my dream journal

[negativethoughts]

i've been meaning to create one of these for a while, and now that i've finally gotten around to making one it'll be my luck to either get lazy and never update it or just completely forget all of my dreams. i'm not promising any of them are worth reading or are interesting at all. dreams are just a way into your subconscious mind, that statement is too overused and i don't know why i feel the need to say it. so i think i'll keep this anonymous just so i can say what i want to say, mention who i want to mention and just quit being paranoid about who reads what. i've been smoking pot sense the beginning of this year, and when i was high i would just randomly remember old dreams i've had in the past and completely forget them once i remembered. it was my way of throwing them away forever i guess, and thats when i realized i needed to start a journal. buuut it's a little too late now sense i've had to give that up. i'll just do the best that i can.

[negativethoughts]

this dream occurred in the morning right before i woke up. the first of it that i remember, i was facing a giant sink and i had to go to band practice but i didn't really want to (the last time i was in band was in 7th grade, so i was already realizing this was weird even while dreaming) but i kind of just climbed into the sink and i was in the very back and for some reason there were tons of trojan condoms filling up where i was sitting. next thing i know i'm climbing out of the sink and walking down a hallway out of the boys bathroom (which could explain the condoms) and i walk into a store that looks like a weird k-mart. my band director had explained where we were suppose to go and not to go to a certain part of the store because thats where the dance team was performing. so, of course all i remember was him saying something about that area of the store which is where i went and found the dance team. i saw a bunch of people in really bright lime green shirts and i asked them where we were suppose to go, and they said to just not bother because he wouldn't let me in unless i was wearing that shirt. so i went back to this camp where we were staying and i found my old friend in there (angela) whom i use to go to dance camp with. we all had our cell phones out for some odd reason she was acting like she hated me. feeling shamed, i got the bright idea of going to get some condoms and playing practical jokes on people, when i went back to where i found them the sink was extremely small and i could no longer fit and there were no more condoms left there in the first place. finding myself bored, i just decided to wake up. one of my lamer dreams.

[negativethoughts]

i haven't been forgetting to post. i do have dreams every night. none of them ever make enough sense to write about though.

[negativethoughts]

lately i've had a lot of dreams that i'm under the influence of different illegal substances. in my opinion, it's probably better than being high. you're in control of everything. one dream i've been meaning to write about is mainly about cocaine. sometime last year both of my brother's moved out and i got the younger of the two's rooms. but in this dream, the other brother's room was mine. and unlike most of my dreams, how the rooms only resemble enough of the room in real life so that i can tell thats which one i'm in, it looked/felt like my actual house for the most part. so i have this box in my hands, full of coke. my mom keeps walking into my room but i can't wait to try it, i've had it too long and i needed it right then. i do it, she walks in immediately after i put it under the bed. she doesn't seem to notice anything. but i'm tripping bad. i know how i felt in my dream isn't anything like how cocaine really effects you, it was fun none the less. i felt the slow motion dizziness of codine, and my eyes began to play tricks on me (well actually my subconscious, but whatever). i started getting agitated, and walked into my bathroom where i did some more. at the end of the dream my mom walked in and was okay with it. then my dad did some lines with me. ifonly. i wish i could remember more of it, it was a pretty damn good dream. and sense the next dream is so short, i might as well just add it in here. it felt like i had just fallen asleep, and there was an asian womans head floating in front of a very psychedelic patterned background, then she said "angel dust, angel dust, PCP? PCP?". terrified the fuck out of me, woke up immediately. just another quick note, in the mornings before school i have a lucid dream every morning. i set my allarm to 6 oclock, and then when it goes off again in 10 minutes and i just keep pressing snooze until 7 when i get up. but i fall asleep inbetween times, and lucid dream that i'm getting ready for school. one time i remember lifting my shirt up to my belly button in the mirror to see if it was real life or another dream, and there was an odd indention of a triangle around my belly button. yet i still had to question wether i was dreaming or not.

[negativethoughts]

my dad and i walk into a gas station that is quite terrible looking. it appears to have nothing interesting, but really it has everything you could ever want after a little looking. so i'm looking all over for some kind of candy that looks appealing, with no luck. all that i could find was cheap store brand knock off candies that had names very similar to the brand name ones. (ex. skittles:tittles::sour patch kids:sour hatch kids) i'm near a rack at the front when my mom points out that my dad is looking at the lsd papers. naturally, i flip shit. looking at them you would think they were lick and stick tattoos. so, this gas station has a HUGE selection (not once did i ever think how weird and illegal this was, just at how amazing life suddenly became) so my dad and i were having a difficult time choosing. finally we just got a couple full pages because the quality was questionable so i suggested we could just start off with a half of a page and if it didn't work we could do the other half. i forgot what happened here, but it was something tragic? so i was waiting for my dad outside in the truck, i had several of the pages with me. i had no intention of stealing them or anything, i was just waiting for the clear to bring them back inside so we could pay for them. then all the sudden we were at some huuuuuuuuuuge old house, with endless rooms to search. i wish i could remember well enough what the house looked like, but it was too unreal. literally. the memory that sticks out the most is that i had a lot of trouble with something. walking or something. i didn't even remember this until a picture on the internet jogged my memory.