there is an afterlife, it must be something like a dream. The whole alien thing seem to share a lot in common with stereotypical abduction stories- experimenting, hybrids, sexual elements, messages about the environment. Crazy stuff...

Ok, this is a really long-ass dream. It's anohter one of those epic things with some really surreal moments and religious themes. I had many moments of fear that I'd somehow lost the real world forever, that I'd never wake up. I wouldn't even know where to begin in interpreting it, it's so incredibly complicated. Words don't even begin to do it justice.

Dream- I was at some sort of old-time festival. Some guy was offering almond flour to people, and everyone flocked to it, other than the drunks, who were all slumped out on the floor. I didn't think it was that big of a deal...people came back with cups of the stuff and it got all over everything. I tasted a little and thought it was pretty good. There was a buffet with doughnuts and I tried one. It was good but a little odd tasting and I couldn't finish it. Then the building we were in got attacked by an army that looked like it was from the civil war. We all hid in a corner, but unfortunately, there were some windows there that they could look through. They turned out to be just war re-enactors though. But then we got attacked again and I thought this time it might be real. I hid in a bathroom with family and friends, saying that everyone in there would be reincarnated. Then somebody did announcements of who was about to die and we said goodbye to them. Then I went through a portal that was supposed to take me to my current home.

It seemed like I was in my hometown, though I was disappointed that Grant wasn't there with me. I kept talking to him anyway, as though he were an imaginary friend. The neighborhood was very peaceful as I walked along the road. There were no cars, just bicycles. I was walking along a beautiful, huge river, when suddenly these giant garbage trucks came flying down it. I realized that this place wasn't the paradise it first appeared to be.

Now I was in a futuristic landscape where everything seemed mechanical. I don't remember much about this part, but at some point I turned off an electrical switch, which I thought would bring relief to a lot of people. There were conveyor belts everywhere and it was hard to get around because they always seemed to be moving in the opposite direction of the way I was going. I ended up doing a lot of flying around. People were working at machines like mindless drones. I saw this lady that I knew and asked her where she'd been. She was apparantly my supervisor, but I liked and trusted her. She had a nametag that said she earned 35 cents an hour, which was much more than typical at this place. We talked at work, and how this dream world related to the "other" world, aka non-dream reality. I told her I was in love with Grant in the "real" world, but never seemed to be able to connect with him in the dream world, and what could I do about this. She advised getting Grant to spend more time loving our pets.

I was then a kid again, with my cousin S. We were at some big military parade. There were gigantic tanks and trucks coming down the street. I told S that we needed to get more toward the front of the parade crowd, cause they killed all the people at the back. We didn't have much time, though, before they started killing people. It looked like everyone behind me was killed, including S, but I should be spared. Suddenly I was watching this happen on a giant sporting event screen. I saw myself get killed too.

Then I was in another alternate reality, talking with Mike, my brother. We were looking up at a building on the UW campus that was supposed to be significant somehow. I told him that on the third floor, behind a balcony, there was a room that I'd dreamed of. I decided to visit that room. There were some duffel bags that I was supposed to pick up. I grabbed them and ran down the stairs. Something was telling me I was about to run out of energy and needed fuel. When I got to the bottom, the doors were opened by some former classmates that were apparently working for the same cause as me. We went off to this spot in the alley where this group of people, like an underground political organization, was congregating. There were some papers in the bag and I was supposed to organize them into piles underneath some signs.

Someone in the organization was telling me about the importance of their cause, which had something to do with saving the world. I kept thinking to myself there's no way this could really be happening. I told her that either I'm schizophrenic or dreaming. In order to prove to me that it was real, she gave me this vision. I was standing by this serene lake at night. Then this gigantic glowing angel came flying overhead. Turns out it was Mary. She was incredibly majestic, I was in awe of her. Then I was back with the group. We were now in that room where I picked up the bags. This was their secret metting location. They told me that I wasn't supposed to die in the earlier parade, and they were fighting against that. I was their savoir or something, the last true human, they said. I found it hard to believe that I could be at the center of the universe and was very confused. I had a ton of questions, but the leader of the group said there wasn't time to answer them. She said I could ask just one. I asked that if I was the only real human, then what was everyone else in the non-dream world? She said they were people that were trapped somehow. "Like in the Matrix?" I asked. She said kind of, but it was much more monsterous than that. I was imagining horribly deformed people everywhere.

Now I was in a motel room, I had just waken up from this crazy dream. Mike was there too, but I was wondering where Grant and my parents had gone. I briefly remembered them telling us they were going to Farm & Fleet or something. It was like 1:00, though, past check out time and I was worried. Then a lady that worked in the motel came in and said they'd called and said they'd be late. I didn't believe her and broke down saying, "They're dead, aren't they?!" She looked at me oddly. Then I heard their voices outside. I rushed over to see them, but it wasn't them. It was some people that were using recordings of them. They lured me to the window and then started shooting at me. I dodged their bullets.

It gets really fuzzy after that and I'm not sure what order things happened in. At some point, I was walking back to the motel, and suddenly felt to weak to continue. I asked a lady to help me up. I was getting advice from this ancient Mayan goddess. Then I fell into some sort of abyss, cuddling the person nearest me even though I didn't know them well, because I was scared. A guy in a priest uniform told me to stay away from rats. I told him I'd stay away from people who were rats (I sensed he was one), but no way was I staying away from my pets. There was also someone telling me I was going to have a religious vision of John the Baptist over a lake tomorrow. I was skeptical.

I heard the voice of the Mayan Goddess again, she was telling me that she couldn't descend this far, she had to go. I was disappointed because she'd given me a lot of guidance. She told me to tell her what I saw next. I saw a bunch of monsters coming to attack me. A few looked like dogs, or people in dog suits. There was a big orange one that was like a cross between a muppet and a monkey. They were all attacking me and I was trying to describe them alound and then it stopped suddenly. A women stepped out, who was supposed to be Mary Magdelene. She told me that I was not to speak to the Mayan goddess anymore. I was confused about who to trust.

Then I saw Grant again. I asked him where he'd been. He apologized for not being around more. Then he asked me if I'd been naked all day, which I found odd and avoided the question. A little while later I realzied that my clothes were all laying in a pile. Grant pointed out that since I was dreaming, I didn't really need the long underwear. I decided to put them back on anyway. I had just put my pants on, when a couple of winged demons flew in and stole the rest of my clothes. I tried to fight with them and saw fear in one of their eyes. They managed to escape though, before I could get my stuff back. Apparently, my clothes held great power for them. Grant went off with them. I was shocked and distraught to discover that he had been working with them the whole time.

Wow, it's been a while, dream journal!

Dream #1- I was supposed to deliver some mail to somewhere in the south. Apparently the way this was done was sledding down there. So I was on my sled and had 3 of my rats with me. I wasn't sure why I had brought them, it seemed like a bad idea. As I was going really fast, there was a truck ahead...I put my arms out to braces for the impact. Ator (one of my rats)- head got flattened and came off. I screamed in horror and thought maybe I could reverse time to prevent this from happening. I dreamed that I awoke and was telling Grant about the dream.

Dream #2- I was in high school and we had made some sort of class movie that I was a star in. We were watching it on these bleachers made of pvc pipe that the class had also made. I felt that they were pretty flimsy and worried about the whole thing falling backwards when people leaned back. They ended up falling to the side though. No one was hurt and we went back to watching the movie. Every time my part was on, people laughed and made fun of me. Then my mom, who was sitting next to me, moved to another spot. I said, "wow, not even my mom wants to sit by me." There was some girl that was hitting on me really aggressively, which was really bothering me. I left and tried to find my way out of the school, but the girl and a friend were following me. I found a fire escape to get out, but this girl was somehow dropping pieces of flaming clothing on me. They kept hitting me, starting me on fire and melting on me...they were laughing like it was a game. Finally I came face to face with her stabbed her a bunch of times with a knife. I felt horrible about it, like I'd become some sort of monster. I left in a car but the other girl was still chasing me. I knew I was going to be in big trouble, so I drove as fast and as far as I could. Eventually the car started leaking gas, so I had to get out. I ended up in some sort of rail yard. There were trains coming at me in every direction and the girl was still chasing me. I was determined to survive...I managed to get on one of the trains while the girl got hit.

After this the dream becomes sort of lucid, sort of awake. I wanted to finish it in my mind, though it was almost more of a fantasy than a dream. I rode the train for a while, getting off in a city, somewhere. I went to a homeless shelter...they wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself...I was filthy, I had burns and blood and bits of melting plastic all over me. I did my best to clean up and bandaged myself...my head was almost completely covered in bandages. I put on some fresh clothes they'd given me and then left. I had no idea what to do or where to go next...


Thoughts & Themes- I chose to write today because Dream #2 evoked such powerful imagery in my mind. I occasionally have the experience where I see myself in a mirror during a dream, and I always look different, sometimes even disfigured, somehow. It's scary to look at yourself and see that you've become a monster...it's even scarier to realize that you've done something horrible, something unforgivable. I felt so bad about stabbing that girl that seeing that I looked like a monster almost seemed fitting. Yet I has only become that way through the actions of other people. I was tormented everywhere I went, my only instinct was survival, which was very difficult. I'm not even sure why I I bothered trying to survive, I could only see darkness ahead. This must have been what Frankenstein's monster felt like.

I remember a time in my past when I felt this way. I've come a long way since then, but it still haunts me to think about it. Perhaps it always will...