Student of Sophia Dream Journal

[Student of Sophia]

I was going through a spiritual crisis. My orthodox exoteric Christianity was crumbling. I was a mess. I was losing my faith, as I understood it at the time. I was plagued by nightmares with a recurrent theme - chased by dogs. But I couldn't stop believing...I felt trapped. Until one day in anguish I actually prayed to God to let me go, to let me stop believing. Paradoxical, I know. Then I had a dream. My wife and I were being chased down a long hallway by dogs, and we tried to hide from them in a room at the end of the hallway. The dogs were just outside the door...I could see their shadows through the key hole. Then I saw through the key hole a HUGE man walking down the seemingly infinite hallway toward us. He seemed to fill the entire hall, and he was muscle-bound. He seemed to radiate power. He had slightly dark skin, black hair, and a thin black beard. I got an Arabic impression. He walked up to the dogs and placed a bowl of dog food on the floor in front of them...all the while staring straight into my eyes. His eyes glowed. The dogs ate, and then I woke up. Shortly after this dream, I got turned on to the works of Joseph Campbell by a friend of my wife. I watched The Power of Myth series, and it truly liberated by faith. It allowed me to transcend it and transform it...free it from the cultural and temporal chains that were trapping it. And I knew as I watched that this was the bowl of wisdom that fed the dogs, and I wept with relief and liberation. Since then I haven't had the recurring nightmares

[Student of Sophia]

I had an odd audio dream. No visual component. I heard a multitude of voices talking to me, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Some were yelling, some were just talking. Then the music started and the voices stopped. It was a rhythmic, primal music, punctuated by a chime. The voices and I began to dance to it, in my head, and shortly after that I woke up. I had never had a dream like that before. It was beautiful. Then I had a dream. I saw a spinning disk of black and white swirls. The backdrop was a rose colored ether. In the center of the disk were feminine faces, one after another in a blur. One was a skull, and both life and death are in the domain of the Goddess so this made sense to me. I felt I was seeing the feminine essence itself.

[Student of Sophia]

I approached a huge black and white sphere...the surface was swirling like a soap-bubble...swirling black and white. The backdrop all around was blackest void. It's like the sphere was floating in nothingness. I had the sensation of sneaking into it. Like an action hero infiltrating a heavily guarded fortification. I think I may have entered someone else's dream. I can't really explain how or why I feel this. Plus, a few days before this I asked Sophia to send a dream to help people...I feel the world needs wisdom, and Sophia is Goddess of wisdom. I think that she may have answered my prayer...but I was the dream she sent to someone. I felt I had to get into the sphere and steal something. I was trying not to get caught. I was working my way in, and at the final obstacle I was assisted inside the sphere by a humanoid female. She seemed to be an aspect of the dreamer whose dream I was entering...she seemed to want to betray the tyrant/wizard who had taken up residence in the mind of the person whose dream I entered. She wanted me to kill the tyrant/wizard and stay there as king. I told her I couldn't do that, because I can't stay, but that I would help and then everything would be ok. I made it inside, and the dreamscape took on the form of an large sort of amphitheater. None of it looked familiar. In the center was a desk, which belonged to the tyrant/king. There were other people around, some inhuman sort of like mythological creatures, and they were sort of like allies. They were sort of like side-kicks. They were glad to see me, and they wanted me to stay. I had to keep telling them I can't stay long. I made my way to the desk. I broke into it, and found a little bag of white rocks...and my first thought was "drugs?". Sort of like crack cocaine or something. A little yellow tube was with it, and I thought "pipe"? I stole them. In other drawer I found what looked a little like marijuana. I took that too. In the center draw were newspaper clippings. I rummaged through them, they seemed harmful and ominous so I scattered them. Then one of my allies told me, "they've been watching you, since the wedding" as if in reference to the clippings. But I wasn't sure. I couldn't read any of it clearly. But a chill kind of went down my spine. "Wedding?" I said. "I'm not... married?" Later, I realized that in my earlier dream of making love to the Goddess, it was in a way, consummating our marriage. Heiros Gamos? Then something caught my attention. The tyrant/wizard was coming. I told the female humanoid, the one that helped me in, that I was going to hide up the stairs, and not to tell the tyrant where I was hiding. I ran up, but stopped before I got to the top. The stairs led up to a restaurant, and everyone was in white tuxedos and eating. I got the feeling that I must not go up that far. At the top of the stairs was a bus-boy, or a maitre d'...in nay event he was dressed in white also but he wasn't eating with everyone else. I didn't recognize him. He was watching me closely, he seemed curious about me. He seemed to try to speak, try to approach me, but couldn't. Then, I turned and there was the tyrant/wizard coming up the stairs after me. And the female who helped me earlier was with him. She says, "Sorry, I told him where you are..." and she kind of smirks at me. Then the tyrant/wizard sort of caught me in a spell or something, and I couldn't move. But the female stabbed me in the chest with a needle. I got the impression it was out of spite...because I said I couldn't stay here with her. But the sharp pain, which I remember quite vividly, seemed to break the spell. I could move and so I rushed between them and back down the stairs and into the amphitheater. Then I had one of my old childhood toys in my hands...a ray-gun. I still have it for sentimental reasons. The tyrant/wizard followed me, and seemed to try again with a spell. He had one eye that was off color, and I aimed at it and fired. It should have worked, I felt, but he had some sort of protective shield. The beam couldn't reach him. So I tackled him and jammed my ray-gun up his bum-hole and fired. He screamed and flayed around, and after a minute or two of this he died. Then instead of leaving a body he left a blank mannequin which fell apart into pieces. Then the female who assisted me in and then betrayed me to the tyrant/wizard tried to get away. I yelled "hold it!" and she froze and looked at me. One of her eyes was off-color as well, and I fired at it. The beam from my gun formed a circle of red laser-light around her eye, and the color of her eye seemed to go back to normal and then she collapsed. Then I heard the word "suicide" echo in the theater, and saw some big fat near-naked guy run for a door, like he was trying to escape me. I yelled to my allies, "stop him! there will be no suicide!" They stopped him, at least that's the impression I got. Then I went through the other drawers in the desk, and I had to smash some of them open. I ordered my allies to look around more. Then I went somewhere...not sure where...and when I came back they had found a safe hidden in the wall. I said "damn we need a safe-cracker..." and that's exactly when one came in. He said to my allies, "ah, good you removed the plants around the wall" and proceeded to crack the safe. I looked around the walls, for other safes behind paintings and posters, and one of my allies tried to warn me about the plants above but too late. One of the plants squirted green stuff on me. My allies laughed and pointed me to a sink which was right there. I washed up, laughing about how I should have known better. Then, the safe was open. Inside was music by Bach, and some books. I said "Bach?" I've never been a fan of classical music. But the music seemed harmless, so that I let stay. There were books in there, and my allies were going through them and tossing them around. Having a ball. None of them looked familiar, and I couldn't make out any titles. But I got the impression they weren't good...like they were filling his head with crud. Then, the Goddess showed up. She was very tall, incredibly beautiful, and familiar. She asked me if I liked my adventure. I said something affirmative and then proceeded to flirt. I sensed that we were on intimate terms. She smiled as we walked. Then I woke up.

[Student of Sophia]

I was asleep and a strange little white light came for me. It turned me into a light too and I zipped along behind it, following it somewhere. It entered a blueish white sphere, and I entered after it. When I entered I was back in a normal dream-body. There was the Goddess, clothed in a blueish white mist cloak. Kind of like a spiritual cloak, hard to explain. I felt as if we were in a 'realm' of sorts. I sat at Her feet. She directed my attention toward a table-top near us. On it were two small mannequin like figures, sort of like the mannequin figures in the dream in my OP. With Her hand She gestured toward the figures. A fine sort of mist emanated from Her hand, and permeated the figures and they came to life. One male, one female. They started coupling. I was amazed. I look back toward the Goddess. Ever so lovingly she put Her hand on my cheek. I felt such tremendous love and mercy and compassion. Then I seemed to pull back somehow into my body and woke up. Amazing. So I did some looking around on the net and I see that the Virgin Mary, Queen of Heaven, aspect of the Sacred Feminine, is long associated with a blue cloak. She is also associated with a crown of stars. When I was in my early twenties a friend and I saw a "UFO". It was a circle of evenly spaced bright white lights. Like stars. It flew right over head. I could see right through it. It was nothing but lights, not a solid craft. We watched it approach Pikes Peak (I lived in Colorado at the time) and fly up the side of the mountain, hugging the terrain as it flew. When it reached the peak, it angled straight up and shot up like a bullet. It began rotating on it's axis faster and faster. We watched it gradually disappear into space. I've read Jung's book on flying saucers, and I the only way I can think to interpret it is in terms of a psycho-physical reality.

[Student of Sophia]

I was in a large college campus like area, but it was also sort of like an outdoor shopping mall. Very cool. Lots and lots of people milling about. Then through the crowd our eyes locked. She was very beautiful. I think she was one of the faces from the spinning mandala dream. A face that I hadn't yet seen in a dream. She had long light-brown slightly curly hair. I went over to her and picked her up in my arms. It was like we had known each other forever. We went all over the campus having a great time, and I carried her in my arms and on my back and on my shoulders. Once there was a we man we passed who was sort of like her 'ex-boyfriend', whom she left to be with me. She said he was 'too possessive'. He was shorter than me, slightly effeminate, skinny, blond, young, and was crying. Eros? So we continued touring around, and went to a diner. Next to the diner was a video store. I asked her if she had seen the millions and millions of great movies. She said she hadn't. I was excited about showing them to her. I carried her out of the diner. As I carried her, she began to sexually arouse me with her hand. I looked down and I had an erection. I noticed I was wearing a shining silver loin cloth. I said we should go back to 'my place', and I realized that was where her car was parked. Suddenly the odd campus area was behind us, and we were in nature, we were standing on a large, gentle cliff, and in the vast distance was a very large mountain. My vision somehow zoomed to the mountain top, and there was a large and beautiful house and parked in the driveway was her car. I felt I had to get us there. In between us and the mountain was a large flat distance of beautiful nature, green with many winding rivers. The next thing I know, we are traveling. I'm skimming across rivers in various ships and boats, carrying her in my arms the whole way. One ship was HUGE, and it began to sink. As we made our way across the sinking ship, we came to a submerged room we had to cross. We swam through it. Once out the other side, I began to hop from row-boat to row-boat, each was of different size. I would plant one foot in the row-boat, and push us along with my other foot as a paddle. It would only take us so far before it fell apart, and then another one would be there and I would hop to it, my entire foot seeming to fit in them more or less and onward we would go down the river. We came to a point where I felt we should leave the river and proceed on foot through a dark area that seemed familiar to me. We were at the river bank when she said 'I want to go that way, through the middle.' and she pointed back toward the river. I looked at the river and it seemed to split in two as a long patch of rocky dry land rose up, snaking it's way down the river. I waded into the river toward the long patch of land. Then the dreamscape changed, and we were in a sort of carnival or fair or something. Events start to get muddled and confused. Lots of people partying. I bring her in, and we are in a hallway. The hallway turns to the right, and there in the corner of the turn is a painting on the wall. Standing around it are people drinking and having a good time. I recognize one, my friend Derrick, and I introduce the woman to him. But he is two people, one with a god-like aspect and another with a troll-like aspect. Somehow I know that behind the paining is a hidden room. The painting is black with shades of grey and white. I can't make-out what it is a painting of. The woman stands on the wall, and peers through a tiny hole in the painting. I don't know what she sees through it. I think I could hear some sort of activity behind the painting, but things are very confused and jumbled at this point. I'm not sure of the order of events. There is a dark-haired guy in the hallway with an old-fashioned camera set up to take pictures of the painting. He seems excited about what he can make out of the photos. I'm not sure what he does or how he does it but he uses his pictures with some sort of bio-matter that seems to come from the wall below the painting to make weird things. I don't know if the woman looked through the painting before or after this guy was taking pictures. Then I woke up.

[Student of Sophia]

I was with the woman and the blond ex-boyfriend in a hotel room. I was trying to get them back together. Neither was really going for it, especially the ex. He was very mad. He left. Some hotel workers went to fetch him back. While he was gone, the woman and I were alone. It was awkward. I was tinkering with stuff in the room. When the workers, who became sort of like big muscle thugs, brought him back I tried to talk to the woman and the ex alone. No one would go for it, especially the thugs. But I got them to agree to let me talk to the ex alone in the bathroom. I talked him into taking her back. Then the group of us left the hotel. The woman and the ex and some thugs went in one direction, and I went in another direction surrounded by thugs. On of the thugs, the leader, had a shady feel to him. I asked him where we were going, and he said to get some pot. He held some up, as if to tempt me. He asked me, "you want some pot, don't you?" As we walked, we passed a very unusual dog. It looked right at me. It had a huge mouth, and was light brown in color, like the color of her hair. The leader said something about ignoring it. But the dog tried to stop me from going on. It gently bit at my ankle, trying to stop me from going any further. It didn't hurt me, it seemed to want to help. So I woke up, and I had a song in my head. "This Time" by Bryan Adams. This time everything is all right No way she's gonna get away This time everything is easy Any day - I'm gonna make her mine