loseyateefa's dj

[loseyateefa]

I've always had an active dream life, and have had brief moments of lucidity before knowing what it was. I am now trying to develop this aspect.

[loseyateefa]

20.06.2009 Stairs (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Mostly on my own at a huge hotel conference center with lots of stairs. Had some clothing itmes in my hand which kept morphing. Was in merging traffic with a bike or just my body? and some idiot came crashing into me through the corner and hit several of us and splayed himself on ground. I chewed him out and walked off. Did not aid him, didn't care. Had to work my way down the edge of weird stairs while everyone watched, they were seated on vertical tables (indoors) like eating benches, and i was interrupting. What they expected me to do was physically impossible. the steps were reversed in angle. Somehow i was running late to church, 12stone style, finally got a seat on back row, then it morphed to the front-Kevin was talking. People came around serving food like a restaurant, all this made me very emotionally nervous. Upon leaving, someone was trying to go down the wrong way into a subway entrance area, it was all rusty iron and cracking concrete. I began climbing these rickety stairs with metal protrusions with a ridiculous impossible design. I even said at some point in this dream that I'm dreaming! I didn't react much to this revelation, but absolutely knew I was dreaming. There are other details. From the dream I learned DREAM SIGN: STAIRS One other new thing was I learned how to use a wheelchair. I had been going down cobblestone small stairs, very slowly but experimented with going down fast-it worked and was fun. Was this part of the lucid benefits? knowing i wouldn't get hurt by trying something so crazy? No accidents. I flew down like an expert several times. Don't know the meaning of this other than to observe it was hard and easy to go up or down so there wasn't a pattern. Some people were helpful, others not, just like real life. I don't say much in my dreams, but my mind and body are fully engaged and it usually involves getting from Point A to Point B under time constraints, other people are affected and there are physical obstacles of all sorts to overcome and my emotional fears to fight. I tend to feel inferior in every dream in some way.

[loseyateefa]

21.06.2009 Chest pain (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Several dreams but they faded eventhough I kept going over and over it mentally before getting up. Something with 4 parts which i thought i could easily remember. But the only recall is how badly my chest hurt. I kept saying in the dream that what I was doing should not be making my chest hurt. Felt like the worst heart burn ever. Lasted about 10 minutes.

[loseyateefa]

22.06.2009 Dozing (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID after dozing in a.m. Pulling up some weeds from ground and the root system was a wrapped tootsie roll. Playing a competition game a the beach of catching a floating leaves in ocean and placing them in a certain arrangement on the sand. Then there were gaint holes we splashed into. lots of fun.

[loseyateefa]

23.06.2009 white snake (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID rough night for sleeping due to extreme sweating and cold spells. Not much dreaming, but i did see Iran's Ahmanedijad holding up a white snake skin in the air.

[loseyateefa]

23.06.2009 188 (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Black and red small missile, this was impossible. I recognized it as weird but the dream didn't change, so I guess I wasn't lucid. Something about Grant Earls. And the # 188. We were eating at a big dinner conference in long rows. David and I seated late. Sat near Indians. Am having much trouble remembering much and even when concentrating in a semi-dream /waking state. Very frustrating.

[loseyateefa]

24.06.2009 Missed another one (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Watching one of those end time preachers- a false one- blood running out from under a short white church door. Can't remember other stuff and there was lots of it. Missed another sign. I had a long dream of teaching/preaching content and I had rehearsed it many times before getting up so I could write it down. but I immediately forgot everything about it and this really disappointed me. I failed myself but learned a lesson.

[loseyateefa]

27.06.2009 alligator (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID saturday morning in Glennville., very rough night. Something about a large shallow pond that I was familiar with- I spot a medium sized alligator and freak out! But I run tell everyone, unlike other recent dreams of inactivity when spotting danger. Then we're around teh horses, i don't know who these people are, one girl jumps on my horse and they ride off, but her back leg freezes in position on a downslope? The we realize another girl was hung underneath her or was on the ground and my horse didn't want to hurt her? This was too weird- But I didn't recognize any of it while in the dream and missed my chance to be lucid.

[loseyateefa]

28.06.2009 topless (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This dream morphed into many totally unrelated things. Sunday morning in Glennville after a rough night. Just before waking. I missed every dream sign again. DAvid was in a bicycle long distance trip with a piece of paper taped to handlebars on directions, which would not have worked. I told him to follow 2 girls who knew the way. He was going to pick up Brian but never left? he was waiting for Brian to call us? Meanwhile I was at a Tres Dias event, closing type evernt where going from room to room we had to sing a song. Words on blackboard. They were all disagreeing with a particular phrase. JIM or FFE or MIM. I was getting angry at their utter stupidity and attention to such pathetically UNimportant things. i don't think i said anything out loud. I was sitting there topless like it was normal. No one noticed and i felt a little uncomfortable, but did nothing.

[loseyateefa]

29.06.2009 bitch session (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID minimal memoryof something do with Michael Jackson (he died this week) and 2 letters repeaing like an abbreviation B & B or G & G or KK. I can't remember now but i did when first awoke. I'm so frustrated with myself because I keep repeating the same mistake despite knowing it. This is insane. And after dozing back off, I did partially remember but now cant recall anything specific to record. But either i have to learn from these failures and change my actions or just quit now and stop torturing myself. Maybe this is the first big key to lucid dreaming--being able to force yourself to go slightly backward in the dream and also slightly forward in awakening to write it down. Because what scares me is the inabilty to remember while fully awake what I had memorized and repeated to myself while phasing between sleep and total awake. its like standing in the kitched witha simple 2 item grocery list and memorizing it and not writing it down. Drive to store and then once there, not being able to recall either item. You rack your memory and you remember the initials but not what they mean. So is something wrong with my brain and memory? or is dream thought and memory like cloud images? if you don't take a pic while the cloud actually exists, it will be lost forever. So i must not be fully awake when trying to memorize? i cant expect perfection in crafting a new skill. but i see this as a sticking point to overcome and resolve to do better next time. Maybe I need more physical discipline to get the paper and light and rouse myself to wake up enough. i'm too lazy to get up, laying down and dozing feels better.

[loseyateefa]

30.06.2009 imaginary forest (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I want to describe a "forest" which I have visited many times in my dream life, but not recently. It is not a real place, but i have been there many times in dreams through my entire life. It changes slightly each time. Rectangle shape, covering several city blocks, with mostly trees and straight streets. One end is higher than the other, a gentle slope and I'm usually there when its not light outside? sometimes it feels more like a jungle, sometimes its like a city. Nothing bad has happened there, and I usually feel safe and not inferior while there. This forest is my ally, like a secret weapon. I use it to navigate situations and take shortcuts at times. What is so weird is that even while totally awake, i can vividly recall that the forest "exists". How can this be when i can't remember but bits and pieces from a life of dreaming? There are several long parallel streets without names and fewer cross streets.There is a tree canopy, which makes the interior darker than the edges.

[loseyateefa]

30.06.2009 CBS banquet (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID There are 4 dreams but only the last is remembered to write down. 1. Squirrels, Sundance and Cheyenne playing together. 2. Being in school with DAwn Strawn, something about November. 3. DAle and Grace Duncan, me and David, were traveling to a park with 2 entrances, no one would listen to my directions to go to the best entrance, but went the long way around the edges instead. 4.CBS banquet going awry, breaking rules. June Daniel graduating, last day. 98.4 on Indian course, (no idea what this is), asked questions about rules. What to do if a light bulb won't work? They said to "paint it" I argued and told them how stupid and wrong this was. Christ is about integrity. Popcorn falling out of sky and catching in mouth. Cleaning out desks like last day of school. Ann Hadwin made a pile of stuff to throw away. No sadness about end, felt complete and right.

[loseyateefa]

01.07.2009 new job (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID long twisted drama, can't remember much. Had to travel somewhere to old field, tall grass, broken boards to cover holes. On a training assignment with a large group of people-each had a new job to learn. Don't remember my task. Was eating with a new friend, I was sent away, she snubbed me for another new person. Hurt my feelings. I was inside a screen porch and couldn't get out, only watch others. I talked only. 2 people sat in a weird contraption like a black couch, movement, chicken wire. The authorities (bosses) not police, caught a man who tired to escape. Dressed like old Scottish kilt. Hundreds of gold coins fell out of pockets. Missed several opportunities to recognize lucidity.

[loseyateefa]

05.07.2009 new job spy (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID In Roanoke Rapids, running from one place to another, but not dressed or trained. Was part of a large group like a conference. I was trying to impress people. A new job, new office, was given a gun, on a team with others, got Cheetos all in the slide and on the magazine. Felt like a spy work, programming a PDA, then a big party, people picking on me. let some cats loose that we were supposed to shoot indoors as a test, then some rats, which morphed into cats? I never felt like i was dreaming. many weird things.

[loseyateefa]

09.07.2009 plastic gun and coins (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID 2 dreams. I was holding a black plastic rifle shooting at something up on a wall, not alive. No damage was being done, don't remember it actually firing. Was holding and examing hard light colored plastic strands which were all tangled up. This was a longer dream, but all I can recall is the closing scene... A man at a gaming table, waiting his turn. Rolling over 2 sparkling gold coins like card gamblers do the chips between their fingers. I remember seeing the initials in lower case "cf" and "The Prince" printed on something. And for some reason, Shawn Janes comes to mind. No speech. Mostly sepia tones except the gold coins.

[loseyateefa]

18.05.2009 Intrepid sunk (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Rough night, David came home after Tres Dias. Didn't sleep well. Had 3 vivid dreams, almost total recall and all with serious topics. Will post each individually. I had to drive my blue Dodge Intrepid across theis rickety weird wooden bridge and "hop" it from section to section across open water. Someting went wrong and I didn't land it right, so it slipped off into the water and sunk instantly. I wasn't inside, I was standing in/on the water, then on the shore. It was the most awful feeling, like how could I have let this happen? I rememer saying to DAvid, "I'm sorry." I felt sick about my utter failure. this dream deals with my fears of WATER and FAILURE. What is weird about a body of water is how it covers over hwat is under it and hsows no proof of what just happened. This is what the Bible means about our sins being at the "bottom of the sea". Forgive myself and others quickly. Look at the water's surface, because i can't see the pond's bottom anyway. Hope this doesn't mean i'll be in a sinking car.

[loseyateefa]

18.05.2009 Carnival (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Second dream of the night.. This dream segment addresses my fear of heights, failure to live up to other's expectations and failure on my part to act. Adult women and children were climbing a rickety (unsafe) structure of stairs like at a carnival slide. At the very top platform I noticed there was no safety rail on an open ledge. And a gaping hole you had to step across. I watched one person almost step into the abyss below. No one fell, no one was injured. But my mind was paralyzed over shock that no one seemed to notice the danger and no one was talking about being careful. They were oblivious to the danger. It was like only I noticed it and I DID NOTHING. Shame on me! I didn't say anything. This may represent what I know about endtimes, biblical prophecy and how people don't seem interested in discussing this topic.

[loseyateefa]

18.05.2009 Sold the company (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Third dream of the night. I was in an office setting, signing the paperwork giving/selling the ownership of our DF company to PF. Many other people around, but she was the only one I recognized. Don't remember saying much, short dream. Emotionally it felt like torture- very negative. i had to sign it like a conviction in a court case of being guilty of not being skilled enough to run the business. Admitting failure in front of everyone was what it was all about. Also, I had a head injury on the back part that you can only see in a mirror. No pain, but it looked like my hair was messed up and bloody. I would be aware of it occasionally and even comment on it, but never took the time to get a mirror and investigate. No one else seemed concerned either. Is this a sign? Am I ignoring some aspect of my health. I don't have any symptoms that warrant attention.

[loseyateefa]

10.07.2009 Claymation (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Despite waking several times for sweating and bathroom trips, can't recall actual dreams. Only a flash of "claymation" type action figures. very frustrating because I tried to concentrate with no results.

[loseyateefa]

12.07.2009 Reyje and Mary Beth apt (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID 2 separate dreams 1. I was at an outdoor event with trees and open areas. Had to move Reyje because she was in the way of something. Walked over to a different trailer and asked a woman if I could tie her to their trailer, she said yes, but when I tried, Reyje balked and pulled away. Then something about trying to retrieve a shoe which ended up being a plain dirty old white ladies tennis shoe canvas style. I was thinking it was out of place or didn't belong there. Short dream. 2. A fun jumbled up dream that I don't know quite how to piece together. At a hospital type place around lots of women strangers, small talk, had to buy lunch but didn't have my wallet, a woman said "you always pay with a debit card," (like that was bad) she paid with cash for mine. We were sitting in a horse carriage type contraption which was pulled under a tree arbor ceiling exactly what I had seen that day at the Alexanders. I was beating junk out of the ceiling, then I was kicking left over spilled food out of the seats and on the ground from under the swing(it had morphed from the carriage) people were just watching, not interacting much. I felt like I was being watched and judged by them. When it was time to go, I went back to the room, it was very neat and shades of white, it was Mary Beths apartment, but she was not there, nor in dream. Shut the door, then it morphed to a Drs. office reception area. I remembered I had left my burgandy hoodie, went back in to retrieve it. Then there was a weird scene with a gate that doesn't fit with this dream segment. It involved a metal dark gray fixture with 4 posts sticking out of it all in perfect alignment. But it needed to be pushed down further to fit. i beat on it with a hammer. ( i had just done a similar gate repair that day) On a side note, I had dreamed something else, woke up with a vivid recall and told myself i could easily remember this one without writing down a clue word. Later in the morning when full awake, i could not remember anything about this dream. So frustrating, indicates i still need more discipline in those semi-awake states.

[loseyateefa]

13.07.2009 Slideshow (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Very colorful and unique pictures, like photo slides, reminded me of fractal images. Then the subject switched to Armageddon. Deadly destruction, but I was not shocked to see it. One specific fractal was of owls in brown/yellow/orange tones all over and interwoven like an Escher drawing, but in color. I had seen a picture of an owl on Summer's fridge on Saturday night.

[loseyateefa]

13.07.2009 River crossing (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID A very out of character dream. I was swimming from one side of a big ditch with water which had lots of smooth rocks and logs and debris around. I wouldn't put my feet down because i couldn't see the bottom. Remember seeing many yellow colored smooth stones about the size of coins. I encouraged a young dark haired woman to get across. AFterwards, the dam release hit upstream and covered over everything with deep water. I explained this to the young woman about the danger, she was not aware of it before. It made me wonder why we didn't hear the alarm? Were we too far downstream or did it fail to sound? Then I was splashing around a pool area with a few young men and her, showing everyone the new water level. We were above it in a different level of pond or pool. The weird part is how CALM i felt despite being in or near WATER which is my greatest fear besides airplane flying. All were strangers. Does this imply I have knowledge that needs to be shared with others about impending danger which there are no noticeable warning sounds being given? Only because I was previously familiar with the river and the timed dam release was I able to warn them. this does have a spiritual application for me; both in salvation and the coming Tribulation and trials of the end times. I need to be more vocal, but in the right arenas.

[loseyateefa]

14.07.2009 Big event (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I had listened to Lucid Remix 30 min and the Subliminal Recall for 18 min in the afternoon. I went to bed with the 59 min Subliminal Dreaming mp3 from ninja9578 playing. Could not fall asleep during any of these. My dreams tonight were of the normal variety and my recall is sub par. I was getting ready for a big event, lots of people, some I knew. Nancy Holliday, David, Mary Beth. I still had not showered and was running late. Food was prominent. Fancy cakes and food. Sweet white chocolate pieces (which I will not eat). Mary Beth needed tampons or pads, so we found a huge stash of these items. We were ushered into this foyer area with chairs and were told to sit down. I think it was a good occasion, not a funeral. All this is fairly normal stuff, but it got weird when I told DAvid that I had sex with someone the day before. Like that was OK? He didn't have much reaction and I treated it like "so what?" That is embarrassing that I would dream something so vile. I didn't actually do it in the dream, just said I did. Very weird.

[loseyateefa]

15.07.2009 black ledge (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Me and 2 other women dream characters had split off a larger group which had been doing something stressful or illegal ( I can't remember details). We had made it into a black glass building to a 6th floor penthouse. Standing outside on the ledge, I almost fell off and they helped me to safety. I was quite upset that this action could have only implied that I intended suicide. This thought process is illogical, but I was very thankful they cared about me. Grabbing the metal edges of the building was vivid. Once inside the very expensively decorated place, I was sweeping up strings from a rug edge. Menstrual blood was running down my leg but I woke up before dealing with it. This was second and last dream recalled. I am not suicidal and have learned to live with mild depression. I'm in phases of menopause, so bleeding isn't as prevalent an event. I wonder what would have happened if I had fallen? This was not a lucid dream. Haven't had a true one yet.

[loseyateefa]

15.07.2009 street parade party (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID A large group of people in a parade. A dark haired man in a red truck stopped and began unloading smooth maple colored wooden boxes. They reminded me of kitchen cabinets or animal sized coffins. They were to be mounted on the thing we were on. We were then at a huge gala with food and long tables. A stand up canopy of blue, white, gold, lace, and coins was unfurled like a bedspread and every one awed at its beauty. Mary Beth appeared. I was seated at the end of the table (not the head) with no pants but a shirt. I was embarrassed, no one noticed. I tried to cover myself with the napkin. There was a edge or dock or water harbor not far behind me. This was the first dream of the night.