Sylph's Workbook - Meditation in LD Class

[Sylph]

I'm not entirely sure how this is suposed to work so I'm just going to start posting in log format and record what I'm up to. Just tell me if I happen to be going about it all wrong and I'll try to fix it.

[Sylph]

2010-05-01 to 07 Trying a little meditation session every night before bed. In previous attempts I would often end up with music in my head but not anymore. The "monkey" is still quite talkative, though. Watched the suggested videos. Began reading Bhagavad Gita.

[Sylph]

2010-05-08 to 10 Managed to "gag the monkey" but it can still squeal and grunt enough. I had meant to double my sessions but I haven't even been able to do one every night this week and I've found myself trailling off completely half the time. 2010-05-11 Read "Who Ya Gonna Call", suggested by Specialis Sapientia on the Meditation Thread. Interesting and got me curious about the rest of the book. Still, all this "obsession" about living on the right side of the brain, so to speak, doesn't seem quite right to me. I mean, I've always heard that too much of anything can't be good. Why would devoting oneself to that half would be any better than remaining exclusively in the other? Why not make the most of both, of one's full potential instead of insisting in wasting half of it for whatever reason? 2010-05-13 Finished reading Bhagavad Gita. Read The Dhammapada. And feeling quite a bit depressed afterwards. Yes, we're all sick and tired of knowing that humans are worthless pieces of trash, you don't have to rub it in every other paragraph. Why people find sacred texts uplifting is beyond me. And, again, why should the right side be better than the left? I mean, is my right leg better than my left? Don't I need both equally for walking? Anyway, weird mood aside and on a more positive note - watched the videos again to refresh my memory. Talk World Peace & Unified Field While I find this totally plausible, I keep wondering why it had no effect on the chinese when they invaded Tibet. It's not like they just moved in and took over - things got really ugly as far as I know. Shouldn't the normal routine of the monks have at least "softned" things down a bit? Or the effect requires a more prolongued exposure and there was no time for that to happen? Or was it that the combined negative energy of the invaders overpowered whatever positive energy might hanging about the monasteries? I don't think I''ve heard or read anything about that particular detail. Stroke of Insight Now, this was one of the coolest things I ever heard! At first it does more to spike my scientific curiosity than my spiritual one - hearing first hand a detailed description of the secret workings of the brain - but then it begins to appeals to side of me who always (and I do mean always) thought of all things as being connected. It took many years before I got - if not in these same terms - to hear as much from an astrophysicist on TV and now I have another view from a different perspective of what seems to be the very same thing. I wonder if she has, in the meantime, learned a way to safely return to "Lalaland". 2010-05-14 Tried another session tonight. I think I've finally subdued the "monkey". Let's see how long that lasts... Now I need to find something that will help me "zone out". Or in. Whatever. I'm also back to try inducing LDs, something I haven't done in a while. I can only DILD, so it's a matter of waiting now.

[Sylph]

2010-05-15 to 21 It's been a lousy week for exercising meditation - I've only managed to do it twice on thursday and friday night. The sun sessions are a bit complicated for me to do at the moment... I can manage the silent mind thing by now but can't seem to go beyond that. My hands do feel a little large after a while but considering my bad circulation I don't expect that to mean anything. On the bright side, I did manage to get lucid on wednesday, so it hasn't all been a complete loss.

[Sylph]

2010-05-22 Began reading the availabe chapters of the book on Yoga Dreams suggested by Morphenius on Lemmefly's Workbook. 2010-05-23 Finished reading the book and took some notes for further study. I rather liked this one (thanks, Morphenius ), not just for the info on lucid dreaming but also because I got to know more about another view of the world. It was useful for something else I'm working on. Did my usual night session. No breaktroughs, though. I wonder how everyone else is faring.

[Sylph]

2010-05-29 Tried a little session before bed. I don't even remember what happened anymore but I think I had to quit again... 2010-05-30 Came across this thread here on DV and started reading the links, which was most helpful. This is what I feel we're trying to achieve with our meditation exercises, or -at the very least - it's the first step towards the final goal. I was in fact a bit put out by my findings in these texts because I have had - in a more distant past - some experience with this kind of thing and I should have realized that this was the ticket, so to speak. I guess it just slipped me... Yeah, I'm that dumb! Anyways... After getting hit in the face by the obvious, it was time again for my night session. And this time around it was different. After a while I kind of "zoned out" a bit. It felt like my body was falling asleep and about to topple over, although I wasn't sleepy at all. I had to snap my muscles back on a couple of times because I was sitting on my narrow bed and falling on my head would not have been the most relaxing experience. Basically, the whole thing felt pretty much like a WILD attempt. At the end I was half expecting to start alucinating or something, taking mental notes and planning another go at WILDing - something I never managed to do. By now about an hour had gone by and I called it a day. 2010-05-31 So now I'm busy trying to get my concious comunication with the right hemisphere back on, experimenting with the different stuff suggested in the texts and just generally trying to remember how this used to work. After a while I just thought "What the hell" and tried a bit of meditation, this time in the middle of the afternoon with sun and wind pouring through my open window. It didn't take long before I began to "zone out" again. Come to think of it, I guess at this point I started acting the same way I do in my lucids. I've have always been very confortable in the dreamworld, rarely experience any kind of strain or resistance. It's a bit like floating in the ocean for me, just going with the flow of the water. After all, I am the dreamworld, right? So I just sort of slid into the water with a good push of my legs, meaning to see where it would take me. I took in the noise from the street even as I focused on my breathing - the rustling trees, the birds, people talking, even cars going by. Then, it got really cool. I suddenly was very aware of my torso expanding and contracting with my breathing - all the muscles, the ribs, the skin. I felt - honest - like my torso, from waist to neck, had become a gigantic hollow heart pumping air! I didn't just feel it, the image was pretty clear in my head as well - a big red plastic-like heart with my head, arms and legs sitting on the bed. I was rather amused by this and I think this may have distracted me a bit. But as this sensation faded I came to notice something else. I was seeing something on the back of my eyelids. It was looking at an eye made of orange lines against a yellow backdrop and curved, pulsating orange lines - eyelids, I suppose - kept running in front of the orange iris from different directions, much like the effect of a neon light. Eye.jpg I watched it for a few moments and then began wondering if it had something to do with my bloodflow against the light - and then it was gone and I realized it wasn't. Soooo... I guess I may finally be getting somewhere, although I'm not being all that "meditative" about it, I suppose. It's more like taking daydreaming to another level. Still... Yay!

[lemmefly]

Hey Sylph, that last experience sounds pretty groovy Looks like you are getting somewhere now. Unfortunately I never had any visual experiences when meditating so far, but I guess this is the way it can evolve. How hard or easy do you think it wil be to experience similar effects like that again?

[Sylph]

Hey, lemme. I'm thinking that, at this point, this is probably gonna be a lot like DILDing - some days it happens, some days it doesn't. I find that my minset (wanting hear to from other part of me) and the way it just came out of nowhere all feels a lot like the process of inducing and then randomly getting lucidity. Which is good news for us noobs, right? I mean, it's a familiar reference at least.

[lemmefly]

Yes I can totally relate to that. It's the same for me. I basically had one really cool breakthrough experience of getting an intense ringing sound and vibration feeling in my meditation. Other than that, I sometimes get nothing at all, and sometimes I can hear a steady voice of something like a vacuum cleaner in the next room over for a while. (If you read my class workbook you know that I only get auditory effects so far). Lately I have also been struggling a lot with having LDs. I really want to try the meditation in a lucid dream, but the last few weeks I had close to zero chances. The few (maybe 2 or 3) times I got lucid ended so quickly that I didnt even find the time to sit down on the ground and start meditating. After walking around shortly in the dream environment, I always awake. I think the problem with having so few LDs is that it makes them feel so extra fragile and I am always afraid that I could do something to break them, which -in effect- breaks them. lol I just dont know what to do about it, having more LDs would certainly help gain a little confidence. What is your experience with LD's? Are you advanced with a high frequency of LDs or more of a noob like me? And have you already tried meditating in one of your LD's? Btw: Sorry I missed the last class chat session, but I was by the sea with my girlfriend over the weekend and it was impossible to get any sort of internet connection going up there.

[Sylph]

Oh, I got stars! Did you do that lemme? Thanks, Whoever. Yes I can totally relate to that. It's the same for me. I basically had one really cool breakthrough experience of getting an intense ringing sound and vibration feeling in my meditation. Other than that, I sometimes get nothing at all, and sometimes I can hear a steady voice of something like a vacuum cleaner in the next room over for a while. (If you read my class workbook you know that I only get auditory effects so far). Yeah, I did read that (I always peep at everyone's workbooks, even from other classes ). I thought I had posted there, I guess I forgot... It seems at least the physical sensations are common (considering Wavings descriptions and all) despite the differences with other sensorial experiences. Lately I have also been struggling a lot with having LDs. I really want to try the meditation in a lucid dream, but the last few weeks I had close to zero chances. The few (maybe 2 or 3) times I got lucid ended so quickly that I didnt even find the time to sit down on the ground and start meditating. After walking around shortly in the dream environment, I always awake. I think the problem with having so few LDs is that it makes them feel so extra fragile and I am always afraid that I could do something to break them, which -in effect- breaks them. lol I just dont know what to do about it, having more LDs would certainly help gain a little confidence. What is your experience with LD's? Are you advanced with a high frequency of LDs or more of a noob like me? I've had about 40 DILDs since joining DV so, although I'm not exactly a noob at LDing, I'm not that hot at it either, haha. I get low to average lucidity, usually in dreams of 3 to 10 minutes. My longest was 30 min, but I kind of lost track of what I was doing halfway into the thing. ;_; Like you, in most lucids, I don't get to do anything interesting - it's just the time to "ground" myself and take a look around my enviroment and that's it. I also get a feel of how strong\stable the dream is and how long it's gonna last and so I know how far I can "push it", which most times is not that far at all. That's why I don't get lucid often - between the time and focus that it takes to remind myself I have to get lucid tonight and the fact that I can't get to experiment when I do, I end up sticking to non-lucids. It's ironic but I do acomplish a lot of my goals while not lucid. The mind still remembers what I want to do, it just fails to notice the dreaming state. Do you use you senses to stabilize? It should give you a few more moments, if nothing else. How do you experience regular dreams? Maybe you shouldn't treat lucids any different - that might take the strain out of it, make you more relaxed when you hit lucidity. How many lucids have you had? (We really gotta update that LDcount thingy on our profiles. ) And have you already tried meditating in one of your LD's? No. I only had 1 lucid since the course began but even if I was having more I wouldn't bother to try without having some grasp on what to do. Maybe now I will. Btw: Sorry I missed the last class chat session, but I was by the sea with my girlfriend over the weekend and it was impossible to get any sort of internet connection going up there. No worries. Everyone got tied up with other things. And besides, I'm not the teach, so I don't get to be mad about that kind of thing.

[lemmefly]

What, stars? No, that wasn't me. Sorry Yea I guess it doesn't really matter what kind of sensual perceptions one gets, they all basically lead down the same road. Apart from that, as far as I see it, we also have to lose them in the end and give up even feelings of great joy and ecstasy that may arise to get really far into the meditational void. For now I see any kind of unusual perception as a sign of progress and personal motivator to keep going. I don't really have a count of LDs, but 30-40 sounds about right. But I would have to say that at least 80% of those were of the super short type and not very interesting. About half a year ago I had a couple of longer lucids that were more fun, but these days all I get are 1 min LDs. This morning for instance, I fell asleep again and was able to transition into a WILD. I was in a room with a mirror and some kind of box on the ground, so I slowly went through the room, looked into the mirror (all I could see was an extremely blurry reflection of myself), and before I could even sit down on that box to meditate, I started thinking along the lines of : "Ok nice, stay calm, sit down, start meditating, and DONT think of your body sleeping in bed" and POOF, obviously I instantly awoke. It gets even worse when it happens every time, because now I know how fragile this state really is and it makes me lose lucidity even quicker because I try to be extra-cautious. Also, my dream vision is pretty bad lately in all of my LDs ( not so in my normal dreams ), usually everything is really blurry and I have a pretty narrow field of vision, which I also can't change; I tried stuff like screaming "Clarity" or getting dream glasses, but with no real effect (the glasses helped for a few seconds before everything got blurry again). I think it couldn't hurt us to already try meditating in a dream when we get the chance. It might even benefit our waking meditation by giving us a glimpse of the state that we are shooting for. I guess the worst that could happen would be waking up immediately. I will certainly keep trying and hope that I will have something interesting to add to my workbook within the next couple of weeks Please keep your reports coming too, it is a lot more motivating to have someone else go down the same road, and we can certainly benefit a lot from each others experiences and even failures.

[Sylph]

For now I see any kind of unusual perception as a sign of progress and personal motivator to keep going. Totally agree. Can't wait to see what happens next. *note to self: restrain expectations* I was in a room with a mirror and some kind of box on the ground, so I slowly went through the room, looked into the mirror (all I could see was an extremely blurry reflection of myself), and before I could even sit down on that box to meditate, I started thinking along the lines of : "Ok nice, stay calm, sit down, start meditating, and DONT think of your body sleeping in bed" and POOF, obviously I instantly awoke. It gets even worse when it happens every time, because now I know how fragile this state really is and it makes me lose lucidity even quicker because I try to be extra-cautious. Also, my dream vision is pretty bad lately in all of my LDs ( not so in my normal dreams ), usually everything is really blurry and I have a pretty narrow field of vision, which I also can't change; I tried stuff like screaming "Clarity" or getting dream glasses, but with no real effect (the glasses helped for a few seconds before everything got blurry again). Try not to lunge for whatever task you have in mind. Try not to care about the time you have and use those first moments to touch something near you, really feel the texture of it. Or maybe pay attention to some kind of sound, if that works better for you. I know from experience how "panic" can kill lucidity so I just try to be patient about it. If nothing else, at least you get to enjoy those brief dreams more, imo. I think it couldn't hurt us to already try meditating in a dream when we get the chance. It might even benefit our waking meditation by giving us a glimpse of the state that we are shooting for. Well , the problem was that I didn't understand what to do. Now, I know it's akin to using extra-senses in lucids, I can try going that way, see what happens. I'm such an idiot that I never thought of that before. I guess the worst that could happen would be waking up immediately. I will certainly keep trying and hope that I will have something interesting to add to my workbook within the next couple of weeks *rooting* Please keep your reports coming too, it is a lot more motivating to have someone else go down the same road, and we can certainly benefit a lot from each others experiences and even failures. Totally agree again. Stay tuned.

[Sylph]

2010-06-01&02 Too beat to do whatever. Just crashed. 2010-06-03 Had a holliday. Tried taking advantage of it but can't seem to focus on anything today. To make matters worse, I noticed a similar eye pattern resulting - as I suspected the first time - from the light trough my eyelids. I'm confused because the first time I did go to the trouble of testing it and it just went out... *sigh* Above all, I'm annoyed. 2010-06-04 This was one of those days when my mind literally "works" along the lines of 4+1=3... "Got to get to Xplace by 3. Xplace closes at 4 and it takes me about half an hour to get there. I should leave at 3.30..." Useless to say I got nowhere with meditation (or anything else for that matter). Seriously...

[lemmefly]

I am having eye troubles too when trying the meditation with a lightsource (namely the sun). Either it is just way too bright and makes my whole forehead wrinkle, or it is too dark and doesnt have a whole lot of effect. I still have to have even the slightest visual effect while doing meditation. Btw, is this course still going on? I expected a PM sometime this week by waving but didnt get any. Did you? It seems like he is in a lot of stress right now, which is a pity because I really do believe that he has a lot of useful knowledge and experience to share.

[Sylph]

I don't do it under direct light, so it doesn't bother me like that. I don't know what Waving decided. He said he would post something in the class thread but never did. Nothing on my inbox either. He was going to pm the class to see if people still wanted to continue - maybe most of the others quit? Or maybe something just came up and he hasn't been able to post...